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Stood up.

This is a discussion on Stood up. within the Bad Experiences forums, part of the Swinging Experiences category; Mrs phoenix and i have been talking to a single girl for about 3 months now, and set up a ...

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Old 06-02-2008, 11:25 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Stood up.

Mrs phoenix and i have been talking to a single girl for about 3 months now, and set up a date to meet her, very adamant that all systems go meant that we'd retire to the bedroom (the singles idea), or if anyone felt apprehensive, it would end at drinks. no pressure, all good fun.

7pm rolls around, we get comfortable in our booth. 8pm rolls around, no show, no text, no call to say "sorry". we had confirmed the plans at midday that day with her...

and then to add insult to injury, she continued to text Mr phoenix trying to pick him up "on his own"...
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Old 06-02-2008, 11:36 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

As I always say,"If it doesn't make sense, you're missing a key piece of information." Best to avoid her and move on.
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Old 06-03-2008, 12:45 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

That is why we NEVER meet up with anyone.

When contacted on line about meeting we tell them that we are at the club a few nights each week. We let them know what nights. If they show up, great, if not we have 100's of others to meet and party with.

Over the years we have found there are to many Internet dreamers. This is a great fantasy for many people on line but once it starts to get real they get cold feet. It is not worth out time to sit in a bar or diner for hours waiting on the Internet ghosts.
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Old 06-03-2008, 08:41 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

I agree with Lee here. Although if you are hunting unicorns, I'm not sure a club is the best place to hunt. Unicorns are hard to catch so expect lots of time hunting without ever catching one.

If you don't like the hunt, find a couple and do g/g then let the guys join in after with their own partners. Or as some have done, buy one. I wouldn't do that unless I was where it was legal but hey, YMMV.
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Old 06-03-2008, 09:16 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

The same thing occurs with couples. I also agree with Lee here. Internet meetings have held, at least for us, the most wasted time and energy. It wasn't long before we designed a standard response to those inquiries - we prefer to meet at meet n greets or at club events, and if you'd like to meet us, we'd be happy to let you know when and where we'll be.
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Old 06-03-2008, 10:39 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

We're not into hunting unicorns. we've had a couple of FFM experiences, and quite frankly, this was more a case of it was offered than we were hunting.

we're not going to contact her again, that's for sure.
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Old 06-03-2008, 12:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ktimephoenix View Post
We're not into hunting unicorns. we've had a couple of FFM experiences, and quite frankly, this was more a case of it was offered than we were hunting.

we're not going to contact her again, that's for sure.
So she offered and then stood you up?

hmmmm....those tend to make me even more suspicious.
I think it's good that you don't contact her OR respond to her efforts if she tries to contact you.

I would swear one bifem on a board I am at, is a cop trying to get people to offer her money. There is just something "off" about her and no, she won't go to any clubs.
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:31 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

As others have said, this is why we don't meet one on one for the first time with a new couple/single female. We'll do group dinners, we'll do socials, we'll do the club.... if after we meet them we decide we want to get to know them better, we'll do dinner/drinks/whatever with just them.

Actually, there's another reason we don't. Even if they show up half the time you end up wishing they hadn't. In which case, I'd have had more fun with just my Pet. I feel less like I wasted a night if they don't show up.
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

Since we don't have clubs around here, meeting up is the only way to meet anyone here. Well, the same thing happened with our female we were supposed to meet up with. We'd talked with her for about two weeks. Had made up solid plans to meet at XYZ place and XYZ time. We sat there for an hour waiting for her. She was a no show.

I think it bummed Mr. LFM way more than it did me. I mean I want him to have fun with another woman, but if she's that shallow or whatever it might have been she didn't show up, she just isn't worth it. She never phoned to say she couldn't make it, didn't text, didn't lift a finger to say something else had come up.

This is one of the reasons we are SOOOOO jealous of you guys that live near clubs. We wouldn't have to go through that bull.
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:40 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

Jim & I have a 'rule'. We 'meet' a couple/single online, check out their profile, if their is interest, we then meet them in person, as soon as possible. We don't like to chat/email days/weeks on end, as we feel doing that, you still don't really know who it is. When chatting or emailing, the other person has a chance to rethink their answers. When in person, you can 'read' them as they either think about it or are telling you.

Also, alot of times their are fakes, this gets rid of them quickly.
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Old 06-03-2008, 02:03 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

I can't help but wonder if they don't just get cold feet sometimes. We all get nervous but at least as couples we have someone to lean on to absorb some of our nervousness and we can talk to each other and support each other. The single (female or male) only has themselves. If they get nervous they have no one to talk them out of their nerves.
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Old 06-03-2008, 08:11 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tribbles View Post
So she offered and then stood you up?

hmmmm....those tend to make me even more suspicious.
I think it's good that you don't contact her OR respond to her efforts if she tries to contact you.

I would swear one bifem on a board I am at, is a cop trying to get people to offer her money. There is just something "off" about her and no, she won't go to any clubs.
Yep, she was the one keen for a meet, then stood us up. she didn't even text/call to say she couldn't make it... yet had enough phone credit to try to textflirt Mr P. the next day...

Mr P. had a feeling she was attention seeking/ego stroking (but then again, she wasn't his "type")
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Old 06-03-2008, 11:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

Ed here-- Ever consider, in these situations, to everyone agreeing to having a confirming cell phone call an hour or less before the 'meet' ? This way if it all goes to hell, at least you're not waiting around and you can go to Plan B. Plan B being a nicer restaurant, a dance club, hotel suite for just the two of you, a movie, a theatrical play, etc. With modern cell phones you can improvise a great evening in short order. We have

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
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Old 06-03-2008, 11:39 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Edison Carter View Post
Ed here-- Ever consider, in these situations, to everyone agreeing to having a confirming cell phone call an hour or less before the 'meet' ? This way if it all goes to hell, at least you're not waiting around and you can go to Plan B. Plan B being a nicer restaurant, a dance club, hotel suite for just the two of you, a movie, a theatrical play, etc. With modern cell phones you can improvise a great evening in short order. We have

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
we did confirm with her a few hours before the meet...
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Old 06-04-2008, 01:03 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Stood up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ktimephoenix View Post
we did confirm with her a few hours before the meet...
I noticed ya'll used texting as a way of talking to "her". Did ya'll ever get a chance to actually talk to her or something to confirm that it was actually a unicorn?

It sounds like someone playing games or may have some un-yet seen drama.
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