Men: Bi-curious, Bi-sexual, or just plain sexual?

[gsu22]

Sometimes I'd say "just plain sexual"....I don't find men that sexual appealing but sometimes the thought of two masculine men just jacking or sucking together gets me going.....anal sex between men doesn't get me excited.

I'll ALWAYS be more attracted to women though. The way a woman feels, tastes, etc is extremely erotic to me. And sometimes if I haven't had sex with a woman in a while the thought of just jacking or blowing another guy might be an easier to find alternative.

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by BorisNatasha

Labels are for people who can't figure things out as they go along.

It's your life, do with it what you will. Worrying about what the other person thinks, and especially allowing it to influence your actions, will just make you miserable. That is a truism that is hard to accept, but the older you get the easier it is to follow, in our experience.

Labels are for people who get hung up on them.. Personally, I agree whole heartedly with Boris n Natasha's post.. If you are going to be worried what everyone else thinks, then whats the point? Why even swing? Its not like is universally acceptable..

The late Sam Kinison used to tell the joke that every american male somewhere deep in thier psyche was a bi/homosexual fantasy, and he wanted it out..

The stigma of Bi sexual contact between guys, came from the late 70's early 80's when the whole AIDS epidemic started, panic spread and what was already on the fringes was pushed all the way out of bounds. Everyone became afraid that if they played with a bi guy that they would catch something.. A large part of that still exists today.

I really didnt want to get on a soapbox here, but, a profile I saw recently brought it all the way home and made me think.. they put on thier profile that they only played bareback ,and thier reasoning is, if you are going to do oral, without dental dams and condoms, then whats the point in bothering to cover up for intercourse.. you have already exchanged body fluids.. (precum, and the ever tasty pussy juice) .. lets face a fact that most arent willing to confront, Even if a woman or for that matter a guy, given the threads topic, blows a guy, and makes him cum, even if they spit, instead of swallow, they are still recieving the fluids..

Sexuality is what it is, labels are for people that need to hide behind them.. if placed in the right erotic situation, I freely admit, I don't know what would happen..

The only label I have ever placed on myself and the one my wife agrees with as well is we are TRY sexual.. Who knows what we might in an unguarded moment give it a TRY, so long as its not hurting anyone, who cares

[DecaturAreaCpl]

I cannot for the life of me understand why this topic gets so much attention. Are men really that afraid that giving/getting a blowjob in the during group sex (or any other time) will make them wake up the next day and want to get married to the guy next door? It's ok to screw somebody else's wife, and ok for another guy to screw your wife, because "it's only sex". Well..?

[MikeandDawn]

I've never really considered myself "bi-sexual", even though I've participated in activities which could commonly be associated with bi- or homosexuality. I really never could stomach the thought of me and another guy having a sexual relationship alone, by ourselves, but when I've been with Dawn and our male partners, I've almost always gone down on her while the other M was inside her. As a result, I've frequently licked the shaft and head of the other M's penis, licked and played with his balls, have re-inserted him after he's popped out of her, sometimes giving him a few strokes before putting it back in, and have licked my fair share of semen from Dawn. I've also been snowballed by Dawn many times after she's given the other guy head and watched her snowball a couple of our M partners with my sperm. I've helped Dawn wash our M partners in the shower and have been washed by Dawn and our partners. And at Dawn's urging, a couple of us have engaged in mutual felatio several times while Dawn watched and masturbated. The way I "rationalize" it (for lack of a better word) is I'm not trying to get the other guy off, we're just helping Dawn to get off. But beyond that, I've had no interest in the other males' bodies. Dawn likes to lick and bite nipples, I won't go there. I love having it done by Dawn, but I won't do it to a male. I also leave all the anal play to Dawn when she feels like it, I won't go there either.

HTH.

[friskyous]

Lots of grey area to be sure.. In my preadolescence I occasionally engaged in guy guy (boy boy?) contact to include exchanging of oral favors (you do it awhile and I'll do it for awhile) and I've often wondered how commonplace that actually is. How many guys have explored that same area but would sooner die than admit it?
Sex is sex in my opinion... exploring is exploring... and if it feels good.. well just go with the flow. if you've never tried it, how do you know you don't like it?
As a teenager I was actually forced to have sex with this older guy from school. I just thought it was cool to be hanging with him.. we went for a ride and parked in a secluded spot and he got me high.. my first real buzz so I was pretty out of it when he made his move. I was afraid and tried to resist but basically gave in to fear and submitted. I gave him head and he returned the favor so in essence, my first official blow job was from a guy. Was I traumatized? no.. was it awful? no.. in fact when he blew me, it felt damn good.
So am I gay?... nooooo, I loooove women... am I bi? I don't think so but I suppose that goes to perception .. would I give a guy head or lick and suck his privates if the situation were right? yeah, probably ( if he just pulled it out of my wife.. oooh yeah). Would I kiss him? no... you figure it out.. I'm not much for labels.

