One for the ladies. Do you lose respect if your man plays with a man?

[SuAndBud]

We're a couple who for the past couple of years have included a third (a long-time male friend) for MFM fun on occasion.

He has met a lady and told her he swings. We've all met (socially) and are attracted to her and she to us.

We've all agreed we want to meet up next month for a weekend. Sex is most deffinately on the menu with the girls even discussing what lingerie to wear etc.

Trouble is, both girls keep teasing us guys that if we want the girls to play orally together, then us boys should do likewise.

We're convinced it's just tongue-in-cheek nervous banter as neither girl has experienced another girl before, although both are eager to explore this aspect of our relationship.

I was shocked when my friend who I've known as a buddy all my life said that if the girls were OK with it then he was too.

Being a died in the wool heterosexual, I was initially repulsed.

However, now I keep getting flashbacks of when I watched Su while she was sucking him and it makes me horny. In fact the thought of performing fellatio on him occupies my mind almost 24/7.

I know he's serious because I have asked him straight out and he can't see a problem with us perfoming BJ's with each other at all.

Not only do I not object to the idea, now. I'm almost obsessed with the idea of fellating him.

For some reason I've managed to mentally compartmentalise such an act with him as not being "gay" and not even being "bi". Maybe cuz I can't imagine doing it to any other guy but him.

The one thing that dampens my ardour is that if the girls are (as I suspect) teasing &/or covering their own embarassment at having agreed they want to perform orally with each other, will the girls be shocked, disappointed or whatever if me and J do this in their presence?

In spite of my own clouded observations, will we be considered as closet gays?

[ohash01]

Ask her/them if they were serious? And if they weren't, would they mind? That's definately up to all four of you.

Me, personally, I wouldn't lose respect for my man if that's something he wanted to try. There have been several blindly-drunken nights when he has admitted that's something he's curious about. Granted, I don't think he'd admit it in the sober day-light, but my momma didn't raise no fool. What people say when they're drunk, you can probably bet is damn close to the truth. I actually think I'd probaby be a bit turned on.

You're not a closeted gay man. I, personally, like the saying "I am not heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual...I am simply sexual". Do what feels right.

[blueguitar]

While it isn't something I have ever experienced first hand, and my fiance swears it isn't something he wants to do, if he ever did, I would be suportive, and It would turn me on A LOT. :-)

[JTcamp05]

Think that is something alot of men think about but don't admit....cause its not socialy acceptable. We have never been in a situation that presented itself for such activity, but would be open to consider it like anything else sexual. I know the thought of it turns my wife on, but can't say its something I would do unless I wanted too. I think the same goes for your situation. If its good for you and your wife enjoys then that's all the better for the both of you!

[SuAndBud]

Thanks for the input.

Notice it's all pretty positive so far. Effectively, it mite not be everyone's cup of tea (never thought it would be mine), but "If it's OK with you - Go for it" type replies.

Are there no ladies with a negative view?

Would none feel threatened by their man's homosexual play, for instance?

In common with many guy's I've spoken to over the years (usually in light, tongue-in-cheek, fashion), I've heard that guys give better BJ's much in the same way that many ladies insist that girls perform the best cunnilingus. Each sex knowing instinctively where the "rite-spots" are, when to apply pressure and when to ease off etc.

I firmly believe I would be more comfortable with my skills with and correct responses to the needs of a dick than a pussy.

Maybe I'm just thinking too hard

There must be some ladies on the board who would be uncomfortable. Please don't be shy. I'll not take offence.

More encouragement wouldn't go amis, either

[catslaughing]

Dude,

While it is not my cup of tea, as long as you are all consenting adults I do not think you should worry about it. If it sucks (heh) you can decide to not do it in the future.

In the words of one of the more brilliant writers of our age;

I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. - Robert A. Heinlein

[havefuninsun]

Truthfully, I don't think seeing Mr. Fun take another man in his mouth would be a turn on for me. But I think I'm in the minority. And I definitely understand the curiosity -- Hell, I was curious once ;-).

Lose respect? Not in this lifetime. And I like how ohash01 says "it's about being sexual." I don't like labels either, and feel like I'm a highly sexual person. I don't think I'm "gay" because I enjoy women on occasion either.

Have fun and PLAY!! If the girls are even teasing about it, they must find it erotic as hell to even bring it up. You could very well be fulfilling fantasies for them. Lucky girls!!

