Any bad experiences? Any why?

BedroomAccess.com · 07-23-2002, 01:54 AM

Hi all,

Just wanted to see if any couples here had any bad experiences in the lifestyle. And if so, what are the things that went wrong?

FlyBiNiter · 07-31-2002, 06:55 PM

Our first FMF went very badly. We liked the lady, and had become friends with her, so it seemed like a comfortable situation for a first timer like me. How wrong we were. She did nothing. She didn't touch me at all, and only barely my man. She was simply content to just lay there and let us please her, with NO effort on her part to even join in. It was so awful, and since then, I have been afraid to try again. I would like to explore this side of myself with someone who actually wants to participate, but I still fear a repeat of that fiasco.

OhioCouple · 07-31-2002, 08:24 PM

FliBiNiter,

We have had a couple of not what I would really consider "BAD" experiences. They certainly could be considered less than desirable, but we feel that it was a direct result of our inexperience and a poor choice in partners.

You don't say how long you have been in the lifestyle but indicate that this was your first FMF. If you are totally new, then expect to learn as you go. Don't be afraid to test the waters again so to speak. Who knows the next time could be spectaular!

For us we have learned to be upfront with all of our potential partners so that everyone knows our boundries and expectations. And I will say it took a few times to learn this. Guess we were just either "easy" or "hard headed"! <img border="0" alt="[Fun]" title="" src="graemlins/fun.gif" />

Lori ~ VOTE FOR JULIE TODAY! <img border="0" alt="[Blowjob]" title="" src="graemlins/bj.gif" />

CanadianCouple · 07-31-2002, 08:57 PM

Our first time ended up as an out and out disaster. The creep tried repeatedly to enter my wife without a condom (despite a clear agreement on both their parts to use them with us), and in fact he actually succeeded in some penetration on two occasions, with my wife ending up in tears after the second. During the traumatic drive home, I was certain that was the start and finish of our swinging adventures, but after leaving it completely up to her, she agreed to try again. Our second time, actually many times with the same couple over a period of several months, went much better. Not perfect, but light years ahead of the first cretins we were with.

Dan

Brian and Jo · 08-01-2002, 11:13 AM

We had a bad experience shortly after we started to swing. We met this couple after they replied to our ad. Like us they were a professional middle class couple. The lady was very attractive and a very accomplished performer. The man on the other hand was a bit of a jerk - he told disgusting jokes and had difficulty getting and maintaining an erection which is probably why he preferred to watch the action rather than join in. Jo did not like him at all but she got on famously with the woman. Fortunately they split up a few months after we met them and we continued to meet with the lady on a social basis only at first but then one evening she told us that she had been celibate since splitting up with her husband and was simply aching for some good sex. We had our first of many FMF threesomes together that evening. The lady remarried a few years later and she and her second husband became members of our regular group of swinging couples. Out of the bad sometimes something good happens!

FlyBiNiter · 09-19-2002, 02:41 PM

Sorry for not replying sooner... I've been away from the board for a while... We're very new to the lifestyle, although we have been members of a local swingers club for about 3 years now... I'm shy by nature, so we don't exactly rush into anything.. LOL Yeah, we should have had more conversation with this lady before things progressed, but there SEEMED to be a clear understanding... won't rule out trying again, but next time I'll know more before I open myself up to that kind of humiliation.... She was very experienced... I would have thought that she would have at least tried to make it a bit easier for me, given that she knew this was a first for me... I would hope that all of you out there who have more experience would help out the newbies when you are in a "situation" with one of us... Wish me luck the next go-round !!

mehim · 09-20-2002, 07:31 AM

hi .me here again!
well we been swinging for 3 years now too .our first couple we met we just talked .they wanted to do some but it was just to fast for me lol .i like to take my time .the realy bad experiance we had, was with our friend and you know all about it...<was my first post> im over it, and since that met a couple we all four have a lot in comon fishing -campen- sex <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" />

Quin · 09-23-2002, 06:29 AM

I've made a few bad experiences. :p I've walked out on a few threesomes after finding out that I was lied to and/or decieved to get me to be involved. Oh and believe me, I do time my departure to be at a time when people are just about to cum.

Maybe next time they won't lie and/or decieve.

