Not very high-flying experience at Trapeze!

[incommunicado]

O.K., I'm not sure if this is the place to put this, but I knew it would be seen, and that Julie could move it if necessary. Back in January, over MLK B'Day weekend, we visited my folks in Miami and decided to go to a club, Trapeze. We had been out of Swinging for quite some time (never really in it that long), but wanted a little excitement and figured we would go "see and be seen". We weren't planning to play with others, but, if the opportunity presented itself properly, sure, maybe, why not?

We got to the club and it was pretty well layed out. Nice bar, nice dance floor (kinda sucky music, but we're dance instructors, we're hard to please) and a really nice buffet. The requisite porn was showing on two TVs and the skinny twenty-something girls were on the floor vogue-ing for one another.

Most of the crowd was the "not Ken and Barbie" set and were MUCH older than us (we're late 30's to early 40's, most were 50's and up). Now, I am not ranking on the "not Ken and Barbie" folks (we're kinda in that range) or the near-baby boomers. It's simply that we were going to see and be seen and wanted to be surrounded by the young 20-30 something Miami hard bodies that Trapeze is supposedly famous for attracting (all the pics on their site are of said people). Most of the even borderline attractive (to us, I know, please don't hate) women, were partnered with big, bald, bearded, biker looking dudes, which are simply not our taste.

Well, we weren't exactly feeling the love, but we thought we'd give the play room a try, if only to see it and play together. As we cautiously walked back there, a very very large (overweight, not foot ball player large), naked man in his mid-fifties, was being ejected from the play room, screaming and yelling, as another man and his partner came out. The second man was bleeding from his face where the first man had punched him and his partner (wife?) was visibly shaken, as were all those around them. This really put a damper on things for us, as well as the others who came out of the room, so my wife and I decided to go enjoy the buffet and then leave.

It didn't turn out as planned, but it made for a good story.

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by incommunicado

Well, we weren't exactly feeling the love, but we thought we'd give the play room a try, if only to see it and play together. As we cautiously walked back there, a very very large (overweight, not foot ball player large), naked man in his mid-fifties, was being ejected from the play room, screaming and yelling, as another man and his partner came out. The second man was bleeding from his face where the first man had punched him and his partner (wife?) was visibly shaken, as were all those around them. This really put a damper on things for us, as well as the others who came out of the room, so my wife and I decided to go enjoy the buffet and then leave.

It didn't turn out as planned, but it made for a good story.

SOOOO.......how was the buffet?

[sexcupid]

That is definitely a good story.

Honestly, I wouldn't go by the pictures of clientle on a website. Of course they are going to put the hotties on there to attract a crowd. We normally go to Hippie Hollow in Austin. If you look at the pics on their site, I think they show alot of women (one major pic is a composite/collage type thing on the main page, so of course they can 'make up' whatever they want)...and in reality on the 'average' weekend, the men outnumber the women there at least 4 to 1.

Wow...a fist fight in the playroom? Whew...wonder what the story was with that.

Eh, if the buffet was good at least it wasn't a total loss.

[incommunicado]

Actually, the buffet was pretty good. Hardly gourmet, as they are often billed, but definitely on par with some of the better chain restaurants. Sodas were free too, which was nice.

My wife suggested something interesting. that the really attractive people can go to regular bars and get people to hook up with, even in groups. They don't need swingers clubs.

[SAMnTINA]

Always love to here the people were not hot enough for us. Maybe you should stay home and look in the mirror instead. We have been to Trap many times and if someone causes trouble they take care of it. This does not happen often but it can happen. One of the things we like about the club is its all ages and all types, even shallow people are allowed inside.

You don't have to do us if we don't meet your standards but to put done others because they are not the hotties you want and still choose to be see at a club well mest be great to be you and I am sure when you get to 50 you will do everyone a favor and never leave the house again.

[tncinmd]

Lets see, you said:

"Most of the crowd was the "not Ken and Barbie" set and were MUCH older than us (we're late 30's to early 40's, most were 50's and up). Now, I am not ranking on the "not Ken and Barbie" folks (we're kinda in that range) or the near-baby boomers. It's simply that we were going to see and be seen and wanted to be surrounded by the young 20-30 something Miami hard bodies that Trapeze is supposedly famous for attracting (all the pics on their site are of said people)."

So, even being 'kinda' in the 'not Ken and Barbie' range, you thought those young 'hardbodies' were going to find you attractive ? That they'd ignore the bodies and age difference in a way you can't about those older and more 'not Ken and Barbie'? How does that work ?

