Want Advice from Bi-Sexual Woman

[NCfuncouple98]

3 months ago my profile was "straight". But after visiting the clubs, reading stories together, and watching some videos, I have now changed it to bi-curious, because I really am.

Tonight we are meeting another couple at the club, and she is bi-sexual. They are soft-swap only, which is fine, we haven't even done that yet anyway! So IF the chemistry is there and anything happens, we're all for starting out this way.

So has anyone that started out bi-curious have any advice for a first-timer? I am not just "curious" to feel what it's like or anything, I really do want it. I'm not worried about not liking it, or it turning me off.

[JustAskJulie]

I don't even remember being bi-curious... but I will say that as a bi-sexual, when I see that a woman is bi-curious it puts me off a bit and I will stay back and wait for her to make the moves. Too often that term is used for women who are only doing it to make their man happy or who aren't sure what they want but they think they might be ok, or "I kissed a girl and I liked it".

If you want it, go for it! And once you do, if you like it and you want to to do it again then go home and change your profile from curious to sexual.

[NCfuncouple98]

Thanks Julie. I was afraid of that - the bi-curious might scare her off. We'll see what happens with meeting them, but if we do and I'm attracted, I'll go for it!

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by NCfuncouple98

Thanks Julie. I was afraid of that - the bi-curious might scare her off. We'll see what happens with meeting them, but if we do and I'm attracted, I'll go for it!

It may not. I am not a very aggressively bi woman, as many are. Unless I know you are into me and ok with it I'm not going to push anything. I will flirt with you - I flirt with pretty much everyone anyway - but actually proceeding to do more than that without you being the one to instigate it isn't going to happen until I know you are 100% bi AND into me (which most often won't happen till after we've played - with a few exceptions).

I've found that overall of the actively BI women in the lifestyle that I seem to be a minority to those who are very aggressive towards anyone who even says they are bi close enough for them to hear.

[Eugwetcat]

I've always been OK with being bi after my husband and I discussed it. I don't know if I"ve been bi-curious since I was 14. Much of the time since then, I simply didn't have a male partner that I was willing to be open about it with, so I banked those fires!

[screaminggood]

We started with my bi-curiosity, and now we know that I am definitely bi! It never seemed to turn any women off that I was bi-curious, and my first lady just took the lead...and well, thank you ma'am! I think what a bi-woman is looking for is receptivity, not experience. If she's coming on to you and you're into her--that'll work!

BTW, a lot of people on this site disagree, but for us, the husband watching but not participating was one heck of a hot learning experience for him. He learned so much by watching two women, and of course, reaped tremendous rewards when we were alone later.

[Tia Vampire]

NCfuncouple,
Are you saying yall are fine starting that way in the life-style or starting out the night that way when you guys meet with this couple? I'm asking because you said, "they are a soft swap couple", if it is something you guys are hoping to start the night with and you end up not liking it, what then? Hopefully everything goes well and you end up enjoying the experience.

[NCfuncouple98]

We had only briefly chatted, and were going to have a drink at the club together. When they arrived, they brought a single male with them, and she spent most of the time with him, so we danced/flirted elsewhere. Not sure what that was all about, but we really didn't care. One thing we have learned is to go to the club with NO expectations - that way there's no disappointment.

When I meant "starting in the life'style" was the fact they were soft-swap only, so seemed a natural progression. Honestly, if we met a couple and the chemistry and attraction is right, we're ok with full-swap too.

I'll admit I was slightly nervous about it at first, but honestly, did go to the club will full intention of exploring my "bi-curiousity" - so hopefully I can explore that soon!!!

[iapr]

Originally Posted by NCfuncouple98

We had only briefly chatted, and were going to have a drink at the club together. When they arrived, they brought a single male with them, and she spent most of the time with him, so we danced/flirted elsewhere. Not sure what that was all about, but we really didn't care. One thing we have learned is to go to the club with NO expectations - that way there's no disappointment.

When I meant "starting in the life'style" was the fact they were soft-swap only, so seemed a natural progression. Honestly, if we met a couple and the chemistry and attraction is right, we're ok with full-swap too.

I'll admit I was slightly nervous about it at first, but honestly, did go to the club will full intention of exploring my "bi-curiousity" - so hopefully I can explore that soon!!!

I am the male half here so I cannot give you any first hand advice but my wife has wrestled with the whole fem/fem thing for years. Currently she has come to the conclusion that she is "sexual." That sexuality manifests it'self in who she is attracted to and who she has a chemistry with at that particular moment.

She freaks out over the label of bisexual and refuses to be labeled as such and will run for the hills if some gal she's not into approaches her but she has also been the aggressor with women who consider themselves fully bi.

Labels are worthless when it comes to female sexual preferences. There are women that call themselves bi but are actually more like married lesbians who want nothing to do with men and are more comfortable with women and can become pretty controlling and encroaching to other women. There are women that "kissed a girl and liked it" so they call themselves bi even though they don't really have any other interest in women.

Bi-curious is a completely worthless label as has no true meaning. A 100% straight gal can call herself bi-cur if she is ok dirty dancing and feeling up women on the dance floor and there are 100% truly bi chicks that call themselves bi-cur because they don't have sex with every woman that comes along.

IMHO the majority of women that call themselves bisexual in the lifestyle are open to the idea of playing with women and enjoy it when they do, but if they are engaged by a male they find attractive they don't give other women the time of day. that may have been what was happening with the woman you were refering to.

