Once again the Green-eyed Monster makes its appearance.

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Hello Everybody,
Here's the story, A couple we have recently met asked us to spend the night at a hotel with them to celebrate the husbands birthday. We had previously played with this couple at their home and then at a house party so we could see no problems looming. For the week preceding the hotel date the lady was sending me "I can't wait for the weekend" text messages. Laurie was getting similar messages from the man.
Saturday arrived and they called and said they could pick us up at out house and ride with them to dinner, the adult store, and the hotel. We were having a great time running around town with them. After dinner we went to the hotel and played an adult party game.
At that point I started feeling like there was some kind of tension going on. The pacing of the evening seemed wrong. Eventually the guy whispered back and forth with his wife and she came over and cuddled up with me.
Laurie took that as a cue and went over and sat on the other bed with him.
I was happily occupied so I wasn't paying much attention to what was going on over there. I heard him say something about a back ache and Laurie used her bedroom voice and said she'd give him a back rub. As I got more involved with the lady I heard several heavy sighs from that side of the room but I didn't think they meant anything more than a good time.
Shortly after I started having intercourse with the lady her husband got up in a huff, threw his clothes on and stormed outside and drove away.
After he left his wife said "Well, I was afraid something like this would happen."
We all got dressed. Eventually he came back to the parking lot and called her on her cell phone. she went outside to have a talk with him. While Laurie and I were alone we had a conference on what happened.
She told me he had declined everything but the back rub from her. While she was giving the back rub he had done nothing but watch me and the lady and get more tense. She knew he was getting upset but her best attempts to attract his attention to happier pursuits failed.
Eventually they came inside. The guy started wordlessly packing their luggage. I followed suit. While he was checking out we had a chance to talk to the lady. He had told her, "I know you really want Jeff, so go ahead."
She took him literally. He told her afterward that he was being sarcastic. She told us that he'd be OK once they talked it out. The guy came back out and wordlessly drove us back to our house.
Soooooo, here's what we learned:

1). From now on we don't go anywhere without our car.

2). From now on if one of us notices anybody getting upset or uptight
we speak up to each other and the games get a "time out" till the
issue is resolved.

It there anything else we should have learned from this incident? Did we do anything wrong? Any input would be most appreciated.
Thanks,
Jeff and Laurie

[Tybee Swing]

Hi Jeff and Laurie,

What a crazy, crazy night! I'm so sorry for you. I don't think you two did anything wrong. You were invited by this couple (they initiated) a night in the hotel to celebrate his birthday. They were both texting you all week that they couldn't wait. They took you to the adult store. They initiated the adult game. It was obvious that the big night out was to be about sex!

It seemed like everything was going great until the game: "After dinner we went to the hotel and played an adult party game. At that point I started feeling like there was some kind of tension going on. The pacing of the evening seemed wrong."

What happened here? Was he in a great mood up until this time? What about the pace that you mentioned - did it seem rushed? I wonder if his wife did/said something that was a trigger to him, but would have meant nothing to the two of you?

You say you met them recently. Was this to be the first time you'd be having sex with them? Are they newbies? Have they never done this before?

"While he was checking out we had a chance to talk to the lady. He had told her, "I know you really want Jeff, so go ahead." She took him literally. He told her afterward that he was being sarcastic."

Did he think this was just a sleep-over party? What was he thinking??

One more thought -- is it possible that they were only up for soft swing, this wasn't communicated to you, and instead of saying something he freaked out?

[flkeyscouple]

It doesn't seem to me that you did anything wrong. You've played with this couple before so how would have known it could/would fall apart. I appreciate your 'learning' list. We've never played without our vehicle before, but I could see it happening - now it won't!

Drama - everyone wants to avoid it, but I don't see HOW you could have seen it coming. Having played with them before (and no drama then) I'm not sure we'd have reacted any different than you did when you first noticed 'some tension'.

Chalk it up to experience, and you've already learned from it.

Sarah

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Hi Tybee,

.What about the pace that you mentioned - did it seem rushed?
It didn't seem rushed. At the time it seemed like they wanted to get on with it but they were being shy. In hindsight I think that tension came from a disagreement between them over how far they wanted to take things.

Was this to be the first time you'd be having sex with them? Are they newbies? Have they never done this before?
They are newbies, but it was not the first time we'd been with them. We had played with them including full swap at their house and again at a house party a week later.

When we played at their house it was separate rooms and there was no tension at all. It went very well that time.

At the house party I'm not sure how the whole evening went. I was trying very hard to convince myself that I wasn't feeling awful. I was in pain from a chronic health condition so I bowed out shortly after the play session got going and went to bed. When I left they were in a bedroom set up as a public play room and seemed to be having a good time.

One more thought -- is it possible that they were only up for soft swing, this wasn't communicated to you, and instead of saying something he freaked out?

That is possible I suppose. Given that we had done full swap play with them before and nobody said things were going to be any different I went for it.
I would hope that if they had decided to change the rules they would say so.

We're trying to decide whether we want to chalk this up to a misunderstanding and give it another shot whenever they call us again or give them the "No Thanks" treatment.

[Tybee Swing]

Wow....you'd already done full swap with this couple, and still got this extreme level of drama from them. Very odd!

It seems like the only real difference was that it was separate room the first time, and this time it was going to be in the same room.