Quin
<img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" />

sportync · 09-23-2002, 11:23 AM

Quinn, I like you already, and I don't even know you...I wouldn't want to piss you off, though!!!
As for bad experiences, our only experience with another couple happened with some friends of 8 years who we felt really comfortable with. We wound up doing some friendly warm-up with the other couple, then same room sex with our own partners. The next time we were together, we did the full swap, and the other girl was so drunk that afterwards, she passed out, leaving my wife to play with me and the other guy. We had a real good time, but later learned that they were having unprotected sex with a rather large number of casual acquaintences. Haven't been back since, and my wife really got cold feet because of it. She's just now considering trying it again, if we can find a couple who doesn't drink so much, and are a lot more honest about their activities. It's been quite a challenge to get her to even consider trying something like this again, as she felt very betrayed by people she considered to be close friends.

funfloridacpl · 04-30-2003, 11:55 PM

Hi everyone!
We are relatively new to the swingers board, but have been in the lifestyle for nearly 3 years. I just had to post on this topic, because we too had a terrible experience once that nearly made me want to walk away from the lifestyle.

We were still "newbies," and had met this really nice, professional couple online. After several weeks of chatting online and on the phone, we felt that there were enough things in common to move to the next level. We had dinner, a few drinks and eventually checked into a hotel. We had joining rooms, and everything seemed great at first. Just as things were heating up, the guy asks me if I minded "watching" him for a little while???? I wasn't exactly sure what he meant but just nodded my head. To my surprise he meant that he wanted to "J-OFF" and have me WATCH. Now maybe for some this is erotic and exciting, but it was never discussed beforehand and I would have never agreed to it anyhow! So being kinda new and too darn shy to say QUIT, I sat there and watched in discust! Afterwards we talked and finally got busy again after half an hour or so. THINGS were going really well and I started thinking that maybe he had been nervous or something before. Well, the nightmare was not over! In the middle of action he WHIPPED it out, pulled off the condom and FINISHED himself! I couldn't belive it. He then thanked me for such a great evening and acted so proud of himself! He then went on to tell me that he "does this" several times a day, and is really GOOD at IT.

Needless to say we never spoke to the couple again. But, what I can say is that it was a BIG learning experience.

Being new at that time, I was afraid that this kind of thing happened often. I think I scared away several couples after that because I asked so many questions before we would agree to meet them. But I am happy to say that we have had some nice experiences since, and have never had anything remotely as goofy happen again.

So to anyone new in the lifestyle, my advice is to not give up! There are many great people in this community and you shouldn't let a bad experience cause you to keep from enjoying all that this lifestyle has to offer!

Ashley · 05-01-2003, 04:20 AM

My first experience was bad...I've posted about it here before.
My boyfriend is an experienced swinger and I allowed myself to be led into swinging with a couple I wasn't attracted to because I didn't have enough balls to speak up. Since that time I've found my voice...lol and had several good experiences. I find it amazing that with the number of first time fiascos that most people continue to try to make the lifestyle work for them. It's a wonder there's any of us left

mikemary945 · 05-01-2003, 05:13 AM

Oh what a weekend! We, like many newbies, had finally connected with what was to be our first couple over the Net. We met them for coffee, and they were very nice, and very experienced. We invited them to the house for the next weekend. Since we all worked in DC, they picked Mary up from work on Friday evening and drove to Fredericksburg, while I drove my vanpool home. After we had been in the house for a while, he went out to their van to bring in their bag. Well, out came a boom box, gregorian chant CDs, toys, lubes, you name it. Mind you, we were newbies, with a very inexperienced sex life, and this was all pretty intimidating, but off to bed anyway! We had all decided separate rooms, so the lady and I headed for the guest room, while he and Mary stayed on the couch necking. She and I had an ok time for an hour or so, but I kept hearing Mary yelling from the family room. The yells were obviously from pleasure, but this was a lady that never made much noise during sex before! My playmate eventually suggested we go see what they were doing, as they had obviously moved on to the other bedroom, so we trotted naked to the other room. He was pounding Mary senseless, and she was in the "zone". My intimidation level ratcheted up a notch. We watched them for a while, but I couldn't get the lady interested in playing while we were in there. They finally took a break, and we all sat on the bed chatting while he explained how he made Mary ejaculate for the first time, and Mary told me I needed to learn what he knew. Intimidation up another notch! Mary then decided she wanted to try bi, so while we two guys occupied her from the waist up, the lady proceeded to drive her wild below. Another break ensued, and we eventually went to bed around 2:00. I'd never gotten my playmate to play with me again at that point, and was starting to wonder about my abilities (I was heavy at the time, with all the insecurities that carries.), it was REALLY wearing on my confidence.

