Bisexuality VS. Homesexuality

***JustAskJulie*** · 11-08-2000, 12:01 PM

Personally, I am bi.. why cut myself off from enjoying half of the population. That doesn't mean I am going to fall in love with a woman (but I might), that does mean that I enjoy sex with both men and women (but in my case probably with men a little bit more).

I think to many people the difference between the two is that if you are homosexual there is more than just attraction it is about romantic involvement with someone of the same sex. Personally, I don't see how there is anything wrong with this.

Some people look at relationships from the procreation standpoint. I don't. With that in mind there is no difference between my relationship with my husband as their would be if I fell in love with another woman and chose to spend the rest of my life with her. My husband and I have no plans or desire to have children. Even so in this day and age with adoption and suragacy even a homosexual couple can have children.

Please share your opinions on this (just remember to do so without slamming anyone elses).

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

LIZA · 11-08-2000, 03:31 PM

I think most or all people are inherently bisexual to some degree. Just that many do not act on it and probably are not even aware of its potential.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with being Homosexual, Bisexual or Heterosexual.........Bi and Homo people are not out to convert anyone, there is nothing that Hetero people have to fear! In the general population, that fear may be somewhat expected, but in the swinging commuinty where tolerance and exploration are supposed to be good thing, I just don't understand it!

I guess because Swing Clubs are private clubs they are able to discriminate in their membership and only allow Bi women, not Bi men. I realize there are not that many men who are practicing bisexuals, but still seems a shame to me that they are treated this way

***JustAskJulie*** · 11-08-2000, 04:16 PM

While I dont agree with the inherently bisexual statement. I do think that it is something that everyone should at least allow the thought of. Even if the thought comes back negative.

As for swing clubs, you are right it is a private club. There are two reasons tho that they can and do discriminate on who they do and don't allow in... and this applies not just to bisexual men but to single guys and in some clubs to all singles.

Most clubs are formed for one of two reasons:
1) So that the people forming the club can find people to swing with and make friends in the lifestyle.

2)To make money.

Either way, the club itself has to do what will work best for them. If they choose to keep bi males or single males or all singles out of the club they do so because that is what the patronage of the club desires. If they allowed single men into the club (or bi men) and that made the couples who attended (couples being the main focus of MOST swing clubs) uncomfortable, then the couples would stop attending. If the couples stopped attending then they would be left with what? A club full of guys.. which doesn't leave much of a swinger club.

There are swing clubs out there that are geared more towards the single male and those couples who are looking for single males/ gangbangs, etc. One club that I can think of is the Fox Hole in CA. There are also clubs that are aimed at bi couples, just as their are clubs aimed solely at soft swingers (Club Relate in FL).

In my opinion the clubs that are the smartest are those that appeal to all people but have different nights set aside for each so that those who are not comfortable with single men around don't have to fight them off, or those that are not comfortable with bi guys around don't have to worry about the possibility of getting hit on by a guy.. Gypsy's in FL is like this and there are others.

The key to clubs is not to just assume that they are all the same, but to check around and find the one that fits what you are looking for. If you don't find in close enough to you.. then why not think about starting your own parties or club. Invite the people you feel comfortable partying with.

It's all about doing what works for you.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

11-08-2000, 07:33 PM

Homosexuality versus Bisexuality.

To me, there is a world of difference. I firmly believe that homosexuality is the effect of the enviroment, and not a natural aspect of humankind. I do not for a moment think that anyone is 'born' homosexual. I have seen too much other evidence that proves otherwise to me. A same sex couple (male or female) says to me that this person has very serious issues in dealing with their own sexuality, and therefore 'becomes' gay.

Bisexuality on the other hand, is when a heterosexual person chooses to open him or herself up to a larger range of sexual variations and possibilities.

To me, Homosexuality is an illness and should be treated as such. Bisexuality is an informed choice and totally acceptable.