[tittietwister]

Originally Posted by MikeandDawn

I've almost always gone down on her while the other M was inside her. As a result, I've frequently licked the shaft and head of the other M's penis, licked and played with his balls, have re-inserted him after he's popped out of her, sometimes giving him a few strokes before putting it back in, and have licked my fair share of semen from Dawn. I've also been snowballed by Dawn many times after she's given the other guy head and watched her snowball a couple of our M partners with my sperm.

I consider that my ultimate fantasy but the last time I shared it with a couple the man terminated the relationship. I wasn't suggesting that they do it with us - just sharing fantasies, many of which will remain fantasies forever. Now I have learned to censor my discussion of fantasies - except with the great people on this board!

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by tittietwister

I consider that my ultimate fantasy but the last time I shared it with a couple the man terminated the relationship. I wasn't suggesting that they do it with us - just sharing fantasies, many of which will remain fantasies forever. Now I have learned to censor my discussion of fantasies - except with the great people on this board!

He terminated the relationship because he thought you were "cruising" him..

As far as censoring your fantasies, for fear of what they are gonna think.. I my honest opinion, I would rather hear that up front..

knowing and not knowing..

Which is better, if you are headed toward an intimate moments?

[MikeandDawn]

Originally Posted by tittietwister

I consider that my ultimate fantasy but the last time I shared it with a couple the man terminated the relationship. I wasn't suggesting that they do it with us - just sharing fantasies, many of which will remain fantasies forever. Now I have learned to censor my discussion of fantasies - except with the great people on this board!

Perhaps you need to bring it up like I do. I don't discuss it before hand, but the first time we are with a new M partner, while he's inside Dawn, I'll ask them if they want me to go down on her. Of course, she ALWAYS says yes, and the other guy agrees just to go with the flow and keep the motion going. Once I'm down there, I've yet to have any of them complain. The couple of ones who have gone down on Dawn while I'm inside her didn't seem to have any problems with their tongues touching me. Both did so without even asking, which was fine with us. Our last long term partner (one of the two with whom I've 69'ed with in front of Dawn) actually sucked me for a few seconds after I popped out of her, before putting it back in. It drove Dawn crazy wild! But I've never been able to cum with a guy sucking me. I don't think it's a issue about guys, because as well as Dawn sucks, I rarely cum with her sucking me, either. I usually have to masturbate into her mouth. But our last partner let loose in my mouth one of the the last times we were together, and I snowballed Dawn, giving her the entire load. It didn't taste too bad, I just didn't want to swallow it.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by DecaturAreaCpl

I cannot for the life of me understand why this topic gets so much attention. Are men really that afraid that giving/getting a blowjob in the during group sex (or any other time) will make them wake up the next day and want to get married to the guy next door? It's ok to screw somebody else's wife, and ok for another guy to screw your wife, because "it's only sex". Well..?

You know its posts like this which get the whole male bisexually threads to go down hill.

Let me explain this to you as a straight male. Its got nothing to do with fear, its that we don't WANT a guy to give us a BJ nor do we want to blow a guy. Imagine a 95 year old woman with rotted teeth, bad breath and open herpes sores. Thats about how attractive another man is to me for sex. Its how I'm wired, period. Its not homophobia, I'm not afraid of turning gay, I'm not repressing anything, it just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. Sex is chemical and mental. Whatever chemicals and brain wiring that makes some men enjoy or at least not mind other men having oral sex with them is not present in me.

Originally Posted by MikeandDawn

Perhaps you need to bring it up like I do. I don't discuss it before hand, but the first time we are with a new M partner, while he's inside Dawn, I'll ask them if they want me to go down on her. Of course, she ALWAYS says yes, and the other guy agrees just to go with the flow and keep the motion going.

Nothing like trying to trick a guy into a bisexual activity. I'd have said no.

[funcpl4life]

Originally Posted by Chicup

You know its posts like this which get the whole male bisexually threads to go down hill.

Let me explain this to you as a straight male. Its got nothing to do with fear, its that we don't WANT a guy to give us a BJ nor do we want to blow a guy. *snip ewww*

Bi people cannot really expect other people to respect how they are until they respect other people's preferences.

