...it's not easy to us!

saucysages02 · 10-30-2006, 06:35 PM

We are both bisexual novices, even though we're in our early 40s. We have enjoyed a threesome with a woman, but that's it so far. The next step we'd like to take is to have a threesome with a male in which, as part of the fun, the male member of our couple gets to engage in oral sex with the other male. We've heard that it's very easy to find such a partner, but since we're so new, it's not easy to us! Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Also a question: is it going to be irritating to people that we're going to go slow? We will have to meet someone before getting intimate, and it's probably not going to happen that same night. It will probably take one non-sexual meeting and several emails and/or a phone call or two before we would be able to decide for sure. How should we present ourselves so that people don't think we're messing with them, but that we just need to go slow? Is this going to be an issue?

**LikeMinds321** · 10-31-2006, 09:12 AM

Hi and

to the Board.

I have a different opinion about finding a bi couple, it will be more difficult because there aren't that many couples who are both bi, or at least those who mention it in their profiles. So be prepared for a long search.

Many couples like to exchange a few e-mails, and even a phone call, before they are ready to meet, even then they don't always play on the first meet. So I don't think you would be considered to slow or just "messing with them."

Are you using an ad site to meet swingers?

LM

BradAndJanet · 10-31-2006, 11:39 PM

Hey now, remember it's not a race.

Do you want to have sex with someone who doesn't respect where you're coming from? Didn't think so.

Go as slow as you are comfortable. Yeah, there are going to be people who are jerks. Toss 'em aside, 'cause they're not worth the trouble. Keep looking. I think you'll find somebody that will 'do it' for you with time.

-B

JacobSky · 11-01-2006, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BradAndJanet

Hey now, remember it's not a race.

Do you want to have sex with someone who doesn't respect where you're coming from? Didn't think so.

Go as slow as you are comfortable. Yeah, there are going to be people who are jerks. Toss 'em aside, 'cause they're not worth the trouble. Keep looking. I think you'll find somebody that will 'do it' for you with time.

-B

I agree with BradAndJanet.

Also, lower risk individuals may tend to be the type that would take it slow, while hasty people may be safer (risks for stds or problematic personalities). Personally, I would enjoy sex more with a woman that I took my time getting to know. Not all single males may feel that way, but I've experienced meeting with couples before and know what feels best for me, and hopefully for them.

I've seen ads where couples said such things like "we are serious and want to meet for sex on the first time and not just chit chat", but such things put me off. Those ads were not common, but did exist. They seem to be written by males. I feel that women would be less apt to request such things on an add. Not to pick at you guys, I'm a guy too, but some guys write demanding ads.

Do what you feel is right for you, and ask to take it slow and meet just to get to know each other first. Mention that you are not making any promises for having sex in the future by meeting in person, but if all agree things may go to the next level after after meeting with them.

HappyPeople · 11-01-2006, 12:33 AM

No worries... Finding a single, attractive, and decent bi-male isn't as easy as it sounds. We're currently seeking single bi-males too. A good bi-male can be as hard to find as a bi-female.

There are a number of married and cheating bi-males, bi-males that aren't attractive to us, and bi-males that have horrid profiles but the actual good ones are rare. Don't be suprised if it takes a little while.

The good news is, there are still good fish left in the sea.

Our advice:

Put up an ad specifically for bi-males. Describe what kind of man you are looking for. You will get a lot of emails, delete the ones that you are not interested in and respond back to the ones that you are. In your response, say that you are interested in having drinks or telephone conversation for a meet-and-greet to see if there is chemistry. A decent guy should have no problem spending an evening chatting with you to see if you all get along.

ShellyM · 11-01-2006, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saucysages02

We are both bisexual novices, even though we're in our early 40s. We have enjoyed a threesome with a woman, but that's it so far. The next step we'd like to take is to have a threesome with a male in which, as part of the fun, the male member of our couple gets to engage in oral sex with the other male. We've heard that it's very easy to find such a partner, but since we're so new, it's not easy to us! Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Yeah, you just need to make sure that you let them know that you are looking for male bi-play. Most men that I have seen are straight, but we have definately met alot of bi-curious men as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by saucysages02

Also a question: is it going to be irritating to people that we're going to go slow? We will have to meet someone before getting intimate, and it's probably not going to happen that same night. It will probably take one non-sexual meeting and several emails and/or a phone call or two before we would be able to decide for sure. How should we present ourselves so that people don't think we're messing with them, but that we just need to go slow? Is this going to be an issue?

