Straight couples in swinging... if you aren't bi, then why swing?

[LIZA]

Bisexuality in swinging seems to be the hot topic........And most couples seem to be and expect a bi woman/straight man.........You all already know my opinion on male bisexuality.

But here is my question, if you are a couple where both a straight, how do you both feel about your partner wanting/needing sex with someone else who is providing esentially the same thing you are? I mean, if you have intercourse at home with your husband, how much different/better is it to go and have it with someone else? Does jealousy get to be more of an issue then?

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by LIZA:

But here is my question, if you are a couple where both a straight, how do you both feel about your partner wanting/needing sex with someone else who is providing esentially the same thing you are? I mean, if you have intercourse at home with your husband, how much different/better is it to go and have it with someone else? Does jealousy get to be more of an issue then?

It's not the same thing. There are many things that you still get out of swinging without having bi sexperiences. While I am bi, most of our swinging doesn't involve women. Usually we are with single guys.

Why?

My husband likes to watch. He enjoys seeing me please other guys. He knows how much pleasure I bring him and enjoys knowing that I am doing the same for other guys.

In general we would swing with a couple where the woman isn't bi with no problem at all. What's the difference. We get to swap partners and both see each other get pleasured and pleasing others and get a taste of something different.

While I would give up swinging if my husband decided he didn't want to do it anymore, I can honestly say I have a hard time imagining having sex with only one person for the rest of my life. He's a great lover but it's nice to have something different once in a while.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[LIZA]

I guess the more posts I read here the more I realize I am just very different than other women in swinging.

We only got into swinging because I am bi and my husband (like most men)enjoys watching and participating. I like having other men present, I guess because I am an exhibitionist of sorts, but as far as actual sex I just do not have the desire to be sexual with other men. In the past with couples I have done things with the other man, so as not to be a party pooper, but so far have found their techniques just dont measure up to what I get at home.

I guess for us the ideal situation would be single Bi women but for one thing they dont hsrdly exist and for another I am the first to admit I am rather insecure and do not want to bring some single hot woman home......although the 2 times we DID have a threesome with a woman, the woman seemed to develope an attachment to ME and it was awkward and difficult to cut off

Originally posted by LIZA:
....But here is my question, if you are a couple where both a straight, how do you both feel about your partner wanting/needing sex with someone else who is providing esentially the same thing you are? I mean, if you have intercourse at home with your husband, how much different/better is it to go and have it with someone else? Does jealousy get to be more of an issue then?

I don't see it as a problem for us, it's just a sexual fantasy & desire at that time, and we're happy & willing to share our fantasies with each other! *VBS*

There is NOBODY that "provides the essential" sexual desires that we have/"need", than from each other! Nobody compares with us, providing our sexual "needs"...Thus, we have a VERY secured relationship!

When we were in the "discussing" stages of the lifestyle, "jealousy" was a BIG issue, being that both of us are VERY jealous! Communication, trust & honesty plays a HUGE part in our relationship, blessing us with a secured & AWESOME relationship!

"Needing" sex with another woman/man on the otherhand, now THAT may become a problem with us...Like I said, WE both "provide the essentials" that we "need" in our sexual desires, we don't "need" it from anyone else.


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 11-09-2000).]

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by LIZA:
I guess the more posts I read here the more I realize I am just very different than other women in swinging.

I would say you are taking it a little far to say that you are different than any other woman in swinging. There are lots of couples who are into swinging for the sex and not at all for friendship..although most that I have met are full swap.

Everyone is in this for different reasons and gets different things out of it. And what I've noticed is that even everyone who participates in these forums is in it for different reasons to some extent or another.

Hopefully seeing this will help you to understand that everyone is in this for different reasons.. no one is right or wrong for their reasons or how they participate in swinging.. that is their choice.