Saturday morning, we were supposed to take our Grandaughter to her ballet class, and I gallantly volunteered to do the duty, and told Mary they could play while I was gone if they wanted to. During the 2 hours I was gone, I almost had an anxiety attack thinking of having to go back into that environment. When I got home, I found nobody in the main area of the house, and sure enough, they were in our bedroom. What a site! Mary and the lady were in 69, with Mary on top, and he was pounding Mary doggie style while the ladies were eating each other. It was the hottest scene I'd ever seen. He said "the girls will take care of you next Mike", so I undressed and got in bed with them. After a bit, he came, and they decided to take a break. He and Mary headed out to get a drink, while the lady stayed in bed with me. As I started to stroke her, she decided to get a drink to, and left the room. I waited for a while, and nobody came back. I headed to the family room, and they were sitting on the love seat while Mary was smoking a cig at the stove. I sat on the couch, and we all just chatted. I was devastated. Eventually, they said she wasn't feeling well, and they packed up and left. I was a wreck, and Mary couldn't understand it. She'd had the time of her life.

Well, it turns out the lady had a bad kidney infection, and was in pain while having sex, but didn't want to say anything, so it wasn't me at all. She actually ended up in the hospital. It took me weeks to get over the feelings of worthlessness, but I finally decided to try to learn what he knew. I did, and the Lifestyle became great. G-spot massage and I became good buddies! Long time ago now, but thought it was worth sharing.

Mike

OhioCouple · 05-01-2003, 07:32 AM

All I can say is thank goodness the second couple we met was not our first, or we would have abandoned this side hobby forever.

After a couple of non-swing meets we decided to go ahead and play with them. They were attractive, well educated and we all got along really well. We seemed to have a lot in common. Turns out when the lights go down and the clothes are shed....we had NOTHING in common!

They invited us to their home and we felt pretty comfortable doing so. As they lived quite some distance we were invited to stay the night, which we accepted.

To make a long story short, he had a tongue like a flittering lizard (fast and hard), liked to watch some really trashy porn while getting it on, she was a biter...and I don't mean nipper either! My poor hubby was lucky to get out of there with his manhood still intact, sore but intact....and they were into some pretty heavy "spanking" (with each other, not us thank God) I mean the tear drawing kind... and she was a screamer to the 'nth degree!!!

Bear in mind we were new, this was our second adventure and we had no clue how to get the hell out of there while we were still breathing and leave with everything we arrived with.

While they were in one of their heavy 'thrashing' modes, we slipped outside to the hot tub area to discuss our options. We were in the middle of absolutely nowhere, the drive home would have been about two hours and it was late. What we decided to do was go in and make love with each other and refuse to be with the other partner again. (We really should have just packed up and left.) Ironically when we went back in, they were finished with their 'brand' of getting it on and had shut off the trashy porn and were back to *normal*. The people that we thought they were. We stayed the night, got up the next morning, she had made a wonderful breakfast of fresh fruits and breads, we dined on the patio, talked for about an hour and came home.

They still contact us from time to time and have tried to arrange to meet again. We aren't going to that little shop of horrors ever again!

We can laugh about this now, but it wasn't a laughing matter then. One lesson we learned is that we now engage in conversations of likes and dislikes in the bedroom...BEFORE HAND!