And that's what I think. Feel free to disagree.

Husband of CyberMWCouple

11-08-2000, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
....In my opinion the clubs that are the smartest are those that appeal to all people but have different nights set aside for each....

Now THAT makes more sense, and sounds like a GREAT idea! :-D

Wife of CyberMWCouple

watcherone · 11-09-2000, 01:02 AM

Husband of CyberMWCouple:
I cant agree that homosexuality is an illness.I feel that homosexuality is a normal sexual type as are heterosexuality and bisexuality. I think that men have some kind of phobia about homosexuals, they may be afraid of being "attacked" by a homosexual or maybe it just doesnt fit into their idea of sexuality. After all, a homosexual is missing having sexual experiences with a woman. I cant understand why we men cant accept homosexuality as just another type of person, just different from us.
Why do men get off seeing two women having sex but the thought of two men together turns us off. I admit it doesnt excite me in the least but I am not afraid of homosexuals and have had homosexual friends that are no different from my straight friends. I respect their sexuality as I hope they respect mine. I think our world has too many hangups and this is a big one.As it has really just become acceptable to admit to being homosexual, I think time will change alot of ideas we have of that lifestyle.
This is my own oppinion and I respect everyone else to have and express their own oppinion.

LIZA · 11-09-2000, 02:21 PM

Homosexuality is an ILLNESS??

Ok I am going to be very FAIR and not attack anyone personally. I have just not heard that view expressed by anyone except for Dr Laura and Pat Buchanan!

Life IS all about choices......My dearest friend is a Bi/gay man who was married to a woman for 7 years, and is now in a serious commitment to a man (hopefully soon they will be allowed the same rights as heterosexuals and be allowed to marry) He has tried sex with women many times (he is 39 years old)but he PREFERS it with a man...........if they ever break up maybe he will go back to women but I doubt it , he seems to be happy being homosexual.

For myself, I have always been Bi, I have had a lot of sexual experiences with women, 2 real relationships with a woman but I find EMOTIONALLY I am better able to relate to a man in a relationship. Sexually I can relate equally to either sex.

So since I was in a "gay" relationship at some point, althought I am married now, I guess I too was "diseased"? But I guess now I am "cured"

There is really NO difference in Homo and Bi sexuality in principle.....You have sex with someone of the SAME sex, you are are engaging in HOMOSEXUAL behaviour! Bi describes being able to HAVE sex with male or female but the behaviour is always Homo or Hetero. So I guess all the females in the swinging lifestyle who are engaging in homosexual sex are diseased too! Oh my!

My personal opinion: EVERY sexual preference should be completely accepted, it should make no difference in employment, military service, etc. It is a nonissue. To label something like 8-10 percent of the population as "diseased" is just wrong.

I am honestly, RESPECTFULLY, surprised someone with such a conservative opinion would approve of this lifestyle, much less participate in it.

***JustAskJulie*** · 11-09-2000, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LIZA:

I am honestly, RESPECTFULLY, surprised someone with such a conservative opinion would approve of this lifestyle, much less participate in it.

I'm not really that surprised.. considering the number of swingers I have encountered that are completely racist.. which I dont understand either. Different people open their minds to different things. And often circumstances change people's minds about things.

I can think of many opinions I have held in my life that I look back on now and think how wrong I was. There was a time when I was completely homophobic.. to the point where when I found out that one of my best friends from high school was bi I wouldnt' even walk next to her.. I think at the time it was a fear she might hit on me.. although now I think that perhaps I was afraid of my own feelings. I think that in reality I was attracted to her.

