A Really Bad Night at a club!

[Azure_Dawn]

We've been to swinger clubs a few times and enjoyed ourselves tremendously, especially last time, which was a month ago. Last night we went again, but unfortunately, it was a totally different experience.
This time people were not paying much attention to us. We were doing our damnedest to be friendly, sexy, outgoing and playful, but nothing seemed to work. Our previous experience was about a month ago, people were extremely open to us, and it was just a great night. Last night , it felt like we were crashing a private party. It seemed as though we were invisible. We are very attractive and generally do not have any trouble in this area. I feel a bit embarassed, there I was, naked in front of a room full of people, going down on my husband with my behind in thier faces. I was doing everything I could to entice others to join. They just stared at us. We tried to strike up conversations and only acheived lots of small talk. I mentioned how akward I felt to a girl that I spoke to in the bathroom. She said that many people there were in a local swinging organization. It seemed to me that they were only interested in having sex with each other and not open to others. If this is the case, I'm bothered by it, because the first club we went to a few months ago was overrun by this same organization. We changed clubs to avoid them. They seem to be taking over in our area. After last night, I'm hesitant to do this again. That now makes 2 times that we spent hundreds of dollars to go out and be ignored. Does anyone have any advice for us?

thanks
Dawn

[imsnowman]

What clubs are you going to? We're thinking of moving to Atlanta and were encouraged by the clubs' websites but this isn't good news.

we spent hundreds of dollars to go out and be ignored

Also, are they that expensive? We've never spent more than $60 plus wine.

my behind in thier faces

Maybe they all thought you were happy and busy since they couldn't see your face.

many people there were in a local swinging organization.

You might have to do the old "if you can't beat 'em join 'em" trick.

[Azure_Dawn]

Originally posted by imsnowman
What clubs are you going to? We're thinking of moving to Atlanta and were encouraged by the clubs' websites but this isn't good news.

Also, are they that expensive? We've never spent more than $60 plus wine.

Well, it's only 75 dollars to get in, after paying the initial membership fee, but we always buy alcohol, condoms, accessories, etc. before we go. Both times, I bought a sexy negligee to wear to the club. So, we ended up investing a lot in the evening.

As far as your first question about Atlanta, we have had good experiences here, but I guess there's good and bad everywhere. Maybe our last experience was just SO great, that it's hard to live up to that a second time. I will say that the staff at the club (it's called Trapeze) is always great. Very professional and friendly. Our problem was not with the club but just that awful crowd last night! ()()

Dawn

[imsnowman]

What local organization is it that can take over or dominate a club as large as Trapeze appears to be? Is it an official organization with officers and membership and all that rigamaroll? Or just a group who tend to play together?

They may play like to somewhat control STD's.

[blue_eyez]

I'm surprised to hear Trapeze was cliquish since they haven't been open all that long. I've heard that Velvet Heaven can be very cliquish, which has been open for a long time and seems to attract the same people time after time.

My guess is you simply caught Trapeze at a time when it was overrun with a club. It's probably worth another try on another night. Also, if you have friends in the lifestyle, you might arrange to go with them together just so you don't feel left out. A final thought is to try Club Venus which is supposed to be less cliquish than VH. http://www.clubvenus.com/

[Azure_Dawn]

Originally posted by blue_eyez
I'm surprised to hear Trapeze was cliquish since they haven't been open all that long. I've heard that Velvet Heaven can be very cliquish, which has been open for a long time and seems to attract the same people time after time.

My guess is you simply caught Trapeze at a time when it was overrun with a club. It's probably worth another try on another night. Also, if you have friends in the lifestyle, you might arrange to go with them together just so you don't feel left out. A final thought is to try Club Venus which is supposed to be less cliquish than VH. http://www.clubvenus.com/

Someone told me that the majority of people that were at Trapeze last Saturday night were regulars from Velvet Heaven. I wasn't surprised, since our one and only time at Velvet Heaven was a similar experience to this last time at Trapeze.
I can't stress it enough - Trapeze was like a different place this time. People were actually visibly upset. Near the end of the evening, one girl in the locker room was yelling at the top of her lungs because she was so angry. I overheard several others say "nobody's f*cking!", or "what a bunch of ##@%!", or similar sentiments. I observed several people at different times, at least 3, slumping on the couches in the back, looking depressed! Believe me, we weren't the only ones who noticed the difference.
I feel like I'm being all sour grapes here though. I don't want to give the impression like we have some kind of expectations that everyone's going to roll out the red carpet for us. I want to let you all know that we are very friendly people and are very open to life's ups and downs. I guess I'm just hoping that Trapeze doesn't become exclusive and cliquish because it was so fun!

Thanks about the info on club Venus. What did you think of it? It got a few negative reviews, but you never know..

Dawn

[imsnowman]

Be sure to express your feelings to the management at both places. I'm not in the business so I'm not sure what they can do. But, I'm sure they'd like to know what's going on.

[JustAskJulie]

At least you know that it wasn't just you. I'd just chalk it up to being a bad night. Don't write-off the club because of it, but I would, as someone else mentioned, say something to the hosts. I'm sure (from the sounds of it) you wouldn't be the only ones to do so and the more feedback they get the more they can do to make the club better for you.

Do the two clubs usually have parties on the same nights? Was Velvet Heaven maybe closed that night (when they usually aren't) for some reason? If so, that may be what drove all those regulars over to the other club.

[OhioCouple]

I'll agree with the most of the responses given here. Although we have only had less than 10 experiences with clubs, each night we have attended seemed to attract different crowds.

One night in particular that comes to mind is one in which a large group from different states drove in to party for the weekend. The club seemed over run by them in a sense as they all knew each other and were specifically there to mingle with their known friends.

We have also been to the same club where we met others on a more sedate night. I would say do not judge the club by what happened on one particular evening. If you enjoy going to clubs and the atmosphere that it offers, then by all means continue to do so. Chances are that you will meet and connect with other people that are looking for the same enjoyment that you do.

I am not really sure that I agree with going to the management with it unless it is something that is happening every weekend. In our limited experience, I do know that clubs make special consessions for groups and give them l discounts, ie. a 3 month membership as opposed to a yearly one. The important thing to remember here is that even though it is a swingers club, the bottom line is money with the management. I am not discounting the fact that they adhere to other policies and rules, but you cannot run any operation without a continual cash flow. I can't find fault with that.

Lori

[imsnowman]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
I am not really sure that I agree with going to the management with it unless it is something that is happening every weekend. In our limited experience, I do know that clubs make special consessions for groups and give them l discounts, ie. a 3 month membership as opposed to a yearly one. The important thing to remember here is that even though it is a swingers club, the bottom line is money with the management. I am not discounting the fact that they adhere to other policies and rules, but you cannot run any operation without a continual cash flow. I can't find fault with that. Lori

True enough. But, I'm sure that the managements would want to know if their policies were driving away the regular customers. Also, they might not have had anything to do with this new crowd showing up in which cased they might want to know so they could be on the lookout for future problems.

In any case, telling them your feelings can't hurt. What they do with the info after you give it to them is up to them.

[JustAskJulie]

I guess one thing I have to wonder about is if there were others complaining about there not being any action that night. Why weren't they making it happen? Obvously you guys did try to get things going but others didn't join in? What was it (REALLY) that kept the other regulars who were there from doing what they normally do?

I realize there was a large group of people who weren't regulars to that club but who had a group of their own more or less, but there were still Trapeze regulars there as well. What was it about this influx of VH people that kept the Trapeze regulars from participating as they normally would?