Label me, please...

[rdy46227]

Assume I'm a male who became sexually aroused looking at a male maybe, perhaps, possibly, almost twice in a long life time. I certainly don't seek out a male to play with, and have unconditionally rejected the few advances made to me by another gay male.

However, when a woman is present and involved, I have no trouble giving or receiving oral with certain guys, and have been both top and bottom with a guy.

1. What would you call me?

2. What "code words" would you use in a profile to say that:

a) when playing with another couple I'd be 100% straight, not even touching the man without an explicit invitation, but

b) would consider an invitation (during a mixed encounter) if the guy wanted to go guy on guy (i.e. he wears the same label you hang on me)?

Thanks.

[VegasLee]

First I would call you trying to make life much harder then it has to be.

Bi-Sexual. Pretty simple.

Maybe if you feel the need to add to it then Situational Bi-Sexual.

[sweet_tna]

I'm not much for labels, myself. But as we tend to need a common language to help us describe our preferences to others, I'd say you're Bi. Nothing wrong with that, though you may find that there does seem to be a double standard in the lifestyle. Bisexual women are encouraged, but many people shy away from bi men.

Best of luck to you,

=)

[Chicup]

While your description would be bisexual, my study of human sexuality would provisionally label you as homosexual in self denial.

[az469]

i would say your a tri sexual.
it means you will try anything.

[olycouple]

I think it is a good and well communicated question...but I don't think you'll ever get the same in an answer.

I'd call you sexual. Possibly bi-curious...maybe bi-comfortable...but certainly not homosexual. I get sort of cranky when people try to say you can't be more than one thing or different things at different times. Sexual habits are similar to eating habits, IMO: some people are die-hard carnivores and would rather get scurvy than touch a vegetable, others are completely vegan and get queasy and a bit teared-up when they think about eating anything with a face, and there are still others who like a bit a variety and will try anything at least once. On top of that, our cravings change with mood, season, time of day, etc.

I've had this conversation before, and I'd say, if you're comfortable with the label of "bi-sexual" go with it. If you are afraid of backlash, go with "straight" and deal with the situations (opportunities!) as they arise.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by olycouple

I think it is a good and well communicated question...but I don't think you'll ever get the same in an answer.

I'd call you sexual. Possibly bi-curious...maybe bi-comfortable...

Most men who call themselves bi in swinging don't go beyond oral. I think this is a bit beyond bi-comfortable or curious.

I get sort of cranky when people try to say you can't be more than one thing or different things at different times. Sexual habits are similar to eating habits, IMO: some people are die-hard carnivores and would rather get scurvy than touch a vegetable, others are completely vegan and get queasy and a bit teared-up when they think about eating anything with a face, and there are still others who like a bit a variety and will try anything at least once. On top of that, our cravings change with mood, season, time of day, etc.

I've had this conversation before, and I'd say, if you're comfortable with the label of "bi-sexual" go with it. If you are afraid of backlash, go with "straight" and deal with the situations (opportunities!) as they arise.

Male sexuality isn't like food habits. Seeking variety in food is natural to prevent nutritional deficiencies. Few foods are a 'complete' meal so our bodies want us to switch now and then and not eat the same thing every day. Sex, doesn't work that way in terms of orientation, especially for men.

[JTcamp05]

Too many lables.....

I guess Bi-Curious....... I think its pretty normal to become sexually aroused at times. I bet more men have had experiences or would have then without the negativity attached to everything. Its just so much different with woman, it's rare to find a profile with straight woman in it anymore. I personally have not been in a sitituation that contact between the men was open, but I would never say I'm closed minded and wouldn't consider it.

So I understand your question...what is the lable....Open minded??

[VegasLee]

Originally Posted by rdy46227

I have no trouble giving or receiving oral with certain guys, and have been both top and bottom with a guy.

I think that statement takes him past the "Curious" point. Your curious until you do, then you are no longer curious.