Lori

brneyes · 05-05-2003, 11:31 AM

We have been in the lifestyle for alittle over a year. When we first decided to get into the lifestyle we checked out a motel party going on. They accepted us in their little group and we sat around and talked with several couples. They were kind enough to answer all our questions and put some of our fears to rest. Well, we didn't do anything that night but chat. So we got to talking with this one couple thru emails and on the phone and decided to meet and see what happens. Well, we all had alot in common and decided to give it a try. We went back to their place and chatted and decided to try and swap. Things were going great till we moved to the bedroom. While the guy and I were getting it on my hubby was having a few problems. It seems the gal wouldn't let him penetrate her at all. At fist he thought it was him, but later found out she was hurt by some other guy and was still sore. It was a nice evening but not so nice for my hubby. When we found out later that this was not the case at all. She doesn't let other do anything but oral sex with her. Needless to say that was disappointing. The couple still tried to hook up with us. Then we went to a group gathering and these people were so nice to us we felt very comfortable. We have even hooked up with some of the couples and had a very, very nice time.
So I'm here to say don't take the first bad experience and give it all up. We stuck with it and have found a great group to belong to and some very wonderful couples to be with. It made our choice of being in the lifestyle worth it.

brneyes

Lovers6770 · 05-05-2003, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by brneyes
We have been in the lifestyle for alittle over a year. When we first decided to get into the lifestyle we checked out a motel party going on. They accepted us in their little group and we sat around and talked with several couples. They were kind enough to answer all our questions and put some of our fears to rest. Well, we didn't do anything that night but chat. So we got to talking with this one couple thru emails and on the phone and decided to meet and see what happens. Well, we all had alot in common and decided to give it a try. We went back to their place and chatted and decided to try and swap. Things were going great till we moved to the bedroom. While the guy and I were getting it on my hubby was having a few problems. It seems the gal wouldn't let him penetrate her at all. At fist he thought it was him, but later found out she was hurt by some other guy and was still sore. It was a nice evening but not so nice for my hubby. When we found out later that this was not the case at all. She doesn't let other do anything but oral sex with her. Needless to say that was disappointing. The couple still tried to hook up with us. Then we went to a group gathering and these people were so nice to us we felt very comfortable. We have even hooked up with some of the couples and had a very, very nice time.
So I'm here to say don't take the first bad experience and give it all up. We stuck with it and have found a great group to belong to and some very wonderful couples to be with. It made our choice of being in the lifestyle worth it.

brneyes

That's too bad. I don't know why some people just can't seem to be open an honest with others sometimes, even when they are with their spouse. Do date we haven't really had what I would call a "bad" experience per se, but I think that that is because we never let it get that far. If we see/feel the situation going south, WE SPEAK UP. At that point it either corrects itself or it stops.

Only time I can think of was one time out at a B&D/S&M club (her idea) with a small group of friends. Some single guy started fingering my wife without asking. By the time she realized WHO was doing it he had been at it a good 30sec or more. She yelled at him something good. Then the guy has the NERVE to try it again. Had "I" realized what was going on I'm, sure it would have turned "ugly".

Luckly it was the end of the evening anyway, but it pretty much killed the rest of the night. We "hunted" him down in the club with security and had his ass thrown out big time. The club had lots of security so it wasn't their fault. Just one of thoughs things that can happen in that kind of environment.

Paul & Kalin

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07-23-2002, 01:54 AM	#1 (permalink)
BedroomAccess.com Active Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 24 Location: CA	Any bad experiences? Any why? Hi all, Just wanted to see if any couples here had any bad experiences in the lifestyle. And if so, what are the things that went wrong?

07-31-2002, 06:55 PM	#2 (permalink)
FlyBiNiter Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 121 Location: Oregon Status: Attached Female	Our first FMF went very badly. We liked the lady, and had become friends with her, so it seemed like a comfortable situation for a first timer like me. How wrong we were. She did nothing. She didn't touch me at all, and only barely my man. She was simply content to just lay there and let us please her, with NO effort on her part to even join in. It was so awful, and since then, I have been afraid to try again. I would like to explore this side of myself with someone who actually wants to participate, but I still fear a repeat of that fiasco. Last edited by JustAskJulie : 11-14-2004 at 03:26 PM. Reason: to fix quotes

07-31-2002, 08:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,616 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	FliBiNiter, We have had a couple of not what I would really consider "BAD" experiences. They certainly could be considered less than desirable, but we feel that it was a direct result of our inexperience and a poor choice in partners. You don't say how long you have been in the lifestyle but indicate that this was your first FMF. If you are totally new, then expect to learn as you go. Don't be afraid to test the waters again so to speak. Who knows the next time could be spectaular! For us we have learned to be upfront with all of our potential partners so that everyone knows our boundries and expectations. And I will say it took a few times to learn this. Guess we were just either "easy" or "hard headed"! <img border="0" alt="[Fun]" title="" src="graemlins/fun.gif" /> Lori ~ VOTE FOR JULIE TODAY! <img border="0" alt="[Blowjob]" title="" src="graemlins/bj.gif" /> __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

