Should I beat this guy senseless?

JandCMI · 07-07-2003, 05:16 PM

Some background:

A little over 1 year ago we met this couple through a swinging personal ad site. We got along with them *apparently* very well and had some fun times with them over the course of last summer. All of the sudden, they more or less disappear and we really don't hear from them until just a couple days ago.

The situation:

He IM's C a couple days ago and they start chatting, catching up so to speak. He lets her know that his wife is in another state for the next few days on some family business. You guessed it, he tried to worm his way into a 3some with us.*

*Not that I/we would mind too much but given the fact its the first time we hear from either one of them in almost a year and the first thing he wants is a 3some....no way

We more or less laughed and shrugged it off. Well...yesterday he messages C again and this time he started off with "I WANT TO FUCK YOU LIKE A NASTY WHORE" and then he proceded to tell her his wife thinks I am too much of a bottom and don't know how to fuck on top and he remembers how C got into it when he was banging her and he wants to give her a *real* fucking, etc etc etc

C tells him repeatedly to knock it off and he keeps bugging her. The last thing he said to her before she put him on ignore is "YOU NEED TO BE PUMPED BAD"

Ok, I know this isn't how most male halves of swinging couples act. However, am I justified in wanting to beat the fuck out of this guy for completely disrespecting C and talking to her like some kind of cheap whore and more or less breaking our trust of him? (we thought he was a decent guy and could be trusted with C's personal Aol instant messenger information)

fun_pairTX · 07-07-2003, 05:21 PM

Log his IM's and send them to his wife.

JandCMI · 07-07-2003, 05:26 PM

I just want to follow up by saying I dont advocate any violence and whatnot but this whole incident has crossed my threshold for "being nice" ... grrr

alabamafuntonig · 07-07-2003, 05:45 PM

HUmm ! ---------

a whole year and then all he wants is sex!

to the curb! and quick ....

forget the revenge..life is short...enjoy the fresh smell of flowers!

(oh and send him a nice letter via snail mail addressed to his wife)

bccpl77 · 07-07-2003, 06:46 PM

Hey J
I think you are more than justified for wanting to beat the guy. However I don't think I would be worth it. Especially if he presses assault charges. Then you with have dealings with him for a long time to come. Hopefully ignoring him works and if you want revenge I highly agree in letting the wife know of his doings. In the long run it may be more painful than any good face pounding and it saves you the bruises.
Boy I just sound evil don't I? :evil:
Take care

Vjklander · 07-07-2003, 07:00 PM

This guy sounds a bit off his rocker. I hope he doesn't know your address or too much personal stuff. I'd vote for just ignoring him and letting him go find someone else to harrass. You sure don't need him going around your neighborhood or work telling everyone about what you do in your spare time. It's just not a good idea to provoke a rabid dog.
J

***JustAskJulie*** · 07-07-2003, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fun_pairTX
Log his IM's and send them to his wife.

I second that one. Would probably do a lot more to hurt him than beating him would.... and it would still give you some satisfaction.

thump29 · 07-07-2003, 11:20 PM

I have to agree with everybody else, he isnt worth messing with. I would definetely ignore him and let the wife know what he said to your wife and hopefully he will leave you both alone.

fun_pairTX · 07-08-2003, 12:47 AM

There will be no getting rid of him, ignoring him will just piss him off and make him try harder. Be proactive not passive.
When you battle strike decisively and repeatedly until the results are plain.

OhioCouple · 07-08-2003, 04:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Vjklander
This guy sounds a bit off his rocker. I hope he doesn't know your address or too much personal stuff. I'd vote for just ignoring him and letting him go find someone else to harrass. You sure don't need him going around your neighborhood or work telling everyone about what you do in your spare time. It's just not a good idea to provoke a rabid dog.
J

First off JandCMI, I would be just as ticked off as you are. You have every right to feel that way. I will not do online or email chitter chatter sex talk with anyone and I would be highly offended if they tried to do so with me. I don't care if I have screwed them twenty times, what I have done in the bedroom has no place online for me. This guy has crossed a big line in my book. However, as Jamie said, it isn't a good idea to provoke a rabid dog. If it makes you feel better to do so, vent it all you want right here, but don't do it with the idiot in question.

Does this person know your home address or just your personal e-mail address and IM?

Having recently dealt with a situation in which I had to change my personal address (we are on AOL which is bad when it comes to whatever your sign on name is, as it is also your e-mail address) due to harrassment. (The harrassment was not by a swinger friend). If you are on AOL, no amount of blocking will do if they have your name. In our case the person continually created new names and sent e-mails and IM's. After a couple of months, I transferred all my information to a newly created screen name and notified those that I wished to continue to have it. And I blocked everyone with the exception of those that I physically must add to my IM list. It was the only way to end the frustration.

Hopefully this person does not have your home address or phone number. That is a whole other situation that isn't so easily correctable with the click of 'delete'.

Good luck and let us know how this plays out for you.

wrnakedru · 07-08-2003, 09:40 AM

As Granny used to say: "Do not get into a pissing contest with a skunk. You will not win!"

