Bi or not?

[Tia Vampire]

I voted penatration because of the choices that were provided, but I really think that if you are attracted to the same sex and enjoy having sex with the same sex person rather you are a man or woman, you are bi.

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

Was it this one Spoo?

It's the one I remember referring to the topic.

Thanks for digging up that thread, Two4you. I found it very informative.

I remain, at present, in the "bi curious" stage. For me this means that I find myself attracted to other women, and would like to further explore those feelings. To date, I've tried and enjoyed pretty much everything up to performing oral on another woman. If/when those training wheels ever come off, I figure I'll know for sure what side of the fence I'm on.

So I submit that being bi means you enjoy playing with the same sex as much (or almost as much) as the other. Or, as others have said, not the activity, but the intent/feeling behind it.

=)

[two42lovers]

I don't think it is something you do - in fact, you can have sex with someone of the same sex without being bisexual.

I agree with you, because among other things one could be forced, or enticed with reward, but isn't this a slippery slope? If men who are actively into same-sex play of one kind or another list themselves on Swing Lifestyle, can they say they're straight? If being bi or straight means whatever you deem it to be, how does declaring yourself either way help anybody find the playmates they are interested in? (Unless they want to deceive straight people who prefer not to play with bisexuals, but that's not what I'm asking.) It seems more useful to think of it as different approaches to bisexuality - i.e. the kind of sexual acts you like. Every kind of sexual touching is bi, hands, mouth, genitals. Different bi men are into different things, but everything done between two men to give or receive sexual pleasure is bi. (Assuming they also like sex with women.)

[50sLady]

When we first started in the lifestyle, I said I was straight and would never play with a woman...no way..no how. I don't remember how long that attitude lasted, but it became obvious to me that some girl-girl action added to the party. So, I opened myself to the idea.

My feeling is that I love my female body, so why should I have a problem touching other bodies just like mine? Since then, I have done all the "bi" stuff, and I found that I only really enjoyed it if I loved the woman as a girlfriend. I am lucky to have made true girlfriends of a couple of the wives of our swinger couple friends. We do non-swinger things like shopping, etc....just us girls. We did 3somes and 4somes with our husbands when we were in swinger mode.

I listed myself as bisexual, as I did do what bisexual women do, but I found that most of the women in new couples we met did not move me to play. I was more likely to be attracted to and want to play with the male.

I am straight but I sometimes take curves.

[Chris&Amelia]

I'm a little confused at the need for labels in the first place. You are what you are. Why must you define yourself like you're filling out a form? "Let's see... fondling.. yup... (ticks box).... kissing... yup.... (ticks box)..."

Bama, please don't think I'm busting on you. I've been a little bewildered at the Are You A Swinger? thread for the same reason.

I picked "Fondling", only because, in my opinion, it was the best option. But it really isn't... hell, if you go all the way to penetration, that doesn't necessarily make you bi. Maybe he was simply exploring it and, well, what do you know... he doesn't like it after all. Does the fact that he penetrated another man / was penetrated by another man mean that he's bi for the rest of his life? Should we tattoo a scarlet "B" to his forehead?

There's an old joke that goes "Geeze, just because I've sucked another guy's cock/been fucked in the ass/(insert act here) doesn't mean I'm GAY!" But, you know, there's a kernal of truth there.

[DecaturAreaCpl]

When you start defining purely recreational sex acts in terms of an "ality", then you have to go back and redefine the whole swinging experience. The premise of swinging is that our sexual experiences are not expressions of emotional connection, but rather stand apart from emotional/relational sex in that they are intended as physical and sensual gratification only. Extending that concept to same sex situations removes the need to define or categorize them. Why wouldn't same sex involvement in a swinging context be as dispassionate as our heterosexual experiences, and therefore not have to be defended or justified?