Does wanting to see your wife with another man, mean you are bi?

[rw53aust]

While reading through a posting on here, I came across someone's theory that guys who enjoy their wife having sex with someone else are, in reality, closet homosexuals- regardless of if they now it or not. Which leads me to consider why I enjoy her having sex with others, male or female. For me its quite simple, I love to see and hear her enjoying herself - she is quite vocal and graphic, when enjoying sex. (We only indulge in same room swinging) Which leads me to my question. How do other guys feel knowing that their wife has another man in her embrace and do they want to try having another guy? I know I sure dont. LOL

[sereneiders]

"Some times, a cigar is just that... a cigar."

I may agree that certain cases, i'd say typically those fitting the "cuckoldry" lifestyle, it MAY be possible that the guy is a closet homosexual, but not because of the sexual aspect of sharing his wife by itself, but because of how this is being symbolized, and you may tell (AGAIN, NOT ALLWAYS) there is a "profile" you can recognize because they share the same symbols. As an example (and again, those examples isolated doesn't configure the profile) you may say that a guy claiming his wife lovers are "better" in some aspects (better endowed, better lover, more stamina) is "envying" those lovers and he MAY (or may not) be translating to his wife the feelings he would like to feel himself but cannot admit. You can hear husbands telling they're "forced" to perform with other males (prepare the lovers, clean them up afterwards, clean up the creampie), i.e., doing (or fantasizing) things that in other contexts would be deemed as bi or homosexual activities.

And again, these are just clues that require a lot more in order to actually tell if the guy is a closet homosexual or not.

In any case, your comment reminds me of the ones made by people right after "finding out" psychoanalysis, either because they started a therapy that works for then (where there is a "transferring" process between the patient and the therapists, something pretty close to an act of faith), or because they're studying psychology and some concepts just blow their heads, and they want to apply those concepts to every behavior they see around. The newbie, the writter who's being paid to fill up the voids in the newspaper use to do the same: generalizing without so much of a solid ground, where they find a case fitting the explanation they generailze it.

This is like saying, if you have a cold, it is very lilely to have a headcache, so someone makes the generalization telling "then, if you have a headcache, then you have a cold". Now, if you have headcache, you have fever, your throat hurts... you have to think of the chance of having a cold... it's likely, however, you may have a lot of diseases sharing the same symptoms.

So, from my experience, I may say several "cuckolds" I know of share a set of "tastes" that have to do with HOW they share their wifes, and I may say I am pretty sure they're closet homosexuals. This doesn't entitle me to claim everyone sharing those tastes are closet homosexuals, altough theis may hive me a hint about the posibility that I shouldn't ignore. And the absolute denial of the chance from those guys (when they don't even are up to explore this posibility) is another hint that increase the chance.

[fun4Ds]

maby i'm diffrent, but seeing mrs.fun with another man, dosent feel anything like being homosexual/gay. i can honestly say that im not gay in any way.so far in my 43 yrs, i have never felt any bonds. sexual or emotional with a man. it just hasn't happen. if its not there, its not there, plain and simple. yea i'v explored the possibilities with an open mind and found out im not gay/bi.actually found out along the way that i have nothing to fear with people who do feel diffrently.gay/bi

what i have found is that with swinging/ swapping /threesoms (mfm) its a gift.

a gift of sexual freedom. not something that can be purchased or compared with material things. memories that will probably never be forgotten. to see your partner with someone els enjoying themselvs,being able to be themselvs as a person. exploring their sexualities.and enjoying the gift.

whats wrong with seeing things that way ?

and there is nothing wrong with recieving that in return in my book .

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by rw53aust

While reading through a posting on here, I came across someone's theory that guys who enjoy their wife having sex with someone else are, in reality, closet homosexuals- regardless of if they now it or not.

Yeah - that guy was an asshole...



We have a ton of gay friends, and let me tell you, if I were a closet gay I'd not be wanting for opportunity. One of my friends last night (we go to a weekly gay bowling league which is a hoot - and I like all things "hoot".) told me that I just didn't know what I was missing. I agreed that I didn't and told him that I never would because "I'm just not half the man you are."

