Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

[NaughtyKitten]

It occurred to me recently that the definition of bi-curious covers a wide range of interest level. Here are 2 examples:

Woman 1: A wife who's hubby wants to see her with another woman. She has never fantasized about other women. She is intersted on a very minimal level and only for her husband's pleasure. She is not at all sure if she will like it.

Woman 2: A woman who has always fantasized about other women but has never had the experience. She is very interested and quite sure she will enjoy the experience when it happens. She may be actively seeking women to play with.

Obviously there are many other situations and interest levels. With this range of interest levels is it fair to lump every bi-curious woman in to same definition? I've seen couples here say they don't want to play with bi-curious women, only bi. How can woman 2 get her chance? She would like to call herself bi based on her very high interest level but can't since she has never actually been with another woman. Is there another way to identify herself? Any suggestions?

[turrywolez]

I too have this kind of problem. I am not bi-curious, I have been with many women and have enjoyed it most of the time - but that is not what I am looking for at all, therefore I do not call myself bi. However I am not objectionable to girl on girl action if it is something that seems right in the moment- in fact I will more than likely enjoy it. It is just not what I want out of our lifestyle experience. I have had to explain this to couples we were interested in who said not unless I was bi...

Where do I fit in?

[DBL D]

Help them Ves! Where's that thread about the different types of "Bi"?

Male D

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by DBL D

Help them Ves! Where's that thread about the different types of "Bi"?

Male D

Here's the thread you're referring to, M.D.

WHO IS BISEXUAL?*

As you can see, there is no simple definition of bisexuality, and bisexual people are a very diverse group. There are several theories about different models of bisexual behavior. J. R. Little identifies at least 13 types of bisexuality, as defined by sexual desires and experiences. They are:

Alternating bisexuals:
may have a relationship with a man, and then after that relationship ends, may choose a female partner for a subsequent relationship, and many go back to a male partner next.
Circumstantial bisexuals:
primarily heterosexual, but will choose same sex partners only in situations where they have no access to other-sex partners, such as when in jail, in the military, or in a gender-segregated school.
Concurrent relationship bisexuals:
have primary relationship with one gender only but have other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender at the same time.
Conditional bisexuals:
either straight or gay/lesbian, but will switch to a relationship with another gender for financial or career gain or for a specific purpose, such as young straight males who become gay prostitutes or lesbians who get married to men in order to gain acceptance from family members or to have children.
Emotional bisexuals:
have intimate emotional relationships with both men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one gender.
Integrated bisexuals:
have more than one primary relationship at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman.
Exploratory bisexuals:
either straight or gay/lesbian, but have sex with another gender just to satisfy curiosity or "see what it's like."
Hedonistic bisexuals:
primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have sex with another gender primarily for fun or purely sexual satisfaction.
Recreational bisexuals:
primarily heterosexual but engage in gay or lesbian sex only when under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
Isolated bisexuals:
100% straight or gay/lesbian now but has had at one or more sexual experience with another gender in the past.
Latent bisexuals:
completely straight or gay lesbian in behavior but have strong desire for sex with another gender, but have never acted on it.
Motivational bisexuals:
straight women who have sex with other women only because a male partner insists on it to titillate him.
Transitional bisexuals:
temporarily identify as bisexual while in the process of moving from being straight to being gay or lesbian, or going from being gay or lesbian to being heterosexual.

Many of these people might not call themselves bisexual, but because they are attracted to and have relationships with both men and women, they are in fact bisexual.


Now let's toss in a brief summary on Kinsey

Dr. Alfred Kinsey created a scale, graduated between heterosexuality and homosexuality, to rate individuals on actual experiences and psychological reactions. The ratings are as follows** :

0 - Entirely heterosexual.
1 - Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual.
2 - Predominantly heterosexual, but with a distinct homosexual history.
3 - Equally heterosexual and homosexual.
4 - Predominantly homosexual, but with a distinct heterosexual history.
5 - Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual.
6 - Entirely homosexual.

Clearly anything above 0 and less than 6 can be defined as bisexual. Although many people will say "I am Kinsey (whatever)," it should be noted that subsequent researchers such as Klein have found it more useful to rate people on a variety of levels, such as "Past History," "Present History," "Present Feelings," and "Future Inclinations". Nevertheless the Kinsey scale remains a useful tool for discussion of sexuality precisely because it is so simple.


Wow. Talk about labels.

No more Bi Vs. Bi-curious. There are subcategories for bi's now.

Which one are you?

I'm a Hedonstic Bisexual, Kinsey 2. I like the sound of that. So much better than bi-curious.

Here's a poll by jcbicouple on bisexuality.

[fun_pairTX]

Mrs Fun lists; Bi, Bi-Curious or Bi-Bi.............. LOL

Mr Fun

[northindycpl]

WOW... there is a lot of info there! This is a very frustrating topic for me, so I was glad to read your question.

I can tell you kitten, from the experience of a decidedly bi woman, it is very easy to distinguish between woman 1 and 2 in your scenerio when you have had bi-experiences. Although I consider myself situationally bi. (which isn't in the definitions above) I enjoy playing with a women in a couples situation if the spirit moves me and the woman is receptive and participating.

A woman that is only doing it for her husband (which is more times than not) just doesn't get me in the spirit. A woman that is interested in flirting and so forth does. There are a lot of women that just want the experience, but are so unwilling to reciprocate or respond. It has really tainted my whole view of bi-curious women.

