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Is it just us or is this that difficult???

We've had a fantasy of having another man join us for a MFM for years. We're VERY happily married, considered attractive by most and very secure with each other.

We knew this would eventually just happen so we never arranged anything. We recently took a vacation and met a man one evening. He came on very strong with my wife all night long flirting. When my wife and I went back to the hotel room for the evening she asked about possibly going back down and asking him to join us. To make a long story short....so was he. He was hung like a mouse, couldn't get it up, she said he was just terrible.

So a few months later we thought we'd give it another try and chatted for quite a while on AFF with another man and finally met with him for lunch. He seemied like a great guy so we scheduled a get together that weekend for an evening at a hotel. This guy lied about his age, name, cock size and sexual abilitiies. My wife is very sexy and did just about everything possible to get this guy excited but he was anothe complete dud......and she's fantastic in bed. He couldn't keep it up and had a little cock as well.

What are we doing wrong? We're about to give up! We're in our late 40's, maybe we need to go for a younger guy?

We'd really like to do this but can't handle more disappointment. Do we ask for referrences?

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It happens. You have been a member of these forums for years and I am sure you have seen this same story no less then 100 times.

 

It is a numbers game pretty much.

 

Many on line are fake or give false information. Guys on line have a different way of measuring dicks them guys in person. They are always longer and everyone weighs less on line. :rollseye:

 

We have found the best way is to go where the swingers are, to a club. You see what your getting. Does not mean they may not have performance problems but at least you have other choices if they do.

 

No use giving up. Just find better ways of getting what your looking for. The Internet is to much of a fantasy land for us to waste our time on it. Others seem to have good luck at times on the Internet but not many/most.

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We are planning on another trip to Vegas in the fall and we plan on going to the Rooster again. Last time we did go but only stayed for a few minutes, wife felt a little uncomfortable so we left before anyone was upstairs.

I guess we just think of this as more of an intimate thing and are not sure about the club thing, definately not locally. People around where we live all talk about each other and we know one person that went to a local get-together and mentioned names of other people there......we don't need that. But Vegas is a great place, we love it and even got married there.

We had our first experience in the Bahamas. Maybe we can get this right just once. We've even talked about meeting a couple but it's difficult enough to find just one person who fits us to think about actually trying to find a couple that we both have chemistry with each.

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Remember most single guys are single for a reason. While single men are a dime a dozen, single men that are really 'lifestyle' are another matter.

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very good point. So are you saying we might be better off seeking a couple in the lifestyle and asking to (borrow) the husband? I know my wife would never go for that.

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Not at all, I'm just saying finding the 'right' single male can be hard too.

 

The 'borrowed' man thing can happen but its not common either, most of the time its more borrowed cheater.

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very good point. So are you saying we might be better off seeking a couple in the lifestyle and asking to (borrow) the husband? I know my wife would never go for that.

 

My wife and I have had several MFMs. None have been as dud as you described. One was so so, but not terrible. One in particular was very, very, very good.

 

I don't agree with the idea that single men are single for a reason that has to be related to the lifestyle. Not all single men are dickless, incapable in bed, etc. Some men are single by choice, some because their long term relationship skills are poor, some because they do not make good marriage material. These things don't preclude them being fantastic sex partners, as my wife found out in a very, very good way.

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Mr. Fuse and I would be psyched if a couple we liked wanted to borrow him. It's happened a couple of times and I would love for it to happen again.

 

Why would your wife object to borrowing someone's husband, assuming his wife was okay with it? That way you know you're getting someone who has the social skills to be married, but won't be clingy, also because he's married. Or at least less likely to be clingy.

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My wife and I have had several MFMs. None have been as dud as you described. One was so so, but not terrible. One in particular was very, very, very good.

 

I don't agree with the idea that single men are single for a reason that has to be related to the lifestyle. Not all single men are dickless, incapable in bed, etc. Some men are single by choice, some because their long term relationship skills are poor, some because they do not make good marriage material. These things don't preclude them being fantastic sex partners, as my wife found out in a very, very good way.

 

Which would be part of single for a reason :lol:

 

Swinging brings many desperate males hoping to get laid, who figure its a place they can score since they can't manage anywhere else.