He laughed and we moved on with bowling, drinking and the eating of nachos.

When I am watching Mrs Spoo with someone else (usually I am right in there playing and not really watching, but when I am) I am watching her - not the guy. She is a performer in bed - a non-stop flirt and a "buy in" artist. It is a spectacle not to be missed!

I know when the performance is an easy one (i.e. her playmate is awesome) and when she is doing something Oscar-worthy.

She is sexy as hell and being able to watch her from a different perspective drives me wild for HER - which is why we do this anyway.

Spoomonkey

[JP51]

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by JP51

I don't think it's very fair to assume that this person is a troll. Yes the person who posted the theory originally may have been, but just because someone brings up a topic that they read elsewhere and wants to re-examine it doesn't make them a troll. Now if he was the one coming here swearing that if you like watching your wife you must be into men... I might have a different attitude.

[Roman Hands]

Does it matter?????....I'm a bi-male. Soooooooo....BFD. I enjoy my beautiful wife AND, if I'm lucky, a good looking guy. Do we "slam" bi-women???...How many of you "studs" can't stand the sight of two women having sex with each other???

Judging is for courtrooms and county fairs!

I'm as much a man as any "hetero" and I've literally got the battle wounds to prove it. It just so happens that I appreciate a handsome guy. And if he is giving my wife a "fantastic" time, I'm watching "the greatest show on earth"!!!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Roman Hands

Does it matter?????....I'm a bi-male. Soooooooo....BFD. I enjoy my beautiful wife AND, if I'm lucky, a good looking guy. Do we "slam" bi-women???...How many of you "studs" can't stand the sight of two women having sex with each other???

Ummmm...

Which post on this thread "slammed" bi-men?

Some of us simply said we weren't by. We aren't judging anyone by ourselves... But, that's okay, because we have all the facts on that particular subject

Spoomonkey

[rachan]

I don't consider myself a closet homosexual or even bi sexual but I like knowing that my wife is receiving sexual pleasure and gratification. I'm not a homophobe either and in some of our mfm encounters there has been contact between me and the other man but no sex between two males.

Andy

[JP51]

Julie, I stand corrected....should have added I was agreeing with the posting of Spoonmonkey. Will be more careful in the future.

[Amanda69]

hmm lets think about this, if I were a gay male, would I wantto be watching any woman having sex???? Even if it is with a guy, that would most likely be a total turn off....

Watching my female partner have sex with someone else is simply about watching her and her enjoyment....it is like your own homemade porn movie with her as the star....

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Amanda69

hmm lets think about this, if I were a gay male, would I wantto be watching any woman having sex????

Actually, it is not that uncommon. We have a very good friend who is gay (much to Mrs Spoo's dismay) and he enjoys gay porn and straight porn. And he has a thing for boobs.

He is completely gay - Mrs Spoo keeps begging - but watching straight porn still turns him on.

So - my opinion is that it is far more likely that a gay guy will enjoy watching a woman have sex than it is that a man who likes to watch a woman have sex is gay...

I hope to impress folks with my long postulate...

Spoomonkey

[rw53aust]

I wish i had been able to read JP51's post, but that isnt to be. My comment about gays, open or closet, wasnt meant to be derogatary, it was a lead in to my question " How do YOU feel about your wife having sex with others"? Hell, my wife is very bi and she would have my balls if i started slinging any mud LOLOLOL

[doctoroctagon]

I'm not interested in males in any way, but I just think the act of the female having 2 males or sleeping around is just bad (and a major turn on).. Perhaps the same way some women are drawn towards the bad-boy guys who are always cheating on them etc..

It's just hot.

[Roman Hands]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Ummmm...

Which post on this thread "slammed" bi-men?

Some of us simply said we weren't by. We aren't judging anyone by ourselves... But, that's okay, because we have all the facts on that particular subject

Spoomonkey

I haven't seen a post here slamming bi men. And I didn't say that I had. My apologies to all and anyone who believed I did.

And certainly no offense to anyone on this board expressing their personal preferences. In fact, individual likes and comforts, sans "labels", is exactly the point of my post.

Perhaps my fault was in my lack of literary diplomacy.