Am I Bi or not?

ComePlayWithUs · 06-02-2006, 02:45 AM

I had a ff experience 10 years ago. I liked kissing her & sucking/licking/playing with her breasts/nipples. I didn't like going down south though. I also enjoyed everything she did to me including when she went down. Lately, I've been attracted to women's bodies & thinking about touching another woman, playing with her tits, & her playing with me. Although the thought of her eating me makes me real hot & wet, I don't think I want to eat a woman myself. I don't know if this makes me bi- curious or not. I sometimes think maybe I'd be willing to try, but then I think maybe not. Any thoughts?

Amanda69 · 06-02-2006, 08:06 AM

There are so many different variations on sexual attraction between the sexes and within ones own sex. It is up to you to define for yourself which you feel you are, if indeed you even need a definition.

A truly bisexual person from my understanding though has thoughts of not only sex but also relationships with both sexes.

I often use the term bi curious for myself. Given the right female at the right time I will play...women in general I have no sexual interest in.

2jersey · 06-02-2006, 08:58 AM

Kinsey states that we all lie on a continuum of zero to six, where six represents a total homosexual and zero is totally heterosexual. Kinsey believes that most of us lie between one and five with very few, if any, zeros and sixes. Using Kinsey's framework, someone who is rated a 'three' (the gender-blind) would certainly merit the label of bisexual. 'Zeros' and 'sixes' are very easy to label (straight/gay). Those who are rated 'one' will probably identify with their heterosexuality and the 'fives' will most likely consider themselves to be 'gay'.

The 'twos' and 'fours' are the most difficult to label and it seems that a large portion of female swingers fit into this category. Our female is a two (some preference for men) and clearly identifies with the bisexual label. Although she is selective in choosing her female sex partners this does not, in our opinion, alter her level of bisexuality. It is understood and expected that a bisexual female does not want or expect to have sex with all women. Also, ‘romantic orientation’ has nothing to do with sexual orientation – you can be bisexual yet desire romance with only one gender.

On this board, people tend not to adhere to any strict guidelines when applying labels and there is a very liberal acceptance of denial. With respect to female bisexuality – we choose to think that a female is bisexual if she consciously desires sex with women, has previously acted on this desire and has intentions of repeating her actions. Beyond this, you have personal wiggle room in determining which modifier, if any, you want to apply to the term ‘bisexual’ (bi-friendly, bi-situational, bi-curious, etc…).

We think bi-curious is a transitional zone for most female swingers – although it might be applicable in your case (at least for now). Bi-friendly, bi-comfortable and bi-compatible are terms which have a reluctant tone, but they are popular among some female swingers (who only desire female sex in the context of group sex which involves males).

DGrey · 06-02-2006, 09:26 AM

I hate labels.

I'm married to and in love with a man but absolutely love having sex wtih a woman as well.

E

Chicup · 06-02-2006, 09:51 AM

The types of Swinger Female Bisexuality as experianced by the Chicup's.

Bisexual: Would be just as happy to have sex with a woman as a man, attracted to both and can have long term relations with both.

Bi-curious - Maybe I had some bi experiance, maybe not, but I'm not turned off by the idea in general. Might be a cover by me not wanting to say they I'm bisexual since I was taught it was icky. Quite possibly I put it in the profile to fit the 'norm' which is a bisexual woman in swinging. I will often let others do to me, but will not do to others, unless its the icky thing in which case I will do to others, but maybe I'll feel guilty about it later.

Socially Bi - I'll flirt and we can kiss at a club in public but I'm not really interested beyond that.

Bi-husbanded - My husband wrote our profile and wants me to be bi, but I really don't want to do it, but he keeps pushing and pushing and pushing. If he doesn't stop it I'll tell him I'll do it but only if he sucks someones cock first.

Bi-furious - I'm like so outrageously bi that you would think my husband is just the bouncer or maybe a waiter. I'm loud about it, often times obnoxious about it with women who don't really want it. I'm most likely drunk, or at least will use that as an excuse. I will tell you how hot you are and how much I'd like to suck your tits while ignoring that your husband exsists.

Married Lesbians - Well I have the kids, and the husband, but something is missing. Why don't you guys watch while we have fun, k?

(Just in case anyone wants to take exception to anything here it was mostly in jest

)

sexyshelby · 06-02-2006, 10:05 AM

I like Chicup's definitions.

Honestly though, do you think of yourself as bi or bi-curious? I have seem women that will have sex with women, but don't consider themselves bi.

Personally, I dont like labels...you are who you are. Do what you feel comfortable with and nothing more. Make sure you discuss this with your partners prior to play.

~SS

MoonLightKiss · 06-02-2006, 10:38 AM

I agree with most here, I hate labels. Why can't it all just be called fun? LOL If I had to put a label on me, it would probably be bi-curious. When I was single, I did not look for women, but men. But with my husband, being involved in swinging, and the right woman, I would have to say I would jump in.

