Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

[NaughtyKitten]

Originally Posted by PiNKFLoYD

Everybody loves a bi lady, but it has surprised me how unacceptable bi men are in the swinging world.

You are so right about that. There is a definate double standard that even newbie me has noticed. I have many gay male friends so I'm not offended or turned off by that sort of thing. In fact its kinda hot. Even if my hubby was into it, which at present he is not, I don't know if we would advertise as such because of the attitudes out there. I don't quite understand it myself.

ALilOEverything That's really great you're to the point where you are already redefining yourself, literally

I never used the label as Bi-curious because I didn't even know what it was. When I started to get curious about boys I became curious about girls too. I explored for the first time when I was 17 and later on I sought it out as a one on one experience to really be able to explore that side of me without distraction and with my husband's blessing. I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with a woman but who knows, if my life took that direction anything is possible.

It is great to have a place to discuss these kinds of things. Reading about other's ideas and experiences has helped me define myself even more accurately.

I also don't think I could be in an exclusive relationship with a woman, mainly because I enjoy men, sexually and otherwise. It is totally different.

I have redefined myself. I guess inside I always thought of myself as bi but never had the chance to explore that, to see if it was just fantasy. That is what bi-curious meant to me, unsure but interested. Now that I have had the experience and enjoyed it I know that it is not just fantasy for me.

It is really refreshing to be able to talk with others about this and other things. It is hard to keep these things inside and try to just talk to yourself about them, or your partner. I know all about that, trying to keep it inside. I love being open about it now, with the board and few select friends. I will never be out with everyone in my life but just having a few friends to discuss things with is very freeing. Thanks everyone!

[eager4more]

This is something I have been trying to sort out as well. We are relatively new to the lifestyle and I was pleasantly surprised to feel free enough to explore my bi-curiosity.

After lots of flirting, caressing, and kissing, and a few experiences with oral sex, I'm no longer "curious." I definitely enjoy the sensuality of flirting kissing and caressing, but do draw the line at giving oral sex, and by extension, prefer to not receive it so I don't feel "beholden." I've received (and mostly enjoyed) from several and have reciprocated with 2 women. Those two times didn't excite me like it does with a man, and in fact I had to push myself to try it. I even tried the 2nd time bc of wondering if I was too nervous, etc, the first time. Who knows, maybe it's still my socially-learned hangups keeping me from feeling it and eventually I could fully enjoy it, but for now I've decided that I gave it a shot, and just didn't like it.

Bi-curious? Not anymore. Completely straight? not that either, since it'd be awkward to not be able to caress and kiss and be affectionate with other women. But certainly not completely bi, nor situational, hedonistic, or any of that. Hmm, can we call it anatomically bi?

[PiNKFLoYD]

I'm bi in MFM situations, but I don't seek out 1 on 1 relationships with a man. At least I never have before...

[BiNWAR]

I classify myself as...sexual....i like to have sex with both equally. Yet I dont call myself bisexual unless I absolutly have to (like in the case of profiles there never seems to be a spot of sexual) I have the best of both sexual worlds...

[Zoe&Wash]

I don't feel like any of the "labels" in the first couple of posts fit me.

I describe myself as bi-curious because, while I've never had a bi experience, I have had fantasies about one or two women I've known in the past. I've had one or two that went pretty far, but for a variety of reasons, the timing (or people involved) wasn't right to act upon them. The closest I've ever gotten to an actual experience was a very nice, non-platonic kiss which was extremely pleasant, but that's about it.

How far would I go in any given situation? I have absolutely no idea, but I'm generally open to experimentation. Heck, that was how I lost my virginity in the first place! Love sure didn't have much to do with it!

Hmmm. Maybe "bi-experimental" would be a better description - "Straight, but want to experiment for the sake of the experience, rather than solely for the partner's pleasure."

Z

[Mike and Jan]

Hey PinkFloyd, you're exactly right about that. In fact there've been a lot of threads about just that. And you'd think that swingers would be much less homophobic than the general public, wouldn't you? Oh well.

Now I'm not even bi but sexual exploration is about trying new things and seeing if you enjoy them..., so! And, in the fantasies my wife and I share we both can see some male/male contact.

BTW..., you say you are a writer? Me too. I'd be interested in getting to know you better if you'd like.

[PiNKFLoYD]

Mike and Jan I'll send you a PM.

[69&72]

The first time I mentioned I was interested in "the bi thing" to 72 she said, "Oh ? You and another dude ? Whatever turns you on, dear. "

I gently explained, "Ummm, noooooooooo......I meant you and another chick."

(She knew this, of course but she's a smart ass as well as as good ass.)

We were seeing a couple at the time and the wife of that pair was bi and 72 thought she was cute but every time we got together my missus went for want she liked best which is, well, dick.