[rickmccool]

Originally Posted by rdy46227

Assume I'm a male who became sexually aroused looking at a male maybe, perhaps, possibly, almost twice in a long life time. I certainly don't seek out a male to play with, and have unconditionally rejected the few advances made to me by another gay male.

However, when a woman is present and involved, I have no trouble giving or receiving oral with certain guys, and have been both top and bottom with a guy.

1. What would you call me?

2. What "code words" would you use in a profile to say that:

a) when playing with another couple I'd be 100% straight, not even touching the man without an explicit invitation, but

b) would consider an invitation (during a mixed encounter) if the guy wanted to go guy on guy (i.e. he wears the same label you hang on me)?

Thanks.

Like VegasLee said if you want to be honest on your profile, which I recommend, the correct label/description is situational bi-sexual. It describes what you are willing to do, in a swinging encounter. If you are capable of enjoying sex with both men and women, no matter if the situation is a mixed gender encounter, then you are bi-sexual although I prefer the term ambisexual. You are OK. Believe me there are many men to whom this label would apply. Enjoy your life and remember to play safe.

[Additude]

Bi-Willing....but I'm not sure thats a catagory...or labelish...or has meaning...but it might...I'm not sure.

Good-Bi

[funcpl4life]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Most men who call themselves bi in swinging don't go beyond oral. I think this is a bit beyond bi-comfortable or curious.

You base this on what experience?
Seriously, you are probably right based on posts on swingersboard.

Originally Posted by Chicup

Male sexuality isn't like food habits. Seeking variety in food is natural to prevent nutritional deficiencies. Few foods are a 'complete' meal so our bodies want us to switch now and then and not eat the same thing every day. Sex, doesn't work that way in terms of orientation, especially for men.

I would say you are mostly correct with these two caveats:

1) In our culture.
There are plenty of examples of bisexuality woven into other cultures.

2) Under laboratory conditions.
My understanding of the research shows that men tend to respond under lab conditions either to hetero or homo sexual visual stimulus but not both regardless of their self-labeling of straight, bi or gay. I understand what that research is saying and that it was performed under controlled lab conditions, but I'm not much of a behaviorist. I think that the breadth and depth of human sexual cognition is greater than the picture painted by those studies or your post, but then that may be because I'm bi.

Mr FC4L

[SnowwwWhite]

You've had sex with other men by your own admission. It seems like you're trying to lighten the homosexual label by saying "it was only a few times" or you could be in a straight encounter without any contact with the male. I personally don't think it matters how many times you've had homosexual encounters or whether you're willing to subdue that part of your sexuality in certain situations. You're an active bi-sexual. No bi-"curious" or bi-"situational" about it.

We're all sexually "situational" anyway. Just because I'm a straight female who likes sex doesn't mean I'll have sex with any man I encounter. I'll engage in contact if the person and timing is right. There's no need for people to say they're "situational" in a profile because it's pretty much understood.

Please be fair and list yourself as bi-sexual, even though it's not popularly accepted. I'm probably not the only one who would feel deceived by having an encounter with a man who's had outright homosexual experiences and is honestly a bi-sexual, but listed himself as straight (or bi-curious, which would make me think he hadn't had an encounter yet).

If it makes you feel better to qualify the bi-sexual label you could mention that you're "selectively" bi-sexual.

[sexcupid]

Well, some would argue that sexuality is like a spectrum. At one end you have strictly homosexual on the other you have strictly heterosexual and every else falls some where between the 2 extremes. I think even Kinsey argued that point.

If putting a label on it makes you feel better or less confused, I would say you are bi. You may want to try alt dot com to see if you can find more couples listed with bi-guys...or even search SLS in your area...there can be a few listed.

Good luck!

[rdy46227]

Originally Posted by Chicup

While your description would be bisexual, my study of human sexuality would provisionally label you as homosexual in self denial.

No self denial. Been there, done that, occasionally wear the tee shirt (like now).

Just trying to emphasis that sexual attraction to a male occurs so infrequently that functionally, it is never a factor.