 

As a side note, I'd have to wonder if the sexual skills of someone who doesn't have sex very often would be all that great.

 

I'm not saying they are all limp dicked or the like, simply that their flaws which make them unmarriable can spill over into swinging.

 

Again this isn't to say ALL single males, but a quick look at the sites and reading these boards hasn't shown me anything thats going to change my opinion of said average.

 

Mr. Fuse and I would be psyched if a couple we liked wanted to borrow him. It's happened a couple of times and I would love for it to happen again.

 

I've been borrowed quite a bit, but those were from swingers we knew as a couple, not just a 'hey mind if we borrow your husband, no you can't come'.

 

BTW would you be psyched if a couple wanted to borrow you? Say, in Chicago? :D

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Dickless? That's a tad less than most guys have even if they fail to be what is alleged to be "average". I find it somewhat suspect that the OP's could run into this problem the only two times they have been "lucky" enough to get some guy's interest.

Perhaps they need to examine their own approach to the subject?

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BTW would you be psyched if a couple wanted to borrow you? Say, in Chicago? :D

I wish. Our problem is that, like most couples, I get a lot more offers than he does. He is probably more attractive than I am, but we all know that's not what counts. I would like to take a few of those offers but until and unless the ratio is a lot closer to even, I won't get to do it.

 

For the OP, I'm going to echo what someone else said. Go to swinger's clubs and parties that allow single males, or even meet couples and see if there are any who will let you borrow their male half. Not only do you eliminate a lot of up-front work that way, you can ask for references and they might be sitting at the next table. That way you can find out if past partners have been happy.

 

If there are more couples out there like me and Mr. Fuse, they will be pleasantly surprised. I would be psyched to take pictures, get water, just sit and watch, or go my own way.

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It's probably not you guys. We had this happen twice out of the 8 guys she's been with. One was on 'roids, the other had knee problems. There could be all sorts of reasons. Too much booze because he's nervous; tired, etc. Maybe you intimidate them; who knows. LOL. We've found that really spending time getting to know them before sex works. We always havea non-sex first "date". If they're real dudes; they'll respect that. If they don't, they're gone. Easy as that....no matter what they look like. Single males can be replaced very easily. Hope it helps

 

 

 

 

Is it just us or is this that difficult???

We've had a fantasy of having another man join us for a MFM for years. We're VERY happily married, considered attractive by most and very secure with each other.

We knew this would eventually just happen so we never arranged anything. We recently took a vacation and met a man one evening. He came on very strong with my wife all night long flirting. When my wife and I went back to the hotel room for the evening she asked about possibly going back down and asking him to join us. To make a long story short....so was he. He was hung like a mouse, couldn't get it up, she said he was just terrible.

So a few months later we thought we'd give it another try and chatted for quite a while on AFF with another man and finally met with him for lunch. He seemied like a great guy so we scheduled a get together that weekend for an evening at a hotel. This guy lied about his age, name, cock size and sexual abilitiies. My wife is very sexy and did just about everything possible to get this guy excited but he was anothe complete dud......and she's fantastic in bed. He couldn't keep it up and had a little cock as well.

What are we doing wrong? We're about to give up! We're in our late 40's, maybe we need to go for a younger guy?

We'd really like to do this but can't handle more disappointment. Do we ask for referrences?

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I think it is inappropriate to categorize single males just because they are single or to totally give up on singles. Not all are bad. I (the male half) was a fairly in demand as a single, apparently because I was able to give what the couples desired. And just because I was single didn't make me an incompetent, social inept bafoon.

MrsPlay and I actually met on a swingers website while we were both single. We both had gotten out of rough marriages, and at the time weren't looking for anything serious. Well, things went well, and now we hope we will be together the rest of our lives.

And the issues you are experiencing aren't just limited to single guys. We had several experiences with couples which were exactly like what you had with the singles.

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This is an interesting experience for me because it's probably going to be the first type of experience that my wife and I have, that being MFM.

 

I've done some searching around at ads and whatnot to see how the market is for finding a guy, and either everyone who advertises is well above average in all categories or it's a liars paradise. Obviously the latter is most likely..