09-20-2002, 07:31 AM	#7 (permalink)
mehim Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 143 Location: ks Status: couple	hi .me here again! well we been swinging for 3 years now too .our first couple we met we just talked .they wanted to do some but it was just to fast for me lol .i like to take my time .the realy bad experiance we had, was with our friend and you know all about it...<was my first post> im over it, and since that met a couple we all four have a lot in comon fishing -campen- sex <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" /> __________________ sex is like math, first you subtract the clothes,add the bed, divided the legs and hope you do not multiply at the end "

07-31-2002, 08:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	Our first time ended up as an out and out disaster. The creep tried repeatedly to enter my wife without a condom (despite a clear agreement on both their parts to use them with us), and in fact he actually succeeded in some penetration on two occasions, with my wife ending up in tears after the second. During the traumatic drive home, I was certain that was the start and finish of our swinging adventures, but after leaving it completely up to her, she agreed to try again. Our second time, actually many times with the same couple over a period of several months, went much better. Not perfect, but light years ahead of the first cretins we were with. Dan

08-01-2002, 11:13 AM	#5 (permalink)
Brian and Jo Brian and Jo Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 238 Location: Ontario Status: Couple Blog Entries: 3	We had a bad experience shortly after we started to swing. We met this couple after they replied to our ad. Like us they were a professional middle class couple. The lady was very attractive and a very accomplished performer. The man on the other hand was a bit of a jerk - he told disgusting jokes and had difficulty getting and maintaining an erection which is probably why he preferred to watch the action rather than join in. Jo did not like him at all but she got on famously with the woman. Fortunately they split up a few months after we met them and we continued to meet with the lady on a social basis only at first but then one evening she told us that she had been celibate since splitting up with her husband and was simply aching for some good sex. We had our first of many FMF threesomes together that evening. The lady remarried a few years later and she and her second husband became members of our regular group of swinging couples. Out of the bad sometimes something good happens!

09-19-2002, 02:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
FlyBiNiter Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 121 Location: Oregon Status: Attached Female	Sorry for not replying sooner... I've been away from the board for a while... We're very new to the lifestyle, although we have been members of a local swingers club for about 3 years now... I'm shy by nature, so we don't exactly rush into anything.. LOL Yeah, we should have had more conversation with this lady before things progressed, but there SEEMED to be a clear understanding... won't rule out trying again, but next time I'll know more before I open myself up to that kind of humiliation.... She was very experienced... I would have thought that she would have at least tried to make it a bit easier for me, given that she knew this was a first for me... I would hope that all of you out there who have more experience would help out the newbies when you are in a "situation" with one of us... Wish me luck the next go-round !!

09-23-2002, 06:29 AM	#8 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	I've made a few bad experiences. :p I've walked out on a few threesomes after finding out that I was lied to and/or decieved to get me to be involved. Oh and believe me, I do time my departure to be at a time when people are just about to cum. Maybe next time they won't lie and/or decieve. Quin <img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" /> __________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

09-23-2002, 11:23 AM	#9 (permalink)
sportync Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 232 Location: eastern north carolina	Quinn, I like you already, and I don't even know you...I wouldn't want to piss you off, though!!! As for bad experiences, our only experience with another couple happened with some friends of 8 years who we felt really comfortable with. We wound up doing some friendly warm-up with the other couple, then same room sex with our own partners. The next time we were together, we did the full swap, and the other girl was so drunk that afterwards, she passed out, leaving my wife to play with me and the other guy. We had a real good time, but later learned that they were having unprotected sex with a rather large number of casual acquaintences. Haven't been back since, and my wife really got cold feet because of it. She's just now considering trying it again, if we can find a couple who doesn't drink so much, and are a lot more honest about their activities. It's been quite a challenge to get her to even consider trying something like this again, as she felt very betrayed by people she considered to be close friends. __________________ this ain't no dress rehearsal

