A few bad experiences in a row...

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by NYFunCpl

Just want to post an update! We have had 2 GREAT experiences since the few not so good ones..and are VERY pleased !! We find it all so exciting. They both prefer the "friends with benefits" aspect of the LS...which is a plus. One couple is newer then we are but we are having a ton of fun w/ it. The other is more experienced and will likely see them less...

It seems we finally found what works, and they are both full swap couples, which was amazing to say the least. Hubby and i had a few minor communication issues that we worked through, and needless, we have 2nd dates scheduled.

SO FUN- this is what its apparently all about

Can you give us any specifics on what you did differently between the bad and good experiences? Why do you think you had good ones more recently? Any lessons learned?

[GeorgeofJungle]

I would have to echo the idea about alcohol.

I have sort of a standing rule with "Ursula" that I don't make love when she's drunk. Don't get me wrong. If she's been out for the night, had a couple, comes home all frisky with the taste of wine on her lips...I'm all over her.

But, if she gets a ride home, stumbles in the front door and collapses into bed...we exchange "I love you"s, kiss good night and curl up for the night. Oh, sometimes she thinks shes in the mood...but I've never had a good experience with her drunk...so now I just put the kibash to it. When she's drunk, she tastes like beer and moves like a jello shot

I mean...when she's sober or had a couple, she tastes like sugar and moves like a cat...it's like WOW!...so anything else just pales in comparison.

We recently met a couple out. When they showed up I was attracted to the wife's personality. She was a ball of fire, all exited to meet us, making great conversation. She didn't have any particular physical traits that attracted me; but what a great person.

Well...a drink or two later, she's talking a little louder, being less discrete about it. (We were in a vanilla setting) I don't think she let the cat out of the bag; but the other three of us were definitely getting worried. We agreed to go back to their place to hang out for a while. Which we did; but we just talked some more and agreed to maybe meet again sometime.

I know that some people say that sex is like pizza...it's never bad, just some better than others...well, I'd like to continue that thought...to me, sex with a drunk woman (which I've only experienced with my wife) turned out to be bad pizza...so I don't go for that style anymore :-) I look for the better pizza.

[ALilOEverything]

Originally Posted by NYFunCpl

Needless to say- WTF are we doing wrong here? Too much alcohol? Poor choice in couples? Moving too fast? Poor communication between hubby and

I think you did find a lot of your answers right here. Sometimes there can just be a few bad experiences in a row but I think moving too fast could be the biggest factor if you're not real experienced. If you rush you're more inclinded to drink too much, from drinking you make bad choices in couples and not communicate as effectively.

Take time to slow down and really communicate. If you have to drink more than one or two to play then the situation isn't right. Don't ignore red flags. After a time and more experience you'll know more about what couples that are more compatible and you won't feel that need to drink so much.

I'm glad you had a good experience recently, it's important if things haven't gone the way you want. One idea would be to get to know one couple at a time. That way mixed emotions from one isn't contributing to mixed emotions of the other couple. That takes me back to my intial point, don't rush it and take it slow.