The only real clue you got was his comment about you (Jeff):

Originally Posted by nice_cpl_n_bama

He had told her, "I know you really want Jeff, so go ahead." She took him literally. He told her afterward that he was being sarcastic.

Maybe (just guessing), while you all went separately that first time, he was driving himself crazy thinking about his wife alone with you in that other room. Perhaps he had it all built up in his mind. "What if he's better? What if he's bigger? What if my wife falls for him? etc. Maybe he's been having very mixed feelings about this whole swinging thing.....maybe dealing with jealousy and possibly feeling competitive with you, while at the same time being turned-on by swinging, too. Perhaps he's been keeping these mixed feelings mostly to himself, and they just all spilled out on your whole party.

Some men need to be "the only dick in the room" or they can't function (I've actually heard this term used as a reason a man couldn't same-room swap or have a threesome). Since they are newbies, perhaps he's just discovering for himself that he's one of these guys. Newbies have to discover their likes and dislikes one event at a time.

It could be any number of things, but it certainly wasn't your fault. If you get more details from them later, I'd love to hear what was really going on with him! I'm very curious!

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

I called a friend who has been hosting house parties for years. I asked him all these same questions. He gave me some advice that doesn't really illuminate what went wrong, but it sure seems to the point.
He said "I wouldn't worry about it too much. Almost always when a couple has a jelousy meltdown like that, you never see them at parties again. Since you'll probably never hear from them again, it doesn't really matter much what their problem was."

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by nice_cpl_n_bama

I called a friend who has been hosting house parties for years. I asked him all these same questions. He gave me some advice that doesn't really illuminate what went wrong, but it sure seems to the point.
He said "I wouldn't worry about it too much. Almost always when a couple has a jelousy meltdown like that, you never see them at parties again. Since you'll probably never hear from them again, it doesn't really matter much what their problem was."

Their problem isn't so much your issue at this point I guess. So the only thing you can do is learn from it. What you stated before I would think is an excellent point. If one of you two see some issues from the other couple, play should halt and get it sorted out. A couple we were with did that, and we really appreciated it in retrospect.

Mr. Truelove

[good times]

Originally Posted by nice_cpl_n_bama

Soooooo, here's what we learned:

1). From now on we don't go anywhere without our car.

2). From now on if one of us notices anybody getting upset or uptight
we speak up to each other and the games get a "time out" till the
issue is resolved.

It there anything else we should have learned from this incident? Did we do anything wrong? Any input would be most appreciated.

That is pretty much the basics, don't feel alone we learned this the hard way too. Now days, we have to know someone really well and be really comfortable with them to go with them without transportation of our own. And we have also learned to have good situational awareness at all times and stop if anything doesn't seem right.

You didn't do anything wrong and I know of no way these situations can be predicted in advance. I wish I could say that this will never happen again, but if our experience is any indication, this happens every once in a while, not often, but we have had similar experiences more than once.

[havefuninsun]

What a bummer. Sorry y'all had to deal with all of this.

[spectraschain]

We're trying to decide whether we want to chalk this up to a misunderstanding and give it another shot whenever they call us again or give them the "No Thanks" treatment.

That's a no-brainer from our perspective.

[LOL_OMG]

It sounds to me that there were things happening behind the scenes that you couldn't have anticipated. I do think the lessons learned were good ones...especially the "drive your own car, so you have an out" one

Sorry you had a bad experience but thanks so much for posting it so that the rest of us can learn from it as well.

Mrs

[sexychoclit]

Head for the hills. Once jealousy rears its ugly head, you can count on more situations like this to come up. May not be as extreme, but you will have issues.

[clutch]

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

What a bummer. Sorry y'all had to deal with all of this.

This comment is right on; it fits in the "shit happens" catagory; nothing to do but move on and fergit it. (I wouldn't tie myself up in knots over it because everything really is pretty straight forward.)

It seems like no one (except maybe the dude's wife) saw this coming. It may be that dude has some things to figure out; but whatever, you're clean.

[sexcupid]

Wow, what a sticky wicket to find yourselves in.

I agree with lesson 1....lmao

We've only had a few experiences so far and only one play session has been stopped...and I'm the one that stopped it (you can see a separate post for that one, wasn't a great situation tho...found out from my play partner that their condom had broke, instead of stopping my SO just took it off and continued on...to put it mildly, I was NOT happy. Not like I caused a huge scene there, but we had words about it on the way home).

Maybe he just wasn't as ready for same room play as his wife thought?

With that kind of drama, don't know if I'd want to play again...but if you like them well enough to extend the olive branch for friendship, good luck.

Maria

[DBL D]

We met a couple and played with them a couple times and everything seemed great; he was Fem D's fav at the time, maybe still is...then after the third time it was like night and day. Maybe that was the problem in your case...the other guy sensed some extra feelings that he might not have expected to get about the way you two played together. Well, we were sad and extremely confused, being real newbies at the time. We never got any real clarification from them as to what the problem was and were left feeling it must have been our fault...never a good thing if not true.

So let them go. There really are others out there who can handle themselves properly. Not saying that what this man did wasn't better than blowing up about it in front of everyone. Wonder what their discussion was like afterwards? One was probably totally embarrassed and the other also and just couldn't say sorry or what the problem was. Would you really want to risk another thing like this happening again?

Male D