Men: Bi-curious, Bi-sexual, or just plain sexual?

[NotSorry]

Originally Posted by good times

As far as the theory of everybody being a little bit bi goes, I think that is total BS. I for one, and most every male I know, have absolutely zero sexual desires for other males.

I am not about to presume that I can speak for anyone else about their sexuality but I kind of feel like this is a social construct. In the absence of societal messages, strict categorization and the stigmas (or benefits) associated with categorizing oneself I believe that sexuality would be a lot more muddled.

As you said, women are more encouraged to experiment with bisexuality as it is not only more accepted but it is often a turn on for the men in their lives. Men are stigmatized for the mere thought. A man with slight interest could very easily teach himself to turn that part of his sexuality off and it would be beneficial for him to do so because the cons of identifying as bi would outweigh the benefit for him.

I think at the start we all tend to be curious but only some of us are encouraged to explore that curiosity.

Make sense?


Mrs. NotSorry

[Stephen43011]

This is the guy half throwing out my thoughts. I list myself on our profile sites as straight. We have played with couples that both were bi and we had a great time. I guess I have found that in the heat of things you tend to open up more and have fun without thinking taboo when it comes to male and male.
I guess I can be considered bi-curious but far from gay. When couples or more get into a group play its nice not to have to worry about guys touching each other, just go with the flow and enjoy. Females do look allot hotter together than guys but its all how you want to make it.. Be safe

[GerdOEvert]

Three or four points.

It has been accepted and agreed in the psychiatric community that all humans are bisexual more or less.

It has been a crime for centruies, until recently, for men to act on their homosexual urges, but not for women to do so. Go check the laws of England, from whence our laws spring.

Women are more attractive physically and when they stimulate each other than are men, so are more readily accepted. Breasts and pussy are hot when stimulated.

Additionally, since women do not get pregnant for female to female contact but shill have orgasm/climax, it has some advantages.

In my experience, in the swinging scene, when bi sexual men experiment with each other it is in the closed rooms without an audience. Women are in open rooms and regarded as "hott" when they engage in bisexual play.

I had a homosexual relationship at age 12 - 13. It was a major impact in my life, and my society was embarassed and non accepting. It took me a long time to work through that. Five years in Analysis. If you had detailed
records of 11 - 16 year old boys, I think you would be surprised at the level of homosexual experiences. [Kinsey maybe?]

Today I accept my bi sexuality, and don't worry about it.

Otto

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by GerdOEvert

Three or four points.

It has been accepted and agreed in the psychiatric community that all humans are bisexual more or less.

The same community that thought very recently that homosexuality was curable, that humans have no instincts, and that the best way to deal with hermaphrodite children was force them into a sex role because sex roles are only cultural

Really I can think of no branch of medicine which has failed us more than psychology/psychiatry.

I had a homosexual relationship at age 12 - 13. It was a major impact in my life, and my society was embarassed and non accepting. It took me a long time to work through that. Five years in Analysis. If you had detailed
records of 11 - 16 year old boys, I think you would be surprised at the level of homosexual experiences. [Kinsey maybe?]

Kinsey has been discredited as a reliable source of information due to the how the information was gathered. Personally I never had the slightest desire to have any sort of homosexual relationship at any point in my childhood, though I could have been forced into one I'm sure if I came into contact with an abuser. Odds are you had a homosexual experience and are more aware of them because you are bi. Talking to my homosexual friends, almost all had homosexual encounters as teens, even before they thought of themselves as homosexual, while I don't know of any straight males who did the same. Maybe they are all just hiding it, and I can only speak for myself.

[NakedInSeattle]

Just sexual - there's nothing plain about it. We're all different and sexuality takes on different colors, textures, and yes - flavors. For us, we're glad that the world is opening up for all of us. Here in Seattle, there's a place (I'll share the name in private) where all types of sexual turn-ons are accepted, and enjoyed with no judgement.

It's great that there's places like this board where people can share, mentor, and be mentored. Life is too short to not try it all and enjoy our friends and life-mates to the fullest.

[GerdOEvert]

Taking issue with two statements by the poster two above.

1. Kinsey has not been discredited, the research has just advanced. There is a major research insitutite on human sexuality at Indiana University Bloomingt9on Campus. [The Main One] They are a large research effort, and continue to expand Kinsey's Efforts of the 30's and 40's. The whole process of scienctific research is to update findings.

2. Freud is stiall a giant of Psychiatry. I know less about Pyschgology, whice seems to me to be a more practical and data driven field. both have their contributions to make to people and society.

It really bothers me when someone in two paragraphs dismisses Kinsey and Psychiatry without so much as a citation or explanation. Has the poster ever esamined work from the Kinsey Inztitute, or dealt with Psychiatrists in any extended and meaningful way? Or is it just a "blind" opinion.



Otto

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by GerdOEvert

Taking issue with two statements by the poster two above.

