Don't Hate Me 'Cause I'm Straight

[Spoomonkey]

I was is a discussion recently with someone and it really had me sort of bugged...

I have no problem accepting anyone's sexual preference - be that straight, bisexual, gay, transgendered, baptist, whatever... If it works for you and gives you a fulfilled life - by all means, enjoy...

I may ask you not to enjoy it on my leather chair, but other than that, I'm a pretty open individual.

The problem is that in some folks' hyperdiligence to get me to accept another person's sexuality - they decide that they aren't done until I accept the fact that I too am somewhat gay. Somewhere along the line I was taught that being gay is less than manly and I must have repressed my desire for the masculine love making that every man deeply needs.

This person I was talking to stated that I simply wasn't being true to myself and was limiting my sexual self by my homophobic choices.

Mm-hmm...

See that is where it kind of irks me...

I can accept that a homosexual is born a homosexual - that they didn't choose it - that is just simply the way that they are...

So why can people not accept the fact that I was born straight? I didn't choose it - God made me this way. I don't want to limit my sexual options, but I can't help myself... I like good old T&A - like my father and his father before him... I am not asking to throw a parade or get my own special day at Disney World... I just want to be allowed to live in this heterosexual hell that is my lot in life.

I am not "a little" bisexual.

I am not "mostly" straight.

I just dig chicks. Period... End of story...

And it gets under my skin to no end when people try to convince me that I am simply a paler shade of gay. I don't rub my butt and wonder what a man's hands would feel like back there - and I don't have guilty daydreams about Josh Hartnet...

Can someone please tell me where this incredible school of misthought started that is convinced that there is no such thing anymore as the normal heterosexual male? Or that if there is such a thing, it is somehow wrong?

Because I don't get it...

And if I don't figure it out soon, I am going to make my own flag (I am thinking about going with 'Blue') and marching to Washington. I'll call it the "Million Straight Guy" march... But after my discussions with folks, I am not sure I'll be able to find that many to march with me...

Spoomonkey

[biblonde]

Oh here is one more to march with ya! Hubby is as straight as straight could be!!! no curiousity or thoughts or nothing. and if that makes him strange, odd, or whatever...good!!! I wouldnt want him any other way. I agree...do what ya want to but..dont push it on me or hubby. I personally dont want to watch 2 men or have any man with my hubby. The thought to me is yuck. sorry guys but that is the way it is. so spoo...you arent alone! lol and i dont think anyone would have the nerve to tell my hubby he is limiting himself or denying anything...they may get well....laid out cold! I have a very manly man of 6'4" 225, and very very straight!
just my 2 cents for the day

[robnbarb]

Whatever your preference, no one has the right to tell you that you are limiting yourself reguardless. Some people get into thier head that what works for them works for everyone and rarely does it. This happens in every facet of life, from religion to politics to sexual preference. It is unfortunate but all that I can say is stick to what makes you happy and don't worry about them. They can do what they like and all, but who needs to actually do the same to be able to accespt the same.

Sorry if I was over the line there being a newbie and all, I just thought I should chime in on this since I had an idea of what might be happening here.

[WesternSwing]

Mrs. WS and I were discussing a very similar subject with a hetro vanilla friend a couple of days ago. He insisted that gays are conditioned and can be reprogrammed to be straight. I am under the belief that true gays are born that way and have no more ability to change to straight than I do to become gay. They can't explain why they are only attracted to members of the same sex anymore than I can explain why I'm only attracted to women.

Our friend argued that everybody is inherently straight, they just have a bad childhood experience that turns them gay. Yeah, right... To me this doesn't explain why I watched people I grew up with try to be attracted to those of the opposite sex, all the time suffering while trying to do the straight thing and go to proms, movies, and generally date. They never "felt" it like I did. Never.

Would it be cool if I could be bi? Probably. When we swing my wife gets twice the action I do. She gets both members of the other couple. I get just one. But I am just not attracted to another man. Period. No matter how hard I try or how much liquor I drink, it's just not going to happen.

Now I'm very open minded, and my wife and I have many gay friends, and I acutally prefer hanging-out with them than many of our uptight straight friends. I'm not. You are. That's just fine. I have been propositioned on several occasions by gay men, but I'm hopelessly hetrosexual, and they don't try to convince me I have a latent gay tendency somewhere. However, I've had the same arguement you had with a bi-man.

I read a very simple definition posted by someone here a week or so ago, and I loved it. To paraphrase the best I can:

Straight = only being attracted to, and falling in love with, those of the opposite sex.

Bi = being attracted to those of both sexes, but only being able to fall in love with those of the opposite sex.

Gay = being only attracted to, and being able to fall in love with, those of the same sex.

Mr. WS

[shygirl0305]

My man would join you too. I am bi and he is fine with that. My choice and my desires. But he is very straight. We have both had the gambit of room (house) mates over the years from gay to transgender friends. We love people. But he has shared with me some of his friends efforts to "convert" him or to try to make him see some side of things he hasn't seen before. He told me one room mate kissed him, LOL!! Was a GOOD thing they were the BEST of friends LONG BEFORE this!!! LOL! His friend was just convinced that if he could .... We have no idea what he was thinking ... or do we
He said that he has entertained the thought but that it doesn't do anything for him. There is JUST NO SPARK! LOL poor thing. I feel bad for him some times. Our gay friends do say ...well, he is soo tall and thin.. I have also tried to entertain the thought of him being pleasured by a man .. and it to does nothing for me. We HAVE looked at this from every angle we can.

