Do women share a fantasy of seeing their man have sex with another man?

[herpob]

Originally Posted by Chicup

You can say it again but you are still wrong here.

My wife has enjoyed some FF play. Key word, ENJOYED. I would not enjoy MM play. Even if it were a fantasy of hers for MM play I wouldn't owe her anything because she did an FF.

Well that's how we like to play. Owe or not - we like to trade out, tit for tat, I'll do it if you do it, etc. It's fun to try stuff for the other, though it sometimes takes a long while. I am now really enjoying the extra play. I think he will also. He like anal why not get the thing, certainly a guy can do it better than a toy. They do on me any way.

Originally Posted by safireblues

I love it so much I married a bi guy. I love sharing cock with him, I love seeing him enjoy it, I love the look on a guy's face when he sees a woman see him do something so taboo.

BIG FAN!

See that is what I believe as well. I thoroughly enjoy watching the bi guy go at it. There is just something awesome fun about sucking it with them or helping them do each other. And I really like to watch close up, touch, and feel. I don't know maybe I am a bit odd but it is so cool, guys can really get it on strong sometimes, more so than the ladies. I mean the ladies in our group do but not as often as the guys do. They seem to be able to get all hot horny sexed up and ready to do anything that moves at the drop of a hat. The ladies tend to build up to it over time, even I get that way more than the guys do. I love sex but honestly if I didn't work at it so much I could probably go longer in between.

[az469]

of course they do.
my wife loves gay male porno and bisexual movies.

[Looking4uwithus]

Here's another vote for "NO WAY" does the thought of Mr looking4 with another guy even SLIGHTLY turn on Mrs Looking4. Any m/m action is just wrong in Mrs opinion.

[NCfuncouple98]

I personally wouldn't go so far as to say it's "wrong", but no, it does not turn me on. If Mr NC ever decided it was something he wanted to explore, he knows he would have my support 100%, the same support he gave me when I discovered my own bi-sexual side that I never realized was there.

It is not a fantasy of mine. It does not repulse me in any way, but it's not a fantasy either.

Mrs. NC

[FlaPlaya561]

I have spoke to alot of women and some say they would LOVE it ...Some say they wouldnt mind and other are just against it LOL...Lots of opinions...

[bathes]

would love to no what my wife thinks,do i just ask its never been disccussed but she loves to fuck me with a dildo. help lol

[AskMeOk]

One of the first couples we met "shared" this fantasy with us. She posted as bi-curious and he, as straight. I (Mr. Ask) told him I didn't mind collateral touching during a cluster fuck, but I wasn't into bi-anything. We felt that couple had hoped for a bit of bait and switch to come true.

Later, I asked Mrs. Ask about this and she said that MM stuff amounted to a turn off to her. In the subsequent years, I think we have only run across one other couple that found this to be a turn on and the ladies of the remaining couples really didn't care much for the idea.

My answer, however, is narrowed to experiences with Male-Straight couples. In the interest of calling a spade a spade, what you are suggesting is a Bi-Male sort of thing, whether he wants to identify as such, or not. IMHO, if you are looking to expand on this fantasy, your chances of success are greatly enhanced by looking for a couple with a bi-male. The wife may also be drifting over into fantasies of cuckoldry!

[Lascivious L&L]

Chicup discussed the self selecting bias in this thread. Of course the self selecting bias also works in the straight world. Ask any woman who knows you are repulsed by males sucking males whether they have a fantasy to see males sucking males, and what do you suppose they are going to say??? Of course they are going to be biased into saying no way, no matter what their real fantasies are.

Repulsed by bi male oral people are not going to hear about or be aware of just how many straight men would be interested in being sucked off by a man, by a man and a woman, or in sucking a cock themselves. Obviously straight men so inclined aren't going to reveal it to a repulsor.

On swingers sites we are listed as both bi. We get a lot of responses from couples and men listed as straight but very interested in trying the bi side out. It has amazed us how many straight men confess to us a fantasy for trying cock.

Repulsors get a response biased toward repulsion. Enjoyers get a very much more positive response.

[mixtupcpl]

Originally Posted by Lascivious L&L

Chicup discussed the self selecting bias in this thread. Of course the self selecting bias also works in the straight world. Ask any woman who knows you are repulsed by males sucking males whether they have a fantasy to see males sucking males, and what do you suppose they are going to say??? Of course they are going to be biased into saying no way, no matter what their real fantasies are.

Repulsed by bi male oral people are not going to hear about or be aware of just how many straight men would be interested in being sucked off by a man, by a man and a woman, or in sucking a cock themselves. Obviously straight men so inclined aren't going to reveal it to a repulsor.

On swingers sites we are listed as both bi. We get a lot of responses from couples and men listed as straight but very interested in trying the bi side out. It has amazed us how many straight men confess to us a fantasy for trying cock.

Repulsors get a response biased toward repulsion. Enjoyers get a very much more positive response.

You're suggesting that folks here, *within their marriage* lack the "safe zone" required to share a fantasy.