My advice, don't get hung up on labels. Do what you and your partner are comfortable with and if you must have a label, call it fun.

2jersey · 06-02-2006, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicup

The types of Swinger Female Bisexuality as experianced by the Chicup's.... (Just in case anyone wants to take exception to anything here it was mostly in jest

)

Love those Chicup.

You may have been jesting, but each of your descriptions brought at least one particular person to mind.

stillconsiderin · 06-02-2006, 02:01 PM

comeplaywithus,you have sumed up my exact feelings on this matter!
My husband loves to watch me with a lady no matter what happens with her.I on the other hand have always been attracted to a beutiful lady,they turn me on! But the thought of going down on her has always scared me.Even tho I like to kiss and touch her.I did try once it was a bad experience and hard to overcome.Now I am very shy with ladies in this regaurd.How do I overcome this if ever?How do I share this with other ladies that may want to play without ofending them?
I would be greatful for any thoughts or help on this subject.
Thanks,
With HUGS & KISSES
The LADY of STILL

TeamSoBe · 06-02-2006, 02:15 PM

My wife was absolutely fascinated with women for a few years when she first started to try them. Then the novelty kind of wore off and she's back to spending almost all of her horizontal time with men. Now she's a new one on the Chicup List:

Bi-Diplomat: Flirts with other women when we meet new couples and is thrilled to be part of an all-girl pile on the floor when the action starts. Has sex with each new woman at least a little bit as an introduction and to dispel tension and jealousy. Doesn't love it or hate it, thinks of it as somewhere between masturbation and 'real sex'. Then demands cock for the rest of the night. May only have sex with each woman once, or only as often as necessary to stay on friendly terms. Focuses mostly on men in the long term.

biblonde · 06-02-2006, 03:34 PM

Chicup...great list!!

I myself am BI...that is how I see it anyway. I am attracted to women and love playing with them in every way. Although I love playing with men also (they are my favorite!!) Someone who just wants to play a little with women I would call curious. But really who needs labels...you are whatever you feel you are. You should never do any more than you feel comfy with just to fit into a "label"

Tybee Swing · 06-02-2006, 05:29 PM

Great thread and so timely for us!

The last couple we met were an aggressive male and passive female. The male had written her profile as "socially bi" (I thought that meant that with the right person/right time/swing setting, they would enjoy it). In IM's, he told us she was "bi-passive" and wasn't into it, but if I kissed or fondled her, she wouldn't mind (she'd tolerate it).

OMG, that would make me feel like a molester, making moves on a woman with so little bi interest!

When we met in person, I felt pretty sure she was a straight arrow with no shades of bi at all. Nothing wrong with that, but I hate the dishonesty in representing who they were!

The fact is, we DO need labels for the many shades of bi-ness, because of adult ads where you specify it, and trying to meet people who are more suited to our interests.

Tybee Swing · 06-02-2006, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ComePlayWithUs

I had a ff experience 10 years ago. I liked kissing her & sucking/licking/playing with her breasts/nipples. I didn't like going down south though. I also enjoyed everything she did to me including when she went down. Lately, I've been attracted to women's bodies & thinking about touching another woman, playing with her tits, & her playing with me. Although the thought of her eating me makes me real hot & wet, I don't think I want to eat a woman myself. I don't know if this makes me bi- curious or not. I sometimes think maybe I'd be willing to try, but then I think maybe not. Any thoughts?

I think that you are interested in being on the receiving end (a passive role) and interested in being with a woman who's on the giving end, and more actively bi than you are.

Bi-curious, in my opinion, normally means a person that thinks about it but hasn't actually done it yet, and doesn't know if they really would be into it once it happens, but they're willing to find out.

I think that you're bi-passive or bi-receptive.

Tybee Swing · 06-02-2006, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stillconsiderin

I on the other hand have always been attracted to a beutiful lady,they turn me on! But the thought of going down on her has always scared me.

What is it that scares you about the thought of going down?

poster_guy03 · 06-02-2006, 06:11 PM

This thread caused me to give more thought to labels than I have before. I understand how people can be uncomfortable with their use. I'm not crazy about labels either. Very few people like to be stereotyped, that's a restriction on the uniqueness we each have as human beings.

Ultimately, I believe the use of labels has it's roots in science. The study of human sexuality is a multifaceted science (psychology, sociology, biology, etc.). One of the practices of science (especially biology) is to classify. Classification normally entails the use of labels (asexual, heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual).

This train of thought led me to the origination of the term at

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality :

"The term bisexual was coined by botanists c. 1809. It originally applied to plants that had both male and female sex organs.[citation needed] It was not known when the term was first applied to the context of sexual orientation."

