Bi expierences

[Playingnow]

Not sure if this is were to ask this.

My husband wants me to have a Bi-sexual expierence. I'm not sure why I would want to do this. Yes there I am curious what it would be like but on the NO side, why would I want to do this. Any ladies tell me why they like this and what it is like to do this?

We haven't tried anything in the lifestyle yet. But I have become more aroused thinking about MFMs, FFMs, and sharing from soft to full. Just scared to try I guess. The thought of being with another woman has me confused between pleasure and being deamed as gay. Or am I off on my thinking?

[EvilMJ]

You shouldn't want to have a bi-experience unless YOU want to, not becuase your other half wants you to. It is a common situation and in the end if you are forced into something, especially if you aren't sure about it in the first place, then it will be something you will regret.

My advice is to find another bi curious couple, let them know that you may at some point be interested in some play with the other woman but don't set a date or anything, leave it open. If the situation is such that you are comfortable with the idea and are enjoying it then fine, but if it still doesn't feel right, then don't.

Just becuase I enjoy bi sexual play for what ever reason, it is not going to be a reason for you to do it. You have to ask yourself if you are attracted to women at all, are you interested in any sort of same sex experiance (or are you doing it for your husband). Don't be pressured or feel like 'just beacuse other people are doing it, I should be doing it too".

Oh BTW - having sex with another women doesn't automatically make you gay. I am bi - but I prefer men.

[ohash01]

I agree with MJ...don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. However...you said you're curious, then you tossed in a fear of being deemed as gay. Are you avoiding it out of fear? Or out of disinterested?

I think there are different "levels" of sexual preference. I am probably 80% straight and 20% gay. I like other women...I am attracted to other women...I will play with other women, but I don't think I'd ever be comfortable in a romantic relationship with one.

Now for your "why"? And I am answering this as myself...not necessarily as a good advice giver or as you want to hear it. Because it's fun. Because women are beautiful and soft and sexy. Because it gives you the opportunity to explore other "options". Because it satisfies curiosity. I could go on, but you get the idea. There are many "whys" and if you choose to have a bi-curious experience, I'm sure you'll have your own.

[Playingnow]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

You shouldn't want to have a bi-experience unless YOU want to, not becuase your other half wants you to. It is a common situation and in the end if you are forced into something, especially if you aren't sure about it in the first place, then it will be something you will regret.

My advice is to find another bi curious couple, let them know that you may at some point be interested in some play with the other woman but don't set a date or anything, leave it open. If the situation is such that you are comfortable with the idea and are enjoying it then fine, but if it still doesn't feel right, then don't.

Just becuase I enjoy bi sexual play for what ever reason, it is not going to be a reason for you to do it. You have to ask yourself if you are attracted to women at all, are you interested in any sort of same sex experiance (or are you doing it for your husband). Don't be pressured or feel like 'just beacuse other people are doing it, I should be doing it too".

Oh BTW - having sex with another women doesn't automatically make you gay. I am bi - but I prefer men.

Yes it was my husband who wanted it at first. And yes I didn't want anything to do with it. But I realize that I get excited when he mentions it. For that reason I was wondering what and why having a bi expierence is so special to those who have had one. I kindof want to do it but am confused if I really want it or if it is just a fantasy I haven't decided on yet.

I read about it and wonder what and why it is so special to these other women.

[MrsVan]

Originally Posted by Playingnow

Yes it was my husband who wanted it at first. And yes I didn't want anything to do with it. But I realize that I get excited when he mentions it. For that reason I was wondering what and why having a bi expierence is so special to those who have had one. I kindof want to do it but am confused if I really want it or if it is just a fantasy I haven't decided on yet.

I read about it and wonder what and why it is so special to these other women.

Playingnow,

Whatever you do, don't do this because of what he wants, do it because YOU want it as everyone else has said. I was the same as you, MrVan would have loved to see me with another woman because he had a fantasy for it. I had thought about it in the past but wasnt sure if it was something I would act on. But then after much thought after getting into the lifestyle, I realized that this is something I would love to persue, even if it is something I would decide I would never want to do again. I was confused like yourself and had said to myself that there was no way I could do it. But the more I read about it, the more I saw pics of woman together it made me want to try it even more.

So we had my first experience and wow, I actually enjoyed it. facelick It is not something that is a must and is not something that I need to have all the time, but it is a bonus. I LOVE men, and could not go a day without a man in my life to please me the way that they do.

I truely find woman very sexual and there are woman I look at and say "Wow, I would do her" because she holds her self with confidence and has that sexual appeal. Woman are soft and the woman's body is very intriguing. Being with a woman is an amazing experience, but yet I would not have to have it and when we look for couples it is not a requirement of the lady. If the lady and I click and both have that attraction to each other, then oh yeah you bet I will give it a try with her.

MrsVan

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Playingnow

Yes there I am curious what it would be like but on the NO side, why would I want to do this.

Well... I suppose you would want to do this because you are curious...

That seems to be the reason most people try such things. So if you are curious - my question is: "why wouldn't you want to try it?"

I agree with everyone above - do it for you or don't do it at all. But, you have sort of answered your own question as to why you would do it.

Mrs Spoo is like Mrs Van - she can play bi, and does enjoy it when it happens with the right person, but it isn't a "must" or anything she actively looks for. And I never push the issue. Yes - it is a fun visual - but I don't really think about it. If it happens, I certainly enjoy the show.