Much of our opinions about things come from what we have been taught throughout our lives. I grew up in church (very strict baptist) being taught that pretty much everything was wrong (from dancing to rock music to holding hands with someone you weren't married to). There were a few things that they tried to teach me that I never bought.. but much of that had to do with what I was taught at home. They tried to tell me that interracial relationships were wrong.. that one I never got, never agreed on. But many others I did agree on. I believed that if you were married and had sex with someone else that you were commiting adultery, and I believed that homosexuality was wrong. Funny tho, at the same time.. the entire time I was dating I cheated on almost every guy I dated. Yet in my head I always told myself that when I found the right guy the desire to have other guys would go away. I was willing to give that up for my husband.. luckily I didn't have to.

My point in all this rambling is two fold:
One it is very easy to see how someone can be open minded to one thing and close minded to something else.
Two, often circumstances will change our opinions on things..

Either way we have to respect other people's opinions even when we don't agree with them.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

11-09-2000, 06:07 PM

Where I grew up, born AND raised....There's a GREAT deal of race mixtures and sexual relationships (race & preferences), we ARE the "melting pot" of melting pots (the state that I grew up in)!

Inter-racial marriages exist in my family. No big deal.
Gay relationships exist in my family. No big deal.
I hung out with friends, some of whom were BEST friends, who were homosexual AND bisexual, gay friends, lesbian friends, tranvestite friends, inter-racial couple friends, ALL types of relationships, and the list goes on and on...There were NO "homophobic", or whatever, thing about it, because we ALL acccepted & respected EVERYONE'S choices & preferences! NO BIG DEAL!

BUT, when we make our own sexual preferences, state/share our own opinions here, and JUST because it differs from someone else's choices and opinions...It becomes a BIG deal! Now why is that?! HHhmmm....

Thinking back....I wouldn't doubt, that our parents/grandparents/and THEIR parents were swinging before our time! No big deal.

Just because our families & friends were in the different "types" of relationships there is, doesn't mean that WE had to do the same thing, following in THEIR footsteps...Again, it was NO big deal.

It's OKAY to be different, and have different ideas & choices, etc., as long as we're all mature enough to respect AND accept everyone's differences...No big deal.

Wife of CyberMWCouple

LIZA · 11-09-2000, 06:14 PM

I grew up also in a very liberal open minded family and community. I think of myself as complete open to ALL people and lifestyles. I dont consider Homo or Bi sexuality any different or worse the Hetero. I also dont give race any thought. I have dated white, black and asian men.

I think when you use words like ILLNESS and DISEASE to describe Homosexuality you are definitely going to catch peoples eye and get them riled up!!

LIZA · 11-09-2000, 06:17 PM

"I hung out with friends, some of whom were BEST friends, who were homosexual AND bisexual, gay friends, lesbian friends, tranvestite friends"

Im sorry but can you just tell me WHY you hung out and were so close to these people if they all had an ILLNESS? As you state in your earlier post in this board?

I really do not mean to be critical but am only trying to point out to you that your statements sound kind of Schizophrenic!

LIZA · 11-09-2000, 06:19 PM

"A same sex couple (male or female) says to me that this person has very serious issues in dealing with their own sexuality, and therefore 'becomes' gay.

To me, Homosexuality is an illness and should be treated as such. Bisexuality is an informed choice and totally acceptable."

`
This is the statement above that I am referring to

To me, Homosexuality is an illness and should be treated as such. Bisexuality is an informed choice and totally acceptable.

[This message has been edited by LIZA (edited 11-09-2000).]

11-09-2000, 08:44 PM

LIZA....I think you're confusing me (wife) with my hubby, and that's where we all end up confused! *lol* This is why our "signatures" at the bottoms of our posts is either "Husband of CyberMWCouple" or "Wife of CyberMWCouple".

"I" was the one that "grew up" where I did, NOT hubby. We're both from different states in the U.S...

The group of friends that we hung out with, there were over 20 of us in the group, with a crowd so big, it's understandable of the "variety" of friends we had. We didn't JUST hang out with a "certain" group of friends, that would be discriminating! *VBG*

W~I~F~E of CyberMWCouple

[This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 11-09-2000).]