On the note of what a couple who isnt' bi gets out of this lifestyle.. I've posted my response to that in the new topic you started. Please continue any posts in that regard there as well.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[watcherone]

Jealosy is a big thing in the beginning. That is part of what brings my wife and I closer.(sounds odd doesnt it!) After the first couple times I found that I did get jealous or more like wondering if she would one day decide to run off with one of the guys she had been with. It actually seems childish and since being in this for a few years, I have no jealousy problems. I have become more relaxed with our swinging each time we do it. I dont feel that I have to keep an eye on her or the other guy, she has shown me that it isnt the same as with us. I have set in the living room while she and a friend were playing real hard in our bedroom for hours and not once was I threatened or jealous. Afterwards she always turns to me and I am the only one she needs.
The only way to explain it is this way: We eat supper at home almost every night. We mostly share cooking but she is a great cook and I love her cooking. But, every now and then we go out to a favorite resturant for something different. It is always a fantastic meal but it never compares to the supper at home. It is just different and a bit exciting trying something different. And every "meal" is different from the last.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by watcherone:

The only way to explain it is this way: We eat supper at home almost every night. We mostly share cooking but she is a great cook and I love her cooking. But, every now and then we go out to a favorite resturant for something different. It is always a fantastic meal but it never compares to the supper at home. It is just different and a bit exciting trying something different. And every "meal" is different from the last.

That is such a great analogy.

[poisonivy_44057]

I like to swing so i can be with a woman, and i also like to watch my hubby with other woman, i dont usually want to swing with other men, but every now and then i get the urge My hubby is wonderful in bed, so when we swing with a couple, i like to play with my hubby and the other man at the same time, so he isnt a replacement for my hubby, he is just helping Of coarse i am still holding onto the hope that someday my hubby would be interseted in the man...lol, one can only dream

------------------
Couple in NE Ohio ISO other couples and bi females, we love to have fun

[JustKev]

Originally posted by LIZA:
In the past with couples I have done things with the other man, so as not to be a party pooper, but so far have found their techniques just dont measure up to what I get at home.
[/b]

Let me ask you this, are you sure it's just their techniques or maybe that you don't have the same emotional link with them as you do your husband? I've been married twice and found that I didn't know what was missing from my first marriage until I met my second wife. The first time I got married, I either thought I was in love or just plain convinced myself I was. And the sex was satisfying physically. This time I *know* I am in love and the sex is so much more than just physically satisfying. And the relationship is so much more emotionally satisfying all the way around.

Just a thought.

Originally posted by JustKev:
....This time I *know* I am in love and the sex is so much more than just physically satisfying. And the relationship is so much more emotionally satisfying all the way around.

Just a thought.

I'm on my 2nd marriage too, and I have to agree....I am so much more satisfying now, SEXUALLY, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, then I've ever dreamt of being in my 1st marriage! Thank GOD!

I would NOT trade our marriage for the world! *Shaking my head*

1 4 3 to Hubby! XXXOOO
Wife of CyberMWCouple

[LIZA]

I dont think it is the love/attachment thing because I have sex with women who I have NO emotional attachment to and can totally enjoy THAT!

I have encountered some men in swinging who's technique as far as touching/oral(as far as I go) TOTALLY turned me off. Either they have not learned much in the swinging world OR I like a very different approach than most women!

[Stratecpl]

We are a 100% straight couple and jealousy is not a problem at all. What do we get from it??? Tons of satisfaction watching each other have great sex, be fullfilled, learn new things from others that we can try on each other after the other couple go home..LOL, the sights and sounds of each other in totally euphoric ecstasy are unbelievable. To watch each other "perform" with another partner is very exciting too. My husband is a rare man I guess, in that he does not find it exciting or stimulating to see two women getting it on together, in fact he can't understand what other men get from it at all? He's a hands on kinda guy who would much rather do the two women himself..haha. anyway we haven't had any jealousy, Only a ton of pleasure in seeing each other with another partner..it has enhanced our time together too. We've found that after an expeience with another couple or a threesome with a single male the sex between us for days afterward is very intense and hot!

[MiCpl]

Originally posted by Stratecpl:
My husband is a rare man I guess, in that he does not find it exciting or stimulating to see two women getting it on together, in fact he can't understand what other men get from it at all?

Not too rare. Mine is the same way actually. He gets nothing out of seeing two women together. Would love to have two women all to himself (hasn't had that pleasure yet), but prefers to see me with another man.

S & J

I love to watch my wife with another man, or a woman. I get pleasure from seeing her enjoy herself so much. I would have to say that the big thing about seeing two women together is the possibility of me joining them both!

Husband of CyberMWCouple

[Stratecpl]

Originally posted by CyberMWCouple:
I would have to say that the big thing about seeing two women together is the possibility of me joining them both!

I understand your point of view..but in my husband's case he has been with two straight women before and it was great for all three without the two women having to even touch one another. And I have been with another straight couple in a threesome where the other woman and I had no contact whatsoever. The hubby was very happy there too..

Connie