Guys: What WOULD interest you in BI play?

[good42]

We are both gently Bi and I (Mr) enjoy oral and hand play with our male playmates - like a few others have said, it's what rings your bell and each to his / her own

good42

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by crazycatz

Not to be cheeky, but there are lots of dictionaries for that purpose.

Yes there are - which is why I am so surprised by your misuse of the word. Your point has nothing to do with hypocrisy - which was my point... Not to be cheeky, of course

One such definition would be: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion or a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.

When you accuse people of hypocrisy, it is probably best if you understand the word. This is one of those words that gets tossed around for effect, but is often done so poorly, showing the user to be weak in their command of vocabulary. And the misuse of language for attempted shock value is a pet peeve of mine. It may SEEM that you are making a strong point with a strong word, but if you do not use the word correctly, it loses its punch.

Nothing that you said above evidences hypocrisy. In fact, by definition, the people who commonly discuss these issues have been remarkably consistent in their views. No one has claimed that their viewpoint is "right" (false appearance of virtue*) just that they are entitled to their opinion. A hypocrite would be one who stated that they were against male bisexuality, but then practiced it themselves despite their words to the contrary.

So - can we please drop the false accusation of hypocrisy? It does not advance the discussion.

Spoomonkey

*This might be a loose example, since it may be misplaced virtue, but not actually false virtue.

[mackie44]

There's also the interesting swingers phenomenon of "semi-bi" wherein straight-identifying men will interact with each other in terms of touching each other or fondling each other without actually having sex with each other. The act of sexual penetration is reserved only for the woman/women but there is stimulation between the men. Have any of you encountered this in your swinging experiences?

[Cerberus]

Originally Posted by mackie44

There's also the interesting swingers phenomenon of "semi-bi" wherein straight-identifying men will interact with each other in terms of touching each other or fondling each other without actually having sex with each other. The act of sexual penetration is reserved only for the woman/women but there is stimulation between the men. Have any of you encountered this in your swinging experiences?

Yes actually I rubbed my Best Friends penis against my SO vagina when she was on top of him....funny thing i didnt think anything about it neither did he. It wasnt until the next day did we realize and talk about it...

[idahodude]

Originally Posted by funcpl4life

I dislike pushy or presumptive (the only reason you don't like it is because you haven't tried it) bi people *exactly* as much as I dislike homophobes.

Except for those people who are pushy or presumptive, to each with their own. There is no reason to be nasty about your dislike for being bisexual or gay. Each person should just live their life and not be ashamed about their choices.

I just came out to my wife and most of her family, and despite what i would have thought, they were very supportive. I would love to be a bottom for the same reasons as the OP.

[mackie44]

Cerberus,

I think that's interesting and encouraging. I believe that straight-identifying men should be able to touch each other without a huge issue being made of it. Some people tend to be very analytical of male sexuality, and are very determined to categorize or suggest a hidden motive behind any contact whatsoever.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by mackie44

I believe that straight-identifying men should be able to touch each other without a huge issue being made of it. Some people tend to be very analytical of male sexuality, and are very determined to categorize or suggest a hidden motive behind any contact whatsoever.

If a male playmate touched me in the way described above, it would be a turn off and make me very uncomfortable. Of course, our experience has been that sexual contact is played on an "ask first" basis - and while I have never had a man ask if he could touch me, I am sure that if one did they would respect my wishes and not do so. If they did not - either they touched me without asking or touched me "anyway" - it would create a very uncomfortable situation; no different than a man touching a woman uninvited or any form of unwanted contact.

Regardless of whatever category it is put in, it would be unwelcome with many straight men. As long as you operate "above the boards" and ask first and respect "no" (which is the way to play in ALL parts of swinging) then you should be fine.

But don't delude yourself. Such acts are going to be interpreted by most heterosexual men as bisexual play. And there is nothing close-minded or homophobic about that.

Spoomonkey

[crazycatz]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Yes there are - which is why I am so surprised by your misuse of the word. Your point has nothing to do with hypocrisy - which was my point... Not to be cheeky, of course

One such definition would be: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion or a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.