This is obviously a low life, double dealing, lying, no-moraled son of a gun. Having any involvement with him what-so-ever will NOT elevate him to your level, merely lower you to his. And I do not believe that is a place you want to be.

Block him from writing to you, screen your phone calls with caller i.d. or your answering machine.

Gain your vicarious enjoyment by considering all the possible scenarios of vengence you could bestow upon him. Picture it in your mind, and if need be - laugh demoniacly and gleefully.

He said his wife was out of town for a "few days", so this shouldn't go on for long. The timing of the contact from him is a clear indication he and his Mrs. had not discussed this prior to her family business trip. Her return will put a stop to his advances.

At this juncture however, I am in disagreement with the other posters in this thread.

There is no doubt his life would be impacted by his wife being informed of his duplicity. However, the reason for that would be because his wife would be very hurt. And SHE has done nothing to deserve that sort of disregard.

Additionally, if it is believed he would retaliate ten-fold if phsically assaulted - imagine his desire for revenge if his marriage is impacted. Knowing you have made his life hell is not worth causing pain to her. Her role as his wife will make life difficult enough.

Do not delude yourself for a moment that he would recognize it as a result of HIS actions; YOU and YOURS would be targeted in some form or fashion.

It is disappointing to discover, even after a year's time, that you were mistaken about this man's character. You have said though, that the relationship was over. So bury it and go on from here.

P.S. One other item: be certain that you and your Mrs. are in total agreement about how this is going to be dealt with, now and/or in the future. It loses considerable impact for one of you to draw a line in the sand if the other is not of the same accord.

Elusive BiFem · 07-08-2003, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by wrnakedru
As Granny used to say: "Do not get into a pissing contest with a skunk. You will not win!"

...and everything else wrnakedru said is about as sensible as it comes. -EBF

sportync · 07-08-2003, 10:17 AM

But you've got to admit that it would be a lot of fun to fill his brand new convertable with a load of wet cement, or if you might know any hog farmers....mmmmmm???
Seriously, this guy is an asshole with a capitol A.....forget that you ever knew him, and if you ever do by chance catch him alone with no witnessess.....well......nobody saw a thing, so it's his word against yours and "no, your honor, I really have no idea whatsoever as to why his balls were found in that alley.
<EG> Sportync

bear_n_bunny · 07-09-2003, 09:00 AM

While this guy is clearly a major league asshole, and it might give you great satisfaction to open a really big can of whoopass on the boy...I would just drop it. You've blocked him on IM, don't respond to any emails or the like, just let 'em go. And that includes not sending the transcript of your wife's online conversation to his wife.

If the guys knows much about you all, such as where you live, common friends/acquaintences, etc, he could cause you all sorts of problems by spreading information about you (true or not) around in places where you might not want it.

If you were still in high school you might get away with strumming his gourd, but not now. Just let your silence speak and leave it at that.

Bear

J & K · 07-10-2003, 11:53 PM

Very simple---block his e-mail addy and take him off your IM with a block list. He won't know if you are online. Blow him off as a lesson learned.

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07-07-2003, 05:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
JandCMI Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 82 Location: Detroit, Michigan Status: Male half of couple Swing Lifestyle Name:jandcmi28	Should I beat this guy senseless? Some background: A little over 1 year ago we met this couple through a swinging personal ad site. We got along with them apparently very well and had some fun times with them over the course of last summer. All of the sudden, they more or less disappear and we really don't hear from them until just a couple days ago. The situation: He IM's C a couple days ago and they start chatting, catching up so to speak. He lets her know that his wife is in another state for the next few days on some family business. You guessed it, he tried to worm his way into a 3some with us.* Not that I/we would mind too much but given the fact its the first time we hear from either one of them in almost a year and the first thing he wants is a 3some....no way We more or less laughed and shrugged it off. Well...yesterday he messages C again and this time he started off with "I WANT TO FUCK YOU LIKE A NASTY WHORE" and then he proceded to tell her his wife thinks I am too much of a bottom and don't know how to fuck on top and he remembers how C got into it when he was banging her and he wants to give her a real* fucking, etc etc etc C tells him repeatedly to knock it off and he keeps bugging her. The last thing he said to her before she put him on ignore is "YOU NEED TO BE PUMPED BAD" Ok, I know this isn't how most male halves of swinging couples act. However, am I justified in wanting to beat the fuck out of this guy for completely disrespecting C and talking to her like some kind of cheap whore and more or less breaking our trust of him? (we thought he was a decent guy and could be trusted with C's personal Aol instant messenger information)

07-07-2003, 05:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
fun_pairTX Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,185 Location: Ennis, Texas Status: Couple	Nah, hit him where it hurts instead....... Log his IM's and send them to his wife. __________________ fun_pairTX

07-07-2003, 05:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
JandCMI Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 82 Location: Detroit, Michigan Status: Male half of couple Swing Lifestyle Name:jandcmi28	I just want to follow up by saying I dont advocate any violence and whatnot but this whole incident has crossed my threshold for "being nice" ... grrr __________________ How can you expect to come to our party when you don't bring a dish of your own?