I'm not a fan of homophobia or "you're only not bi because you haven't tried".

I am what I am and that all that I am.
Mr FC4L

[tribbles]

I think I'd have to ask.....are there males who are afraid?

Sure, some of you are truly not wired to accept anything from another guy but are there others who could but won't due to fear?

I know, I've met st8 females who consider the idea of being penetrated by a male and having their clit licked by another female something to try even tho they have no attraction to other females.

Others totally shy away from any touch at all.

Are some just totally st8, while others are fearful?

[MikeandDawn]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Nothing like trying to trick a guy into a bisexual activity. I'd have said no.

I'd like to know how you think this is trying to "trick" someone. I do ask. It's just not a topic that is discussed before hand. As you said, you would say no, and that should be respected. But no one we've been with has ever said no. So just how were they "tricked"?

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by olycouple

So, I've been reading around on this site, adding my two cents very rarely because it always seems what I would say has already been said (gosh you guys are good!). But, now I have a true "wondering". I usually only see the women on Swing Lifestyle and other "friend finder" sites listed as bi, bi-curious, bi-comfortable, etc. I've only seen a few men. In the world of swinging, does the bi-sexuality rest on the female? Is that the connection between most couples? I ask this in all earnestness (and ignorance). I am what I would call bi-curious. Recently, however, I heard an interview on NPR with Micheal Stipes of R.E.M. He brought up an interesting thought when asked about his sexual orientation. He said he saw sexuality as a continuum and that all of us moved around on that continuum...the point being that none of us are really "straight" "bi" or "gay/lesbian". It was an interesting, gentle, intellectual attack on labeling human sexuality. I find that hot. I find the idea of sexuality to be fluid, but so many men seem absolutely closed to the idea of any cross-over activity between males. Am I missing something? Or is there a taboo against this in the swinging world? Just wondering. Maybe I should make this a poll.

Mrs. Oly

Yes, there is a taboo against male bisexuality in swinging just like in general society. The topic of male bisexuality starts arguments here and gets more "warnings" issued by moderators than virtually any other topic. Even amongst "open-minded" swingers it seems that female bisexuality is cool, even almost expected, but male bisexuality is gross and many still won't contact a couple where the husband is listed as "bisexual" or "bi-curious". We know some couples in which the male is bisexual and they all say that they list him as "straight" on their profile and then play it by ear if another couple they meet has a bisexual male in it. Bisexual play is not a prerequisite for play with them and he will in no way make an unwanted advance toward another man. In fact in our experience, bisexual men seem to be more respectful of straight men's boundaries than many bisexual women are with straight women's boundaries.

That said, I personally am not bisexual, but I have to admit that on occasion there has been a certain guy that in a certain situation that if all the stars and planets lined-up correctly I could possibly have dabbled in it. So IF I had to label myself it would be "simply sexual". Mrs. WS labels herself as such since she is bi, but her strike zone with women is much narrower than it is with men.

Mr. WS

[Vjklander]

I think the disease excuse is just a cop-out. We are nudists, so naked people of any persuasion doesn't make any difference. I'm not against M-M play, I just don't find it arousing to me. Just like I'm not aroused by all F, F-F, M-F etc. When playing MFMF or MFM etc, incidental contact is no harm, no foul.

Originally Posted by theflamekasters

as a str8 man, i think it is a big double standard. Why is it of for 2 woman but not ok for two men. I dont care who does what to whom. If that is your deal. I think that part of the problem is people are scared of diesese's. We know several cpls that have told us that, they are worried about std's with in bi men. But to be in the lifestyle you have to be a rather open sexually. Not saying i want to sword fight, but a naked man touching me by mistake or a dude walkin aorund naked sure dont bother me

[pompanoteo]

AOL.com - Netscape-----"Well I can't talk for anybody else! But I now know,after serveral years of exaimining what being "Bi" is all about?----"I Am A Bi Man! I know this because I'v looked it from many directions! #1--"If I could suck my own cock"---"I would"!!! "All Day LONG!! I'v tasted and eaten my own cum and I "LOVE IT"!! "Its a Big Turn On"! 'With all that said' I desided to seek out others,couples for now,that say they are bi in there ads!---"But to no Evale!!! I don't know if everybodys lying or just afraid to act on there desirers,but I can't find "ONE BIG THICK COCK" to suck 'Anywhere'!!! "Whats a guy gota do to get some 'Big COCK???