 

And you know what, when we made up our own ads we decided to hell with it and bucked the trend. We wanted to make sure that when someone saw us in RL they would be happily suprised that we are as good or better than written instead of worse. I know it probably wont help us in scoring more invites, but we are busy people and I'd rather not waste a ton of time with invites based on exaggeration.

 

 

 

Back to original topic, I would just chalk it up to numbers. I know just from searching that finding a prospective 3rd (or couple) is a game of numbers. Sucks, but unless you have amazing luck, you likely will find some duds along the way.

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My first and only mfm so far was a dud... performance issues which can happen... but hey... live up to the oral you said you were so great at... he never even found my clit. after a while i rolled over and looked at Pete and mouthed...'get him out of here...'

o well.....................................

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MFM is our favorite and we tend to find them on the swinger sites or at the club. If on the sites, we chat extensively so there is some level of familiarity and some expectations have been discussed. The chats can reveal a great deal of information, like it he is bi, is wanting to be serviced, married and cheating. Only a couple of times have we discovered someone was untruthful about size or age. Pictures can be deceiving :(

 

We rarely meet with a single guy who is inexperienced in threesomes. There's a certain level of respect and appreciation that the 3rd needs to exhibit in order for the encounter to be successful. I also make it clear that while nobody will go away unsatisfied, that mfm is all about the woman and her experience.

 

We've had our share of bad mfm's but as we gain experience, we know some of the warning signs to look for. The worst experiences we have had were more or less created by us failing to do our due diligence in getting to know the guy a bit. These were spur of the moment meets when we suddenly discovered we had the house to ourselves, LOL. :)

 

Keep trying, maybe evaluate how you are finding the guys. Tell them you've had some bad experiences and ask a lot of questions. Maybe look at their certifications on the swinger sites or ask around for some "references". Good luck!!!

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I agree with Angel, it is difficult sometimes to find the right guy, it is probaly best to have a foursome and one of the ldies sits out and watches so you can get used to it. Then if you want a single guy, search carefully

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      It was almost noon, and I had to run to get home on time. We promised each other we would get together soon, all four of us. And that we did. They joined our group and played once or twice a month at our parties. We also traveled and shared very often for 4 - 5 years. Then, they moved to New Mexico for Darrell’s work.
    • By dccc4fun
      So we are new to swinging for the most part. We've had some experiences in private with other males and females.
       
      We are very interested in going to a swingers club but also nervous at the same time. My husband is worried about boundaries being respected and possibly pushy men. We are a secure couple so that's not the issue, we just don't want to deal with that type of behavior.
       
      Is this a problem we might run into?
    • By SwingersBoard
      My story is about my ex-wife and myself and one of the adventures including my best friend. She was a quiet woman, but the quiet ones can be very wild. We had our first threesome shortly after our first child was born.
       
      We had been partying and all of us were feeling pretty good. Christen and I had a few encounters with my friend Jeff. On this particular night, she came up to me and kissed me while I was looking in the fridge. Some of our guests were laughing and joking in the other room. I gave her that glance that she knew I was asking if she wanted to have a smaller, more private party. She shook her head yes, sucked my tongue into her mouth, and went back into the other room. The party started winding down another hour or so later, and as the last of the guest were leaving my wife went upstairs. Just Jeff and I remained downstairs. I asked if he was ready for another party and he was. He always was with her. She isn't overly pretty or have that model body, but she could certainly fuck good. We went upstairs and found her in the bedroom.
       
      We both went over, me stripping off my clothes while Jeff just climbed onto the bed. My wife then rolled towards him and they started kissing. I just sat on the edge of the bed watching them, stroking my dick. I was so hard. I watched her unzip his pants and pull them down with his help. Once free of his pants the shirt came off. He laid on his side and she went down and took his cock into her mouth. She sucked the head nice and slow, running her tongue all over it. I heard him moan and then watched as he reached into her panties he started rubbing her clit. My cock was hard than granite at this point. I was stroking myself pretty good by this point, but was waiting for more action before I joined in. I saw her wrap her hand around his cock and pump it while she sucked him in over and over again. I reached over and pulled her panties down her legs and off. She wasn't wearing a bra so when I helped her out of her shirt, her breasts were free for the taking.
       
