Bi or not?

[Bama0468]

I ask this in the wave of male male play and was curious, At what point does it cease being play and cross over to Bi. So I made this in a form of a poll to give anonymity, this is NOT to spark anger or sniping, just to see what the consensus is

[tangyspecial]

I believe you are bi when you are attracted to and capable of developing feelings for the same sex. You can be a virgin and still know you are straight/ gay/ bi.

I knew I was bi before I even knew what bi was.

[two42lovers]

Fondling? The answer has to do with why you touch. Anytime two men (or women) touch each other for the purpose of one or the other's sexual gratification, it's bisexual.

[N&G]

I believe that sexuality is a matter of declaration and has little to do with sex. At some point in life you define to yourself what you are sexually and only you can decide what that definiton is. If a homosexual is celibate does that make them straight?

[Bama0468]

Am a lil surprised that a subject that got such an open minded debate in another thread ( or at least touched on) can recieve so many views and so few poll answers. it would seem to me that MM play being so welcomed that at the least a inquiry as to where a boundry is or maybe would be met just as openly.

[cur_cpl_n_chey]

I had never even discussed my being bicurious until my husband came to me about his curiosity(truthfully I wasn't really surprised) I have known I had these feeling for years ever since I found my brothers playboy and spent hrs looking at the pics(tee hee)
His theory is if he knows the best way to pleasure himself wouldn't it be logical he would know the best or how to please another man. He states though he could never be with just a man I would have to be there also. I have looked for bi males and bi females or even bicpls for us in the past.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by two42lovers

Fondling? The answer has to do with why you touch. Anytime two men (or women) touch each other for the purpose of one or the other's sexual gratification, it's bisexual.

Originally Posted by tangyspecial

I believe you are bi when you are attracted to and capable of developing feelings for the same sex. You can be a virgin and still know you are straight/ gay/ bi.

I knew I was bi before I even knew what bi was.

I think the above two posts sum up my answer as well. There are many people who perform what may be considered as bi/homosexual actions that aren't actually BI or homosexual. Especially in this lifestyle and nowadays with bisexuality amongst women becoming almost a fad. The actions you do don't make you bi. Just because you willingly fondle or whatever another person of the same sex doesn't make you bi. But the thought behind it does.

Originally Posted by Bama0468

Am a lil surprised that a subject that got such an open minded debate in another thread ( or at least touched on) can recieve so many views and so few poll answers. .

Dude! Your post has been up for like 3 hours. Learn some Patience! (says the redhead).

[Bama0468]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Dude! Your post has been up for like 3 hours. Learn some Patience! (says the redhead).

LOL, it had 56 views at the time and 5 votes, I was just saying I was surprised is all. this is becoming quite interesting to me though, or is fascinating more the word..it would appear that of those posting, and I may be misreading ( have a bit of a migraine going so I am sorry if I come across wrong) but that for the most part it is a thought process and no matter the action chosen, it could still be embibed upon and one could still consider ones self straight.

[graygo98]

Well, the reason I did not initially participate in the poll is because none of the answers worked for me and "other" seems so unilluminating.

I agree with what several others have said. The real question is not what physical acts you might do but rather whether, and to what degree, you are attracted to members of the same sex. Although I bet they are not common, I have read of full-blown male prostitutes who do all the things you list but remain totally heterosexual. Its just a way to make some money for them. Just like with a lesbian prostitute who has sex with men, which is apparently a bit more common.

Speaking of common, you mentioned a "wave of male male play" and that "it would seem to me that MM play being so welcomed". Are you really seeing these trends? Its sure not that way in the lifestyle up here, where MM still remains "the love that dare not say its name."

[Bama0468]

what got me wondering the most was this post and its responses
A turn on for me

but I have seen in other places more open thought and even though there are some that say they are way to straight, and even some that get beligerant about the subject, it would seem that a more open atmosphere than not exists for this topic of conversation, one where we can participate more as adults rather than ( and I hate to make this leap, but have seen it) Hate mongers.

[two42lovers]

As always, it comes down to how we understand the words. Seems most people agree what the term "bisexual" means, but the debate begins when we try to decide what being means.

Can one be bisexual and not act upon it? We'd say yes, but reasonable people might say you only are what you actually do - not what you only intend or dream. Can a person be something, despite actions to the contrary?

Guess it depends on whether you use the term bisexual to refer to a mental disposition or a concrete act (or either or perhaps both.) If a guy has sex with another guy, even if he is not turned on, it seems like you'd have to say he is/has been bi... same way someone who hates to prepare dinner, but sometimes does it anyway, is a cook. May not like it, but he does it, so he is.

[good times]

I too will have to say that I think that it is all about the way you feel towards the same sex and I believe ones actions do not necessarily define them as bi or not.

I also wondered where you had seen this ground swell of acceptance as I haven't seen that myself.

[jon&roberta]

To me touching another man may be considered a bi-sexual act - but when a man goes all the way -to a blow job - that is totally bi-sexual.

[socolais]

I didn't vote because I still haven't completely figured it out for myself. Generally, I figure it's not the actions, it's the thoughts and feelings behind the actions that really make the difference.

But is it a simple three-state situation (hetero, bi, homo), or is it possible to have many positions between hetero and homo? And just as an observation, it appears to be unmanly to be bi-curious.

[Additude]

Bama0468 Wrote:
Am a lil surprised that a subject that got such an open minded debate in another thread ( or at least touched on) can recieve so many views and so few poll answers. it would seem to me that MM play being so welcomed that at the least a inquiry as to where a boundry is or maybe would be met just as openly.

I think it's a hard poll to answer.

For one thing, there isn't an "Any of the Above" selection and I think the answers should be in decending order so as to display levels of intamacy. Like level 1 (Touching), level 2 (Fondling), level 3 (Groping), level 4 (Kissing), level 5 (Anal Play), level 6 (Penetration), (Any of the Above).

But thats just my order of things, for someone else they may have a different order.

Plus your question is confusing. "At what point does it cease being play and cross over to Bi."

I would think any of those "Plays" makes it "Bi". A "cross over" does not exist. How can a person say, "I touched and fondeled his cock, but I'm not Bi"...thats just denial, there is a certain amount of Bi involved with that action.

Besides, people are Bi mentally, in their thoughts and emotions. Bi is not a physical attribute. It's a mental attribute.