Label me, please...

[rdy46227]

Originally Posted by sexcupid

Well, some would argue that sexuality is like a spectrum. At one end you have strictly homosexual on the other you have strictly heterosexual and every else falls some where between the 2 extremes. I think even Kinsey argued that point.

If putting a label on it makes you feel better or less confused, I would say you are bi. You may want to try alt dot com to see if you can find more couples listed with bi-guys...or even search SLS in your area...there can be a few listed.

Good luck!

I never thought about sexual orientation being the same kind of label as "virginity", that is once you've had a same-sex encounter you are forever "bi". No way to undo it, just like you can't regain virginity.

Sexual orientation seems more useful as a descriptor for current situations, like I dyed my hair so now I'm a red-head. (If you want a blond, check back in a few months! )

[rdy46227]

Originally Posted by Additude

Bi-Willing....but I'm not sure thats a catagory...or labelish...or has meaning...but it might...I'm not sure.

Good-Bi

This sounds the best of all the suggestions.

Obviously, there will be some people who are going get the wrong idea.

Some people will fast forward, automatically assuming that in an encounter, I'd always behave differently than a straight male would behave and I couldn't help but test the water with the guy, etc. Their assumption would be very wrong, and we would loose the chance of being contacted.

Other people, looking to negotiate a situation with some MM activity will get the wrong idea (i.e. male contact is not acceptable) if the profile doesn't include "bi-<something>" somewhere.



I think what is bothering me the most is the conflict between my personal honesty and having my honor impugned sight unseen.

Thank you all for your many excellent thoughts!

[WeUse]

Originally Posted by rdy46227

. . . Just trying to emphasis that sexual attraction to a male occurs so infrequently [???????????] that functionally, it is never a factor.

Two questions, and I don't mean to be obnoxious:

1. On what factual basis do you make that contention; and,

2. Of what importance is it?

I'm just trying to understand.

[WeUse]

The following labels/terms may be helpful for your purposes. They're taken from some recent “studies” on human bisexuality premised on criteria of “desire” and “experience”.

1. Alternating bisexuals: - may have a relationship with a man, and then after that relationship ends, may choose a female partner for a subsequent relationship, and many go back to a male partner next.

2. Circumstantial bisexuals: - primarily heterosexual, but will choose same sex partners only in situations where they have no access to other-sex partners, such as when in jail, in the military, or in a gender-segregated school.

3. Concurrent relationship bisexuals: - have primary relationship with one gender only but have other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender at the same time.

4. Conditional bisexuals: - either straight or gay/lesbian, but will switch to a relationship with another gender for financial or career gain or for a specific purpose, such as young straight males who become gay prostitutes or lesbians who get married to men in order to gain acceptance from family members or to have children.

5. Emotional bisexuals: - have intimate emotional relationships with both men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one gender.

6. Integrated bisexuals: - have more than one primary relationship at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman.

7. Exploratory bisexuals: - either straight or gay/lesbian, but have sex with another gender just to satisfy curiosity or "see what it's like."

8. Hedonistic bisexuals: - primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have sex with another gender primarily for fun or purely sexual satisfaction.
9. Recreational bisexuals: - primarily heterosexual but engage in gay or lesbian sex only when under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

10. Isolated bisexuals: - 100% straight or gay/lesbian now but has had at one or more sexual experience with another gender in the past.

11. Latent bisexuals: - completely straight or gay lesbian in behavior but have strong desire for sex with another gender, but have never acted on it.

12. Motivational bisexuals: - straight women who have sex with other women only because a male partner insists on it to titillate him.

13. Transitional bisexuals: - temporarily identify as bisexual while in the process of moving from being straight to being gay or lesbian, or going from being gay or lesbian to being heterosexual.

Personally, I'm not big on labels for reasons beyond the scope of this forum.

Good luck,

~J

[JTcamp05]

Originally Posted by rdy46227

Just trying to emphasis that sexual attraction to a male occurs so infrequently that functionally, it is never a factor.

Well said I'll say!!

[theflamekasters]

Originally Posted by sexcupid

Well, some would argue that sexuality is like a spectrum. At one end you have strictly homosexual on the other you have strictly heterosexual and every else falls some where between the 2 extremes. I think even Kinsey argued that point.

