define the term "bi"

[BodyScape02]

I was recently contacted by a single male who happens to be a doctor.

The letter was nice enough so I asked him to tell me more about himself and elaborate on his likes and dislikes.

Here is an excerpt from the e-mail I got in return. (Honest, I am not making the following up)

"....as far as men go I'm not at all homophobic but I'm not bi...I couldn't kiss or fondly hug a man at all, but I'd gladly fondle or suck a cock!"


What the Sam Hill!!!! Is that not the very definition of BI?

He will not shake the man’s hand but he will gladly blow him? Am I the only person shaking my head on this one?

So question is... if you are a "bi" male (or female for that matter)... How do you define what bi is? Wouldn’t you say… sucking another mans cock is rather …well bi.( just as long as you are not hugging him in the process.

~Cat

[Miss_Piggy]

The biggest point to take out of this one is, as with many terms, it's always a good idea to get clarification from a particular individual on what they mean. Don't assume that others define their terms the same ways you do.

I consider bi to be a self identification. If someone doesn't feel comfortable with the label then I'm not about to apply it to them. Consider it from this angle, if a beautiful woman wants to kiss me I'm not going to stop her just because she says she's straight. It's none of my business what she calls herself.
In the case of the doctor you mentioned, I don't see a problem with him calling himself straight. It's not like he waited until you were in bed to let you know how he defines straight. So while it may take you off guard... it's just how he's able to think about himself.

[WyldeCouple]

Well we can certainly understand not wanting to just go a lable someone, however we would certainly say that sucking or fondling a cock is very NOT str8.
If it looks like a ______, acts like a ______ sounds like a _______ welll it is most likely a ______. You fill in the blanks.
We are a BOTH bicouple and this is our point of view

[JustAskJulie]

I'd have to agree. I know several guys who would say the same thing the original guy said with one difference, they would admit to being bi.

[pumpkins1970]

Wyldcouples right, labels are things that can be thrown around carelessly, which reminded me of an old joke I once heard. An old man sitting in a bar is grumbling one night of his life. He looks over his pint and says to no one in particular " I've been alive 75 yrs, 60 of them I have been a carpenter. I built the church, the town hall, the schools for all...you think they would call me Ivan the builder, or maybe Ivan the carpenter, but no...noo, they don't. But you go and fuck one sheep... XOXO XXX

[GerdOEvert]

A male or female is "bi" if on occassion he wants to have sexual contact with the same sex.

Shaking hands and kissing may not be the thing for some.

Give or receiving a good blow job may be for another.

Frankly, I think the idea of "tete beche" is sexy, and I have never tried it.

I have wondered and wanted to cock to spew its creme while I was sucking. I have sucked cock, but never to orgasm.

It also would appeal to me, at least theoretically, to be reamed while I am eating out my wife or my friends wife. I have wondered what it feels
like to feel that gush of creme as it erupts in my ass.

So you could say, I am bi sexual.

But I don't want to hold hands or to kiss.

I would like to pick up a hitch hiker, and have him say he wanted to
"blow" me.

But all this has to be done in "safe" confines. And any homosexual conduct still has a major stigma. Much more so than girl's bisexual contact.

In fact, girls are more or less expected and allowed to have bi sexual contact in their teens. Maybe it is safer for them than sex. Less likely to result in
pregnancy, which can be quite expensive for a teen girl.

Otto

[lovefest04]

I agree with WyldeCouple and have often scratched my head, the one on my neck when I see an advertisement like this:

Straight male, very horny looking for bi-male to blow me....

What the?

Can a man still be straight if he only receives a blow job from another man, which I suppose makes the guy that gives the blow job bi?

I'm so confused

[Carol_Danny]

Like most things, there are degrees to Bisexuality. I started a term "Situationally-Bisexual" for people who aren't the least bit interested in one-on-one same sex experiences, but are willing top play around in a threesome or group gathering. There are Bi, but it all depends on the situation.

I started that term as I saw most sites used just 2 terms, either Bisexual or Bicurious (some have Bisensual for the ladies). Many men think they fall somewhere in the middle. They don't believe they are fully Bi, as men don't "turn them on", just the heat of the sexual moment does. And they aren't Bicurious because they have been there, done that, and had the curiosity satiated. Most of the couples we know with a Bi-Male partner fall in the middle.

[Carol_Danny]

I also want to add that I think the Lifestyles community has come a long way with sexuality. I'm reading posts where people are saying, "Well, if he wants his dick sucked, isn't he Bi?" It used to be an automatic "He must be Gay!"

[BodyScape02]

I just found it enormously funny that he insisted he was not bi because he would never hug another man.

The irony for me was that simple social contact, was being more “intimate” to this man than oral sex. (He is of Hindu heritage and I think that has something to do with the more` distinction)

It seemed counterintuitive to me because, I was brought up in a family where you got hugged and held and cuddled and it was not sexual in nature... it was nurturing. Now the idea of oral sex... my father would have beaten us to death after he beat the crap out of whomever it happened with. Cultural differences?

This certainly reinforces the oft given recommendation for spending at least an adequate amount of time asking questions on the net before you meet. That way you have all the little snafu type things out of the way and the meeting can be all about "chemistry".

Let's face it, discussing particulars at a first meet can be very clinical and a real wet blanket on a budding seduction.

Get the definitions out of the way and you can have fun and just play...

(Yee ha... I rhymed!)

Ms Bodyscape02

[valley]

In recent years,surveys have shown that app.80% of kids 15to 18 do not believe oral sex is an act of sex.......You may recall some rather famous last words...from a former President of your country?.....

I point this out to indicate that while a guy may say hes straight ,he could easily give a guy a BJ.,not believing its sex

No ,doesnt make sense to me either, but I'm no kid

[Chris&Suzanne]

I beleive a true bi-sexual either male or female would have no issues having just FF or MM encounters, without the others SO present to "lend-a-hand/mounth/etc."

Males and females who join-in touching, fondling, sucking, etc. while in the middle of a FMF, MFM, or FMFM encounter is just having fun, as long as the others have no issues with it.

Who was it (Woody Allen?) who said being bi-sexual automaticallt doubles you chances of getting a date on Saturday night.

[SamuiCouple]

I have had MMF and MM experiences that I thoroughly enjoyed, but have absolutely no desire to kiss or hug a man, even though his cock may turn me on.

Somehow the kiss & hug is more intimate. This comes up quite often in str8 swinging as a 'rule' as well....

[BodyScape02]

Originally Posted by SamuiCouple

I have had MMF and MM experiences that I thoroughly enjoyed, but have absolutely no desire to kiss or hug a man, even though his cock may turn me on.

Somehow the kiss & hug is more intimate. This comes up quite often in str8 swinging as a 'rule' as well....

I am finding this distiction as simply facinating...

[Rascal]

I believe the theory is that we are all .... "portions" of homosexuality.... that the degree of homosexuality is really what you're talking about.... In just about all of us it's fine to shake hands or even hug your own sex "Hello" but taboo to kiss or touch sexuallly. Most of my generations thoughts on the matter... is that if it was too naked men hugging... that was sexual.... but if they had clothes on... not necessarily. For a man to get a bj from another man and consider himself st8 is sorts true, lol. but his degree of homosexuality isn't exactly near the zero mark. But my thoughts on if he gives the bj... then I would think that the degree of homosexuality is a lot greater.