Look, we have no problem with your preference, but unless you're going to hit the gym and get in the hardbody range, we think your expectations are just a bit unrealistic.

[incommunicado]

O.K. this should cover the last two posts including the person that had the balls to send me a "reputation" without signing it.

Here's what they wrote, by the way...

"Comment:
Your not ken and barbi but expect others to be because you paid? Buy a magizine. Clubs are not circus side shows for your cheap thrills![/quote]"

Actually, we are not ken and Barbie but we are professional dance instructors, so we are pretty damn close, (I was just being modest in my note) and we are entitled to want to be around others who are within the same range. When we are 50, we will hang with our age group. But, we are not.

Any other day, I might write something sensitive in reply to your note(s), but today is not that day. Who the hell do any of you think you are to write YOUR notes challenging what we are looking for, or find attractive? The bottom line is that swinging, is about realizing fantasy. You will not find a majority that fantasizes about being surrounded by old, overweight people. Women in Swinging do not fantasize about making it with chubby girls or bald men with small penises. Personalities are great but they can only go so far and overcome so much. Also, if any of you paid close enough attention, you will see that we didn't say we were looking to play with others, just surrounded by others. If we want to go to a club that has a reputation for drawing a young, fit, attractive crowd, in a city where you often must be "at least this hot to walk down this street", then that is our divine right. If we find the reality to be nothing like the fantasy, it's also our divine right to be turned off by that.

And, point of fact, yes, clubs ARE circus shows for our, and everyone elses cheap thrills. Otherwise, why go? "Swinging" is a very broad-spectrum word that includes voyerism. And, if you read my note more carefully, you will see that we weren't ruling out playing with others, just not hunting for it. And, at $70+ just to get into a place, it's best not to expect your money's worth in swapping.

For you overly sensitive types, please note that we did not pass judgement, we merely stated a preference. Next time, think long and hard before (any of) you choose to pass judgement on others for their experiences or their preferences.

[fun4Ds]

Hey calm down, I'm not mad at ya... everybody has to be somewhere.

The buffet is a touchy subject though, We are watchin our weight....hope it was low cal

Lets get to the good stuff... what was the fightin all about

[JustAskJulie]

I think you went to the club with the wrong expectations. You have every right to expect whatever you want to expect but in the end, when you expect TOO MUCH you get dissapointed and that's what happened here.

If all you wanted to do was see and be seen by the hot 20's crowd of Miami you probably should have just gone to a vanilla club to get your groove on then you wouldn't have been upset by paying $70 to get into a club and not seeing hot bodies or having sex.

There were parts of your story that definately add up to a bad experience, but in the end, if a club doesn't live up to your expectations it's not the clubs fault.

[incommunicado]

Julie, I appreciate your chiming in. The reality is, We went in hoping for, but not expecting our own live action porno. But, again, given the nature of Miami, it wasn't entirely unrealistic to do so. But, this is not our first time in a swinger's club, and we have a sense of reality. The demographic, just made it not what we were looking for. A bit of a let down, but no big thing. The buffet, made it not a total loss, and the fist fight clinched it as a good story.

What I went off on, were the unsigned private posts I received (see my posting above) and the posting by SAMnTINA.

Remember Julie, you asked me in your private message why you hadn't heard from me in a while, and I told you it had a lot to do with some of the very judgmental people in the group, and this is a prime example (and, for those of you looking to pounce on this statement, NO, my stating our preferences was NOT being judgmental, but hammering on me for them, was).

[incommunicado]

I re-read your post and realized it was not an outright attack like some others, so I thought it deserved a polite response. If you note, by the quote you chose, I was simply being clear about our preference, without meaning insult to what we were not looking for. This is no different than saying "listen, we have nothing against, but just aren't attracted to... [insert ethnicity here]"

And the kinda not in Ken and Barbie range stems from neither of us being model tall, and me being a bit thinning up top. But my wife is very strikingly beautiful and sexy (not only by my admission, but because I can't keep men away from her). I am cute in features, and run 4-5 miles a day, 5-6 days a week, and do pilates, and we are both professional dance instructors who run our own company, so hard body isn't too far off the mark.

And, if you re-read my post, at no time were we looking to be "found attractive" by others. We just wanted to be surrounded by others while we had sex with each other. That eliminates the issue of "why should they choose us?"

So, in that we are definitely near the proper attractiveness range that we wished to cavort with (which is, of course, subjective) and because we were not expecting anyone to want us anymore than we wanted them, I think our expectations, or at least our desire for such, was not unrealistic.