07-08-2003, 12:47 AM	#9 (permalink)
fun_pairTX Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,185 Location: Ennis, Texas Status: Couple	If he is truly a wacko............. There will be no getting rid of him, ignoring him will just piss him off and make him try harder. Be proactive not passive. When you battle strike decisively and repeatedly until the results are plain. __________________ fun_pairTX

07-07-2003, 05:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
alabamafuntonig Active Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,357 Location: alabama Status: couple	HUmm ! --------- a whole year and then all he wants is sex! to the curb! and quick .... forget the revenge..life is short...enjoy the fresh smell of flowers! (oh and send him a nice letter via snail mail addressed to his wife)

07-07-2003, 06:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
bccpl77 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 235 Location: british columbia Status: couple	Hey J I think you are more than justified for wanting to beat the guy. However I don't think I would be worth it. Especially if he presses assault charges. Then you with have dealings with him for a long time to come. Hopefully ignoring him works and if you want revenge I highly agree in letting the wife know of his doings. In the long run it may be more painful than any good face pounding and it saves you the bruises. Boy I just sound evil don't I? :evil: Take care

07-07-2003, 07:00 PM	#6 (permalink)
Vjklander Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 832 Location: VA Status: Couple, Straight M, BiFem Swing Lifestyle Name:Vjklander	This guy sounds a bit off his rocker. I hope he doesn't know your address or too much personal stuff. I'd vote for just ignoring him and letting him go find someone else to harrass. You sure don't need him going around your neighborhood or work telling everyone about what you do in your spare time. It's just not a good idea to provoke a rabid dog. J

07-07-2003, 11:20 PM	#8 (permalink)
thump29 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 333 Location: okeechobee, fl Status: couple	I have to agree with everybody else, he isnt worth messing with. I would definetely ignore him and let the wife know what he said to your wife and hopefully he will leave you both alone.

07-08-2003, 09:40 AM	#11 (permalink)
wrnakedru Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 1,991 Location: Bliss Status: Female	I am sympathetic, however... As Granny used to say: "Do not get into a pissing contest with a skunk. You will not win!" This is obviously a low life, double dealing, lying, no-moraled son of a gun. Having any involvement with him what-so-ever will NOT elevate him to your level, merely lower you to his. And I do not believe that is a place you want to be. Block him from writing to you, screen your phone calls with caller i.d. or your answering machine. Gain your vicarious enjoyment by considering all the possible scenarios of vengence you could bestow upon him. Picture it in your mind, and if need be - laugh demoniacly and gleefully. He said his wife was out of town for a "few days", so this shouldn't go on for long. The timing of the contact from him is a clear indication he and his Mrs. had not discussed this prior to her family business trip. Her return will put a stop to his advances. At this juncture however, I am in disagreement with the other posters in this thread. There is no doubt his life would be impacted by his wife being informed of his duplicity. However, the reason for that would be because his wife would be very hurt. And SHE has done nothing to deserve that sort of disregard. Additionally, if it is believed he would retaliate ten-fold if phsically assaulted - imagine his desire for revenge if his marriage is impacted. Knowing you have made his life hell is not worth causing pain to her. Her role as his wife will make life difficult enough. Do not delude yourself for a moment that he would recognize it as a result of HIS actions; YOU and YOURS would be targeted in some form or fashion. It is disappointing to discover, even after a year's time, that you were mistaken about this man's character. You have said though, that the relationship was over. So bury it and go on from here. P.S. One other item: be certain that you and your Mrs. are in total agreement about how this is going to be dealt with, now and/or in the future. It loses considerable impact for one of you to draw a line in the sand if the other is not of the same accord.

07-08-2003, 10:17 AM	#13 (permalink)
sportync Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 232 Location: eastern north carolina	But you've got to admit that it would be a lot of fun to fill his brand new convertable with a load of wet cement, or if you might know any hog farmers....mmmmmm??? Seriously, this guy is an asshole with a capitol A.....forget that you ever knew him, and if you ever do by chance catch him alone with no witnessess.....well......nobody saw a thing, so it's his word against yours and "no, your honor, I really have no idea whatsoever as to why his balls were found in that alley. <EG> Sportync __________________ this ain't no dress rehearsal

07-09-2003, 09:00 AM	#14 (permalink)
bear_n_bunny Active Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 463 Location: Houston, Texas Status: Happily Married Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:bear_n_bunny	While this guy is clearly a major league asshole, and it might give you great satisfaction to open a really big can of whoopass on the boy...I would just drop it. You've blocked him on IM, don't respond to any emails or the like, just let 'em go. And that includes not sending the transcript of your wife's online conversation to his wife. If the guys knows much about you all, such as where you live, common friends/acquaintences, etc, he could cause you all sorts of problems by spreading information about you (true or not) around in places where you might not want it. If you were still in high school you might get away with strumming his gourd, but not now. Just let your silence speak and leave it at that. Bear

07-10-2003, 11:53 PM	#15 (permalink)
J & K Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 189 Location: Middle GA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:OKC_CPL	Very simple---block his e-mail addy and take him off your IM with a block list. He won't know if you are online. Blow him off as a lesson learned.

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