are you what you say you are?

[Tia Vampire]

After reading Tybeeswing's thread, it made me think about other threads i have read here. I've read threads saying that some bi women are not bi or bi-curious at all. So they seem fake or not knowing what they really want. Some women call themselves bi-curious because of the choices when signing up. I think alot of women misunderstand this term, such as myself. Come to turn out, i'm more bi-social or bi-passive. I have had one bi encounter and i would never do it again. Not that the woman was unclean or anything like that, as a matter of fact, she is very beautiful and sexy, but it's just not my thing. That is what i thought bi- curious was. Just wanting to cure a curiosity that crossed your mind once in a while. Thank you for that experience, you know who you are. So my question to some of the ladies out there is this, Are you sure you are what you say you are? Get the definitions of all the bi catagories in tybeeswing thread called,"bi-sexual or bi-curious ladies".

[Mr. Truelove]

I think I would like to see Mrs. Truelove post her response to this one, but I'll see if I can't nail it.

We put down on our profile:
"She is listed as bi-curious. She doesn't have any emotional lust for women, but does find FF play very erotic. "

I always think that bi-sexual refers more to someone that would be just as likely to date someone of either sex if they were single. And that bi-curious means they are testing the waters. I guess you could just as easily label her bi-friendly. She has always told me though that she prefers men, and if she were to ever want a relationship (assuming I died or something ) she would want one with a man.

But since there is so much grey area here we figured our explanation would help people understand what we were into. Titles can be misleading.

Mr. Truelove

[Mrs. Truelove]

Originally Posted by Mr. Truelove

I think I would like to see Mrs. Truelove post her response to this one, but I'll see if I can't nail it.

We put down on our profile:
"She is listed as bi-curious. She doesn't have any emotional lust for women, but does find FF play very erotic. "

Well he did nail it. That is exactly how I feel. I could never see myself with a female life partner if something happened to Mr. Truelove. I just think that playing with a female is very erotic and something we both enjoy.

Mrs. Truelove

[Irishsakura]

I will have to re read the bi article. But I figured anyone who is bisexual is actually heterosexual emotionally but sexually likes the best of both worlds. Anyone who is bi curious hasn't been with a same sex partner but is willing to try. Does that make sense?

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by Irishsakura

I will have to re read the bi article. But I figured anyone who is bisexual is actually heterosexual emotionally but sexually likes the best of both worlds. Anyone who is bi curious hasn't been with a same sex partner but is willing to try. Does that make sense?

That's where our confusion is. Bisexual would imply hetersexual and homosexual emotionally I would think. I mean, what else would call someone that was that? I haven't read the other thread but I think something like bi-friendly would be more accurate for Mrs. Truelove.

As for the OP's question. My answer was basically that we felt the necessity to explain our stance in our profile rather than to rely on a single term. The terminology seems to be able to be debated forever.

Mr. Truelove

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

Get the definitions of all the bi catagories in tybeeswing thread called,"bi-sexual or bi-curious ladies".

Hi Tia,

I just want to share that the list of bi terms I wrote was my take on it. It's not absolute. The OP was asking all of us bi-something ladies (whatever we define ourselves as) to share what we each think the various terms mean. She was looking for a variety of opinions, and I gave mine.

A side note about that thread: With as many women as there are in the lifestyle who participate in bi activity to some degree or other, I was surprised that more women didn't post on that thread!

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

Come to turn out, i'm more bi-social or bi-passive. I have had one bi encounter and i would never do it again.

Since you tried it and you know that you never want to do it again, wouldn't you call yourself just "straight"? (I'm confused.) Or, do you mean you'll still participate in bi activity passively (receiving only)?

Originally Posted by Mr. Truelove

We put down on our profile:
"She is listed as bi-curious. She doesn't have any emotional lust for women, but does find FF play very erotic. "
....
But since there is so much grey area here we figured our explanation would help people understand what we were into. Titles can be misleading.

Mr. Truelove

Because bi-curious means to me that a woman has a curiosity she'd like to explore, meaning no bi experience (or very little) but interest is there, that's what I would have thought Mrs. Truelove's self-definition was - unless you'd written what you did. By reading the write-in definition you add in your profile, I'd know that you are a couple that defines it differently than we do, and that she does actively participate in bi activity as a physical thing (in exactly the same way that I do - FF play; very erotic), not as an emotional thing.

Originally Posted by Irishsakura

I will have to re read the bi article. But I figured anyone who is bisexual is actually heterosexual emotionally but sexually likes the best of both worlds. Anyone who is bi curious hasn't been with a same sex partner but is willing to try. Does that make sense?

That's the way I define those terms, too. The way you described bi is exactly the way I define myself. I'm very hetero emotionally and even sexually generally speaking, but I enjoy bi activity. I participate equally when we're swinging, not passively (I give, I receive).

Some women who define themselves as simply "bisexual" could have emotional ties to a female as easily as a male (they are 50/50). I think that most women in the Lifestyle who use the term "bisexual" are like you and I, we are physically bi-active in the Lifestyle, but not emotionally bi. We're predominantly or even very predominantly hetero. Bisexual is a broad term!

