Getting wife to accept her bi-side

Chitowndk4u · 08-11-2008, 10:00 AM

My wife is bi-sexual, but she doesn't like being called that. Her friend calls her that all the time.

She has been with two women (once with me and once with a couple without me) and she has done everything with them. She doesn't like to refer to herself as bi and she likes to act like she isn't, but we know she is and enjoyed her experiences as she dove right in each time (no pun intended)

Any suggestions on how to get her to accept this about herself?

**LFM2** · 08-11-2008, 10:30 AM

She sounds a lot like me, but I can't really call myself bi-sexual either.

I think it all depends on definition. I love playing with women. I guess I am bi-comfortable, bi-sensual, but not bi-sexual. Bi-sexual to me is being able to have an exclusive, loving relationship with a woman, just as I can with a man. I have to have my man, which in my twisted little mind, makes me more heterosexual than bi-sexual. I love having sex with women, but to have a one-on-one relationship with just one woman would be out of the question.

Just my $.02

Chitowndk4u · 08-11-2008, 11:30 AM

I hear what you're saying. I understand it. So what do you think she should refer to herself as?

I personally don't like labels, but as we know these things get placed on us.

**BiloxiCouple** · 08-11-2008, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chitowndk4u

I hear what you're saying. I understand it. So what do you think she should refer to herself as?

I personally don't like labels, but as we know these things get placed on us.

Then throw the labels away!!! Just say sometimes she likes a woman's touch

Or whatever description of herself she is comfortable with.

People use to ask if my wife was bi. I just got to the point where I told them to ask her. She has her own description which really doesn't include the word bi. And I don't accidentally label her with something she is uncomfortable with.

Chitowndk4u · 08-11-2008, 12:32 PM

Point taken

SecretAsianMan · 08-11-2008, 01:16 PM

Yeah, I'm in agreement with getting rid of the specific "labels" -- especially if the person in question isn't very comfortable with the term being applied to them.

I have a gal who refers to herself as a drunken "hetero-flexible" who doesn't mind groping or kissing on other gals when she's three-sheets to the wind. I always found that really silly - but it works for her

2inSanDiego4u · 08-11-2008, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SecretAsianMan

I have a gal who refers to herself as a drunken "hetero-flexible" who doesn't mind groping or kissing on other gals when she's three-sheets to the wind. I always found that really silly - but it works for her

That describes about 100% of the females we know!

In profiles we've seen "bi-sensual", "bi-comfortable", "bi-curious", "bi-situational", "bi-selfish" <- WTF!, "Pillow Princess"

, "likes the touch of a woman", "likes to kiss a woman". We've also seen women and been with women who claim to be straight but are in fact bi.

Bottom line, just relay the fact that she is interested in women in a manner which is comfortable to her. Let her read this thread and pick a "label" or tag line.

**LFM2** · 08-11-2008, 04:15 PM

I have to agree with BiloxiCouple.

I am what I am. No labels here. I'm just happy to be me!

**BiloxiCouple** · 08-11-2008, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LFM2

I have to agree with BiloxiCouple.

I am what I am. No labels here. I'm just happy to be me!

Somebody agrees with me

Dynamar · 08-11-2008, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LFM2

I have to agree with BiloxiCouple.

I am what I am. No labels here. I'm just happy to be me!

I don't disagree with LFM, just wanted to point out that, unfortunately labels are less for ourselves than to help others understand us. My .02, for what it's worth.

SecretAsianMan · 08-11-2008, 06:36 PM

Anyone else getting an image of Gary Larson's "The Far Side" comic where there's this one penguin standing amidst a whole flock of other penguins ... and he's belting out at the top of his lungs...

"I gotta be me! I gotta be me!!"

knb2004 · 08-11-2008, 08:48 PM

FWIW, Mrs. knb self-identifies as "bisexual", but she too is interested in other women only for sex, and can't see herself in an LTR with a woman. Of course, since I have declared her mine for all time, were that prospect to come up, it would have to be a three way relationship.

Edison Carter · 08-11-2008, 08:52 PM

Susan here-- I play bi in group scenes, but never felt bisexual. I just like to say,"I"'m couple friendly' .

**fun4Ds** · 08-11-2008, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chitowndk4u

My wife is bi-sexual, but she doesn't like being called that.

Then Dont !

Quote:

Her friend calls her that all the time.

Let them so what, you dont have to.

