"He just didn't know what to do"

[vanillaknot]

Last weekend, we went to our local club. No plans of expectations, really, but it was the club's anniversary and we've been there since The Dawn Of Time, so we went.

Along the way, we got to chatting with a very pleasant couple. The lady (S) and I took an interest in each other, the other gent (F) seemed a bit stand-off-ish, but that was OK because MrsVK said she didn't really want to play that evening. But she likes to be nearby and able to watch when I'm busy, and S was very accommodating of that, offering a similar thought about F. At some point we stepped up from the table and headed off in search of an available room, but F didn't come along. MrsVK went back to see if he'd like to be nearby, but he declined again. OK, fair enough -- but then on her way back to the room where S and I were beginning to get more than just comfy, she bumped into a younger (27?) fellow who had been spending time with a different friend of ours who had had to leave early. So MrsVK brought him along for the fun...and along the way she decided she was interested in playing a bit as well after all. All fine and dandy and everyone seemed to be in a good place.

One must understand at this point that MrsVK is exraordinarily busty. This young fellow had gotten his eyes attached a little too well to MrsVK's chest, we think, and when they started to get down to business as well (S and I being already at it), one of the first things he wanted to do was titfucking. MrsVK is usually very accommodating, and so they started...and then abruptly he finished, in nearly no time at all.

He seemed somewhat embarrassed by this. I guess MrsVK's bust was a bit too good of a sounding board for some of his fantasies because the barest bit of titfucking took him over the edge.

But that's OK, he's young, they cleaned up a bit and started to do some other things. On the one hand, yes, he got back up again in short order, got a condom on...but on the other hand, as MrsVK said much later, and as I quote in the title, he just didn't know what to do. Literally, other than the level-zero understanding of "penis + vagina," the kid was vastly ignorant about action, timing, pace, thrust...anything.

She tried to keep playing with him for some time. Oddly, he was trying at times to masturbate when she was trying to blow him. At a certain point, S and I seemed to have kinda finished and she felt the need to get back out to the public area where F was, so she dressed and left, and I joined in with MrsVK and the kid, which did her a lot of good but did nothing for what he could contribute to the situation overall.

She finally got to a point where I could tell she was beginning to make excuses about the need to go as well, and we got dressed and stepped out, leaving him to get himself put back together on his own. She felt bad about this, but as she told me, it became one of the most uncomfortable swinging scenes she's had.

I don't know if I'm looking for advice, but I guess I'd be curious as to whether others have run into situations where a functioning, seemingly-adult man actually did not know how to fuck.

[CXXC]

Mrs. CXXC has been there before! A young "Adonis" once left her so unsatisfied, she came to me begging for release. The guy could not buy a clue. Not even her verbal instructions, "Fuck me harder", "Grab my ass!" helped him. This guy was in his own little world of ineptitude!
It happens. Thankfully, not often! Chalk it down as one for the books and know that more men out there know what to do. At least we can follow instructions! LOL

[socolais]

I think that's an interesting observation and a difficult subject to discuss at the time it's happening and even later. It's regrettable that MrsVK was uncomfortable and didn't have a good time with the encounter but perhaps she can find consolation knowing he found her overwhelmingly sexy. I think you gave the kid an opportunity to learn something about himself and he's probably thankful for the encounter even though he knows he failed to give the kind of pleasure he was getting. I suspect he was sexually overwhelmed and didn't know how to recover. I think you handled it well by not making a big deal of the situation.

We had been monogamous about 30 years when we started to swing. Some of my early playmates must have had similar thoughts about my sexual performance. I was awkward when the situation or pace of activities was significantly different from my norm. It took a while for me to just relax and enjoy the sexual interaction and to abandon my need to "perform". Thirty years of exclusivity can teach folks some bad habits.

[xxxboxy]

The guy was in his late 20's and didn't know what he was doing?? Poor bastard....he should just move along and stay with Rosie...

[SW_PA_Couple]

At twenty-seven, I was at about the same state of innocence as this "fellow". I don't think a swingers' club would have been my best way of advancing my education.

This might be an example of how age and its attending experience compensate at least some its of disadvantages.

~Michael

[bbarnsworth]

When I was 19, I was fortunate enough to have a girlfriend who understood I was inexperienced, didn't mind, and was willing to spend time to educate me. It was like going to school in some ways (what a teacher!). There's lessons from that time in my life I still remember now, and many more I don't consciously remember but I'm sure I've integrated. A much later girlfriend once remarked in regards to the earlier girlfriend, "If I ever meet her, I'm going to thank her!"

We all have to learn somewhere, and if we don't we learn not at all. Sex isn't push-pull-repeat. That can get the job done for procreation, but as a fun activity it sucks. Communicating with a partner is important.

[sahajacpl]

Originally Posted by xxxboxy

The guy was in his late 20's and didn't know what he was doing??

At age of 27, that is rather unusual. I was in my early 20s when I started dating and fucking gals (my dates). Can't say I was an expert at that time. On my first attempt at penetrating the gal's pussy with my erect dick, I came all too quick in her pussy before she had an orgasm. I have to thank one married gal I fucked later who showed me the ropes.

There are books and videos about how to fuck a woman, with all the details spelled out. I would't be so harsh on this guy. He is a novice and will improve with time. However, club atmosphere may not be the most conducive to his sex education.