First time swinging... I got drugged.

[Rofliron]

Last night I went to my first swinging gathering.. I found it online and I did go alone but I told my guy where I was going and my roommate was aware I'd be at a 'party'.

I had three drinks.. I poured the first two myself and did really light pours of rum (less than an ounce) and was sober. When a bunch of girls started dancing and I sat there watching a guy came over to me and said he'd get me another drink. I felt like because it was a relatively small gathering that I was safe and let him.. he returned, I drank it.

I blacked out almost instantly after drinking that drink. I have vague snippets of the night that I can recall but mostly I remember a guy trying to have sex with me and feeling like I couldn't move and freaking out. I ran to the bathroom and began to cry and the guy that made my drink followed me and started literally yelling at me- it's still fuzzy but he said I 'drank too much' and was 'too wasted' and 'ruining the party' and have to go now. Everything else is a blur and when I got home, my roommate was alarmed and took me to the hospital.

I tested positive for rohypnol and today I feel like I've been ran over with a mack truck. This is 100 times worse than any hangover I've had and my emotions are still all messy and confused. Is it dumb that I feel ashamed and embarassed? He was going on about how wasted I was but I only had three drinks. It was my first time and I just don't get why he had to do that.. I feel angry and confused.

Honestly, my advice to people starting out is unless you REALLY know the people, drink water and keep your drink in hand at all times. I know it's cliche and said over and over again but it's for good reason. Having this happen is terrifying, so be safe.

[Rofliron]

I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. My partner is irate but we're worried about going to the police. My rape kit came back inconclusive- if someone did have sex with me they wore a condom and didn't tear me or anything. I feel like my behavior was so out of whack last night that I'm afraid to call or text the person running it to let them know because he'll assume I'm lying and was simply wasted. I hate this feeling... I know I seem flippant but I'm just really confused about what the right thing is to do right now. I feel so ashamed that my first instinct is to just pretend it never happened and forget about the party and everyone involved.

[it'sso]

If you know who set up the party, you should call that person and tell him or her what happened. WTF do you care if they think you are lying? You already have the proof your drink was spiked. If you know which prick mixed that last drink, you should tell it, also. Maybe he has a track record for doing it and, if not, he will have one now.
Free advice? Don't go to ANY parties unescorted.
MOO

[Rofliron]

Originally Posted by it'sso

If you know who set up the party, you should call that person and tell him or her what happened. WTF do you care if they think you are lying? You already have the proof your drink was spiked. If you know which prick mixed that last drink, you should tell it, also. Maybe he has a track record for doing it and, if not, he will have one now.
Free advice? Don't go to ANY parties unescorted.
MOO

I don't think I'm going to do any parties any time soon. I know you're right- I have nothing to lose to tell him.

Lesson learned the hard way, ugh.

[MsGoneWild]

I am so sorry this happened to you, but at least you're safe now.

Even going to the party unescorted, NONE of this is in any way your fault. You never consented to drugs and someone obviously tried to take advantage of you.

ABSOLUTELY tell the hosts. They might not know whats going on, and they need to know. The next woman or man he does this to might not be lucky enough to get away.

[LFM2]

I agree. If this person who set up the party has any sense at all, he'll look into it and see what more can be done. I also have to say that you should never let your drink out of your sight and never, ever should you drink something that some unknown guy has bought/brought you. If you know the bartender, I'd be telling him, too.

I'm sorry you had such a bad night. There are jerks and then there are jerks. He was the jerkiest kind. More of a scum bag prick if you will. There are people out there that you just can't trust. He's one of them. Beware of your surroundings. I've never been date raped and I'm so sorry that happened to you. Even though your rape kit came back inconclusive doesn't mean he didn't rape you. Go the cops.

[RDfnd]

So sorry that you had this experience. I'd certainly tell the hosts what transpired. Going alone was not a wise choice, but that's another issue entirely. Have you and your partner decided at this early stage in swinging playing alone is the right thing for you? It's certainly a challenging way to start for many reasons, one has unfortunately already been experienced.

