In swinging groups, are bi females like single males?

[FloridaFlirt]

My fear is that the women who will only play with women will cause the straight men and women to stop coming. Then all the parties will be just a big lezfest. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

[Additude]

Hummmm,

If you have a small membership then you run that risk. Every club has the same problem, what offsets it is the number of people.

How about having a "No Bi" night as well as a "Bi" night?

Of course you could tell all the guys to stop complaining and get with the program and get Bi heheheheh.

[Sweet_Candy]

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

My fear is that the women who will only play with women will cause the straight men and women to stop coming. Then all the parties will be just a big lezfest. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

Been reading this and shaking my head and wondering where and when did swinging become so rampant with married lesbians? We have seen this scenario in the clubs and the house parties we've been too and have wondered is it worth it to stay in the lifestyle with so few couples actually swapping? Would go as far to say it is the majority in the lifestyle in our area.

[Annaiis]

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

I was mostly trying to please the coupled men who are feeling left out (my own partner, for example) because the other women only want to play with other women.

So you (and all those other women with partners who are feeling left out) are leaving him sitting on the sidelines while you go off and play with other women??

There's no reason why you can't, and in fact I think you SHOULD, flirt/dance/play with your OWN partner at a swingers club. It can serve two purposes 1) it will make your partner happy because he loves flirting/dancing/playing with you whether or not he ends up playing with anyone else (right?) and 2) it will show those other women by example just how hot and sexy and a turn-on your partner is, and that in itself can attract other women's attention. What my husband and I have found is that the more WE enjoy ourselves as a couple (making sure to appear open to others "joining" us of course), the more attention we BOTH get from everyone.

Annaiis

[HappyPeople]

Although we're a bi/bi couple, we're getting bored of all the "play with ladies only" couples. We've recently decided that we're doing no more of the ladies play without full swap.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

Hi y'all...I help manage the membership for a local swing group made up of couples, single women and a very few select single men.

Lately, the couples that have been wanting membership are only looking for other bi females to play with rather than doing soft or full swap with another couple. This has made some of the men in our group rather grumpy, saying that a bi female who will ONLY play with other women is as bad as a single man in a swinging group.

Hi FloridaFlirt, the first thought that came to my mind is that many, many couples who are new in swinging are looking for this, at first. They're usually looking for a woman to have a FMF threesome with, for the woman to explore her bisexual curiosity with. I see nothing wrong with this, but it does tend to be an early phase. It was the first phase for my hubby and I, too. Then, the couple discovers how incredibly hard it is to find attractive single females for a threesome, and they move on to couples.

There might be swingers who stick with this as their one-and-only choice in swinging, too. I've seen lots of profiles written something like this: "We are looking only for WOMEN. I already have a man who is great, so I don't need that." Again, this is reflective of the idea that they're just trying to explore her bisexuality and/or have a threesome, nothing more. I think very often it's the husbands in these cases don't want another man on their wife, any more than she wants another man other than her husband. Does that make sense?

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

This has made some of the men in our group rather grumpy, saying that a bi female who will ONLY play with other women is as bad as a single man in a swinging group.

I don't get this, because your group does have single men allowed there. And the husbands in this group think this is a bad thing? I believe there is room for all sorts of preferences in swingers' clubs/groups. Variety is the spice of life, and there are many styles in swinging. I think that husbands complaining about a couple looking only for FMF threesomes sounds like sour grapes. They saw a woman, they wanted her, she didn't happen to want them, so they're making bitter comments. "Rejection" is just something to learn to accept in swinging, and move on maturely to the couples that are there to swap.

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

I also have the same issue with some couples only playing with each other.....which makes me wonder WHY they want to be in a lifestyle group at all.....

I don't see anything wrong with exhibitionist couples. Some don't want to play with others for a variety of reasons. For one, it's 100% safe sex to only have contact with your own partner. They love the openly sexual atmosphere without wanting to get into the pile. I get it, why some couples would be into this. This doesn't offend me, either. I like watching others have sex. I like having sex with my own husband at swing clubs. We do have sex with others too (provided we've met a couple that we BOTH are interested in). But personally I wouldn't have and don't have a problem with couples that have sex only with their own partner, being in the mix.

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

I'm trying to find a suitable solution to this problem. Should I start screening each couple to find out what they are looking for, then accept or reject them based on that? Should I only let couples in that have a female who is willing to play with men as well as women?
I would appreciate any feedback you can give me on this.

Thanks in advance!

I think it's not a bad idea at all to ask what people are looking for when you're interviewing them for membership. But, no, I wouldn't accept or reject them based on it, unless just about everyone coming in wasn't going to mix sexually with others.

The on-premise club we've been to has name tags with stickers. The name tag accomplishes several things. For one, your partner's name is on your name tag, in smaller print, so others can tell right away who you're there with. There are colored stickers on your name tag, too...as many stickers as the individual chooses to put on. The stickers mean different things and are easily identifiable by the members there. One means bi, another means straight, one means soft swing only, one means full swing, another means no-swing (maybe they're just getting started, need to get familiar first, or maybe they're an exhibitionist couple/no swap). The sticker system tells everybody at a glance, with the first hello, what each individual is into. A gold star sticker means it's the couple's first visit to the club. Would that help you out?

Let us know what you do and what works!

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Sweet_Candy

Been reading this and shaking my head and wondering where and when did swinging become so rampant with married lesbians? We have seen this scenario in the clubs and the house parties we've been too and have wondered is it worth it to stay in the lifestyle with so few couples actually swapping? Would go as far to say it is the majority in the lifestyle in our area.

Dito

Its become annoying to the point we don't bother much anymore. It seems the majority of swinging in our age range (30's) is the married lesbian group.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Dito

Its become annoying to the point we don't bother much anymore. It seems the majority of swinging in our age range (30's) is the married lesbian group.

Really? I daresay I don't know a single just-want-the-ladies-to-play couple. Hmmmm....I'll have to start paying more attention.

Pepper

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

Really? I daresay I don't know a single just-want-the-ladies-to-play couple. Hmmmm....I'll have to start paying more attention.

Pepper

Could be location, could just be the crowd, but we see a ton of it here.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Could be location, could just be the crowd, but we see a ton of it here.

We see it too... It is weird how cultures differ from region to region.

Spoomonkey

[Annaiis]

It's very prevalent here too.

Annaiis

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

Really? I daresay I don't know a single just-want-the-ladies-to-play couple. Hmmmm....I'll have to start paying more attention.

It could be that everyone (who is in their right mind) would want to play with you, Pepper

I mean - you know - WOW! - and all...

Spoomonkey (the not-so-subtle)

[WildMiCouple]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Could be location, could just be the crowd, but we see a ton of it here.

We don't see it as much around here. Although we run into many couples with the wife bi, most of these women enjoy full swap. But then, it could be our 40's age group too

Brett

[Sweet_Candy]

Pepper is one of my favorite spices. facelick

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by WildMiCouple

We don't see it as much around here. Although we run into many couples with the wife bi, most of these women enjoy full swap. But then, it could be our 40's age group too

Brett

Us, too. We're also in our 40's and most of our contacts are about mid-30's and up. We've rarely seen this "married lesbian" thing that people are talking about.

There was one houseparty one time that was all just girl/girl flirt stuff and nothing else going on, though. Got boring to us. What we did about it: hubby and I started going at it with each other! That seemed to get things moving along. Later, there was more hetero stuff going on.

Maybe if the party or club is boring people with the kind of activity (or lack thereof) going on, it's time for them to take the reigns and just get the party started!