How to help her determine if she is bisexual

[sexpistols]

Hi everyone ... I am asking this question for my close lady friend. We are helping each other in getting into this lifestyle. Well she is not sure if she is bisexual or not and I am having a hard time helping her figure it out so we are bringing this problem here. She had kissed a friend of her's long time back of course under the influence of alcohol ..lol..but she recollects that event as not being awful..but more like - hey this is not bad. So at this point she will let a woman go down on her but she is not sure if she wants to reciprocate. I asked her if she has ever felt like she wanted to do a girl and she said only once long time back she had a crush on a girl ...more like she wanted to be around that girl all the time and touch her.

We are planning to go to a swingers club soon to see what interests her but we are wondering if there are any ways to figure if might be inclined towards bisexuality.

How have some of you other women realized that you are bisexual?

[MarriedNY'ers69]

I never needed someone to help me figure it out. HAHA SO I don't know. I just always knew I wanted to be with another women. She is just going to have to find chemistry with someone and see what happens I guess.

[sexyshelby]

Try it. If she likes it, then she's bi, if not, then she's not. Really, I don't see any other way.

~SS

[intuition897]

I can't really help much with that question as I started out, like many women, bi-curious. Then we played with a couple where the woman as bi, and my curiosity was satisfied. I'll still play with women, so I'm bi-friendly, but if given a choice, I prefer men.

Going to a nice club will give her ample opportunity to express her bisexuality if it exists. Other women will approach her, and if she's bi, she'll respond to the female attention. Or she'll be inspired to approach other women herself.

[Edison Carter]

Here's a simple idea. Go to a strip club, buy her a couple of lap dances and she can see if she digs it. Not like the real thing, but will give you a starting point.

[all4fun]

I have never considered myself bi but after attending a couple of club parties, I have found that I love the attention from both the men and women. I don't necessarily want just a f/f thing but when we are with another couple, I do get off on kissing and playing with the other women and her doing the same while I am having sex with my husband.

[MarriedNY'ers69]

Originally Posted by Edison Carter

Here's a simple idea. Go to a strip club, buy her a couple of lap dances and she can see if she digs it. Not like the real thing, but will give you a starting point.

Yup I have done that and let me tell ya the girls that are into girls at those places ummmmmmmm do alot more then you think behind the curtain Us women have way different rules then men do

[lovedoctor]

I like to think of it more as being "sexual" than being "bisexual." For me, it would have to be the "right" female because there are WAY more that I would not be interested in than those I would. If it seems natural, then I will do it, but if not No Way! .

So I would suggest that you find couples you feel comfortable with if you will be playing together, and go from there...

Good luck

[WesternSwing]

From my experience with Mrs. WS I'd say that if she likes kissing another woman then going down on her won't be that big an issue, when faced it she will probably love it. But, this is something she is going to have to figure out as she goes. Just be sure the woman you are with knows she is "bi-curious" so that if she doesn't reciprocate there is no hard feelings.

Mr. WS

[aztecgirl]

You can only go as far as your desire will take you. It took me 3-5 years to figure out that I was bi. What made me think I was bi was getting really turned on by seeing girls at the gym or in porns. Unfortunatly my 1st time going down on a girl wasn't so great. The girl didn't practice good hygene & made me think I wasn't bi b/c I didn't really enjoy it. Compared it to a guy w/ really nasty spunk & then was interested in trying it again. It takes time & I think going to gay clubs or bars & being totally honest with the girls helped me discover my bi-sexuality.

Originally Posted by sexpistols

Hi everyone ... I am asking this question for my close lady friend. We are helping each other in getting into this lifestyle. Well she is not sure if she is bisexual or not and I am having a hard time helping her figure it out so we are bringing this problem here. She had kissed a friend of her's long time back of course under the influence of alcohol ..lol..but she recollects that event as not being awful..but more like - hey this is not bad. So at this point she will let a woman go down on her but she is not sure if she wants to reciprocate. I asked her if she has ever felt like she wanted to do a girl and she said only once long time back she had a crush on a girl ...more like she wanted to be around that girl all the time and touch her.

We are planning to go to a swingers club soon to see what interests her but we are wondering if there are any ways to figure if might be inclined towards bisexuality.

How have some of you other women realized that you are bisexual?

[nteracialcpl]

I'd have to agree with those who have indicated that, most likely, there would have to be a little bit of attraction/chemistry, before she should try it.
It'd be unfortunate, if she just jumped in, and, tried it, with a woman that she isn't really even attracted to, and then, she ended up not having an enjoyable experience, thus, making her feel as though the whole thing just might not be her "cup of tea", per se.

[sexpistols]

Everybody ... we really appreciate all the experiences and suggestions you guys have suggested. I definitely agree with most of you saying that she needs to be comfortable...that's an understood thing between us. I guess we need the right person to show us the ropes. The first experience makes a lot of difference and we are just trying to find the right people for that!

It would be nice to hear how did some of you couples decide on who were right matches for you to help you through the transition. What attributes did you like or were looking for?