1. Kinsey has not been discredited, the research has just advanced. There is a major research insitutite on human sexuality at Indiana University Bloomingt9on Campus. [The Main One] They are a large research effort, and continue to expand Kinsey's Efforts of the 30's and 40's. The whole process of scienctific research is to update findings.

2. Freud is stiall a giant of Psychiatry. I know less about Pyschgology, whice seems to me to be a more practical and data driven field. both have their contributions to make to people and society.

It really bothers me when someone in two paragraphs dismisses Kinsey and Psychiatry without so much as a citation or explanation. Has the poster ever esamined work from the Kinsey Inztitute, or dealt with Psychiatrists in any extended and meaningful way? Or is it just a "blind" opinion.



Otto

I'm a doctor with a strong interest in the evolution of human sexuality. Once in a while I've tried to get scientific on this forum, but most people lack the background to do so here so I just point out based on what I know. You didn't exactly post a scientific article yourself. You posted your beliefs and then expect me to give you a dissertation to prove you incorrect? Is there something about your opinion that makes it stronger than mine and requires no citations?

Freud is stiall a giant of Psychiatry.

His name is well known to the average person on the street, his theories are the foundation for modern psychiatry, but they are also very flawed. They are the foundations as they gave a starting point to look at the problem scientifically, but god help anyone going to a psychiatrist who uses any of Freud's theories.

Out of curiosity, is your bisexual nature caused by having an absent father or controlling mother? Complete BS but thats classical Freduian psychology.

[GerdOEvert]

Doctor:

I thought my first comment was on point, and to the point. I found the response dismissive and just a little better than name calling.

As a matter of fact, Yes to both your questions.

I was born illegitimately in Germany after WWII, and I would decribe my mother is a controlling bi - polar. I was adopted some uyears later in tghe U. S.

I found five years of analysis quite enligntning and helpful.

Of course, the work done in the end of the 19th century will have flaws and need updating and revision. The flaws have been discussed, and there have been revisons.

Frankly, I was quite surprised myself to learn that the Kinsey Institute was and is alive and well at ther Indiana University.

I trhought the comment that Freus and Psychiatry and Psychology had been discredited was too strong a statment. I also thought that Kinsey was "Out of date" was in the same league.

I do have an addition in my experiences in the lifestyle. In the groups we were active in, in an Eatern Metro City, there were many cliques, any male bisexual activity was behind closed doors in closed rooms, Also, by and large the groups were lower middle class with a large number of bi sexual women.
I also found a fair amount of Alpha Male behavior. All those thimgs made it less attractive than it might me. I wondered what a systemic study of the lifestyle membership would yield from both the Kinsey and the Psychiatric Perspective, and wondered how much that had been studied.

Otto

[pacouple4u]

wow my gilr friend and I have tryed the fmf play time she has a very high sex drive and I had another female friend whom I was doing just touching and kissing at times who said she was bi. So I got the 3 of us together and the majic happened, all though it did take a little nudge from me to my girlfriend t o go down on the other girl once she got there she was hooked. We both have a high sex drive so we sre always looking to add to our sex life, we have openly talked about me trying the bi side of male sex. I think I am ready,yeasterday day we were blessed with another couple we are taking a class with the wife side of it. They came to the house and after the normal ice breajer game of strip cards we more to the living room and enjoy some swinger sex. the girls both did their share on each other. My mind was working over time should I reach over and touch his cock while my girl friend was sucking?????? I was so close, I did reach and carress ger tits which put me very close to his cock. the 4 of us decussed the side of male touching and if we were ready for it he said he was that open minded yet but I brought up the point that during a group fling the males will be touching each other st some point just not openly sexually meaning not grabbing each others penises, please give us your ides on this.

[tojoe59]

I found that if you post you are Bi..and I am a man. I get very few hits. but after I chat with someone and then bring up I am ok with being open to a guy. The girls in most cases loves the guy on guy action. I love that we then can all be open to a free flow of bodies on body. It is tuff to say up front " I like to suck dick" I think it is EZ-er to let yourself go and enjoy the moment .

[biplayfulcouple]

long time married, totally straight, married man here with a bisexual wife. we have been in the LS for several years now. we play with couples only and our rules are; "same room, soft swing". i just had my very first bimale oral experience, while we were playing with another m/f couple. to all you straight swinger husbands out there: this is incredible. i dont know where it came from, but this was totally unreal. well it was suggested/promoted by the wives, but it turned us, and both of the wives, on like crazy. i never thought i'd ever do it, much less write about it. ive always been pretty well disgusted by MM contact in gay/bisexual porn. WOW whudda change. my wife and i, have had sex every day, since then. she even SQUIRTED three times last nite, just talking about it, while we were having sex. (shes typically not a squirter). if this is "taking one for the team", for the satisfaction of my wife, then its not that bad; its great!

