Can a straight couple swing?

[NealnAnji]

It is good to know that the bi-feamle thing is not as forbidding as it sounds. We have noticed that in the majority of swinger ads the female is billed as at leat bi-curious if not bi. This bi things turns her off completely since she is staright. She does enjoy being friends with women; just does not like to engage in sexual intimacy with women. For both of us the erotic fun, foreplay (tongue play on vaginal lips or her clit) and the ultimate act of intercourse, with the man's penis in the lady's vagina , is a strictly male/female hetero act for sexual fulfillment.

[wildchld97]

Sometimes I find that advertising that I'm "bisexual" tends to actually limit our activites with strictly hetero couples. Sometimes when we've met a couple who are completely strait and I tell them that I'm bi...they seem to have recoiled in fear. It's as if the knowledge of what I'm *capable* of doing to the female is too much for them to handle psychologically....regardless if I assure them that I won't do anything that makes either one of them uncomfortable.

We have had many wonderful experiences with strait couples. We let them know up front what we're into and they let us know what they're into...and more importantly what they're not. We ended up same room swapping and occasionally same bed...no touching between the women. It's just a matter of communication IMHO.

[ratimadan]

Judging by a great majority of the the ads (where the female is billed as bisexual), it seems that many couples think of a bisexual female as an asset in attracting other couples to swing. Since this (bisexuality) may limit attracting hetero couples, it may be best to downplay this aspect when approaching other couples through ads or in person. After deciding to swing, during the preliminaries, i.e., foreplay, etc., one could casually bring up the topic to gauge the reaction of the other couple. If they accept that is fine, if not, very little is lost since the couples can swap mates for strictly heterosexual play followed by intercourse.

[Chemistry_0518]

Wildchild, we have never had a problem with a woman who has stated that she is bisexual, and we have had more than a couple of wonderful meetings in that regard. We have ONLY had a problem with one guy who suddenly decided to "confess" that HE was bi and hoped that I (the male) wouldn't mind. THAT sucks! (no pun intended)

[xxoticangel]

We have always advertised Angel as "bi" since she has had some very good expierences with other women and is open to another. On a scale with 0 being completely straight and 100 being completey lesbian/gay she rates herself as 5-10% lesbian.
There have been a couple of couples (sounds weird) that were not interested when they learned that she has been with other women. We have even been to an event where girl/girl contact was discouraged. On the other hand we have had delightful times with couples that were only interested in girl/girl play. The guys watched and when the girls were satisfied we joined in.

[MIbbwcpl]

I can't see why hetero's can't swing. I'm bi, but most of the thrill for dh and myself is seeing the other with another person. Yes, g/g did get us into our first experience, but thats not what it's all about.

[javelin]

I got such a nice response to my "Can a Hetro couple swing" question that I would like to pose a followup question.

We have little experience in the swing scene, only soft play with two couples a few times over the course of almost three years. (We are kind of picky, so finding the right combination is hard.) Anyway, I have had the opportunity to meet many couples who swing, and observe many others at such places as on-premise clubs, Hedo3, Desire Resort, etc. Again, I say that in the majority of cases, it is the bisexual girl who enables the initial contact between couples. Yes I know there are expections, but in my experience this has dominated the scene.

Now, in our case, with a non-bi wife, I tend to be the front man for our couple, but it seems that in the majority of cases it is the woman who is the front person for the couple. When I have met and kept in contact with couples, it is 90% of time with the female side. The male side seems very passive. Whereas in our couple, the female side is very passive. This does make me feel a bit uncomfortable, as I think guys should talk to guys and girls to girls, but that has not been my experience.

So, the followup, finally, in bi-girl couples is the guy usually passive? This has presented something of a problem for us as my wife is passive, so usually the female side of the other couple and I hit it off, while the male side of the other couple and my wife seem oblivious to each other. Both being passive that seems to make perfect sense, but has made "hooking" up almost difficult for us. I guess my wife wants a good looking guy, with a personality who is outgoing and somewhat agressive. And we are finding predominately bi-girl couples with passive male counterparts.

Don't mean to label anyone, or piss anyone off, as I said this has been our experience now over the course of a couple years. Am I unusually unlucky, or handicapped by a passive non-bi wife.

Thanks for any thoughtful replies.

[HotCoupleGnS]

I would like to meet the couples you have met! Most of the couples we have met it is always the guy talking all the time. We hardly ever get to talk to the girl.

[JustAskJulie]

It really varies. I have to agree with HotCoupleGnS tho, in most couples we met it was the male half of the other couple that was outgoing and me talking while the other wife and my hubby (at the time) melted into the walls. I think that's really part of the 4party click that has to happen. You have to find another couple where all 4 of you can click together and have some chemistry.... and they are out there.

[javelin]

Weird how it seems for us it has always been one way. Glad to hear that is maybe not the general case. Thanks.

[Joe_Ang]

Originally Posted by HotCoupleGnS

I would like to meet the couples you have met! Most of the couples we have met it is always the guy talking all the time. We hardly ever get to talk to the girl.

I definately have to Dito this. I would love more aggresive women, I figured we were different than the norm as I am passive, (but talk online more) and Ang is definately the aggressor. I bet two years is frustrating, but three years hasn't fostered too many of aggr. woman, shy male for us. Just figured it was part of the ongoing difficulty to match 4 people.

Joe

[Eroica]

In our case it depends on the other couple. With one of our close couple friends it was me (the husband) and the other couple's wife who initially communicated. One night in a club, in a different situation, it was my wife who initiated contact with another woman and me and the other husband who "went with the flow". So, based on our experience, either of us can be the aggressive one depending on the people and situation. However, in group parties where most the women are bi, it is pretty much the women dictating the flow.