11-09-2000, 08:49 PM

I'm getting very tired of words like DISEASE and RACISIM being put into our mouths. That is NOT what this board is for. If you can't get it right on who you are speaking to, and what you are discussing, then do not say anything.

YOU LIZA are the one tosing these words around NOT me or my Wife.

This is all I have to say to you about this or anything else. From now on, I will ignore you and every post you ever place because of your continued irresponsibility in your posting.

Husband of CyberMWCouple

LIZA · 11-09-2000, 09:08 PM

You are correct..I am replying to you as a COUPLE, when obviously you both have different views. It would probably be better if you used two different identity's on here.

The statement I found so outrageous was this one, made by Husband:

"To me, Homosexuality is an illness and should be treated as such. Bisexuality is an informed choice and totally acceptable."

WHY are you saying I am putting words in your mouth? Did you not post that exact statement earlier today??

You can't make outrageous, inflammatory statements and then expect people not to respond to them!

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11-08-2000, 12:01 PM	#1 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,688 Location: Alabama Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	Bisexuality VS. Homesexuality Personally, I am bi.. why cut myself off from enjoying half of the population. That doesn't mean I am going to fall in love with a woman (but I might), that does mean that I enjoy sex with both men and women (but in my case probably with men a little bit more). I think to many people the difference between the two is that if you are homosexual there is more than just attraction it is about romantic involvement with someone of the same sex. Personally, I don't see how there is anything wrong with this. Some people look at relationships from the procreation standpoint. I don't. With that in mind there is no difference between my relationship with my husband as their would be if I fell in love with another woman and chose to spend the rest of my life with her. My husband and I have no plans or desire to have children. Even so in this day and age with adoption and suragacy even a homosexual couple can have children. Please share your opinions on this (just remember to do so without slamming anyone elses). Julie http://www.swingersboard.com __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

11-08-2000, 04:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,688 Location: Alabama Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	While I dont agree with the inherently bisexual statement. I do think that it is something that everyone should at least allow the thought of. Even if the thought comes back negative. As for swing clubs, you are right it is a private club. There are two reasons tho that they can and do discriminate on who they do and don't allow in... and this applies not just to bisexual men but to single guys and in some clubs to all singles. Most clubs are formed for one of two reasons: 1) So that the people forming the club can find people to swing with and make friends in the lifestyle. 2)To make money. Either way, the club itself has to do what will work best for them. If they choose to keep bi males or single males or all singles out of the club they do so because that is what the patronage of the club desires. If they allowed single men into the club (or bi men) and that made the couples who attended (couples being the main focus of MOST swing clubs) uncomfortable, then the couples would stop attending. If the couples stopped attending then they would be left with what? A club full of guys.. which doesn't leave much of a swinger club. There are swing clubs out there that are geared more towards the single male and those couples who are looking for single males/ gangbangs, etc. One club that I can think of is the Fox Hole in CA. There are also clubs that are aimed at bi couples, just as their are clubs aimed solely at soft swingers (Club Relate in FL). In my opinion the clubs that are the smartest are those that appeal to all people but have different nights set aside for each so that those who are not comfortable with single men around don't have to fight them off, or those that are not comfortable with bi guys around don't have to worry about the possibility of getting hit on by a guy.. Gypsy's in FL is like this and there are others. The key to clubs is not to just assume that they are all the same, but to check around and find the one that fits what you are looking for. If you don't find in close enough to you.. then why not think about starting your own parties or club. Invite the people you feel comfortable partying with. It's all about doing what works for you. Julie http://www.swingersboard.com __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

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11-08-2000, 03:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	I think most or all people are inherently bisexual to some degree. Just that many do not act on it and probably are not even aware of its potential. Of course, there is nothing wrong with being Homosexual, Bisexual or Heterosexual.........Bi and Homo people are not out to convert anyone, there is nothing that Hetero people have to fear! In the general population, that fear may be somewhat expected, but in the swinging commuinty where tolerance and exploration are supposed to be good thing, I just don't understand it! I guess because Swing Clubs are private clubs they are able to discriminate in their membership and only allow Bi women, not Bi men. I realize there are not that many men who are practicing bisexuals, but still seems a shame to me that they are treated this way

