Guys: What WOULD interest you in BI play?

[ShellyM]

On the subject of bi males. Well, you are who you are; like some women are bisexual so are some men. I'm not getting into the right or wrong of this, we are who we are. In the Swing Lifestyle forums they were talking about this recently as well. Yes, it is a double standard I suppose. But like Spoo said, it is not the only double standard in swinging or in society for that matter. Hey, there are parties that we aren't invited to because I am a straight woman and they are looking for bi females. Does that make them wrong? Not in my opinion it does not. They are just avoiding an uncomfortable situation for all. I see nothing wrong in that. The fact is this, most of our society is simply uncomfortable with seeing 2 men having sex. And since we are a free society it is the people's right to not see it if they don't want to. You can get into debate over is that right or wrong. Do I think bi men are wrong? No. But that doesn't mean I'm buying Brokeback Mountain either. Club owners are business people. If they wish to be successful business owners they HAVE to cater to the wishes of their patrons. If they do not do this people go to other clubs, no one pays dues or door fees and the club is closed in 6 months. Simple as that; I don't think club owners are being assholes, they are simply going with what their patrons think. If there were a huge wave of anti female bisexuality in the lifestyle for example the same would start applying at the clubs in regards to female/female play. What I told the person is in regards to male bisexuality its probably best to do online searches where you can specifically look for other couples/singles where the man is bisexual in nature.

[magnum]

Originally Posted by Cerberus

I can say truthfully i would not want to be a TOP. My interest is only in being a bottom so i could feel what a woman feel when a guy cums. I would also be interested in giving head to see what a woman goes through......

My massage therapist rims me sometimes and man alive does it send me through the roof

Is your message therapist male?

I have no interest in any Bi play...but to each there own. it was hard enough getting use to the male male closeness thing when I started swing...

[FunSeeker]

I have enjoyed bi-play. Am i fully bi? The jury's still out on that one. I haven't really explored swinging or bisexuality enough to say one way or the other. I do know, however, that i am most attracted and sexually interested in girls, but I have enjoyed oral and some rimming on a few guys.

[nicerrtxcple]

i have thought about it just don't know if i would.

[gsu22]

I'm similar to funseeker....I have enjoyed some limited bi-play..all with couples. I have and will continue to absoulutely love women 100%....there's just this feeling I get sometimes about wanting to do some M/M activity while the female is present. Never been into anal....strictly oral/handjob type activities. And of course the male has to be masculine like me....to each their own and for me it just turns me on sometimes...

But I also agree with an earlier post that online searches have been the best in terms of finding a bi couple where the male is bi.....in the few clubs I've been to it's either been frowned upon when brought up by me to the couple or obviously just not allowed at all in the club, which I fully expected. I just try to be honest about my interests....

And to answer the question...in bi play my ultimate fantasy has always been to find a bi couple to play with on a semi regular basis and when the time comes that the female might not be around or available, the couple would be "ok" with me and the male getting together to get off either orally or just jerking...

[Cpl2share]

As we have said many times over, Mrs. Cpl in bi-friendly (HOT!) and I am not at all interested in men. Neither of us has any interest in watching M/M play. So, we would not choose to frequent a club/ tavern or any other venue where it was "encouraged". I would recommend to those who are militant bisexual or homosexual males that feel slighted by the "double standard" & "hypocrisy" that you immediately give usa lesson in how it feels to be banned and open your own bi/homosexual club and see how long it lasts. If M/M play were as prevelent as it appears on some of these threads we would find that a majority of clubs were bi male friendly.

[Cerberus]

no my massage therapist is female

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by Cpl2share

If M/M play were as prevelent as it appears on some of these threads we would find that a majority of clubs were bi male friendly.

Not necessarily. We know many couples that have a bisexual husband and their profiles say "straight" and they don't let their bisexuality be known to anyone unless there is a strong sense of possible play with another man. This double standard is exactly the reason why they keep it under wraps publicly.

[screaminggood]

Hi Cerberus,

Would you be willing to give a referral to your massage therapist? We've always wanted to go to one but were always concerned about how to get a good one in the Dallas area. I would love to give my husband a massage with a "happy rimming ending" for Valentine's. You can email me directly at snorkmailbox-amail@yahoo.com if you don't want to do it over the entire internet, or if you want to ascertain that I really am a legit female part of a couple who won't harm your massage therapist. Thanks!

And I apologize to everyone else for using this thread for my personal note.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

Not necessarily. We know many couples that have a bisexual husband and their profiles say "straight" and they don't let their bisexuality be known to anyone unless there is a strong sense of possible play with another man. This double standard is exactly the reason why they keep it under wraps publicly.

