In swinging groups, are bi females like single males?

[Sweet_Candy]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

I have found many women who are pretty darned selfish. I had a woman tell me just the other day that it didn't matter what her husband wanted, because "its all about me, anyways"....that REALLY turned me off to her. I see this alot in profiles, the "its all about me" attitude. I come from the old school I guess, I just believe that a man loves being made love to as much as a woman does, and if you make love to him he in turn returns the favor and you have a great sexual experience. I think that alot of people see men (including married men) as either a hindrance in the way of screwing the wife or just a tool for her to have an orgasm. I think that is sad, but true. With us, either we both play or neither of us plays, plain and simple.

Shelly we need more women with your attitude in the Lifestyle.

[clecouple]

I wouldn't mind coming home and finding my wife playing with another lovely female and they didn't want me to join in, But if we're at a club or at home and we are all naked then we all should have some fun! I agree if the girl just wanted to play with my wife it would be just like another guy there. I would be wanting to be sucked so bad or wanting to lick the other girl because she is there. I might "get blue" if you know what I mean! Of course, if another guy is there I can concentrate on my wife and not feel like I'm getting cheated because only my wife is licking me. facelick

[SexyDeuce]

We are full swap couple and both of us are very straight. The problems we've run into with bisexual women are that they are pushy and don't seem to understand what the words "I'm straight" mean when my wife says it ...

[dayhiker]

Well, this has been an interesting read. It looks like even in swinger where I've thought people must be pretty giving there is selfishness. One of the general themes I've read about woman is if a man gives a lot to her that she will just naturally give back to him.

It appears this isn't as true as people would like.

I also suppect that this bi thing is a phase that will change over time. Trouble is who konw if the change will be for the better or the worse. I'd like to see it that each partner looked out for the other. That's when I feel it works best.

dayhiker

[FloridaFlirt]

Originally Posted by dayhiker

Well, this has been an interesting read. It looks like even in swinger where I've thought people must be pretty giving there is selfishness. One of the general themes I've read about woman is if a man gives a lot to her that she will just naturally give back to him.

It appears this isn't as true as people would like.

I also suppect that this bi thing is a phase that will change over time. Trouble is who konw if the change will be for the better or the worse. I'd like to see it that each partner looked out for the other. That's when I feel it works best.

dayhiker

Well said, Dayhiker!

[28volts]

Late comment but, that is why you need to just post on your profile what you are looking for.Everyone wants something different.As long as they do not enter or push themselves on us I have no problem. As for the single guys, sorry but if your not what she's looking for then oh well, and if she is looking to play with just the wife, sorry ain't going to happen here. It's as simple as that , tell them no. I read the profiles and screen them with bifem that love playing alone.Look only for couples that swap.Only other suggestion I have is, make another site that caters to bi women.

[Tybee Swing]

I'm kind of put off by the direction of this thread, a sort of bi-bashing. There's a stereotype being repeated here over and over that "bi women are pushy". Can't we at least say that some bi women are pushy, just as there are many straight men that are very pushy (both married and single), as well as people of other persuasions, too? I know plenty of extremely non-pushy bi women, including myself.

Originally Posted by dayhiker

I also suppect that this bi thing is a phase that will change over time.

Yes, one day, we'll all go back into the closet and hide. For your information, many bi people have known they're attracted to their own sex, at least somewhat (many of us are more hetero than not), from a very early age. But sure, we'll just get over it someday. It's just a phase we're going through.

Originally Posted by 28volts

I read the profiles and screen them with bifem that love playing alone. Look only for couples that swap.

What do you do with a profile where the couple swap, and she may be interested in meeting a woman alone? Just because she may want to meet a woman alone from time to time (and her husband wants that for her, too), does not mean she's going to try to get your wife alone, especially if your wife is straight. Yes, you have the right to eliminate anybody you wish, but you might be eliminating very nice people who swap, just because she would sometimes enjoy the company of a reciprocating woman.

Originally Posted by 28volts

Only other suggestion I have is, make another site that caters to bi women.

I'm not sure I get what your joke means, but it sounds like you're saying, segregate the bi's off to their own website and leave you straights alone.

[bill&sabrina]

Originally Posted by dayhiker

I also suppect that this bi thing is a phase that will change over time.

That sounds pretty general. It may be a phase for some, but not all. Believe it or not some of us actually like sex with the same sex.