Well, as long as you are completely straight forward from jump it won't be a problem, that way they have the option of saying I'm sorry, but thats not for us. If you fail to tell them that you need time, and they are there ready to play, and you say oh, well we aren't playing tonight there will be some possible hurt feelings and people being ticked off. Just being completely straight forward regarding that from jump is what you need to be. Don't start foreplay, and then decide to tell them that you don't play on the first meeting.

tribbles · 11-01-2006, 09:38 AM

We are also hunting and are expecting to find plenty of males claiming to be bi who aren't.....we have already read stories.

We already have found a zillion cheaters :rollseyes

Too bad none of us are close at all. A bi/bi couple would be best but I suspect that is harder than a unicorn to find.

In the first email exchange or chat, we are warning people of how slow we are going and I have even teased them it's a lot like a job interview.

And in play we want to start slow as well....we explain we want a bit more friendhship than a one night play time cuz to go where we want to go, is gonna take some trust between the guys and me.

Are you real specific about what slow means to you and why you are going slow?

S

crazycatz · 11-01-2006, 09:41 AM

We are both bi and are finding it a lot easier to find bi males and bi couples than single bi females who are willing to play.

Some men on the first email contact might pretend but when I ask if they are a top or a bottom the real ones rise to the top ;-)

freekynme · 11-01-2006, 10:08 AM

Where you are in GA there's plenty of bi males. I know because they used to hit on me all the time when we lived in GA. Whether they were actually bi or gay we never found since hubby isn't bi & not interested, but if you take your time & just chat with most guys either single or in a couple, you'll find a lot of them are bi. If I remember correctly there are some groups on yahoo in your area & around ATL that caters to bi males & bi couples. GL in your search.

prettylady · 11-01-2006, 10:17 AM

We arn't looking for a bi male or female but I love what jacobsky said. Take it slow and get to know the person you are thinking about playing with. Dog and I have done that and now I have no fears or inhabitions with being with these people.
This will be my first time swinging. and I took along time getting to know my new friends. It will make it better, I know it will.
Your friend,
Prettylady

nmgrrrl · 11-03-2006, 09:40 AM

i worried that i would move too slow for everyone. now as we meet some ppl i see that for the most part, no one is jumping in the sack at first meet (at least not anyone we would wanna play with anyway). most ppl we talk to understand i am new and just getting comfy, the ppl here have been great with info & avice.

my bi-curious side is slow moving too but hey, its a fun trip all the way.

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10-30-2006, 06:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
saucysages02 Registered User Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 1 Location: Georgia - Gwinnett County	New Couple in Gwinnett Co., GA We are both bisexual novices, even though we're in our early 40s. We have enjoyed a threesome with a woman, but that's it so far. The next step we'd like to take is to have a threesome with a male in which, as part of the fun, the male member of our couple gets to engage in oral sex with the other male. We've heard that it's very easy to find such a partner, but since we're so new, it's not easy to us! Any suggestions would be appreciated. Also a question: is it going to be irritating to people that we're going to go slow? We will have to meet someone before getting intimate, and it's probably not going to happen that same night. It will probably take one non-sexual meeting and several emails and/or a phone call or two before we would be able to decide for sure. How should we present ourselves so that people don't think we're messing with them, but that we just need to go slow? Is this going to be an issue?

10-31-2006, 09:12 AM	#2 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 Let's get comfortable... Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 8,629 Location: On the couch Status: Married to Mr LM	Re: ...it's not easy to us! Hi and to the Board. I have a different opinion about finding a bi couple, it will be more difficult because there aren't that many couples who are both bi, or at least those who mention it in their profiles. So be prepared for a long search. Many couples like to exchange a few e-mails, and even a phone call, before they are ready to meet, even then they don't always play on the first meet. So I don't think you would be considered to slow or just "messing with them." Are you using an ad site to meet swingers? LM __________________ There are so many more interesting ways to be than right. ~ Robert Rauschenberg

10-31-2006, 11:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
BradAndJanet Only slightly cracked... Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 7,071 Location: Seattle Status: Married Couple	Re: ...it's not easy to us! Hey now, remember it's not a race. Do you want to have sex with someone who doesn't respect where you're coming from? Didn't think so. Go as slow as you are comfortable. Yeah, there are going to be people who are jerks. Toss 'em aside, 'cause they're not worth the trouble. Keep looking. I think you'll find somebody that will 'do it' for you with time. -B __________________ "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain All about us...