One of the things that I like the most about it is that - like everything is swinging - she is doing what she enjoys. She is doing it for her (and her playmate) and she has total control over the experience. It is not simply hot because she is doing it - it is hot because she wants to

Spoomonkey

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Playingnow

Not sure if this is were to ask this.

My husband wants me to have a Bi-sexual expierence. I'm not sure why I would want to do this. Yes there I am curious what it would be like but on the NO side, why would I want to do this. Any ladies tell me why they like this and what it is like to do this??

Okay girl, number one. Now, jmo. However, you cannot truly enjoy anything if you are doing it because your husband said to do it, or to please him. Sex is about pleasing others, of course. But you have to be enjoying yourself as well. Nothing would be a bigger bummer to me than to be playing with you, and realize that you don't want to be doing it in the first place, you are just pleasing your husband....in my mind it would make it almost "dirty" and would be insulting in a way. Thats just me. If you want to try a bi experience it has to be because you are interested in doing it. Myself? I am willing to play, and I have fun at it. But in all honesty I consider myself to be straight. I can't help it, I love men! I am just not aroused by the soft touch of a woman, I adore men. I love their bodies, everything about them....and men with dark hair and dark eyes are like kryptonite to superman! lol. But seriously, I think all men are fine, especially a certain unnamed somebody from Allentown, Pennsylvania. So, I tell the ladies straight up that I am not bi-sexual, but I have fun playing. We had a lot of fun playing with a girl last month. Just be honest with yourself, her and your husband.

And being scared to try is okay! I have talked to ladies who thought this...some of them met the lady without the hubby present, and they were able to relax more and really enjoy themselves. Then they really knew if bi was something they wanted to continue or not.

Best of luck!

[EvilMJ]

Originally Posted by Playingnow

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I read about it and wonder what and why it is so special to these other women.

It is special to someone who is bisexual becuase (and of course I can only speak for me here) I have always had an attraction to women, I can remember early one wondering if there was somethign wrong with me because I found myself admiring a woman's body from a sexual point of view. I knew I wasn't gay becuase I am more attracted to men, but there was definately something there.

If you want to experience it for yourself then have to decide what is the attraction for you? You need to start slow, trying kissing another woman, if that does nothing for you, then you have your answer. If you do enjoy it, then perhaps you may consider a little further exploration.

Just be upfront and honest with the people you are playing with, let them know you are just curious at this point and are not ready for straight FF action, you need some time to explore it and find out if this is something you are going to want to do.

It's not a matter of 'all the other kids are doing it, so it must be fun' mentality, it should be - 'this is something I find sexual arousing and would like to find out if it is something I might enjoy'.

You will pretty much know after your first same sex encounter, whether or not you are truly bisexual and enjoyed it, or that is just isn't you and you are straight.

There are lots of straight women in the lifestyle and they are all having a good time, do what works for you and don't allow anyone to pressure you.

[clutch]

1. I agree that you should not do anything you don't want to do or are not comfortable doing. It sounds like you can talk about it, but just have no real interest in trying it. If hubby gets too pushy, could you say something like, "Hon; you know I really love you and you're the sex stud of the universe, but could we please back off on this one right now? We can think about it and bring it up in 6 months or so." (Or whatever else you want. If you were happening to be touching him just right when you said the "Hon, you're the sex stud..." bit, he'd probably agree to anything.

2. In regard to where your husband is coming from, a lot of women have written about their bi-sexual experiences, and it's not too hard to research the web to find insights on why women do what they do. If you notice, in general men and women alike enjoy female with female porn. And if you notice, most guys and most women do not enjoy men with men porn.

This would suggest hard-wiring components; ie nature being a more predominant factor than the nurture.

Someone has said, "We're all a little bi."

As far as someone saying, "You're gay...." Just be careful with whom you wish to experiment. While I've known several women that made it a point to let the world know they were gay, most bi's I encounter prefer to be discreet-- one would never have a clue. Personally, I'm very attracted to bi women and have no prejudice towards them for that.

[nmgrrrl]

The first experiences i had were more or less becuase he wanted it. needless to say it wasnt all that fun for me. fortunately it was with grrrlfriends i felt comfortable with so it want a psyche scarring thing. now, i am in good relationship with patient loving man and we are talking about these things. i feel completely different now. i am fascinated by by attractive women and imagine how it would be to enjoy time with another cpl.
for me, the interest now comes in the thought of making love with someone who knows deeply what it feels like for a grrrl. i think the sold feeling i have with my man made the difference

[DBL D]

Fem D has expressed and actually shown interest in other ladies. However, sometimes we get into these discussions where she'll say to me: "You want me to be bi, don't you?" I always tell her no, that she is the one who decides who she will play with. I have no feeling other than wanting her to give herself up to her feelings...when she feels the time is right. It's never been something that has broken a deal. If the other lady is comfortable with just swapping, things go on.

Never feel like you have to do anything because your husband, or partner, wants it. Now that doesn't mean that you can't discuss what you are both looking for and how to handle that. Some of those discussions may determine your future in the lifestyle, as far as what you will be doing with other couples, more than the other.

Male D

[Tia Vampire]

I feel you girl. My boyfriend wants to see me with a girl too, and i don't know if i could do it out of the fear i would feel totally gay. To each his/her own, but it just is'nt me. I want to fulfill his fantacy, but i don't know if i could do it convincingly.