11-08-2000, 07:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	Homosexuality versus Bisexuality. To me, there is a world of difference. I firmly believe that homosexuality is the effect of the enviroment, and not a natural aspect of humankind. I do not for a moment think that anyone is 'born' homosexual. I have seen too much other evidence that proves otherwise to me. A same sex couple (male or female) says to me that this person has very serious issues in dealing with their own sexuality, and therefore 'becomes' gay. Bisexuality on the other hand, is when a heterosexual person chooses to open him or herself up to a larger range of sexual variations and possibilities. To me, Homosexuality is an illness and should be treated as such. Bisexuality is an informed choice and totally acceptable. And that's what I think. Feel free to disagree. Husband of CyberMWCouple

11-09-2000, 01:02 AM	#6 (permalink)
watcherone Active Member Join Date: Oct 2000 Posts: 45 Location: West Virginia, USA	Husband of CyberMWCouple: I cant agree that homosexuality is an illness.I feel that homosexuality is a normal sexual type as are heterosexuality and bisexuality. I think that men have some kind of phobia about homosexuals, they may be afraid of being "attacked" by a homosexual or maybe it just doesnt fit into their idea of sexuality. After all, a homosexual is missing having sexual experiences with a woman. I cant understand why we men cant accept homosexuality as just another type of person, just different from us. Why do men get off seeing two women having sex but the thought of two men together turns us off. I admit it doesnt excite me in the least but I am not afraid of homosexuals and have had homosexual friends that are no different from my straight friends. I respect their sexuality as I hope they respect mine. I think our world has too many hangups and this is a big one.As it has really just become acceptable to admit to being homosexual, I think time will change alot of ideas we have of that lifestyle. This is my own oppinion and I respect everyone else to have and express their own oppinion.

11-09-2000, 02:21 PM	#7 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	Homosexuality is an ILLNESS?? Ok I am going to be very FAIR and not attack anyone personally. I have just not heard that view expressed by anyone except for Dr Laura and Pat Buchanan! Life IS all about choices......My dearest friend is a Bi/gay man who was married to a woman for 7 years, and is now in a serious commitment to a man (hopefully soon they will be allowed the same rights as heterosexuals and be allowed to marry) He has tried sex with women many times (he is 39 years old)but he PREFERS it with a man...........if they ever break up maybe he will go back to women but I doubt it , he seems to be happy being homosexual. For myself, I have always been Bi, I have had a lot of sexual experiences with women, 2 real relationships with a woman but I find EMOTIONALLY I am better able to relate to a man in a relationship. Sexually I can relate equally to either sex. So since I was in a "gay" relationship at some point, althought I am married now, I guess I too was "diseased"? But I guess now I am "cured" There is really NO difference in Homo and Bi sexuality in principle.....You have sex with someone of the SAME sex, you are are engaging in HOMOSEXUAL behaviour! Bi describes being able to HAVE sex with male or female but the behaviour is always Homo or Hetero. So I guess all the females in the swinging lifestyle who are engaging in homosexual sex are diseased too! Oh my! My personal opinion: EVERY sexual preference should be completely accepted, it should make no difference in employment, military service, etc. It is a nonissue. To label something like 8-10 percent of the population as "diseased" is just wrong. I am honestly, RESPECTFULLY, surprised someone with such a conservative opinion would approve of this lifestyle, much less participate in it.