04-30-2003, 11:55 PM	#10 (permalink)
funfloridacpl Registered Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 4 Location: Central Florida Area Status: STR8 Couple	Hi everyone! We are relatively new to the swingers board, but have been in the lifestyle for nearly 3 years. I just had to post on this topic, because we too had a terrible experience once that nearly made me want to walk away from the lifestyle. We were still "newbies," and had met this really nice, professional couple online. After several weeks of chatting online and on the phone, we felt that there were enough things in common to move to the next level. We had dinner, a few drinks and eventually checked into a hotel. We had joining rooms, and everything seemed great at first. Just as things were heating up, the guy asks me if I minded "watching" him for a little while???? I wasn't exactly sure what he meant but just nodded my head. To my surprise he meant that he wanted to "J-OFF" and have me WATCH. Now maybe for some this is erotic and exciting, but it was never discussed beforehand and I would have never agreed to it anyhow! So being kinda new and too darn shy to say QUIT, I sat there and watched in discust! Afterwards we talked and finally got busy again after half an hour or so. THINGS were going really well and I started thinking that maybe he had been nervous or something before. Well, the nightmare was not over! In the middle of action he WHIPPED it out, pulled off the condom and FINISHED himself! I couldn't belive it. He then thanked me for such a great evening and acted so proud of himself! He then went on to tell me that he "does this" several times a day, and is really GOOD at IT. Needless to say we never spoke to the couple again. But, what I can say is that it was a BIG learning experience. Being new at that time, I was afraid that this kind of thing happened often. I think I scared away several couples after that because I asked so many questions before we would agree to meet them. But I am happy to say that we have had some nice experiences since, and have never had anything remotely as goofy happen again. So to anyone new in the lifestyle, my advice is to not give up! There are many great people in this community and you shouldn't let a bad experience cause you to keep from enjoying all that this lifestyle has to offer!

05-01-2003, 04:20 AM	#11 (permalink)
Ashley Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 207 Location: Arizona Status: Couple	My first experience was bad...I've posted about it here before. My boyfriend is an experienced swinger and I allowed myself to be led into swinging with a couple I wasn't attracted to because I didn't have enough balls to speak up. Since that time I've found my voice...lol and had several good experiences. I find it amazing that with the number of first time fiascos that most people continue to try to make the lifestyle work for them. It's a wonder there's any of us left

05-01-2003, 05:13 AM	#12 (permalink)
mikemary945 Active Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 19 Location: Fredericksburg, Va Status: Couple	Oh what a weekend! We, like many newbies, had finally connected with what was to be our first couple over the Net. We met them for coffee, and they were very nice, and very experienced. We invited them to the house for the next weekend. Since we all worked in DC, they picked Mary up from work on Friday evening and drove to Fredericksburg, while I drove my vanpool home. After we had been in the house for a while, he went out to their van to bring in their bag. Well, out came a boom box, gregorian chant CDs, toys, lubes, you name it. Mind you, we were newbies, with a very inexperienced sex life, and this was all pretty intimidating, but off to bed anyway! We had all decided separate rooms, so the lady and I headed for the guest room, while he and Mary stayed on the couch necking. She and I had an ok time for an hour or so, but I kept hearing Mary yelling from the family room. The yells were obviously from pleasure, but this was a lady that never made much noise during sex before! My playmate eventually suggested we go see what they were doing, as they had obviously moved on to the other bedroom, so we trotted naked to the other room. He was pounding Mary senseless, and she was in the "zone". My intimidation level ratcheted up a notch. We watched them for a while, but I couldn't get the lady interested in playing while we were in there. They finally took a break, and we all sat on the bed chatting while he explained how he made Mary ejaculate for the first time, and Mary told me I needed to learn what he knew. Intimidation up another notch! Mary then decided she wanted to try bi, so while we two guys occupied her from the waist up, the lady proceeded to drive her wild below. Another break ensued, and we eventually went to bed around 2:00. I'd never gotten my playmate to play with me again at that point, and was starting to wonder about my abilities (I was heavy at the time, with all the insecurities that carries.), it was REALLY wearing on my confidence. Saturday morning, we were supposed to take our Grandaughter to her ballet class, and I gallantly volunteered to do the duty, and told Mary they could play while I was gone if they wanted to. During the 2 hours I was gone, I almost had an anxiety attack thinking of having to go back into that environment. When I got home, I found nobody in the main area of the house, and sure enough, they were in our bedroom. What a site! Mary and the lady were in 69, with Mary on top, and he was pounding Mary doggie style while the ladies were eating each other. It was the hottest scene I'd ever seen. He said "the girls will take care of you next Mike", so I undressed and got in bed with them. After a bit, he came, and they decided to take a break. He and Mary headed out to get a drink, while the lady stayed in bed with me. As I started to stroke her, she decided to get a drink to, and left the room. I waited for a while, and nobody came back. I headed to the family room, and they were sitting on the love seat while Mary was smoking a cig at the stove. I sat on the couch, and we all just chatted. I was devastated. Eventually, they said she wasn't feeling well, and they packed up and left. I was a wreck, and Mary couldn't understand it. She'd had the time of her life. Well, it turns out the lady had a bad kidney infection, and was in pain while having sex, but didn't want to say anything, so it wasn't me at all. She actually ended up in the hospital. It took me weeks to get over the feelings of worthlessness, but I finally decided to try to learn what he knew. I did, and the Lifestyle became great. G-spot massage and I became good buddies! Long time ago now, but thought it was worth sharing. Mike

