Straight/Bisexual Relations

[2jersey]

We’ve noticed that most couples who swing include a female who is bisexual (to some degree). Couples with straight women are far less prevalent.

Without getting hung up on labels – We’re using the term ‘bisexual’ (in this context) to describe any woman who sometimes desires sex with women, has previously acted on such desire, and has intentions of repeating her actions.

Question for couples with straight females (or anyone who has insight as to their general mindset): Do you prefer playing with couples with straight females, or are you equally open to meeting a couple with bisexual female for straight play?

The question in reverse: Do couples with bisexual females shy away from couples with straight females?

And the question turned on it’s side: How do couples with a straight man feel about playing with a couple which includes a bisexual man?

[DGrey]

I term myself bisexual even though I hate labels. I love being with women just as much as I love being with men. And yes, we do tend to sway more towards couples where the female is open to female/female interaction. We actually had a straight couple accuse us of basically telling them that they would never get to play with anyone unless the wife was bisexual. All we said was that we prefer to play with couples where there presents the option for FF play. Part of the excitement that both Dino and I get froms swinging is me being able to have some FF fun. It's quite a turn on for both of us.

Dino is not homophobic by any means and while I find the thought of two men interacting quite erotic and hot, he's not into it at all. We've done the DP so there have been those times when male parts have touched or whatever but it's never been intentional. We were approached by a couple where both were bisexual and we opted not to play with them not for fear (on Dino's part) but for the simple fact that unfortunately, bisexual men carry a greater risk for STDs, specifically AIDS, as a condom's strength isn't as great when used anally as it is vaginally.

Yes, we realize we takes risks swinging but we don't want to intensify those risks if we can avoid it. I've probably made no sense as it's summer vacation for me already and I've just woken and have not had the proper amount of caffeine and/or Red Bull yet.

E

[Chicup]

Ahhh the question of the dreaded ‘double standard’. It shows up every so often and in many different guises. I can predict this thread, even though the ‘bi male’ question is more of the after thought, will degenerate into such a thread. Some will complain it’s a double standard, some will say they thought swingers would be more open, some will tell you about how much they like to watch MM activity.

Well to the main questions. Mrs. Chicup is ‘mildly’ bi. Bi activity is not her main reason to swing, so for us a straight couple is just fine. I’d call her ‘socially bi’ rather then fully bi. Right woman, right time, sure.

Because of this we have had issues with couples with bi-furious females. If your main reason to swing is female bisexual activity, and the males are just the afterthought, we are not very interested (and they lose interest with us too).

Now for the loaded question. We will not play with a couple with a bi male. It’s a horrible, evil, double standard, I know, but its really not our ‘thing’. I could go into why but those would just lead to more posts about how unfair, narrow minded, repressed, yadda yadda we are. This isn’t just me the Mr’s point of view, but Mrs. Chicup as well, in fact she is even more against it than I am.

[WesternSwing]

Mrs. WS is a bi-female, and she has no problem playing with couples with a straight female because it's not all about Mrs. WS getting her groove on with another girl. Now for some couples it may be all about that, but with most all staight/bi couples we know it isn't and they also don't have any problem playing with a straight/straight couple.

We have also played with couples that have a bisexual male though I'm not bisexual. They have never made a move on me and have always respected our boundries.

I would say for many swinging isn't all about bisexual activity (although the shock media might have you believe differently), it's simply a part of it and if it happens then great. I guess the beauty of being bi is that you can have fun either way, huh?

Mr. WS

[CB_n_Red]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

Question for couples with straight females (or anyone who has insight as to their general mindset): Do you prefer playing with couples with straight females, or are you equally open to meeting a couple with bisexual female for straight play?

We're both straight. It's no problem for us playing with couples with either bi females or bi men, as long as boundaries are respected, which they usually are.

The only problems we've ever had with this has been when the other (bi) fem has decided that she can convert Red. Big mistake!

You're not wrong - straight swinging females seem to be nearly as rare as those unicorns....

CB

[Sweet_Candy]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

Question for couples with straight females (or anyone who has insight as to their general mindset): Do you prefer playing with couples with straight females, or are you equally open to meeting a couple with bisexual female for straight play?

We are both straight and yes Candy has tried GOG and found it did nothing for her. We are always open to playing with a another couple's female being straight or bisexual. However it has been our experience if the ad reads bisexual then sex with the man is an afterthought. The first question we ask is will it be fun for all if only straight play is involved...weeds out the GOG crowd quickly. If the ad reads bi-furious we don't even bother.