Bill

[Happypair]

I (male half) think most of us agree that straight, bi, and almost any combination of letters: mfmf, mfm, fmf, mm, ff, or whatever are legitimate in this day and age, provided everyone is straightforward up front and nobody goes home feeling they were excluded from the action. We are relatively new (two years) to swinging, but represent what now seems to be the minority: the traditional straight/straight full-swap couple.

My suggestion to the OP: load your group up with as many of us as you can find, especially us older, not-so-pretty couples; we don't cause anybody any trouble. We believe in equality: everybody gets to play. We're past the Ken & Barbie bullshit; we're after people, not plastic. And we are SECURE. We understand that sharing is a two way street: if i'm boinking your wife, you're entitled to enjoy mine.

Single males are legitimate, provided you screen out the assholes and balance their numbers to the number of couples (or single women) who have indicated an interest in mfm's. I define assholes as that segment who think swinging is a free sex banquet and our wives are all sluts just waiting to pleasure them. No, it's a pot-luck supper, dipshit; you want a dish, bring a dish.
The group that I suspect is throwing things out of kilter (and wailing the most) is the couples with bi-fems crowd. We have run into three sub-groups here. 1) Full-swap couples where bi action is optional (we have had several good experiences with such couples as they have respected our non-bi boundaries). 2) Full-swap couples where bi activity is expected (we decline and all part friends, respecting each others' different wishes. 3) The bi-fem couple who want only the elusive single bi-fem, and not finding that, want a bi-fem couple, providing the husband doesn't mind sitting on his ass and watching. That, I think is where the numbers don't add. And that, i think, is where most of the complaining comes from: "I won't share my wife with other men, and we can't get any action because of all these selfish bastards who won't share their wives either."

There are, of course, women swingers who strictly on their own choose only to be with other women but to let their husbands share those women. More often I suspect, like the little newbie who posted earlier, it's "this is what I want because my husband tells me this is what i want."

Just my highly prejudiced opinion; take it with a grain of salt.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Happypair

We have run into three sub-groups here. 1) Full-swap couples where bi action is optional (we have had several good experiences with such couples as they have respected our non-bi boundaries). 2) Full-swap couples where bi activity is expected (we decline and all part friends, respecting each others' different wishes. 3) The bi-fem couple who want only the elusive single bi-fem, and not finding that, want a bi-fem couple, providing the husband doesn't mind sitting on his ass and watching. That, I think is where the numbers don't add. And that, i think, is where most of the complaining comes from: "I won't share my wife with other men, and we can't get any action because of all these selfish bastards who won't share their wives either."

I appreciate the way you differentiated between several of the common types of couples in which there is a bi, socially bi, or bi-curious wife. There are many degrees, many variations, many couples who feel that the bi activity is optional and full-swap is always on the menu. I appreciate you pointing out this fact. Many people would throw the baby out with the bathwater instead of looking more closely at what the couple is about.

[EvilMJ]

I kinda jumped into reading this a little late but I think Tybee Swing said exactly what I was thinking. Not everyone who is bi is pushy and we are not going to 'change our minds' about our orientation any time soon. I think it is just like anything else and we need to judge each situation/person by their own merits.

[good times]

Tybee and EvilMJ make some good points, it seems to us as a straight couple that it is a case of a few bad apples screwing up the whole barrel. I think it is human nature to try to lump people into groups. It is kind of like the single male thing, probably most of them are alright guys, but a few bad ones unfairly give all of them a bad name. Bi-females are the same way, we know far more of them that are respectful towards straight couples than ones that are not, yet their are a few that just make us apprehensive about all of them. Sadly, because of the few bad ones, we find we are wary of any new bi-females until we get to know them. It is kind of like they have to prove their innocence before we are willing to open up and relax around them. Is that fair? probably not, but after a few bad experiences I think it is understandable why a lot of straight couples feel this way.

[freekynme]

Just gotta put my 2 cents in. Im a non-pushy selectively bi female in a full swap only couple. What that means is Im not bi with all women due to sexual attractiveness or lack of & respect straight females. We also believe that if we meet a couple & things work out then we all play. Maybe its me, but I dont get the men watching the women only unless thats specifically what they want. Personally I love watching my hubby play with a woman while Im playing with her partner.

[FloridaFlirt]

It's so awesome that this thread is continuing!!

I appreciate all the responses to this--it has given me much food for thought, and I have even made a decision or two based upon this thread.

Always open to hearing more thoughts on this!

[Tybee Swing]

Hi FL Flirt, that's very interesting. What decisions have you made based on this thread?

On a completely different matter, I wonder if you'd give me your input in this thread? I'd love to hear from you and any other Floridians!