05-01-2003, 07:32 AM	#13 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,616 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	All I can say is thank goodness the second couple we met was not our first, or we would have abandoned this side hobby forever. After a couple of non-swing meets we decided to go ahead and play with them. They were attractive, well educated and we all got along really well. We seemed to have a lot in common. Turns out when the lights go down and the clothes are shed....we had NOTHING in common! They invited us to their home and we felt pretty comfortable doing so. As they lived quite some distance we were invited to stay the night, which we accepted. To make a long story short, he had a tongue like a flittering lizard (fast and hard), liked to watch some really trashy porn while getting it on, she was a biter...and I don't mean nipper either! My poor hubby was lucky to get out of there with his manhood still intact, sore but intact....and they were into some pretty heavy "spanking" (with each other, not us thank God) I mean the tear drawing kind... and she was a screamer to the 'nth degree!!! Bear in mind we were new, this was our second adventure and we had no clue how to get the hell out of there while we were still breathing and leave with everything we arrived with. While they were in one of their heavy 'thrashing' modes, we slipped outside to the hot tub area to discuss our options. We were in the middle of absolutely nowhere, the drive home would have been about two hours and it was late. What we decided to do was go in and make love with each other and refuse to be with the other partner again. (We really should have just packed up and left.) Ironically when we went back in, they were finished with their 'brand' of getting it on and had shut off the trashy porn and were back to normal. The people that we thought they were. We stayed the night, got up the next morning, she had made a wonderful breakfast of fresh fruits and breads, we dined on the patio, talked for about an hour and came home. They still contact us from time to time and have tried to arrange to meet again. We aren't going to that little shop of horrors ever again! We can laugh about this now, but it wasn't a laughing matter then. One lesson we learned is that we now engage in conversations of likes and dislikes in the bedroom...BEFORE HAND! Lori __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

05-05-2003, 11:31 AM	#14 (permalink)
brneyes Registered Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 3 Location: Southern IL. Status: MF	Bad Experience We have been in the lifestyle for alittle over a year. When we first decided to get into the lifestyle we checked out a motel party going on. They accepted us in their little group and we sat around and talked with several couples. They were kind enough to answer all our questions and put some of our fears to rest. Well, we didn't do anything that night but chat. So we got to talking with this one couple thru emails and on the phone and decided to meet and see what happens. Well, we all had alot in common and decided to give it a try. We went back to their place and chatted and decided to try and swap. Things were going great till we moved to the bedroom. While the guy and I were getting it on my hubby was having a few problems. It seems the gal wouldn't let him penetrate her at all. At fist he thought it was him, but later found out she was hurt by some other guy and was still sore. It was a nice evening but not so nice for my hubby. When we found out later that this was not the case at all. She doesn't let other do anything but oral sex with her. Needless to say that was disappointing. The couple still tried to hook up with us. Then we went to a group gathering and these people were so nice to us we felt very comfortable. We have even hooked up with some of the couples and had a very, very nice time. So I'm here to say don't take the first bad experience and give it all up. We stuck with it and have found a great group to belong to and some very wonderful couples to be with. It made our choice of being in the lifestyle worth it. brneyes

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