This makes my point...

Their refusal to come out of the closet (at least on a swing site) perpetuates the problem. It is not our problem (straight men) that bisexual men appear to be the exception rather than the rule. It is not our job to work towards their acceptance.

I don't say this to discourage them, but to encourage them. I think the greatest "sin" in life is to not be true to yourself.

Spoomonkey

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

Not necessarily. We know many couples that have a bisexual husband and their profiles say "straight" and they don't let their bisexuality be known to anyone unless there is a strong sense of possible play with another man. This double standard is exactly the reason why they keep it under wraps publicly.

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

This makes my point...

Their refusal to come out of the closet (at least on a swing site) perpetuates the problem. It is not our problem (straight men) that bisexual men appear to be the exception rather than the rule. It is not our job to work towards their acceptance.

I don't say this to discourage them, but to encourage them. I think the greatest "sin" in life is to not be true to yourself.

Spoomonkey

Spoo ~ You know I think you're the greatest, but I've got to ask you to think more about what you said.

Imagine this Board was a "vanilla sex" forum and the topic of the thread was "What WOULD interest you in swinging?" and a vanilla person said this about swingers:

"Their refusal to come out of the closet (at least on a sex dicussion site) perpetuates the problem. It is not our problem (vanillas) that swingers appear to be the exception rather than the rule. It is not our job to work towards their acceptance.

I don't say this to discourage them, but to encourage them. I think the greatest "sin" in life is to not be true to yourself."


The majority of swingers on SB believe what they do behind closed doors is their business, it's private, and prefer not to make it known publicly that they swing. I can understand why bisexual men make this same choice.

LM

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

The majority of swingers on SB believe what they do behind closed doors is their business, it's private, and prefer not to make it known publicly that they swing. I can understand why bisexual men make this same choice.

I agree with you. What we choose to do and what we choose to keep private are very personal choices.

And since most swingers do choose to keep their choices personal, few of us go to vanilla boards and try to convince people that swinging should be universally approved; that anyone who does not accept swinging has a double standard (vanillas have sex, after all) or are hypocrites.

I choose to keep my swinging a secret from many people - and as such, I am not looking for a wider acceptance. If I did want swinging to be better accepted, it would be my responsibility to make that happen. I would not rely on vanillas to do it for me...

So, while I appreciate the point you are making, I am not sure that I see the parallel.

Spoomonkey

PS - I think you are pretty darn great, too

[lovinher]

When you think about what has been beat into ours heads since childhood, the secrecy and unacceptance in society isn't all that hard to understand and is understandable. As young boys, we are taught either directly or indirectly that men don't play with men, period. That a man is less of a man who does. By letting another man have control (sex) with you, you submit to him and being dominated during sex is against our nature. You are somehow less manly. Only girly or less manly men want to have sex with other men. These are the things that are ingrained in us (men and women). I don't think women are or were subjected to this nearly as much and hence the acceptance of female bi play.

I believe that if this sigma was somehow eliminated, you would see a whole lot more male bi acceptance, and a whole lot more male bi play. I don't see that happening.

Of course there many other reasons why things are the way they are but I believe this to be the root of it even though most would not admit it. To some this may seem over simplified and obvious but it hasn't been mentioned.

I don't believe bi or gay men are less manly. But there was a time I did and male on male play still makes me uncomfortable for reasons I can't fully explain other than it's tough to erase years of what you have been exposed to.

[VegasLee]

New thread coming in two weeks. Hope the horses can make it.

[hamlet]

In the course of our swinging experience, we've been to over 30 clubs, in seven different countries, and we've yet to see a single instance of M/M play. And that seems a little sad: swing clubs are sanctuaries for those of us who enjoy a kind of sexuality that we can't practice openly in the outside world, but they don't provide the same kind of refuge for bisexual men. On the other hand, I can see the counter-argument to what I've just said--i.e., someone might ask, "Well, if you think clubs should be a refuge for all kinds of consensual adult sexual practices, would you be okay about allowing people to urinate/defecate on each other?" And I'd honestly have to answer "no" to that: I surely don't condemn people who do that kind of thing, but I really don't want to see it. I don't especially want to watch M/M play either, but it wouldn't bother me to know it was going on at a club I was attending. I suppose it all comes down to personal tastes/comfort levels.

But, to respond to the original thread: the only thing that would make me interested in bi play myself would be a sex change operation, because "bi play" would then mean playing with women.