A hookup gone wrong

[Bxlvrs1924]

J (female) and I (W, the male half) have been reading some of the bad experiences that have been had by folks here and they're all cringeworthy. Well we wanted to share one of ours.

When we were on AFF, we found a single female (Y) that we liked & started communicating with her. We had made it very clear that we were looking for a friend for solely MFF encounters, and she had stated that was cool with her. We met up for dinner one night and that went well, so we had another dinner set up. At the second dinner, she mentioned that she wanted to do a strip club and adult store night. We agreed on it and had an idea as to where we wanted to go and set it up for the next weekend.

At sometime during the middle of the week, she called and mentioned that her male friend (M) wanted to go along and that he knew of an adult store that was close to him. M was a guy she was kind of seeing and who knew about her activities. We were a little hesitant but decided it wasn't a deal breaker. We pick her up that Friday night and then proceed to pick up M (taking the longest route possible), only to arrive and find out that he was going to be driving the 4 of us to the adult store. It annoyed us a bit, but we climb into his car and go off to the adult store.

Well as we're going, I can see that we're getting further away from where he lives. J and I look at each other like "what's this". We finally get there (after sitting through about 15 minutes of traffic) and I'm like "we're nowhere close to his house". We try to make the best of it. We're cordial and all, although we split into separate couples while in the store. We pile back into the car after about 30 minutes, M having bought Y a new toy. On the ride back, M mentions how we should take Y's new toy out for a spin. Once again, J and I look at each other, this time mouthing "WTF?". We politely decline, even as M & Y are being a little insistent. We politely say our goodbyes and get back into our car. The ride home was interesting to say the least. J felt like we got played, that the two meetings we had with Y were more about finding playmates for them instead of just her. We had felt pretty good about Y and were hoping to set up playtime after the adult outing.

J did mention to Y, the next day, that the situation had been very uncomfortable as we had made it very clear what type of situation we were looking for, and she (Y) had been in agreement. Y apologized and stated that she had told M to take it easy and to back off a bit. The experience left us with a bad feeling, and so we decide to listen to the little voice that tells you to walk away. We never went out with her again and pretty shortly after cut all communication.

[bbarnsworth]

Sounds very much like you made the right call.

[sjsl]

We have begun talking to many single women from AFF only to find out they have a husband or boyfriend that would like to be involved. Fortunately we never went as far as meeting before we found out, you do feel like you have been lied to though. We have realized that many of these couples have an open marriage and she takes one for the team so he can get laid. Our first experience was with a couple like that but we were too new to pick up on the warning signs.

[Edison Carter]

Susan here-- Whenever things are not 'as advertised' we bail. A beginning is a delicate time and if they change the agreed upon dynamics, it's simply the shape of things to come. We simply do not need the drama and have avoided any.

[curiousagain]

Originally Posted by Edison Carter

Whenever things are not 'as advertised' we bail.

That is some sound wisdom there. That should be in a swinger how to list for new swingers.

[realcplub2]

Ok, first off welcome to the site, and we would love to hear your feedback.

Next, given the fact that you are where you are, why did it take so long to get to the adult store, christ, last time I knew you couldnt go more thna a few miles without seeing one up there. Which direction did they head, Rockland County? Jersey?

Knowing how many there are up there, just cause this guy "knew of one" wouldnt have been a big selling point. that was the frist red flag.. Taking ms car, rather than your own, is the next.. You are throwing a great deal of trust into someone you dont know.. Think of all the horror stories that are on the evening news EVERYNIGHT where you live.. the final thing, after having allowed the two of them to manipulate you both was the insistance of trying out the new toys.. meaning include M..

People having agendas you are gonna run up against here just as you do in every other part of your life. Unfortunately, some people are so hot for the idea of having a MFF, that they ALLOW themselves to be put in some unusual or uncomfortable positions to "save" the chances.

How far you are willing to go with it, to compromise, is up to you both. But make sure you both are on the same page before agreeing to changes..

I am kind of curious about the three dates thing before moving forward.. Can I ask, which side that was coming from?

[DigginIt]

Wow, we would have been very pissed to say the least. Nothing against AFF but that site scares me. I go there and I just get creepy feelings from the site. I'm sure there are people here that probably have met good people from that site or are good people using that site but it seems too hardcore for us.

Make sure you read the good stories to lift your spirits and don't give up. You will find what you are looking for.

[Bxlvrs1924]

This is J. :-)

Horror stories on the evening news “EVERYNIGHT” where we live? I wish I knew what these horror stories are and what newscasts I should watch to see these stories because they aren't being shown on the ones I watch. LOL

As for why it took so long to get to the adult store. Keep in mind that New York City is made of 5 boroughs - it is not just Manhattan. If you are in Manhattan, yes there are numerous adult shops. In the outer boroughs, they are not that common. For example in the Bronx there are only 2. That evening we were in Queens.

There is so much more I can write but then this would easily turn into an essay. LOL Thank you for allowing us to share our experience.

[LFM2]

I don't have anything to add except we think you did the right thing, too. We bolt when things don't feel right or as Susan said... "not as advertised".