Sexuality Preferences and Swinging

[OhioCouple]

I ran across an interesting topic this morning and it got me to thinking... (now there's a potential disaster... ) I don't believe I have ever seen this as a topic of it's own here, although there have been some scatterings of mention in different threads.

Do you as either a couple or single, male or female, shy away from meeting others that are the opposite of what you consider yourself sexually? If you are not bi-sexual or curious will you not consider potential playmates that are? If you are bi-sexual or curious will you not consider someone who is straight?

With all the above to consider here are the real interesting questions.

If you are bi-sexual or curious and you do play with someone who is straight, do you find yourself checking them out and wondering what it would be like to have sex with them anyway, even if they are considered off limits?

If you are straight do you have concerns when playing with someone who is bi-sexual or curious, that they will be sizing you up?

Do you, regardless of your sexuality, feel self-concious to the point that it hinders your enjoyment when playing with someone who is the opposite of what you are?

I am going to reserve my opinions on this in order to get some un-biased feedback.

Lori

[AmbientXTC]

Ok, total newbie here but I'll try to give it a go

Our primary reason for checking into this lifestyle is due to my bi-curiousity (hubby is straight). The whole fantasy of fem/fem play is what interests us the most. When looking for another couple we always look for one with a bi-female. Now when we come across some of them , that includes the husband being bi-curious/sexual as well it's all up to my husband if he feels comfortable with it. We have discussed this in depth and he's ok with a man being bi as long as the other man knows that my hubby is not up for play in that sense. We also totally understand that they may not be interested in us due to just that fact. So, to sum things up as simply as I can... I don't feel comfortable playing with straight women couples, hubby's ok with bi men (if not in play as aforementioned lol). I think I would check out a straight female if it were to ever come to that, and my hubby tries not to think about a man possibly checking him out lol. Am I making any sense here?

[Tellya Later]

Since I'm single I don't want to put myself in a position in which the husband of a couple that I might meet would jump at the oppurtunity to get to frisky with me. To each their own but thats not me. I have no prefernce if the woman is bi or not.

I even go a step further by factoring in who someone may have met too.

[J & K]

"J" here the male half of "K".

When we see bi or bi-curious on the male we tend to skip it. I personally don't want to think about doing my wife or his lady while he looks at me from behind and thinks yummy. I think there are some attractive men out there that are bi, but the idea of being with a man or one wanting me makes me puke. That is just my opinion. If a man touches me in a sexual way---no way, but if the guy is straight and some body parts touch while playing with the women---then that is ok. It wasn't directed towards me.

We also skip most cpls who have bi females and just want some F/F fun. Our rule is on a F/F thing is going to be a F/F/M rule. I don't watch (i can get a video for that) and believe in partaking of the fun. "K" is curious still, but a man turns her on more in looks for now.

So with us: bi or bi-curious on men = no
on women = acceptable for now

[river248]

[quote]Originally posted by J & K
"J" here the male half of "K".

When we see bi or bi-curious on the male we tend to skip it. I personally don't want to think about doing my wife or his lady while he looks at me from behind and thinks yummy.

We are still laughing here over that statement and will for a long time. That is exactly how my guy sees it too.

We ended up here for just that reason. Mostly all profiles try to explain what they want thus we don't have to wonder anymore. We like to know upfront that our interests are the same.

Example: We met a great couple a few months ago. We clicked personality wise and spent the whole evening laughing and having a great time. The issue was on the table from the beginning of me being bi/bi-curious, my guy wanting a 4-some (no guy stuff), the guy part of the couple wanting the same, and the girl saying "no way, that's not for me". I knew immediately that I wouldn't go here. The guys kept trying to get me to "talk her into it". That's not for me. I'm not pushy and am not interested in spending time in bed with a woman who really doesn't want to be there, and is only there because everyone else of the group pressured her. I wouldn't find that fun or too relaxing! I'm not a teacher either.

So for us: We skip profiles that want full swap or bi/bi-curious males. We would never let this stop a friendship though; with the couple we met before, we can't wait to run into them again for just that, friendship.

A&M

[JustAskJulie]

I would say my hubby tends to agree with J, so we avoid couples where the guy is bi/bi-curious. On the other hand, while we don't avoid couples where the female is straight it does make things a bit difficult. I'm bi but not pushy, but on the other hand I don't want to make someone else uncomfortable if I should touch them (meaning to or not) and they percieve it as a come on (meant or not).

We also avoid couples who are only looking for f/f action, no one should be left out.

[Brit_Pair]

It appears J has spoken for me too. For the most part. Not even if an advert said that the male is bi or bi-curious - but is willing to forgo that desire - would I be interested in a meeting. Not so long as my backside points downwards.

Likewise, given our particular tastes, straight women are about as much use to us as chocolate teapots.