Originally Posted by 2jersey

And the question turned on it’s side: How do couples with a straight man feel about playing with a couple which includes a bisexual man?

Have not met a couple with a bi-male yet so we can't say.

[NandTfromCA]

Do couples with bisexual females shy away from couples with straight females? Nope. If the other female is bi and there’s mutual attraction, that’s just a bonus. It’s just one more way to play (well…maybe if we pull out the toy bag it presents several more ways to play).

How do couples with a straight man feel about playing with a couple which includes a bisexual man? You will find much more aversion to bi men. Like CB said, as long as everyone is respectful and understanding of boundaries, we will play with whomever we are attracted to.

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by Sweet_Candy

...our experience if the ad reads bisexual then sex with the man is an afterthought. The first question we ask is will it be fun for all if only straight play is involved...weeds out the GOG crowd quickly. If the ad reads bi-furious we don't even bother.

That brings up an interesting point.

Rather than asking the sexual persuasion, profiles could have two columns:

Here’s us:
1. Sexual necessity- MF Soft Swap
2. Other sexual possibilities- FF, MFM, FMF, MF Full Swap

As long as you fit somewhere between necessary and possibly, we are good to go.

A couple with bi-furious (that term is too funny ) female might look like this:
1. Sexual necessity- FF
2. Other sexual possibilities- MF Soft Swap

No labels. Just what you want.

We tried to accomplish the same thing by stating that N "loves women but loves men even more." Even though N is labeled as bi, it hasn't appeared to discourage the straight girls.

[EvilMJ]

I'm bisexual and I have no problem playing with a couple with a straight female. Western Swing pretty much summed up my point of view.

Straight, bi, purple monkies..firefly lovin maniacs (you kno who you are )..it's all good to me.

[2jersey]

Originally Posted by Chicup

If your main reason to swing is female bisexual activity, and the males are just the afterthought, we are not very interested ...

This comment strikes a chord with us...

Shortly after joining Swing Lifestyle, we had an encounter with a couple whose sole objective was female play (males present, but clothed and sidelined). The woman was very attractive to Mrs 2jersey, and the ladies had a very erotic experience.

The next day, without thinking, we accepted a profile certification from this couple and provided them one in return. A couple of weeks passed before we realized that people were linking to this couple through our profile and we had become typecast as a couple for whom female play was a primary objective. It seemed like every message we received mentioned some desire for female play with men watching. We did not get involved with swinging solely for lesbian play.

At first, we tried to compensate by rewording our profile to make our male-female play objectives more pronounced, but we ended up sounding too choreographed, so we dropped this approach. Ultimately, we deleted our certification (which has apparently offended the other couple), but we're still struggling to get the bisexual female monkey off our back (figuratively speaking ).

[VanHlebar]

MrsVan listed herself as straight when we first got started. She had never had any type of GOG encounter before and wasn't sure if she would enjoy it. Since we got started she has had a few encounters and has decided to change her profile from straight to either bi or soc bi. (Yes she decided this not me )

With that being said, we do not really look at a couple to see what the sexual preference is and decide to contact them or not. If the lady is into other ladys then that is great, if not well that is ok also. If the guy were bi, yeah we most likely would say no, but it depends. We look at each couple and make and make our descions based on that couple, not just their sexual preference.

As others have stated, if the boundaries are set ahead of time and respected, there aren't going to be many issues.

-Van

[Couple_N_Ark]

We don't mind meeting a couple (or single person) who proclaims themselves to be bi or straight. The only person we would not meet is someone who proclaims themselves to be gay or lesbian.

We have absolutely nothing against someone being gay or lesbian, but we are simply looking for someone who is going to be fun for both of us.

As long as the other person(s) we are meeting understands that we're a bi(optional) female and a straight male, and they respect what we are, we're cool with it.

Maybe I should explain the bi(optional) comment. Lisa is bi, but by no means does she require the other lady to be bi, although she prefers it. We have met couples where there was no interaction between the women, and we all had fun.

We also meet a local single lady who has no desire to be bi. SHE LOVES MEN...but she has no problem with Lisa performing oral on her. She just doesn't do anything to Lisa...maybe some touching...and Lisa has no problem with her not reciprocating with oral on Lisa.

Lisa LOVES men, but also loves to perform oral on women....so she has done that more than once if the other "non-bi" lady is ok with it.

I (Jayson) could care less if a man if bi or not. As long as he understands I'm straight. I'm not homophobic or anything. I've participated in DP (in past relationships), and I've also had a man touch me before. I simply moved his hand away and things went on as they were.