When she's ready she'll go for it and I'll be there supporting her.

In the corner.

Touching myself.

And going, "hum-a-nuh, hum-a-nuh, hum-a-nuh". facelick

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by PiNKFLoYD

Everybody loves a bi lady, but it has surprised me how unacceptable bi men are in the swinging world.

My first post here again in about a year, I doubt anyone missed me

Anyways, the reason for this is quite simple. Most of the men in swinging are straight, to them (and a large number of the women) guy-guy contact is a turn off. They don't want to see it at the clubs/parties so it doesn't happen.

It is a double standard but we are pretty normal in that neither of us want anything to do with male bisexuality. It grosses us out. Its not fair, but when it comes to sex we are willing to be not fair.

I personally do not WANT bisexual men in swinging. Its because of the disease factor. Male - Male contact has the highest rate of disease transmittance for sexually transmitted diseases. I personally know a good number of men who died during the 80's when this all started. Swinging is risky behavior as it is, I really don't wish to increase that risk factor any more than I have to.

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I personally do not WANT bisexual men in swinging. Its because of the disease factor. Male - Male contact has the highest rate of disease transmittance for sexually transmitted diseases. I personally know a good number of men who died during the 80's when this all started. Swinging is risky behavior as it is, I really don't wish to increase that risk factor any more than I have to.

Chicup, it would seem you're painting things with a pretty broad brush here. From what I've seen and experienced, lots of men who say they're bi-curious are just that... curious. No different from any females who say the same. They're in the lifestyle to experience new things and perhaps that's on their list. And, not unlike females who explore their bi-sides, they'll either decide they like it and seek more experiences out, or they won't.

Either way, being open-minded myself... I want to be around same. That's why bi- or bi-curious males are such a turn-on for me.

Also... from what I have read, the incidence of STDs in the swinging community is probably lower than that of the general population, due to the diligence of swingers practicing safe sex.

As always, JMHO... YMMV.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by Chicup

My first post here again in about a year, I doubt anyone missed me

Not true! I was wondering where you had gone. Glad to see your name back up on the board.

[kinkyme3sum]

I'm guys
We are new to this .. So nice to meet u all ..= )
I never been with a women sexualy but i have kissed girls. I find it a big turn on!!
So me and my boy friend thought about maybe trying to work on a 3 sum me and him and another girl .. I'm soo up for it ..

Now i only been with my boy friend for about year now .. Do u think we are ready for this .. Hmm i have a little worries .. lol .. Ofcourse the girls know wut i mean ..
Like i don't want my man to leave me for the other girl .. Has anyone had this prob? Please let me know

[PiNKFLoYD]

Originally Posted by Dynamar

Chicup, it would seem you're painting things with a pretty broad brush here. From what I've seen and experienced, lots of men who say they're bi-curious are just that... curious. No different from any females who say the same. They're in the lifestyle to experience new things and perhaps that's on their list. And, not unlike females who explore their bi-sides, they'll either decide they like it and seek more experiences out, or they won't.

Either way, being open-minded myself... I want to be around same. That's why bi- or bi-curious males are such a turn-on for me.

Also... from what I have read, the incidence of STDs in the swinging community is probably lower than that of the general population, due to the diligence of swingers practicing safe sex.

As always, JMHO... YMMV.

Very well said Dynamar. I didn't go into my experiences intending to have sex with the guys. I'm not really interested in seeking out just a guy for sex, but with the right couple, the sky's the limit. With both of the couples I've MFM'ed with, we were all comfortable with each other and it just happened, and not on the first get-together, either. In both cases, we were good friends first, the hubbies wanted to give the wife an MFM, and asked me to join them.

With my 1st couple, the hubby brought it up one night that he was curious, and since I was, too, we started experimenting, and had some great times together. The wife was a doll and very uninhibited except that she would never agree to anal.

With my 2nd couple, we were both trying to have "incidental" contact without it looking like we were trying to have it. In addition to everything else, we DP'ed her 2 times that 1st night and as we each licked her bumhole to wet her for anal, we would "accidently" lick the other guy's cock.

I was under the wife on our 3rd "date" in a 69 and the hubby was fucking her from behind. My tongue kept brushing his cock and his balls were resting on my nose and eyes, and I finally just said, "What the hell!" I started licking his cock and balls purposely, he stopped stroking for just a moment and said, "That feels good. I'd been hoping, but I was afraid to say anything." We had a lot of good times together and I'll have to say: I've had some damn good sex, but that was some of the best sex I ever had.

Sadly, I lost both of my couples to infidelity. With Couple #1, the wife cheated. With Couple #2, the hubby met someone online (it was the Internet age by then) and left her.

[jon&roberta]

I'd have to say I'm half Bi. I've had over 400 blow jobs from men, but have never given a blow job. Have jerked men off a few times.