[imsnowman]

I don't have a druther either way. I trust that the people we chose to play with will respect our limits just as we'll respect theirs. If I say no male intentional contact I assume that the other folks will respect that just as much as I'd respect their limits. Indeed, I think it would be difficult to tell if casual contact is intentional or not.

I don't see that just because the other guy is bi that I have to be afraid that he'll go yummy and attack me. Can any of the fellas who have expressed this fear explain why? Maybe I should be more worried about it.

[lnk4u]

k here the female , while i am bi-curious hubby is not (although he is becoming curious). we have discussed this many times. if both parts of a couple are bi or curious that would be ok. the no means no still goes whether at a club/party or private place, doesn't it? and if the couple is straight wither one or both i wouldn't push for anything. neither of us are pushy people.

[Vjklander]

We look for straight males and bi females. We don't rule out the others, and have played with them with no problems. Then again, it's kinda hard to do DP without a bit of penile contact ....
*gryn*
Jamie

[dormi]

This is no particular concern for us. We are swingers first--variations are window dressing. We do not expect everyone to be exactly the same as us, and we would hope the same goes for any couple we happen to be with. Swinging is about exploration and variety--if everyone is the same, then it seems the point may be lost. (Not to mention the part about being introduced to something new and finding that you like it.)

[jcbicouple]

LOL. We just can't resist replying to this post (even if it is kind of old). We are both bi and, for the most part, avoid straight people, as well as those that are bi curious. Straight people for all of the reasons mentioned above by the straight guys. It spoils all the fun if someone isn't comfortable, and thinks that we are going to "get them". Bi Curious because we've found most to be straight and just trying to get in on the action with no real interest in same sex play (We know that's not everyone, but we can only go by our experiences). We also tend to avoid all of the straight people that e mail or IM us saying "I'm really bi, but don't want anyone to know it". We think if you're looking for sex playmates you should be upfront about what type of play interests you.
We've only recently played with a few straight people, but they knew we were bi, and our personalities clicked well. We met in person, not via e mail and through the course of getting to know each other, things worked out. We had no intentions for bi play in those situations, and had a great time (after all, bi does mean that we enjoy opposite sex action too. lol). Up until we met those people that were very open minded and not at all uneasy with our bisexuality: Our instant reaction to straight was "Sorry, Not interested in straight people.". As a matter of fact, unless it's a chance meeting while we're out of town or at a swing club/event: Our instant reaction to any IMs or e mails from straight people is still "Sorry, Not interested in straight people".

[tazzie_n_truck]

With us, she's be, he's straight, but we have swapped with couples where both were straight and had no problems with it. We have met couples where they were both bi, but we told them before we did anything that he don't do anything with guys.

He had an expirience with a couple he had a threesome with once where they didn't say that the husband was bi, and while he was with the wife of the other couple the husband was fondling his balls, freaked him out big time. lol

As long as the couple we are with knows our boundries that we have, we usually never have a problem. But that's also something when we are getting to know the other couple we discuss before doing anything.

[Denver2some]

Hubby and I are both straight, and indicate it in our profile (though it's not always read.) The couples we correspond with, and sometimes end up meeting, are typically a straight male with a straight or bi-curious female.

We haven't played with any couples with bi/bi-curious males because Mr D2S says it would make him feel too self-conscious. As for me, a couple with a bi female is just fine ... as long as neither she nor her hubby view the girl/girl thing as "a must" for satisfactory playtime. (We wouldn't ever want anyone to feel disappointed during or after playtime, so I'm always upfront about it beforehand.)

Most bi/bi couples and straight-m/bi-f couples don't contact us, probably for similar reasons to the ones jcbicouple mentions. Though we have heard from a few from time to time.

[BettyAnnMBSC]

If the prevailing attitude is that putting "bi male" in your ad will result in fewer potential contacts; wouldn't many bi males simple leave that out of their profile?

Then, you may well be having relations with bi males and not even know it. I'd submit that the prevalence of bisexuality and bi-curriosity among those in the lifestyle is about equal with the prevalence of homophobics. I'd also submit that many (if not most) bi males simply leave that fact out of their profile.

It stands then that many experienced men reading this forum have indeed been naked in the same room with a bisexual man. I'd be interested to know then if anyone has experienced a situation where, after telling the playmates involved that you're straight, that some bisexual guy suddenly tried to shove his penis up your butt or exclaimed to your dismay "nice ass dude!".

Since we don't yet require people to stamp their sexual orientation on their forehead, it seems to me that you have no real way of knowing whether someone is bi or not, provided they are prepared to hide their orientation from you.

And, (a peave of mine) -- just because someone is bi (male or female) doesn't automatically mean that they want to have sex with "you" (male or female).

We're everywhere!!!!!