Bottom line is it is all about attraction, chemistry and comfort in who you interact with and that is regardless of whether it is male or female. What matters is what the level of attraction is and not what labels give themselves or others. You are correct to go with an open mind and not with any specific expectations. If go to the clubs with an open mind and are pleasant and interactive you will find people you are attracted to and have a chemistry with. some will be males and some will be females. Most important thing is to go and meet people and interact and have fun. What is meant to be will be and what isn't won't.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by iapr

Bi-curious is a completely worthless label as has no true meaning....and there are 100% truly bi chicks that call themselves bi-cur because they don't have sex with every woman that comes along.

I don't see it this way at all.

Bi-curious was how I listed myself - the "label" I used, if you want to call it that - on our ad profile and it meant just what it said, I was curious about what it would be like to sexually interact with another woman, to include kissing, sucking tits, oral giving and receiving, strap-on play, even a try at fisting another woman which I always had a curiosity about. I did it all. Until I had the opportunity to do these things, get some experience with other women, I didn't feel I could list myself as bisexual on our profile.

For me bi-curious was exactly what expressed where I was at the time.

I've not heard of any "truly bi chicks" that use the bi-curious label as a way to get out of having sex with every woman that comes along. What I have heard them say is they have no trouble say no thanks to women they aren't interested in playing with, just as they do to the men they aren't interested in.

LM

[iapr]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I don't see it this way at all.

Bi-curious was how I listed myself - the "label" I used, if you want to call it that - on our ad profile and it meant just what it said, I was curious about what it would be like to sexually interact with another woman, to include kissing, sucking tits, oral giving and receiving, strap-on play, even a try at fisting another woman which I always had a curiosity about. I did it all. Until I had the opportunity to do these things, get some experience with other women, I didn't feel I could list myself as bisexual on our profile.

For me bi-curious was exactly what expressed where I was at the time.

I've not heard of any "truly bi chicks" that use the bi-curious label as a way to get out of having sex with every woman that comes along. What I have heard them say is they have no trouble say no thanks to women they aren't interested in playing with, just as they do to the men they aren't interested in.

LM

Good points but bi-cur is still so open to individual interpretation that it has no real meaning in and of itself. A lot of women are curious about the touch of another woman so the question will need to be asked, at what point do you "KNOW?"

I was and am curious about all those things myself (except for the fisting and strap-on) as well as curiosity about a million other things but I never listed myself as straight-curious.

My point is that bi-cur is so open ended and so all-encompassing that it has no real value. People use it to avoid being pidgeon holed into a strictly straight box or into a completely bi box and the spectrum between 100% straight and 100% bi is huge.

BTW even though I spout off about bi-cur having no real value, that is what my fem half is listed as on our profile and she probably will be forever (which brings up another thread topic, "How Many Years Can a Woman Be Listed As Bi-Cur Before She Has To Make Up Her Mind?)

Bi-cur is so open to interpretation that it in and of itself is not descriptive. One would have to ask the individual what it means to them. If you ask 100 bi-cur women what bi-cur means to them you will probably get about 100 different answers.

And as far as people using bi-cur as a disclaimer so bisexual activity is not assumed I have met a number of them. I don't exactly agree with that and I agree that they should be able to decline an advance with grace and dignity but it does occur.

[fun4Ds]

[quote=iapr;356819]

BTW even though I spout off about bi-cur having no real value, that is what my fem half is listed as on our profile and she probably will be forever (which brings up another thread topic, "How Many Years Can a Woman Be Listed As Bi-Cur Before She Has To Make Up Her Mind?

Till the end of time my friend. We don't have to understand everything.

It makes them mysterious, and... I like that

[crazinred]

Red is listed as Bi curious and really is curious. She is unsure of how to make the first move so is hoping to find a lady will make the first move. We where with a couple last week that the female was bi but doesn't initiate contact first so nothing more then titty sucking occurred. Hopefully we will find a Couple or Lady to help her take the step into bi sexuality.

[NCfuncouple98]

I have a best friend, now married, who lives far, far away that has played bi-sexually before, and this summer when she visited, in front of a crowd, there was some titty action as well, and even a kiss. Now she and I have chemistry! Too bad she lives so far... I'll see her in March, but by then she'll be 8 months pregnant!

I have gotten emails from 3 couples now with the female listed as bi-sexual.

The first ones - we said hello at the club, but there really wasn't any chemistry between the 4 of us.

The second ones - We've chatted online, but we're really not that interested. She got a little too pushy for our tastes.

Last night, received another email, they live only about 10 miles from us, so we may meet for drinks one night next week.

I, like Red, not only have the fantasy, but am ready to take that next step, but there has to be chemistry between me and her, otherwise it would probably won't go very well. So I'll patiently wait for the right woman & opportunity, and we'll see what happens!

[arvcpl]

I'll address this from a little different perspective. I'll assume that you live your life pretty much as a normal heterosexual female correct?

Ok so since you are essentially heterosexual and have and enjoy sexual relations with men, does that automatically mean that you will engage in the full range of sexual activities of every man that also happens to be heterosexual?

My guess is your answer to that question is a resounding "ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

Well the issue with fem bisexuality really isn't any different. Just because you are bi-cur doesn't mean that you are going to hit it off with every bi or bi-cur woman that comes along nor does it mean that just because some gal is bi that it automatically means that she will have an attraction to you.

Just as you don't do everything with every guy that comes along nor should you expect that you will do everything with every woman that comes along or should you think that just because a gal is bi that she will do everything or even anything with you.

Heck there are even completely straight guys that don't like to kiss women or go down on women or dirty dance with women etc etc all the rules regarding attraction and chemistry and such apply to bisexual women as they do to heterosexual men and women.