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Because bi-curious means to me that a woman has a curiosity she'd like to explore, meaning no bi experience (or very little) but interest is there, that's what I would have thought Mrs. Truelove's self-definition was - unless you'd written what you did. By reading the write-in definition you add in your profile, I'd know that you are a couple that defines it differently than we do, and that she does actively participate in bi activity as a physical thing (in exactly the same way that I do - FF play; very erotic), not as an emotional thing.

Well, she is very new to this as well. This thread is nice though. It certainly is making us give more thought to the titles we put up. Perhaps after a few more experiences we'll change that to something a little more appropriate.

Mr. Truelove

[Spoomonkey]

Mrs Spoo lists herself as "Straight" in our profile. There is a blurb about her openness to bisexual play within the profile (intended for folks who actually read profiles ). We found that if you list yourself as "bi" you are contacted by people who either want only that - or are expecting that from the word go. It is such a big thing in the lifestyle...

For Mrs Spoo, there has to be a lot of chemistry. In most cases, it just isn't there. She isn't looking for it so it kind of has to grab her by surprise almost. So, to say that she is "bi-anything" would be to lead people on in most cases.

Personally, I think it is really sexy when she does play bi - mostly because I am turned on by her "wanting" something. Some couples are looking for that as an eventuality - and based on the track record, the chances of that are fairly slim. She is just way too into men. So, putting straight in our profile sends the most accurate picture without any confusion.

You'd be amazed though. We STILL get PMs from couples who want the women to play while the men watch :rollseyes

Spoomonkey

[flkeyscouple]

Originally Posted by Mr. Truelove

I always think that bi-sexual refers more to someone that would be just as likely to date someone of either sex if they were single. And that bi-curious means they are testing the waters. I guess you could just as easily label her bi-friendly. She has always told me though that she prefers men, and if she were to ever want a relationship (assuming I died or something ) she would want one with a man.

Mr. Truelove

Not only did you nail it for Mrs. Truelove, you nailed it for us too! I feel exactly the same way. I have bi-curious on our profile too.... and I think I'll add the sentence that you use in your profile - if you don't mind me being a copycat!!

Sarah

[gatorvol64]

I'm listed as straight in our profile and bi play isn't mentioned in it at all. If you talk with me though, I'll tell you that I'm not necessarily opposed to it...just haven't ever felt like pursuing it I guess. It'd have to be just the right time with the right woman. I can't say it will never happen because it is possible for sure. But I can't put that in a profile....I'd feel that would be very misleading.

Vol

[2TexasTornados]

My husband listed me as bi-curious and I would say that's accurate based on the definitions posted here. So far, I've never had any experience with a woman, and I never consciously long for it. However, there are two women in my life that struck me as very sexy... not because of a certain look or body feature. They just had an aura of appeal/sexuality that lept out at me, and somewhere in my mind, I thought that if we ever found each other in a situation where it was allowed, I'd be very curious to explore. However, so far in any real couple situations, I haven't felt any real attraction to a woman, though I'm not repelled by the idea. I have one female friend who is married and bi-sexual (but not a swinger) and she has told me she's attracted to me. Although I find her very pretty, I can't seem to muster up any real desire to be with her. (Maybe just no chemistry?) She and her husband are not swingers, but they did ask me a while back to be their 3rd in a threesome. Since DH and I don't split up for play, I said no.

So as of right now, still a FF virgin.

[VanHlebar]

This is interesting. MrsVan initially had herself listed as bi-curious when we get started about a year ago. She had never been with a lady at all but she wanted to try it out. We actually had a FFM as our first planned experience and it was fantastic. After that experience MrsVan changed herself from bi-curious to bi. We do have a blurb in our profile that says that she loves the touch of a woman, but it is not a necessity for play and it truly isn't.

I think we tend to view the bi, bi-curious, passively bi etc as follows:

Bi to us means that you are open to FF play and that it is going to be a two way participation. MrsVan doesn't see herself as a person that could get emotionally involved with a lady, but sex it different. She loves men too much.

Bi-curious to us means that you have little to no experience and that you want to try exploring. Things might work out, or it might not, the lady just isn't sure yet.

Other than that the others we tend to take as there is little FF activity or only receiving and no giving. We us the Bi term for MrsVan as it does give the most clear picture of what she is like. She is not aggressive at all unless the other lady has already shown an interest.

-Van

[Tia Vampire]

That is a good question tybeeswing? I'm confused myself. I think i am straight, but will flirt with other women just as a tease for the guys. Yes, there are many attractive women out there, but i'm not attracted to them sexually. I would also be with a woman only if she was wearing a stap-on. If she wanted to go down on me, she could, but sorry to say, i wouldn't give back. So what is the correct lable for me? Please be gentle guys. :surrender

[xxoticangel]

I'm listed as bi in our ads. I'm not bi-curious because I know I enjoy having sex with other women. I'm not really bi either because I much prefer sex with men and would not consider another woman for a LTR. However, I did have booty call lesbian sex with other girls in H.S. and college but that was because we were horny and there were no guys around at the time.

[ohash01]

We have bi-curious listed in our profile and as of right now, I would DEFINATELY say that's what I am. I don't have enough experience to be "Bi" and I always connotate bi with the ability to be emotionally involved with either sex. And that's not true for me. I'll always be emotionally attracted to JUST males.

I have several experiences with other women...I've enjoyed every single one of them. I've reciprocated during every single one of them (I'm not one of those who just receives), but I just don't think I could be emotionally involved with another female.