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by biplayfulcouple

long time married, totally straight, married man here with a bisexual wife. we have been in the LS for several years now. we play with couples only and our rules are; "same room, soft swing". i just had my very first bimale oral experience, while we were playing with another m/f couple. to all you straight swinger husbands out there: this is incredible. i dont know where it came from, but this was totally unreal. well it was suggested/promoted by the wives, but it turned us, and both of the wives, on like crazy. i never thought i'd ever do it, much less write about it. ive always been pretty well disgusted by MM contact in gay/bisexual porn. WOW whudda change. my wife and i, have had sex every day, since then. she even SQUIRTED three times last nite, just talking about it, while we were having sex. (shes typically not a squirter). if this is "taking one for the team", for the satisfaction of my wife, then its not that bad; its great!

If bi-male activity turns you on, then that's great. Enjoy it. But please at least be consistent with regard to the terminology you use in your posts and your profile.

In your very first post on the Board you describe yourself as totally straight. Fine. But in SB Additional Information/Biography you state: "we are both bi"

Your handle here is biplayfulcouple.

Hellll-OOOOooo! There are some things that do not agree here.

Frankly, if you are bi, your wife is bi, or both of you are bi...most of the people on this forum DON'T care!

Really!

The majority of the longtime, dedicated, concerned posters on Swingers Board really don't give a shiat about your sexuality, they just try to provide you with the best information to address your concerns about the lifestyle. And if those of us on this forum don't know that much about an ancillary swing-subset, then we give our best guess. That's it.

So, please participate here, biplayfulcouple, but I think serious posters would appreciate you being honest with how you describe yourself, or yourselves, as it were.

Thrax
P.S. Sorry about the acidic tone, but I'm unusually tired and cranky today, but still...

[biplayfulcouple]

Originally Posted by Thrax

If bi-male activity turns you on, then that's great. Enjoy it. But please at least be consistent with regard to the terminology you use in your posts and your profile.

In your very first post on the Board you describe yourself as totally straight. Fine. But in SB Additional Information/Biography you state: "we are both bi"

Your handle here is biplayfulcouple.

Hellll-OOOOooo! There are some things that do not agree here.

Frankly, if you are bi, your wife is bi, or both of you are bi...most of the people on this forum DON'T care!

Really!

The majority of the longtime, dedicated, concerned posters on Swingers Board really don't give a shiat about your sexuality, they just try to provide you with the best information to address your concerns about the lifestyle. And if those of us on this forum don't know that much about an ancillary swing-subset, then we give our best guess. That's it.

So, please participate here, biplayfulcouple, but I think serious posters would appreciate you being honest with how you describe yourself, or yourselves, as it were.

Thrax
P.S. Sorry about the acidic tone, but I'm unusually tired and cranky today, but still...

excuse me.......i stand corrected in my attempt to try to explain and share this new life experience (we are a long time married couple). based upon my past experience (all straight) this is a phenomenon, to me. other than your post, i really value this forum as a place to learn, share and try to get some understanding of our situation. ok, so if you didnt like what i said; then, im "newly bi", or "formerly totally straight". how's that label suit you? is that good enough? this is not my first rodeo on TSB. i am very active on this board, under a different screen name. i am one of those "longtime, dedicated, concerned posters on TSB, that really really doesnt give a shiat about your sexuality. i chose a new screen name, to post under, so that i might have some anonymity. i already knew that it wasnt very kewl for a man to be "bi" in the lifestyle. now i know that its not kewl to be bi on this forum.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by biplayfulcouple

now i know that its not kewl to be bi on this forum.

It's perfectly kewl to be bi on this forum ...after all, we do have a Bisexuality and Swinging forum and it encompasses male bisexuality as well as female bisexuality.

Thrax did apologize for his tone at the end of his post.

Originally Posted by Thrax

P.S. Sorry about the acidic tone, but I'm unusually tired and cranky today, but still...

When we're tired and cranky things can set us off that normally wouldn't. Since you said you've been in swinging for several years you are well aware of the stigma of male bisexuality...now that you have discovered it's something that you enjoy, you'll need to grow a thick skin and not let certain comments get to you.

When I read your first post, I too noticed the inconsistency but...I read it thinking okay, you were totally straight up until your recent encounter and now, you find MM contact enjoyable...cool!

As often happens here, two people can read the exact same words yet, they read the meaning of them differently...in cases where you're not exactly sure if it might have been a typo or what exactly the original poster meant, I find it's best to ask for clarification before going off on a rant.

So, congratulations on this new found side of yourself, have fun with it!


Teresa

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by biplayfulcouple

now i know that its not kewl to be bi on this forum.

Actually its totally cool to be whatever you are on this forum. Except for that guy who kept talking about sex with dogs, it wasn't totally cool to be a zoophile, but even then the thread was not closed.

Yes there is plenty of stigma with being a bi-male in the lifestyle in general, but since this is a discussion forum, and a mostly anonymous one, it really doesn't matter.