11-01-2006, 12:33 AM	#5 (permalink)
HappyPeople Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 390 Location: Tampa	Re: ...it's not easy to us! No worries... Finding a single, attractive, and decent bi-male isn't as easy as it sounds. We're currently seeking single bi-males too. A good bi-male can be as hard to find as a bi-female. There are a number of married and cheating bi-males, bi-males that aren't attractive to us, and bi-males that have horrid profiles but the actual good ones are rare. Don't be suprised if it takes a little while. The good news is, there are still good fish left in the sea. Our advice: Put up an ad specifically for bi-males. Describe what kind of man you are looking for. You will get a lot of emails, delete the ones that you are not interested in and respond back to the ones that you are. In your response, say that you are interested in having drinks or telephone conversation for a meet-and-greet to see if there is chemistry. A decent guy should have no problem spending an evening chatting with you to see if you all get along. Last edited by HappyPeople : 11-01-2006 at 12:38 AM.

11-01-2006, 09:38 AM	#7 (permalink)
tribbles Fun and Pleasure Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 871 Location: SouthWest Status: Couple	Re: ...it's not easy to us! We are also hunting and are expecting to find plenty of males claiming to be bi who aren't.....we have already read stories. We already have found a zillion cheaters :rollseyes Too bad none of us are close at all. A bi/bi couple would be best but I suspect that is harder than a unicorn to find. In the first email exchange or chat, we are warning people of how slow we are going and I have even teased them it's a lot like a job interview. And in play we want to start slow as well....we explain we want a bit more friendhship than a one night play time cuz to go where we want to go, is gonna take some trust between the guys and me. Are you real specific about what slow means to you and why you are going slow? S __________________ Evel Knievel died of natural causes.

11-01-2006, 09:41 AM	#8 (permalink)
crazycatz Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 136 Location: ireland Status: Bi female	Re: ...it's not easy to us! We are both bi and are finding it a lot easier to find bi males and bi couples than single bi females who are willing to play. Some men on the first email contact might pretend but when I ask if they are a top or a bottom the real ones rise to the top ;-)

11-01-2006, 10:08 AM	#9 (permalink)
freekynme Active Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 72 Location: Germany Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:se_ga_deviants	Re: ...it's not easy to us! Where you are in GA there's plenty of bi males. I know because they used to hit on me all the time when we lived in GA. Whether they were actually bi or gay we never found since hubby isn't bi & not interested, but if you take your time & just chat with most guys either single or in a couple, you'll find a lot of them are bi. If I remember correctly there are some groups on yahoo in your area & around ATL that caters to bi males & bi couples. GL in your search.

11-01-2006, 10:17 AM	#10 (permalink)
prettylady anything boys can do.... Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,750 Location: Utopia Status: Trouble maker Swing Lifestyle Name:playtoys69 Blog Entries: 1	Re: ...it's not easy to us! We arn't looking for a bi male or female but I love what jacobsky said. Take it slow and get to know the person you are thinking about playing with. Dog and I have done that and now I have no fears or inhabitions with being with these people. This will be my first time swinging. and I took along time getting to know my new friends. It will make it better, I know it will. Your friend, Prettylady __________________ To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

11-03-2006, 09:40 AM	#11 (permalink)
nmgrrrl Active Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 42 Location: new mexico Status: couple	Re: ...it's not easy to us! i worried that i would move too slow for everyone. now as we meet some ppl i see that for the most part, no one is jumping in the sack at first meet (at least not anyone we would wanna play with anyway). most ppl we talk to understand i am new and just getting comfy, the ppl here have been great with info & avice. my bi-curious side is slow moving too but hey, its a fun trip all the way.

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