IF MARRIED~DON'T SWING...IT CAN BE HORRIBLE & RUIN YOUR MARRIAGE

We Did It..a 3 Some And Have Had Nothing But Flash Backs And Bad Memories...we Found Out The Hard Way..that All We Ever Needed Was Each Other. If You Love The One You're With..don't Ruin It By Inviting Someone Into Your Love Life.....we Made A Bif Mistake And Wish It Hadn't Ever Happened Now.
Seriously Before You Do Think About It And Realize It's Only Lust And Only Lasts For A Few Minutes The Bad Memoried Last Forever!

[intuition897]

lol.. It will be very interesting to see the responses to this post, Guest. If you'd like to respond to this thread any further (and we'd love to hear back from you), you'll need to register, though.

Hope to hear back from you!

To respond to your statement, I'd like to say that while your experience is not exactly unique (meaning that there are lots of other couples out there who were playing with fire when they tried swinging), neither is it the ONLY outcome of swinging. This board is chock full of happy-ending stories from married couples, and as one of them, I have to say I believe they are true.

I am very sorry that your relationship was damaged. Maybe you think it ridiculous to do so, but I'm sure if you posted more detail about exactly what happened, there are lots of folks on here who would like to help by offering some heartfelt advice. Troubleshooting, if you will.

[captainbob]

I hope to hear back too. I'm sure there's a lesson there.

Sure there's horror stories. Swinging is not for everybody.

You need a good solid loving relationship with your spouse. You need to do a little research. You need to discuss it. You need great communication. You need honesty. You both need to agree to do it. You need a plan to deal with trouble. You need to start slow.

How many of these things were missing to create the horror story?

[TNT]

So true, married almost 25 years and swinging about 23, I am expecting our marriage to fail at any moment.

Ted

[Roman Hands]

It will make you go BLIND too!!!!!!!

[tribbles]

hair on the palms (and worse....other palces too! LOL )

[Mr. Truelove]

Yes, It Seems Very Unlikely To Work. Despite What Would Appear To Be Successful Swingers On This Site And Others, I'm Sure That They Are All On The Verge Of Failure.

I Call It A Swinging "Bubble", Which I Am Sure Will Burst At Any Moment.

L O L

[turnuptheheat]

I hope guest registers and perhaps the input from members can actually help to heal what is at least perceived as a wound to their relationship.
Does the Mrs feel the same way? How long ago was it and under what circumstances did the 3 way occur?
Was it totally discussed beforehand or spontaneous?

Most swingers would agree that ll they really need is each other, but the experience of swinging, rather than being hurtful is liberating and brings them to alevel of mutual love and respec that is deeper and more complex than before.

Is there a particular element of the experience that guest is threatened by?
Maybe there is help here guest, and as was already posted, maybe swinging is not for you.

[Dooode]

I heard a saying once on another forum and for years it stuck with me. (I'm going to paraphrase it and I might muck it up, but here goes!)

"Swinging is like a fire to a marriage. If the marriage is secure and trustful, swinging adds a nice warm flame to the relationship. If the marriage is laced with insecurities and mistrust, swinging will burn it out faster than a forest fire out of control."

Hey, I didn't muck it up after all!

As a side-comment, I've seen marriages where one or the other is doing something without the knowledge of their spouse (or plans to). I always recognize that as a bad sign in the marriage and I'll drop them as a prospect or playmate.

Trust and open communication = good.
Scheming and potential drama = bad.

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

When Laurie and I started playing with another couple there were some issues to work out, but within a few weeks we had it all in proper context and it was fine.
We started playing in our 4th year of marriage. December will be 19 years for us. I'm really sorry that it didn't work out for the people in question but I think it was other issues, not swinging that caused the difficulty. Maybe the extra strain brought it to the surface, but deeper issues caused it.

[WesternSwing]

I don't think the OP is someone swinging didn't work out for. I think it is a drive-by posting from some "the end is near" zealot trying to save us from something they see as wrong and immoral. They gave it their best shot. LOL

Mr. WS

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

We Did It..a 3 Some And Have Had Nothing But Flash Backs And Bad Memories...we Found Out The Hard Way..that All We Ever Needed Was Each Other. If You Love The One You're With..don't Ruin It By Inviting Someone Into Your Love Life.....we Made A Bif Mistake And Wish It Hadn't Ever Happened Now.
Seriously Before You Do Think About It And Realize It's Only Lust And Only Lasts For A Few Minutes The Bad Memoried Last Forever!

I Feel Like Pointlessly Flaming You For Not Knowing How To Type Properly!

Really, even if you never reached an education level where you were required to type papers (which for the last 20 or so years has been highschool for most), a few moments to see how other people type is all you need to get the format right.

I shall call this, Pet Peeve Number 9.

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I Feel Like Pointlessly Flaming You For Not Knowing How To Type Properly!

Really, even if you never reached an education level where you were required to type papers (which for the last 20 or so years has been highschool for most), a few moments to see how other people type is all you need to get the format right.

I shall call this, Pet Peeve Number 9.

I Totaly Agree HeH HeH

[Amanda69]

crap so we have been doing it wrong all along...damn I knew it was too good to be true...being happy, content and sexually excited by sharing ourselves with others...ahh well

[Spoomonkey]

Yawn

Seriously... This board is filled with strong marriages and experienced swing couples. Your one bad experience does not invalidate the experiences of the rest of us - it only proves the idea that to swing, you need a strong marriage with excellent communication.

If you don't then, it certainly can be quite horrible...

This is sort of like walking up the edge of the pool at the Olympics and telling all the swimmers that they could drown...

:rollseyes

Spoomonkey

PS - Thanks for the warning, though. God forbid something bad happen to us...