11-09-2000, 06:07 PM	#9 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	Where I grew up, born AND raised....There's a GREAT deal of race mixtures and sexual relationships (race & preferences), we ARE the "melting pot" of melting pots (the state that I grew up in)! Inter-racial marriages exist in my family. No big deal. Gay relationships exist in my family. No big deal. I hung out with friends, some of whom were BEST friends, who were homosexual AND bisexual, gay friends, lesbian friends, tranvestite friends, inter-racial couple friends, ALL types of relationships, and the list goes on and on...There were NO "homophobic", or whatever, thing about it, because we ALL acccepted & respected EVERYONE'S choices & preferences! NO BIG DEAL! BUT, when we make our own sexual preferences, state/share our own opinions here, and JUST because it differs from someone else's choices and opinions...It becomes a BIG deal! Now why is that?! HHhmmm.... Thinking back....I wouldn't doubt, that our parents/grandparents/and THEIR parents were swinging before our time! No big deal. Just because our families & friends were in the different "types" of relationships there is, doesn't mean that WE had to do the same thing, following in THEIR footsteps...Again, it was NO big deal. It's OKAY to be different, and have different ideas & choices, etc., as long as we're all mature enough to respect AND accept everyone's differences...No big deal. Wife of CyberMWCouple

11-09-2000, 06:14 PM	#10 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	I grew up also in a very liberal open minded family and community. I think of myself as complete open to ALL people and lifestyles. I dont consider Homo or Bi sexuality any different or worse the Hetero. I also dont give race any thought. I have dated white, black and asian men. I think when you use words like ILLNESS and DISEASE to describe Homosexuality you are definitely going to catch peoples eye and get them riled up!!

11-09-2000, 06:17 PM	#11 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	"I hung out with friends, some of whom were BEST friends, who were homosexual AND bisexual, gay friends, lesbian friends, tranvestite friends" Im sorry but can you just tell me WHY you hung out and were so close to these people if they all had an ILLNESS? As you state in your earlier post in this board? I really do not mean to be critical but am only trying to point out to you that your statements sound kind of Schizophrenic!

11-09-2000, 06:19 PM	#12 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	"A same sex couple (male or female) says to me that this person has very serious issues in dealing with their own sexuality, and therefore 'becomes' gay. To me, Homosexuality is an illness and should be treated as such. Bisexuality is an informed choice and totally acceptable." ` This is the statement above that I am referring to To me, Homosexuality is an illness and should be treated as such. Bisexuality is an informed choice and totally acceptable. [This message has been edited by LIZA (edited 11-09-2000).]

11-09-2000, 08:44 PM	#13 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	LIZA....I think you're confusing me (wife) with my hubby, and that's where we all end up confused! lol This is why our "signatures" at the bottoms of our posts is either "Husband of CyberMWCouple" or "Wife of CyberMWCouple". "I" was the one that "grew up" where I did, NOT hubby. We're both from different states in the U.S... The group of friends that we hung out with, there were over 20 of us in the group, with a crowd so big, it's understandable of the "variety" of friends we had. We didn't JUST hang out with a "certain" group of friends, that would be discriminating! VBG W~I~F~E of CyberMWCouple [This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 11-09-2000).]

11-09-2000, 08:49 PM	#14 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	I'm getting very tired of words like DISEASE and RACISIM being put into our mouths. That is NOT what this board is for. If you can't get it right on who you are speaking to, and what you are discussing, then do not say anything. YOU LIZA are the one tosing these words around NOT me or my Wife. This is all I have to say to you about this or anything else. From now on, I will ignore you and every post you ever place because of your continued irresponsibility in your posting. Husband of CyberMWCouple

11-09-2000, 09:08 PM	#15 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	You are correct..I am replying to you as a COUPLE, when obviously you both have different views. It would probably be better if you used two different identity's on here. The statement I found so outrageous was this one, made by Husband: "To me, Homosexuality is an illness and should be treated as such. Bisexuality is an informed choice and totally acceptable." WHY are you saying I am putting words in your mouth? Did you not post that exact statement earlier today?? You can't make outrageous, inflammatory statements and then expect people not to respond to them!