      They moved into the center of the bed, with him on his back. She again sucked his cock a few more times and then started to position herself above him. Straddling his body she reached down and grabbed his hard cock and aimed it at her pussy. I moved around the bed and watched as she lowered herself onto his pole. Slowly the head disappeared and inch by inch she took him until he was in balls deep. She ground on him for a few minutes, slowly gaining speed. My cock was ready to burst. I almost lose my mind when I see her fucking him on top. She really loves to be in control too. He was sucking her breasts and she was moaning really loud. She knows that I love to do her doggy style, but I thought that she had too much on her mind to stop in the middle of this and let me take her.
       
      To my surprise, she pulled herself off and started sucking him again between his spread legs. She rarely will suck any dick after she has ridden it for a while since she doesn't like the taste of her pussy, but she was sucking again with a passion. Her ass was sticking high in the air, with her back arched. I saw this as my invitation, and crawled on my knees up behind her, he with one stroke I was in the wettest, loosest pussy I have been in. I love the feel of her pussy after someone else has been in it for a while. I usually cum within a few minutes, but I guess my cock was extra hard from watching for so long. Also, I hadn't expected her to ride him so quickly which added to me being turned on so much. I was fucking her with long, hard, deep strokes. Fucking with a power that only sharing her with another man can give me. After a mind blowing 15 minutes, she slammed back at me real hard and I started cumming inside of her. I have to keep pumping until my orgasm is finished.
       
      I rolled over and she rolled off of him and in between us on the bed. We all fell asleep, but I was awaken to the bed moving. She was again riding his cock, but she was lying down flat on him. I started to jerk off at the sight of what I was witnessing. I heard her start to moan and soon she was cumming. She rode him a few more minutes until he too had finished letting loose another load of sperm in my wife. I came shortly afterwards all over my stomach. When we awoke in the morning, everyone had those morning after thoughts of what we had done. I left to take a shower and when I came back I noticed she was again blowing him through the crack in the door. I just watched as she sucked him for 20 minutes or so. Eventually, he groaned and filled her mouth with cum. She got off the bed heading to the bathroom I guess to spit the load in the sink. But as she went by she said I darling, kissed me and continued on her way. I couldn't believe she actually swallowed his load. Something she never had done with me.
       
      The next night I had to work and the three of us got it on just an hour before I was leaving. When I left I had cum and showered quickly. Leaving Jeff and my wife to fuck the rest of the night away. The next morning when he came to work we passed each other smiling in the hallway. I went home that morning to a very tired wife. She told me she loved getting fucked by other men.
       
      We divorced about six years later, but I have many fond memories of her sucking and fucking other men. I used to let her go out to get fucked by someone she had met in a bar. But, that is another story. I wish my current fiance would let another man fuck her, but she so far, isn't into it and I'm not pushing. These stories fill my need to have MFM threesomes. There is nothing like watching your woman with another man.
    • By swingcouple69
      OK...we seem to be having a problem that I never thought would be a problem. A little history...before we started swinging, I had never had sex with any man other than Hubby.
       
      Well, it seems that my Hubby is ummm...gifted with the size of his package. I of course didn't know this because I had nothing to compare it to. My friends even accused me of lying about his "measurements" when we'd talk like women do about sex and their men.
       
      So now the problem is that we chat and make great friends which is wonderful. But, then the male half (it is usually the male half) asks for his "measurements." I think it becomes an insecurity issue but I thought that swingers are secure in their relationships? The female halves that do ask...some are very interested...but others are like "NO WAY". They all say how attractive and sexy Hubby is but apparently his size intimidates them.
       
      I won't lie and neither will he because let's face it the couples or females are going to notice his size eventually and who wants to be with dishonest people? How the heck was I supposed to know that 5 inches is normal. Hubby exceeds that by more than an inch or two...lol.
       
      Help?
       
      Thanks!
    • By CandT33
      The very 1st time...
      Was it exciting, nerve racking, defeating?
       
      What was the conversation after the fact, did it effect you two negatively?
      Also did you discuss it before it happened?
       
      We are new and I am just unsure how it will effect me and/or her.
      She has been with 3 other guys since we started about 3/4 months ago.
      I have not had to deal with the above question yet, so looking for some insight from others.
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