I would have no issue with a woman that is curious if she described her curiousity like you did above- and followed through with it. I like new experiences, and I like to be a part of someones new experience. What I don't like is to be given a laundry list of "I won'ts" by a bi curious femme who wants me to play with her, without reciprocity or response.

It is really all about how you communicate your desires to me before we play. For example, if you say you have always had a fantasy about a particular thing, and that fantasy intrigues me, then we may play. If you tell me that you don't even like the taste of your own pussy, what makes you think you will like mine? Probably not going to play.

If you are open and willing to explore options, I am open and willing to assist. New isn't bad, indecisive, confusing and unresponsive is.

[northindycpl]

Hedonistically bi 2, as well.

[NaughtyKitten]

Wow Ves! I never knew about all those sub-categories. I did know about the Kinsey scale.

Which one are you?

Well right now Latent-Bi since I have no experience. Kinsey scale is based on History so 0 currently.

There are a lot of women that just want the experience, but are so unwilling to reciprocate or respond.

That makes no sense to me. Why would someone just want a one-sided experience? That doesn't sound like fun.

I would have no issue with a woman that is curious if she described her curiousity like you did above- and followed through with it. I like new experiences, and I like to be a part of someones new experience. What I don't like is to be given a laundry list of "I won'ts" by a bi curious femme who wants me to play with her, without reciprocity or response.

Good to know that the bi women out there are open to wanna-be-bi women.

We are so new to this lifestyle everything is a learning experience right now. We went to our first on-premise club last saturday. Such a culture shock! It took awhile for me to feel comfortable. We weren't in the club for 5 minutes and I was hit on by a single woman(first time in my life that has ever happened). She was cute and I was definately attracted to her. I flirted back a bit but, I am not used to the club scene and I didn't know what to say. Getting comfortable with the club was #1 priority that night. I kinda regret not pushing it since I have wanted this for a long time. It was very apparent that she was interested. Maybe next time since we are comfortable at the club now. I'm just kicking myself that I had the elusive bi-fem and let her go.

[BiDrywallChick]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Here's the thread you're referring to, M.D.

WHO IS BISEXUAL?*


Concurrent relationship bisexuals:
have primary relationship with one gender only but have other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender at the same time.


Hedonistic bisexuals:
primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have sex with another gender primarily for fun or purely sexual satisfaction.
.

I am a combintaion of those two and I believe a 2 on the scale

[northindycpl]

Originally Posted by NaughtyKitten

That makes no sense to me. Why would someone just want a one-sided experience? That doesn't sound like fun.

Good to know that the bi women out there are open to wanna-be-bi women.

You would be amazed at the women that want a one-sided experience. I think it all revolves around t6he oral sex aspect of being a bi woman. Other women (and their husbands) fantasize about another woman going down on them, but when it comes to reciprocity- 99% of the time it doesn't happen. Not that reciprocity is an expected outcome for everytime, but after awhile it is expected.

Particularly, personally only enjoy giving oral sex to another woman for her. I don't get anything out of it. But I am good at it, and sometimes in some situations it fits. And it gets irritating to me that more women just don't bite the bullet, so to speak, and return the favor. That seems to be where most women draw the line. Which is where I personally think the line is between bi women and bi curious women.

The other issue I have found with bi curious women is that they are incredibly unpredicable. One minute they really like what you are doing, the next they don't. It is very difficult to judge.

For the most part, I would say that 99% of the time, my bi-play has nothing to do with oral sex- giving or recieving. Honestly, I am not going to give it out if I have no chance of recieving. But it has everything to with how comfortable another woman is with my body and her own, and how comfortable she is with her sexuality.

There are so many bi-play possiblities, some I have enjoyed and some I only fantasize about, but most women are so hung up about the oral sex aspect, they never allow themselves the freedom to really truely experience things.

[NaughtyKitten]

Originally Posted by northindycpl

but most women are so hung up about the oral sex aspect, they never allow themselves the freedom to really truely experience things.

Sad.

[NtyKittensMan]

I feel that bi-curious means that she would like to be with another women. To try new pleasures.

[NaughtyKitten]

Update:
Things are moving really fast for us right now, since we posted our Swing Lifestyle ad. We met a wonderful couple, I talked about them on another thread, First Meeting from Swing Lifestyle ad. I have had my first bi experiences, no oral yet, but actually looking forward to it. I really enjoyed being with another woman and I have no hesitation about going furthur. I guess I could categorize myself as bi now since I have satisfied the curiosity. It has been a really freeing feeling. I have had bi feelings for a very long time and just kept it hidden. Now that I am able to express it, I feel so much more true to myself. Being able to talk to all of you on swingersboard has made a tremendous difference too. My overall attitude is more positive lately. Thank you for the suport and encouragement.

[ALilOEverything]

That's really great you're to the point where you are already redefining yourself, literally

I never used the label as Bi-curious because I didn't even know what it was. When I started to get curious about boys I became curious about girls too. I explored for the first time when I was 17 and later on I sought it out as a one on one experience to really be able to explore that side of me without distraction and with my husband's blessing. I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with a woman but who knows, if my life took that direction anything is possible.

It is great to have a place to discuss these kinds of things. Reading about other's ideas and experiences has helped me define myself even more accurately.

[PiNKFLoYD]

Everybody loves a bi lady, but it has surprised me how unacceptable bi men are in the swinging world.