[prettylady]

I can't see an issue with it either. I have not had thoughts of Dog being with another man, nor I am certain has he. But it is about you. Well of course you guy friend as well. Even if it turns out to be something you will never do again. Hell wheres the harm in giving it a go.
That is NOT something to lose respect over. Woman do it all the time. We as a whole respect and encourage women to try what ever makes them feel good. Then why the heck not you.
Make sure it is ok with everyone. Then have a good time.
Pushing bounderies is scary, but a hell of alot of fun.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Chicup]

This is a silly question.

Its silly because any answer you get here will be completely meaningless.

Its like asking the general public what they think of swinging and basing your action on that.

I can tell you without hesitation that Mrs. Chicup would lose respect for me if I were bi. She's completely repulsed by MM activities even though shes mildly bi herself. If you were married to her, then you would have a problem. The issue is you are not so what she thinks of you doesn't matter much.

Some women are repulsed by it, (I know more than just Mrs. Chicup) and others seem to really like it. So yes there is a chance one of the girls will not be happy with it, but you need to really explore the idea with them first.

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by Chicup

This is a silly question.

Its silly because any answer you get here will be completely meaningless.

Its like asking the general public what they think of swinging and basing your action on that.

I can tell you without hesitation that Mrs. Chicup would lose respect for me if I were bi. She's completely repulsed by MM activities even though shes mildly bi herself. If you were married to her, then you would have a problem. The issue is you are not so what she thinks of you doesn't matter much.

Some women are repulsed by it, (I know more than just Mrs. Chicup) and others seem to really like it. So yes there is a chance one of the girls will not be happy with it, but you need to really explore the idea with them first.

OUCH! I agree, but OUCH!
Your friend,
Prettylady

[BiloxiCouple]

Our society has hangups when it comes to male-male relationships. I am sure other societies and times have looked at homosexual relationships differently. I'm not an expert in this area, but have seen it discussed.

On the other hand our society and lifestyle does look at bi-women differently than bi-men. When a couple of women flirt with each other to find out their level of comfort it is normally cool. I have seen a couple of times when a bi-man tried to flirt with another guy and it almost caused a fight in a lifestyle club.

My wife and I have talked about being bi and neither one of us are. But on the same note if one of us wanted to try it the other would let us explore it and see. With just a couple of exceptions we agree on almost everything in life in general and swinging. That works for us.


I guess another society thing about homosexuality is you can hold hands with your mother but not as easily with your father as an adult child.

Everyone is different in how they look at these issues and whether they can tell the truth about it.

Just a couple of thoughts and opinions. Hope it helps that you are not alone in thinking about these kind of things.

p.s.

I didn't know there was anything as a silly question.

[ANGEDKY(mr)]

......................I'll go for silly and provocative .

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

I didn't know there was anything as a silly question.

I've heard one. Not HERE, but I've heard one.

I was in class and we were discussing property rights. The professor was explaining the way the law worked is when you own property, you own it to the core of the earth and up in the sky. This other student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask a stupid question?" The Professor said, "Go ahead son, there's no such thing as a stupid question." The student said, "So you own the sky and universe and whatever plant is in alignment to your property on earth? Like, you own INFINITY?!?" The whole room was silent. Finally, someone in the front row asked the Professor, "you still think there's no such thing as a stupid question?" and the entire class rolled laughing.

As Buzz Lightyear once said, "To Infinity, and BEYOND!"

[SuAndBud]

Thanks again for some of the valuable input to what was never intended as provocative and certainly isn't silly to Yours Truly.

Wow.....

Silly?

Double Wow....

Provocative?

If I may respond:

To say "sillly" without knowing me, let alone being in my head, is condescending in the extreme.

To say "provocative" is to not know me at all and says far more about yourself and your take on life and particularly the lifestyle we share.

Sad for you guys.

I deliberately sought negative responses in order to substantiate and confirm my own negative thoughts on the matter, but you guys have taken it off the scale.

I'll try to be more careful in future when posting lest I inadvertantly make a silly &/or provocative remark.

Sincere thanks to the rest of you.

[lovinher]

I think there were some pretty good responses, some not. Nothing wrong with a provocative question either. Without them this board would be pretty boring. I thought it was a good question. I know lovinhim is not turned on by it in the least. Repulsed? No.

One thing...in your case the question was a waste of time. So which is it? Thinking about blowing the guy 24/7 or not? Why the BS?