Quote:

She has been with two women (once with me and once with a couple without me) and she has done everything with them. She doesn't like to refer to herself as bi and she likes to act like she isn't, but we know she is and enjoyed her experiences as she dove right in each time (no pun intended)

Any suggestions on how to get her to accept this about herself?

Call her wonderful instead.... It could just be between you two

Well, I guess we will know now

Chitowndk4u · 08-12-2008, 07:38 AM

I have read all the responses and I really like the bi-comfortable and bi-sensual titles.

Thanks for the input.

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08-11-2008, 10:00 AM	#1 (permalink)
Chitowndk4u Here to Stay Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 44 Location: Chicago Status: M. Male	Getting wife to accept her bi-side My wife is bi-sexual, but she doesn't like being called that. Her friend calls her that all the time. She has been with two women (once with me and once with a couple without me) and she has done everything with them. She doesn't like to refer to herself as bi and she likes to act like she isn't, but we know she is and enjoyed her experiences as she dove right in each time (no pun intended) Any suggestions on how to get her to accept this about herself?

08-11-2008, 10:30 AM	#2 (permalink)
LFM2 Julie's Helper Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 2,015 Location: State of Confusion Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:LFM2 Blog Entries: 4	Re: Getting wife to accept her bi-side She sounds a lot like me, but I can't really call myself bi-sexual either. I think it all depends on definition. I love playing with women. I guess I am bi-comfortable, bi-sensual, but not bi-sexual. Bi-sexual to me is being able to have an exclusive, loving relationship with a woman, just as I can with a man. I have to have my man, which in my twisted little mind, makes me more heterosexual than bi-sexual. I love having sex with women, but to have a one-on-one relationship with just one woman would be out of the question. Just my $.02 __________________ "One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other." Jane Austen

08-11-2008, 11:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
Chitowndk4u Here to Stay Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 44 Location: Chicago Status: M. Male	Re: Getting wife to accept her bi-side I hear what you're saying. I understand it. So what do you think she should refer to herself as? I personally don't like labels, but as we know these things get placed on us.

08-11-2008, 12:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
Chitowndk4u Here to Stay Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 44 Location: Chicago Status: M. Male	Re: Getting wife to accept her bi-side Point taken

08-11-2008, 01:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
SecretAsianMan Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 513 Location: Los Angeles Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:Secret_Asian_Man	Re: Getting wife to accept her bi-side Yeah, I'm in agreement with getting rid of the specific "labels" -- especially if the person in question isn't very comfortable with the term being applied to them. I have a gal who refers to herself as a drunken "hetero-flexible" who doesn't mind groping or kissing on other gals when she's three-sheets to the wind. I always found that really silly - but it works for her __________________ I used to be indecisive... now I'm not so sure.

08-11-2008, 04:15 PM	#8 (permalink)
LFM2 Julie's Helper Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 2,015 Location: State of Confusion Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:LFM2 Blog Entries: 4	Re: Getting wife to accept her bi-side I have to agree with BiloxiCouple. I am what I am. No labels here. I'm just happy to be me! __________________ "One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other." Jane Austen

08-11-2008, 06:36 PM	#11 (permalink)
SecretAsianMan Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 513 Location: Los Angeles Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:Secret_Asian_Man	Re: Getting wife to accept her bi-side Anyone else getting an image of Gary Larson's "The Far Side" comic where there's this one penguin standing amidst a whole flock of other penguins ... and he's belting out at the top of his lungs... "I gotta be me! I gotta be me!!" __________________ I used to be indecisive... now I'm not so sure.

08-11-2008, 08:48 PM	#12 (permalink)
knb2004 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 197 Location: NYC Status: M. Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:knb2004	Re: Getting wife to accept her bi-side FWIW, Mrs. knb self-identifies as "bisexual", but she too is interested in other women only for sex, and can't see herself in an LTR with a woman. Of course, since I have declared her mine for all time, were that prospect to come up, it would have to be a three way relationship.

08-11-2008, 08:52 PM	#13 (permalink)
Edison Carter Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 420 Location: Bloomington, Il Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:EdisonCarter Blog Entries: 1	Re: Getting wife to accept her bi-side Susan here-- I play bi in group scenes, but never felt bisexual. I just like to say,"I"'m couple friendly' .

08-12-2008, 07:38 AM	#15 (permalink)
Chitowndk4u Here to Stay Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 44 Location: Chicago Status: M. Male	Re: Getting wife to accept her bi-side I have read all the responses and I really like the bi-comfortable and bi-sensual titles. Thanks for the input.

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