Sorry... but I think you're *way* off base here. The number one requirement that gets called out time and again for this alternate lifestyle is openness, honesty, and mutual respect...

To say that you think all of these women are just hiding/supressing their true fantasies because they dont feel comfortable sharing with their "repulsor" husbands is self-serving at best, borderline insulting at worst...

[Lascivious L&L]

Not sure how you received that impression from my post.

Chicup said that most of the women he knows do not have this fantasy. My point was that he was going to hear the negative much more often because he makes it quite clear he is repulsed by the fantasy. A person who makes his repulsion clear isn't likely to be told by those around him that they just love the fantasy that repulses him.

I didn't discuss what is shared within marriages. I discussed my personal experience finding that those who call themselves straight can be much more open to male bisexuality than the straight label might suggest. There are more than a few couples who describe themselves as straight in order to avoid the repulsion that Chicup so gladly voices.

And there are those who feel that satisfying their wife's fantasy to see sex between men does not make them bi. They simply are open to satisfying the fantasies of the one they love.

[mixtupcpl]

Originally Posted by Lascivious L&L

Not sure how you received that impression from my post. .

Because your post was very strongly worded and also broadly general. It was pretty much the same tone Chiccup uses, just from the opposite perspective.

So extend it then. What if Chiccup had said that all of the husbands he knows in the lifestyle have indicated that their wives dont have this fantasy? That would effectively be the same thing. Point is I don't accept the idea that women don't feel "safe" sharing this fantasy because of some kind of fear of backlash. People in this lifestyle are pretty open about sexuality.

As for a guy not being bi, yet being willing to have sex with another man to satisfy his wife, I find it incredibly unlikely.

What would we say to a totally straight woman having sex with another woman, despite having no attraction to women at all, just to satisfy her husband? We would say it was tragic. We would say she "took one for the team". We would say it was lousy, etc. We might even say it was abusive of the husband to push her, etc.

Now *could* that happen to a man? I suppose it could. Is it *far* less likely? Yes. I think the *vast* majority of the time, a man who satisfies this fantasy for his wife is by definition bi-curious and, if he in any way enjoys it, he is certainly bi-sexual in some way.

[PB&J]

I realize that I am just one woman, and I do not claim to speak for all. I do not have this fantasy. I wouldn't say that I am repulsed by it, it's just a "meh". It is not society which is keeping me from indulging in this fantasy, it's the way I'm wired. I'm pretty open-minded; it would be hard to be having fun with what we're doing otherwise. If it's what you like/want, cool, go for it; just don't expect me to go along with it because otherwise I'm being "close-minded". I never was a big fan of doing what others expected, whether in the vanilla or chocolate world.

[mixtupcpl]

Originally Posted by PB&J

If it's what you like/want, cool, go for it; just don't expect me to go along with it because otherwise I'm being "close-minded". I never was a big fan of doing what others expected, whether in the vanilla or chocolate world.

This is great! Thank you... I've been sort of struggling with how to say this, but I think this is definitely what touched a nerve for me... I feel the suggestion that *not* being into this is close-minded, is often hidden right beneath the surface of many of these discussions and, personally, I find that perspective just as unreasonable as the opposite view (that this type of behavior is "bad" in some way) As with most things, I find both extreme ends of the viewpoint spectrum unreasonable.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Lascivious L&L

Not sure how you received that impression from my post.

Chicup said that most of the women he knows do not have this fantasy. My point was that he was going to hear the negative much more often because he makes it quite clear he is repulsed by the fantasy. A person who makes his repulsion clear isn't likely to be told by those around him that they just love the fantasy that repulses him.

That would only be true if I told them my feelings ahead of time. Its generally not something that I bring up.

[PB&J]

I feel the suggestion that *not* being into this is close-minded, is often hidden right beneath the surface of many of these discussions and, personally, I find that perspective just as unreasonable as the opposite view (that this type of behavior is "bad" in some way) As with most things, I find both extreme ends of the viewpoint spectrum unreasonable.

I find it odd when one "side" or the other in these lifestyle tempest-in-teapots tries to prove that they are "right". On another site we belong to, out of Toronto, it's much worse. I once got flamed when, in a thread where someone asked what happened at house parties, I said that one of the good things about them was that one could play alone without worrying about the "4-way click". Well! I was a slut for suggesting that, let me tell you. Anyone who did anything but same-room was just plain wrong, according to the responses I got. Dear lord. I had never said that people who wanted to do same-room only were in any way morally deficient or uncool (and I don't think that they are: more power to them if that's what they want to do!), but they felt free to pass judgement on how my husband and I decided to swing.

I don't care what you do as long as you don't tell me what I should be doing. There is a difference between expressing a personal like/dislike and passing judgement on others' likes/dislikes. We swingers all do what we are comfortable with- and if we don't we are fools. If we limit our fun, or go beyond the boundaries that we as a couple feel good about, then we are giving into peer pressure, and that is JUST PLAIN WRONG.