Couple not ready?

[r_poseidon]

First, I hate this. It seems like every post I put up is in "Situational Help"! Annoying to me when I think of this.
Anhwho, every since we started with other couples, things have gone relatively well. We have been very lucky in finding good, honest couples, and we all get along perfectly. A few have actually become very good friends of ours.
We recently met this one couple, and they are among the more attractive ones. Oh screw it, they are HOT. My girl is totally into the guy, and I can't hardly last with this girl. But last night... there were some strange issues. I felt as if we were in the middle of something going on. We were over for several hours, me and the guy were on the XBOX 360 (HELL YA!!), and my girl and his wife were off talking and playing online. Well, the two girls started making out and all, so we go into the bedroom. Yada yada yada, soon, everyone is naked, my girl is on top of the guy, and the girl is on top of me. They finish early, and walk out to clean up. The girl is still fucking me, but all of a sudden, seems to get really mad, jumps up off me, and starts to storm off. I think I have done something wrong, and ask, but she says that it wasn't me. My girl tells me a few minutes later that this guy has been basically not talking about anything else except wanting to "get it on" and such. That she really didn't want to drink or do anything last night. Which is fine with me, I have flat out said on nights I didn't want to do anything, even with them. And that if she had told me she didn't want to do anything, then no way in hell would I have.
Here is the thing: they want us to hang out tonight again. If and when something happens, how on Earth do I know if she is doing it because she wants to, and not because of the guy? And how do I convey to this guy that he basically needs to just chill the hell out and let whatever is going to happen, happen?
Any personal anecdotes or such?

[sexyshelby]

This is interesting. And it seems to be more their problem than yours. I would recommend not seeing them tonight. Just be honest and explain that after last night you think it best if both couples have some time to talk and think about the situation. I realize as I'm writing this it's already 'tonight' so my advice may be too late.

You definitely need to talk to them. Maybe the two girls can talk some more and you can talk to him. Hopefully they will talk, as it seems to me that this is their issue. If this happens again, I would have to say move on and find another couple. No need to get involved in their drama.

Good luck.

~SS

[WesternSwing]

DANGER r_poseidon, DANGER!

This is a drama couple.

They are obviously not on the same page about swinging. It would seem from your post that they are probably into it for different reasons, or the wrong reasons.

If you want to remain friends with them you need to talk to them outright about this. Tell them that you feel they have some stuff they need to work through and you want to remain friends with them, but right now you're not comfortable playing with them.

They may be offended. You may get a mixed reaction, like he's pissed and she's happy about it. Or they may both realize it and have no problem. But, IMO, the honesty is always the best policy, even if the short-term outcome isn't what you'd hope it will be.

Mr. WS

[catslaughing]

I would be busy tonight if I were you. We met a nice couple, she was sexy and he was not offensive at first, but on our second meeting we saw that the flaws we had passed over as first time jitters on their part were deep and problematic. The couple you are dealing with sounds much the same. Stay home turn up the thermostat and take off clothes and enjoy a drama free night of great sex.

[r_poseidon]

Well thanks for all the helpful tips. We actually didn't see them the following night. The guy isn't a bad guy, just has a very brash personality. I talked to him last night actually, and everything is seeming to be better. I did tell him that he needed to tone it down a bit though, cuz my girl was finding him a tad offensive. I also told him that if she felt offended, obviously he wouldn't be getting any
All in all, from what my overly perceptive and analytical self can see, things are going a lot better. Now for the other issue... :-)

[Chicup]

I agree that making sure everyone is ok with it is important. I'm not sure if it needs to be together or not. If you are good enough friends maybe your wife could ask her woman to woman and you can speak to him about it. We have some great swing friends and there have been times where one of the 4 of us were not on the same page. We even had a drama night where Mrs. Chicup was so hormonal she started to cry. Luckily they knew us well enough to know it was just a bad night and not a real issue.