When you accuse people of hypocrisy, it is probably best if you understand the word. This is one of those words that gets tossed around for effect, but is often done so poorly, showing the user to be weak in their command of vocabulary. And the misuse of language for attempted shock value is a pet peeve of mine. It may SEEM that you are making a strong point with a strong word, but if you do not use the word correctly, it loses its punch.

Nothing that you said above evidences hypocrisy. In fact, by definition, the people who commonly discuss these issues have been remarkably consistent in their views. No one has claimed that their viewpoint is "right" (false appearance of virtue*) just that they are entitled to their opinion. A hypocrite would be one who stated that they were against male bisexuality, but then practiced it themselves despite their words to the contrary.

So - can we please drop the false accusation of hypocrisy? It does not advance the discussion.

Spoomonkey

*This might be a loose example, since it may be misplaced virtue, but not actually false virtue.

Talk about condescending!

It is a form of hypocrisy because the rules of the game are no means no and whatever floats your boat (i.e. mightnt be to everyone's taste but all tastes treated with respect, as long as they are legal and consensual). You re-iterate this in your post below.
If this is the case, what's wrong with bimale activity at clubs? You say it's down to comfort. Who's comfort?

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by crazycatz

It is a form of hypocrisy because the rules of the game are no means no and whatever floats your boat (i.e. mightnt be to everyone's taste but all tastes treated with respect, as long as they are legal and consensual). You re-iterate this in your post below.

I know it will require you to actually look up the word, but can you please explain to me how this is hypocritical?

Never mind... I know that you won't bother...

It is, in no form, hypocrisy.

Originally Posted by crazycatz

If this is the case, what's wrong with bimale activity at clubs? You say it's down to comfort. Who's comfort?

What is wrong with it? Well, at many clubs it is against the rules. Who's rules? The club owners, established for whatever reasons they felt they needed to be established. One of those reasons is likely - as has been posted here numerous times - the activities of bisexual men would be a "turn off" to many club goers.

And since club owners open their clubs with the intention of making money they have to consider what such activity would do to their clientèle. In most cases, it would affect it in a negative way. In fact, we have a local example of that which I won't go into.

Now - do I personally have a problem with such activity? No - not if it is private. If two men privately go up to a room, I could care less. And before you claim that I have a "double standard" (which you might, if you stopped trying to awkwardly force the word "hypocrite" into the conversation) I am actually not a big fan of public sex period.

But, I do not own a club, nor do I make the rules. If I did, I would likely want to run it successfully, which would mean catering to the sensitivities of the majority. So, as to "who's comfort"? That would be the majority of swingers. If two men kissing on the dance floor cost me paying customers, I would put a stop to it and establish rules against it.

As I have said in other threads, it is not the responsibility of the heterosexuals to change the prevailing opinion, it is the responsibility of the "silent majority" of bisexual males. And the absolutely worst way to do that is to be militant - i.e. storm a swingers board and call us all hypocrites.

I'll ask you a question, Crazy. If the swing-world were to change what would it look like to you? How would male bisexuality be integrated into our swing clubs while still respecting the comfort of heterosexual men?

Spoomonkey

[bill&sabrina]

Bi males aren't the only group that make swing club patrons uncomfortable. They are however the only group that is banned.

Bill

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by bill&sabrina

Bi males aren't the only group that make swing club patrons uncomfortable. They are however the only group that is banned.

If the other groups affected the bottom line of the club, they would be as well.

Spoomonkey

[bill&sabrina]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

If the other groups affected the bottom line of the club, they would be as well.

Spoomonkey

True, but because it's not PC it won't happen. We can't make people feel unwanted, I guess bi men aren't people.

Bill

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by bill&sabrina

True, but because it's not PC it won't happen. We can't make people feel unwanted, I guess bi men aren't people.

This isn't true at all, Bill.

There are clubs that "ban" people based on looks, affluence, etc. Bi-men are not the only ones who are sometimes left out of swing clubs... They just seem to be the group that whines the most about it...

Spoomonkey

[luckycple]

what ever the women would want us to do. I have played with the other guys dick.

[bill&sabrina]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

They just seem to be the group that whines the most about it...

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Obviously things aren't going to be changed for us.