[Chicup]

I'm curious as to why you would go to your first swing party alone?

I would not be surprised to find sexual predators targeting swingers more as they would be less likely to contact the police.

[Rofliron]

We've swung before, it was just always one on one with another couple or we've played with girlfriends/boyfriends (open relationship). We figured since this was a small gathering and a friend vouched that it was fine that I'd be okay.. obviously a huge mistake but one I won't make again.

[The Fuse]

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

It is NOT your fault. Repeat, NOT your fault.

Thank you for sharing your story. It will definitely make me think twice at times and be a bit more vigilant about my drinks.

Please, tell the hosts. Show them a copy of your hospital report that shows you were drugged. If you scan it, please blank out your last name and any other identifying information. If you think you know who drugged you, tell the hosts. Even if it's not the same guy who was yelling at you. Tell the hosts about whomever you suspect. They may not react well, but they need to know. You may help someone else avoid the same fate.

Who knows, maybe part of the reason people recommended this gathering to you as safe is because someone else didn't report this scumbag in the past, so everyone thought he was okay. You can break the cycle. I'd be willing to bet you weren't his first victim.

Yes, going to a party alone... your first party... maybe not such a great idea. But that doesn't mean you invited someone to drug you and possibly assault you.

I hope your recovery goes as well as can be expected.

[sexyannie]

I am sorry to hear you had such a bad night as well.

I agree that steps can be taken to minimize the risk of being drugged, like bringing an escort, only pouring your own drinks, or perhaps not drinking while at the party at all. I also know that you weren't asking for any of this, and it is not your fault that anything happened. It's important that you remember it's not your fault.

You can also add my vote to the calling the cops and telling the party organizers. You may or may not have enough direct evidence to link this crime to a specific person, but both the cops and party organizers can use your information to determine if there is a pattern and if that pattern points to anyone specific.

Hope you start feeling better.

annie

[Coupleerotic22]

You have no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed. You were attacked. Swingers party or regular bar, there are creeps who prey on people, you were just unfortunate enough to be his target that night.

You have every right to feel angry and confused, who wouldn't be.

Yes, report it to the party organizer. S/he may not believe you, but then again they might. And if they are responsible at all they will look into it.

I would also report it to the police. There is not likely much they can do, but at least you will have a report on file in case this creep is ever caught, your report could assist in his prosecution.

Don't worry about the police having an poor opinion of you. I know dozens of cops, they have seen just about everything. Many of them are swingers as well and would love nothing more than to bag a creep like this.

Please, always have an escort to parties, swinger or vanilla, or at the very least go with a group of girls, an d stay together. Predators look for easy targets and a female alone is exactly what they are after.

[Trace Ekies]

I fail to understand your hesitance to tell the party organizers and the person or people who vouched for the party.

They may already know that Rohyponol was present at their party but don't know that it was used without someone's consent and will deal with the prick themselves.

If they're okay with drugs and uses such as these you need to find new friends.

And remember this...that guy needs his ass kicked in the old fashioned way...so that everytime he thinks of Rohypnol he thinks of the black eyes and sore ribs he had for two weeks...maybe he'll keep the Rohypnol use confined to himself and others who give consent first.

Trace

[sahajacpl]

Report the sexual abuse to the hosts as well as to the police. Let the law take its course and put the creep in jail.

[sweet_tna]

YOU did nothing wrong! You went to a party recommended by a trusted friend, made sure others knew where you were, you mixed your own drinks and kept the alcohol to a minimum. The person who drugged you is the one in the wrong, and he deserves to be punished. You need to go straight to the police with that medical report from the hospital, and you need to inform the party organizers, too. They need to know this is happening at their parties.

Thank you for posting your story, it's a good reminder for all of us to be more diligent. And I hope nothing like this ever happens to you again.