Again, I appreciate your polite approach and hope I have answered your questions effectively.

Originally Posted by tncinmd

Lets see, you said:

"Most of the crowd was the "not Ken and Barbie" set and were MUCH older than us (we're late 30's to early 40's, most were 50's and up). Now, I am not ranking on the "not Ken and Barbie" folks (we're kinda in that range) or the near-baby boomers. It's simply that we were going to see and be seen and wanted to be surrounded by the young 20-30 something Miami hard bodies that Trapeze is supposedly famous for attracting (all the pics on their site are of said people)."

So, even being 'kinda' in the 'not Ken and Barbie' range, you thought those young 'hardbodies' were going to find you attractive ? That they'd ignore the bodies and age difference in a way you can't about those older and more 'not Ken and Barbie'? How does that work ?

Look, we have no problem with your preference, but unless you're going to hit the gym and get in the hardbody range, we think your expectations are just a bit unrealistic.

[incommunicado]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Hey calm down, I'm not mad at ya... everybody has to be somewhere.

The buffet is a touchy subject though, We are watchin our weight....hope it was low cal

Lets get to the good stuff... what was the fightin all about

Of course it wasn't low cal. But, we weren't going to have sex (with each other, or friends) and there wasn't a display of Hagen Daz to choose from, so bacon, eggs, sausage and other assorted, nitrate laden breakfast delights had to do.

And, no idea what the fight was about. But the big guy was pretty pissed off and didn't like being challenged by the club for his behavior, and the guy with the bruised face was pretty good natured and said, "I didn't lose my hard on, so it wasn't too bad,"

[tribbles]

There are a few parties around our area that we go to play together and enjoy the view Usually there are a few very hot couples but they don't always play...many are just into being there, being seen but only dressed to the nines....

For playtime with others we do go to the parties where people are older and personality counts way more than looks.

I can understand the hope of getting to be around the young ones to watch and being bummed about not finding it. I suspect the economy is partly to blame....at 70 to get in the door, less of the young ones have that to spend right now. But the Fight! OMG....that would have made it a real bummer........

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by incommunicado

My wife suggested something interesting. that the really attractive people can go to regular bars and get people to hook up with, even in groups. They don't need swingers clubs.

Not necessarily. We know some very attractive people who go to swing clubs and never hook up with anybody. It's not because they don't want to, it's because they don't know HOW to. It takes more than good looks to be "attractive" to us. It takes personality.

One thing about the "young 20-30 something hard bodies" that you were looking for..... their "strike zone" is probably from late teens to around 30. That means they're looking for girls who still have tight flat tummies and perky boobs and men that have 6-packs and full heads of hair and can go all night long. Even if your bodies are in really good shape, your hands, feet, skin, teeth, and libido are still in mid-life. "Early 40's" is only a few years younger than their parents.

Does it seem ironic to you that percentage-wise, the people you wanted to hook up with (20's-30's) were about the same age difference from you as the ones you considered "much older" (50's) and wanted to avoid?

I still think your story was pretty funny. I wonder what was said (or done) that got that guy clocked?

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by incommunicado

Julie, I appreciate your chiming in. The reality is, We went in hoping for, but not expecting our own live action porno. But, again, given the nature of Miami, it wasn't entirely unrealistic to do so. But, this is not our first time in a swinger's club, and we have a sense of reality. The demographic, just made it not what we were looking for. A bit of a let down, but no big thing. The buffet, made it not a total loss, and the fist fight clinched it as a good story.

What I went off on, were the unsigned private posts I received (see my posting above) and the posting by SAMnTINA.

Remember Julie, you asked me in your private message why you hadn't heard from me in a while, and I told you it had a lot to do with some of the very judgmental people in the group, and this is a prime example (and, for those of you looking to pounce on this statement, NO, my stating our preferences was NOT being judgmental, but hammering on me for them, was).

Sometimes it's not in what is said but in the delivery and I've done it myself where I've posted what I thought was a clear message about a situation or something we encountered only to have it made clear to me that sometimes you just "had to be there" to really understand where someone is coming from. It's not that people are attacking you as much as trying to understand and because you were there you "get it" and don't see why they don't get it, and on the other hand they weren't there and don't understand why they can't get it.

As for the reputation issue. Those are anonymous by nature. You can check out this thread for more info on that, it's purpose and why it's set up the way it is. It's not that someone didn't sign their comment it's that those are meant to be anonymous.