I do not quite understand those types of pressures either.

Maybe they just have alterior motives facelick . My man just states his feelings and asks that they respect it. It has never been a problem other than a first try (especially with good friends). My boyfriend (of almost 6 years) says he just takes it as a compliment. So maybe you can use that to diffuse the irritation you feel sometimes. He tells them he is flattered but not interested. Now that I think about it maybe saying he is flattered makes them think .... well maybe ..never thought about that before.

Sometimes he gets hit on more than me LOL!!

Peace!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by robnbarb

Sorry if I was over the line there being a newbie and all, I just thought I should chime in on this since I had an idea of what might be happening here.

Absolutely not! We love newbies around here! I appreciate your input on this thread!



Shygirl - I can related to being flattered. I got hit on by the pizza guy the other night. I have told the story to everyone I can think of, and they all agree that his was a flat out come on... I was speechless (yeah - it's possible) and had no idea what to say... But - I have to admit - it is kind of cool...

I mean, I knew I was hot to chicks... But now I am crossing over...

I'm not exactly "bending it like Beckham" - but it is cool to know that I am attractive to both sides of the fence...



Spoomonkey

[robnbarb]

This whole thing remindes me of a guy I knew in college, he freely admited to haveing sex with another man, but he said "when I kissed him it felt weird, so that makes me not gay."

All I could do was laugh, kind of felt sorry for the guy but if he had at least said he was bi I wouldn't have said a word.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by robnbarb

This whole thing remindes me of a guy I knew in college, he freely admited to haveing sex with another man, but he said "when I kissed him it felt weird, so that makes me not gay."

All I could do was laugh, kind of felt sorry for the guy but if he had at least said he was bi I wouldn't have said a word.

This goes back to the whole debate about women can be bi, but men get branded as simply being gay.

Mr. WS

[Mephisto]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

--- I got hit on by the pizza guy the other night. I have told the story to everyone I can think of, and they all agree that his was a flat out come on... I was speechless (yeah - it's possible) and had no idea what to say... But - I have to admit - it is kind of cool...

I mean, I knew I was hot to chicks... But now I am crossing over...

--



Spoomonkey

This reminds me of a conversation i had once -- A buddy of mine had been out with friends, and there were some Gay men there as well -- Everyone knows that he is Homophobic, but at the end of the night, he was still insulted when none of the Gay men had hit on him.

[good times]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

So why can people not accept the fact that I was born straight? I didn't choose it - God made me this way. I don't want to limit my sexual options, but I can't help myself... I like good old T&A - like my father and his father before him... I am not asking to throw a parade or get my own special day at Disney World... I just want to be allowed to live in this heterosexual hell that is my lot in life.

I am not "a little" bisexual.

I am not "mostly" straight.

I just dig chicks. Period... End of story...

Exactly, me too, couldn't have said it better myself.

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

And if I don't figure it out soon, I am going to make my own flag (I am thinking about going with 'Blue') and marching to Washington. I'll call it the "Million Straight Guy" march... But after my discussions with folks, I am not sure I'll be able to find that many to march with me...

Spoomonkey

I'm there dude, I haven't been able to figure this out either. In another thread the suggestion was made that we males were just supressing our homosexual tendancies and I have taken the same position. I was born this way, no problem with you if you were born some other way, but I was made totally hetrosexual.

[ALilOEverything]

I don't hate you 'cause you're straight... and I wouldn't hate you if you were bi or gay. You are what you are, I embrace that and I wouldn't want you to be any different. And I would want the same to be expected from me...to always be myself, and be true to myself for who I feel I am. I'm comfortable sharing my sexuality with men and women (I do lean a little more toward men) and I wouldn't want anyone to put thoughts into my head that would make me feel differently about myself. I think there is a lot wrong with trying to convince gay men or lesbian woman they are straight...just accept everyone for who they are, embrace the differences... and enjoy the fact we aren't all alike. It makes life much more interesting.

[BradAndJanet]

Spoo, as someone who I suppose is 'a paler shade of gay', I have to say that I disagree with your friend there. Who's to say what another person's sexuality is or should be? I think we're all capable of exploring ourselves without the outside 'help', you know?

It's OK to be straight. Can I still come to the march?

-B

[jcbicouple]

We are both bi, but certainly don't think everyone is. lol. That's the same mind set as you are either Gay or straight. Small minds think alike.
We like the description in another post where the sexuality is on a bar with Straight on one end, gay on the other. We happen to fall in between. Some fall closer to one end than the other, and some are just on the ends, no in between at all. It's all ok. Just don't try to force others to move to where you are.

[Chicup]

There are certain things which set some people off.

Any thread on weight and male bisexuality is sure to cause it here. :rollseyes

Being someone who is 100% straight I know exactly where you are comming from. I think some bisexual males themselves feel a bit guilty about being bisexual and want to justify it by saying all men are bisexual, we just don't know it yet, are homophobic, repressed, or whatever. While I think there are more men with bisexual fantasies then admit to it, I am not one of those males

[sexcouple]

I don't think it matters if your gay or straight or bi......but I have always been a little curious about this......I have a brother that is gay (now) but was married before.....Both him and his partner were abused as children and many of their friends that are gay (which I understand that most are not!) were also abused. They think also that most men have gay in them somewhere, I am here to say that my husband will definately be at the march....

But I have always wondered why men that were abused by men as children are gay (not all), and some women who were abused by men are lesbians......

Just a thought really...but being around gays for a long time....Mr. Spoo is right there are alot of people that feel no one is being honest about their sexual preference.....