So what kind of specimen are you?

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06-02-2006, 02:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
ComePlayWithUs Registered Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 3 Location: Nanakuli	Am I Bi or not? I had a ff experience 10 years ago. I liked kissing her & sucking/licking/playing with her breasts/nipples. I didn't like going down south though. I also enjoyed everything she did to me including when she went down. Lately, I've been attracted to women's bodies & thinking about touching another woman, playing with her tits, & her playing with me. Although the thought of her eating me makes me real hot & wet, I don't think I want to eat a woman myself. I don't know if this makes me bi- curious or not. I sometimes think maybe I'd be willing to try, but then I think maybe not. Any thoughts?

06-02-2006, 08:06 AM	#2 (permalink)
Amanda69 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 907 Location: Mississauga, ON Canada Status: couple	Re: Am I Bi or not? There are so many different variations on sexual attraction between the sexes and within ones own sex. It is up to you to define for yourself which you feel you are, if indeed you even need a definition. A truly bisexual person from my understanding though has thoughts of not only sex but also relationships with both sexes. I often use the term bi curious for myself. Given the right female at the right time I will play...women in general I have no sexual interest in. __________________ Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. "Harvey Fierstein"

06-02-2006, 08:58 AM	#3 (permalink)
2jersey Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 489 Location: ~~~ Status: Couple	Re: Am I Bi or not? Kinsey states that we all lie on a continuum of zero to six, where six represents a total homosexual and zero is totally heterosexual. Kinsey believes that most of us lie between one and five with very few, if any, zeros and sixes. Using Kinsey's framework, someone who is rated a 'three' (the gender-blind) would certainly merit the label of bisexual. 'Zeros' and 'sixes' are very easy to label (straight/gay). Those who are rated 'one' will probably identify with their heterosexuality and the 'fives' will most likely consider themselves to be 'gay'. The 'twos' and 'fours' are the most difficult to label and it seems that a large portion of female swingers fit into this category. Our female is a two (some preference for men) and clearly identifies with the bisexual label. Although she is selective in choosing her female sex partners this does not, in our opinion, alter her level of bisexuality. It is understood and expected that a bisexual female does not want or expect to have sex with all women. Also, ‘romantic orientation’ has nothing to do with sexual orientation – you can be bisexual yet desire romance with only one gender. On this board, people tend not to adhere to any strict guidelines when applying labels and there is a very liberal acceptance of denial. With respect to female bisexuality – we choose to think that a female is bisexual if she consciously desires sex with women, has previously acted on this desire and has intentions of repeating her actions. Beyond this, you have personal wiggle room in determining which modifier, if any, you want to apply to the term ‘bisexual’ (bi-friendly, bi-situational, bi-curious, etc…). We think bi-curious is a transitional zone for most female swingers – although it might be applicable in your case (at least for now). Bi-friendly, bi-comfortable and bi-compatible are terms which have a reluctant tone, but they are popular among some female swingers (who only desire female sex in the context of group sex which involves males).

06-02-2006, 09:26 AM	#4 (permalink)
DGrey Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 386 Location: Exit 13A Thank you very much! Status: Married Female Swing Lifestyle Name:DGrey	Re: Am I Bi or not? I hate labels. I'm married to and in love with a man but absolutely love having sex wtih a woman as well. E __________________ Erika & Dino i like your body...i lke what it does, i like its hows...i like kissing this and that of you. -- e.e. cummings

06-02-2006, 09:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
Chicup Not a potential *** Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 2,442 Location: Under the bed Status: Tired	Re: Am I Bi or not? The types of Swinger Female Bisexuality as experianced by the Chicup's. Bisexual: Would be just as happy to have sex with a woman as a man, attracted to both and can have long term relations with both. Bi-curious - Maybe I had some bi experiance, maybe not, but I'm not turned off by the idea in general. Might be a cover by me not wanting to say they I'm bisexual since I was taught it was icky. Quite possibly I put it in the profile to fit the 'norm' which is a bisexual woman in swinging. I will often let others do to me, but will not do to others, unless its the icky thing in which case I will do to others, but maybe I'll feel guilty about it later. Socially Bi - I'll flirt and we can kiss at a club in public but I'm not really interested beyond that. Bi-husbanded - My husband wrote our profile and wants me to be bi, but I really don't want to do it, but he keeps pushing and pushing and pushing. If he doesn't stop it I'll tell him I'll do it but only if he sucks someones cock first. Bi-furious - I'm like so outrageously bi that you would think my husband is just the bouncer or maybe a waiter. I'm loud about it, often times obnoxious about it with women who don't really want it. I'm most likely drunk, or at least will use that as an excuse. I will tell you how hot you are and how much I'd like to suck your tits while ignoring that your husband exsists. Married Lesbians - Well I have the kids, and the husband, but something is missing. Why don't you guys watch while we have fun, k? (Just in case anyone wants to take exception to anything here it was mostly in jest )

06-02-2006, 10:05 AM	#6 (permalink)
sexyshelby It's not easy being easy. Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,012 Location: In Bed Status: Person	Re: Am I Bi or not? I like Chicup's definitions. Honestly though, do you think of yourself as bi or bi-curious? I have seem women that will have sex with women, but don't consider themselves bi. Personally, I dont like labels...you are who you are. Do what you feel comfortable with and nothing more. Make sure you discuss this with your partners prior to play. ~SS __________________ What's love got to do with it?

