In swinging groups, are bi females like single males?

[FloridaFlirt]

Hi y'all...I help manage the membership for a local swing group made up of couples, single women and a very few select single men.

Lately, the couples that have been wanting membership are only looking for other bi females to play with rather than doing soft or full swap with another couple. This has made some of the men in our group rather grumpy, saying that a bi female who will ONLY play with other women is as bad as a single man in a swinging group.

I'm trying to find a suitable solution to this problem. Should I start screening each couple to find out what they are looking for, then accept or reject them based on that? Should I only let couples in that have a female who is willing to play with men as well as women?

I also have the same issue with some couples only playing with each other.....which makes me wonder WHY they want to be in a lifestyle group at all.....

I would appreciate any feedback you can give me on this.

Thanks in advance!

[Chicup]

As bad no, but annoying as hell for those of us who are into full swap.

[cuzzeyesaidso]

Well if she's a BI female then she obviously plays with both men and women. Maybe I'm not understanding something.

[ShellyM]

I have no idea what a good solution for this is. I am surprised, because most of the bi-women we have run into really enjoy couples, but perhaps I am lucky...you know, since we aren't really looking for unicorns we stumble over them all of the time lol. If we were looking for one we wouldn't be able to find them for the life of me. I don't know, perhaps screen exactly what they are looking for and put it out there so couples know right off of the bat that she is looking for female or male companionship only.

[FloridaFlirt]

Originally Posted by cuzzeyesaidso

Well if she's a BI female then she obviously plays with both men and women. Maybe I'm not understanding something.

I should clarify: These are women (usually the woman in a couple) that will not play with other men, just other women. But she will play with her male partner. In other words, couples that are only looking for another female but not another couple or another guy.

Many of our couples that come into the group don't play together in the same room--alot of them go pick a partner and go off with them. So the women that come that only play with other women suck up all the females in the group and leave NONE for the men.

Am I making sense?

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by Chicup

As bad no, but annoying as hell for those of us who are into full swap.

Dito

Screening for preference makes sense. If you have a bunch of couples who are primarily looking for MFM, then you can allow more single men in. If you have more who are looking for FF, then more girl/girl only women. If you have many men that want to actual play with other women, you should probably make sure there are plenty of women who want to play with other men.

A party is only as good as the sum of all the parts. If the math isn't working, the party probably wont either.

[FloridaFlirt]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

I have no idea what a good solution for this is. I am surprised, because most of the bi-women we have run into really enjoy couples, but perhaps I am lucky...you know, since we aren't really looking for unicorns we stumble over them all of the time lol. If we were looking for one we wouldn't be able to find them for the life of me. I don't know, perhaps screen exactly what they are looking for and put it out there so couples know right off of the bat that she is looking for female or male companionship only.

My partner and I were discussing this very thing--screening couples to find out what they are looking for, then based on their answer, giving them membership. We already do this with single guys "Sorry, but we are not accepting single men for membership at this time."

It is so difficult to keep everyone happy....

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

My partner and I were discussing this very thing--screening couples to find out what they are looking for, then based on their answer, giving them membership. We already do this with single guys "Sorry, but we are not accepting single men for membership at this time."

It is so difficult to keep everyone happy....

And the first rule girl: You will NEVER make everyone happy.
So, try to do your best for the majority of the people, and keep that in mind. People will complain no matter what you do.
But yeah, if a lady is looking for female only play I would put that on there....that saves her from wasting her time as well, since it must be frustrating to them as well.

[JustAskJulie]

Who are you trying to please? The single males? The couples who only want full swap? As many people as possible? Perhaps what you need to do is try to remind all of these people that everyone is into swinging for different reasons and looking for different things and with that in mind everyone is welcome (assuming you allow everyone). If a couple or a single comes to the party that doesn't want to do certain things then hopefully they will find another couple or single who is looking for the same thing they are, if they don't oh well. I don't think it's your job as a host to try to play match-maker and ensure that every person or couple who shows up is going to have another single or couple there that matches their interests. Even if you tried you couldn't do it - just because their interests matched wouldn't ensure that they actually hit it off and wanted to play.

[FloridaFlirt]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

And the first rule girl: You will NEVER make everyone happy.
So, try to do your best for the majority of the people, and keep that in mind. People will complain no matter what you do.
But yeah, if a lady is looking for female only play I would put that on there....that saves her from wasting her time as well, since it must be frustrating to them as well.

Apparently they aren't TOO frustrated--they are getting more pussy than the guys!!

Thanks for your help, Shelly!

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

Apparently they aren't TOO frustrated--they are getting more pussy than the guys!!

Girl, you are right! Jay has a lot of friends who are lesbians. His one friend told him and his braggart male friends that if they went out in one night together she would take home more women than THEY would!
And you know, I believe her!

[FloridaFlirt]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Who are you trying to please? The single males? The couples who only want full swap? As many people as possible? Perhaps what you need to do is try to remind all of these people that everyone is into swinging for different reasons and looking for different things and with that in mind everyone is welcome (assuming you allow everyone). If a couple or a single comes to the party that doesn't want to do certain things then hopefully they will find another couple or single who is looking for the same thing they are, if they don't oh well. I don't think it's your job as a host to try to play match-maker and ensure that every person or couple who shows up is going to have another single or couple there that matches their interests. Even if you tried you couldn't do it - just because their interests matched wouldn't ensure that they actually hit it off and wanted to play.

I was mostly trying to please the coupled men who are feeling left out (my own partner, for example) because the other women only want to play with other women.

I know it is unrealistic for me to try and please everyone, but when one of the affected ones sleeps in my bed at night it is a bit hard to ignore. And it is not just him, it is other coupled men being left by the wayside as their women go off to get pussy.

I wonder if I threw a FEMALES ONLY party every once in awhile if that would help things? Or would it add more fuel to the fire?

This is a GREAT discussion, BTW!

[good times]

I don't have an answer for you, but we have seen more of this lately at the clubs we go to, some nights it seems like the club is overrun with them. And I agree, it is no fun for the full swap couples or couples with a straight female like us. Usually with these couples thier husband won't play with women that aren't bi either, so then their is no one for either of us to hook up with.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by good times

I don't have an answer for you, but we have seen more of this lately at the clubs we go to, some nights it seems like the club is overrun with them. And I agree, it is no fun for the full swap couples or couples with a straight female like us. Usually with these couples thier husband won't play with women that aren't bi either, so then their is no one for either of us to hook up with.

I think its become the 'norm' in our age range right now.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

I wonder if I threw a FEMALES ONLY party every once in awhile if that would help things? Or would it add more fuel to the fire?

This is a GREAT discussion, BTW!

Well, it can't hurt!! Nothing like a girl's night out, I LOVE those!