If putting a label on it makes you feel better or less confused, I would say you are bi. You may want to try alt dot com to see if you can find more couples listed with bi-guys...or even search SLS in your area...there can be a few listed.

Good luck!

I think she is correct!

[notaswingeryet]

Originally Posted by rdy46227

I never thought about sexual orientation being the same kind of label as "virginity", that is once you've had a same-sex encounter you are forever "bi". No way to undo it, just like you can't regain virginity.

I don't know. I knew a girl in highschool who "lost her virginity" three times.

At least that's what she told the boys!

The only reason I see for your need of a label, would be to infom or warn others of your rare desire for homosexual acts. If this could be a factor in choosing partners, I think it would only be fair to label yourself as bisexual. You will get rejected by some people but it is better to be upfront with them than having to sort out hurt feelings later.

[SnowwwWhite]

Originally Posted by notaswingeryet

The only reason I see for your need of a label, would be to infom or warn others of your rare desire for homosexual acts. If this could be a factor in choosing partners, I think it would only be fair to label yourself as bisexual. You will get rejected by some people but it is better to be upfront with them than having to sort out hurt feelings later.

Lots of great responses, but this was concise and to the point.

By your own admission, it sounds like it's difficult for you to label yourself bi-sexual or even see yourself as one... but you realize that in the interest of honesty you really do need to mention it. Yes, by being bi-sexual you are limiting your potential partners, but it is only fair to be honest with people. It is your personal choice to engage in bi-sexual acts, and it's others' choices to decide whether to play with bi-sexuals.

You've made a personal choice. Tell the truth and let others have the opportunity to make their choice.

I still think "selectively bi-sexual" is about as palatable and honest as you can get (regarding what you said your experiences are) without coming right out and having to say bi-sexual.

[ViSexual]

Why do we need labels so darn much?

If a girl wonders what it's like to give head she's not labeled cocksucker-curious.

And, if she does it but really prefers other things, but will still do it for a partner in the right circumstances, she's not labeled a cocksucker, is she?

OK, I think a lot of us men, when we were boys, wished we could give ourselves head. And, some of the more limber, lucky, ones actually did it.

And, a lot of us still wish that, at times, as we got older.

As boys we want to do it to see what if feels like to be sucked.

As men, a lot of us, know what it feels like to be sucked but want to know what it feels like to do it.

Sexuality, to me, is what people turn you on, not what body parts you might enjoy playing with.

I think that's why transsexuals are so popular. It's a way for a man to find out what it's like to play with a cock other than his own, yet still be turned on by, and enjoy the company of, a pretty lady.

[NakedInSeattle]

As much as I hate labels, there are these:
Poly-sexual
Multi-sexual
Pan-sexual
Open-sexual
Adventurous-sexual

The label is only necessary when trying to explain to someone else what our likes and limits are. Personally, I wish we didn't have to. I wish we were all so open to all kinds of pleasure that no one would have to worry about acceptance. But, alas, it is not to be, I'm afraid.

So, until that day, we'll just have to settle for bi-curious until you've done it and bi-sexual after you have (assuming you want to continue, that is).

As ever, thanks for this forum and all who enter here.

[BiloxiCouple]

Instead of using "labels", just call it what it is. Use the details instead of labels.

e.g. I like women and sometimes I need a man. Or I like group sex with multiple partners, no names please

This example can go a thousand different ways.

Use the details that fit you.

[notaswingeryet]

Originally Posted by ViSexual

Why do we need labels so darn much?

If a girl wonders what it's like to give head she's not labeled cocksucker-curious.

Am I the only one who can see this printed on a tee shirt???

[Mr.Essex]

Heteroflexible. It's a loaner word (I learned it from a would-be Domme) from the BDSM culture, but it would be the best description of your situation.

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by Mr.Essex

Heteroflexible. It's a loaner word (I learned it from a would-be Domme) from the BDSM culture, but it would be the best description of your situation.

Oooh I like that word!

=)

[aster]

i'm kind of the same way. i like the ladies, and so long as there were men around (i like an audience!) i'm entirely open to a lesbian experience, it's exciting. but alone with a girl...i'm just bored, LOL.

i say i'm bi-comfortable. because really, i'm just in it for the guy attention and the chance to do something "naughty".

but your profile doesn't have to explain everything in intimate detail. you can say whatever you want about it, and then when you feel comfortable talking to specific people, you can explain further, just like you did here.

good luck!