06-02-2006, 10:38 AM	#7 (permalink)
MoonLightKiss Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 406 Location: Kentucky Status: Couple	Re: Am I Bi or not? I agree with most here, I hate labels. Why can't it all just be called fun? LOL If I had to put a label on me, it would probably be bi-curious. When I was single, I did not look for women, but men. But with my husband, being involved in swinging, and the right woman, I would have to say I would jump in. My advice, don't get hung up on labels. Do what you and your partner are comfortable with and if you must have a label, call it fun.

06-02-2006, 02:01 PM	#9 (permalink)
stillconsiderin Active Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 24 Location: lake city Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:stillconsiderin	Re: Am I Bi or not? comeplaywithus,you have sumed up my exact feelings on this matter! My husband loves to watch me with a lady no matter what happens with her.I on the other hand have always been attracted to a beutiful lady,they turn me on! But the thought of going down on her has always scared me.Even tho I like to kiss and touch her.I did try once it was a bad experience and hard to overcome.Now I am very shy with ladies in this regaurd.How do I overcome this if ever?How do I share this with other ladies that may want to play without ofending them? I would be greatful for any thoughts or help on this subject. Thanks, With HUGS & KISSES The LADY of STILL

06-02-2006, 02:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
TeamSoBe Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 507 Location: South Beach, Florida Status: M. Half of Couple	Re: Am I Bi or not? My wife was absolutely fascinated with women for a few years when she first started to try them. Then the novelty kind of wore off and she's back to spending almost all of her horizontal time with men. Now she's a new one on the Chicup List: Bi-Diplomat: Flirts with other women when we meet new couples and is thrilled to be part of an all-girl pile on the floor when the action starts. Has sex with each new woman at least a little bit as an introduction and to dispel tension and jealousy. Doesn't love it or hate it, thinks of it as somewhere between masturbation and 'real sex'. Then demands cock for the rest of the night. May only have sex with each woman once, or only as often as necessary to stay on friendly terms. Focuses mostly on men in the long term. __________________ i love everybody. you're next.

06-02-2006, 03:34 PM	#11 (permalink)
biblonde Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,020 Location: sacramento Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:curious1918	Re: Am I Bi or not? Chicup...great list!! I myself am BI...that is how I see it anyway. I am attracted to women and love playing with them in every way. Although I love playing with men also (they are my favorite!!) Someone who just wants to play a little with women I would call curious. But really who needs labels...you are whatever you feel you are. You should never do any more than you feel comfy with just to fit into a "label"

06-02-2006, 05:29 PM	#12 (permalink)
Tybee Swing wild at heart Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 1,837 Location: coastal Georgia Status: couple	Re: Am I Bi or not? Great thread and so timely for us! The last couple we met were an aggressive male and passive female. The male had written her profile as "socially bi" (I thought that meant that with the right person/right time/swing setting, they would enjoy it). In IM's, he told us she was "bi-passive" and wasn't into it, but if I kissed or fondled her, she wouldn't mind (she'd tolerate it). OMG, that would make me feel like a molester, making moves on a woman with so little bi interest! When we met in person, I felt pretty sure she was a straight arrow with no shades of bi at all. Nothing wrong with that, but I hate the dishonesty in representing who they were! The fact is, we DO need labels for the many shades of bi-ness, because of adult ads where you specify it, and trying to meet people who are more suited to our interests.

06-02-2006, 06:11 PM	#15 (permalink)
poster_guy03 Here to Stay Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 45 Location: Ohio Status: Single	Re: Am I Bi or not? This thread caused me to give more thought to labels than I have before. I understand how people can be uncomfortable with their use. I'm not crazy about labels either. Very few people like to be stereotyped, that's a restriction on the uniqueness we each have as human beings. Ultimately, I believe the use of labels has it's roots in science. The study of human sexuality is a multifaceted science (psychology, sociology, biology, etc.). One of the practices of science (especially biology) is to classify. Classification normally entails the use of labels (asexual, heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual). This train of thought led me to the origination of the term at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality : "The term bisexual was coined by botanists c. 1809. It originally applied to plants that had both male and female sex organs.[citation needed] It was not known when the term was first applied to the context of sexual orientation." So what kind of specimen are you?

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