IF MARRIED~DON'T SWING...IT CAN BE HORRIBLE & RUIN YOUR MARRIAGE

[carrysmith]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

We Did It..a 3 Some And Have Had Nothing But Flash Backs And Bad Memories...we Found Out The Hard Way..that All We Ever Needed Was Each Other. If You Love The One You're With..don't Ruin It By Inviting Someone Into Your Love Life.....we Made A Bif Mistake And Wish It Hadn't Ever Happened Now.
Seriously Before You Do Think About It And Realize It's Only Lust And Only Lasts For A Few Minutes The Bad Memoried Last Forever!

SWINGING ISNT FOR EVERYBODY,AT OUR CLUB WE HEARD FROM THE STAFF THAT MANY IF NOT MOST OF THE COUPLES THERE END UP SEPERATEING OR COMPLETLY BREAKING UP AFTER A FEW MONTHS OF JIONING THE SWINGLIFESTYLE...

[lovinher]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Its the troll thread that wouldn't die.

and comming next month....

Revenge of the troll thread that didn't die!

It's been over a year already.

I kind of like this thread.

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by carrysmith

SWINGING ISNT FOR EVERYBODY,AT OUR CLUB WE HEARD FROM THE STAFF THAT MANY IF NOT MOST OF THE COUPLES THERE END UP SEPERATEING OR COMPLETLY BREAKING UP AFTER A FEW MONTHS OF JIONING THE SWINGLIFESTYLE...

Sorry, but the reality is very much otherwise. I also seriously doubt the staff has any clue about the fate of various couples. We're members of three different swing clubs, and not one of them has any clue or any means to have a clue about the status of our marriage. Further, if the couples attending the club kept breaking up, the club would be out of business. I think you're being lied to.

Swinging isn't for everybody, and every couple should make informed decisions about the lifestyle for themselves. Some couples make very bad decisions. Most couples don't.

As to the troll nature of this thread; ok, it is a troll. So what? I think for new couples embarking on the adventure of swinging, this thread can serve to highlight a valid concern some people have, and respond to it.

[mixtupcpl]

Originally Posted by carrysmith

SWINGING ISNT FOR EVERYBODY,AT OUR CLUB WE HEARD FROM THE STAFF THAT MANY IF NOT MOST OF THE COUPLES THERE END UP SEPERATEING OR COMPLETLY BREAKING UP AFTER A FEW MONTHS OF JIONING THE SWINGLIFESTYLE...

50% of marriages end in divorce right? I mean thats an actual stat. I agree that it is really very unlikely that "the staff" has *any clue* what the personal lives of any of these members are about. But figure that in *any* gathering of couples, there are about 50/50 odds for any one of them surviving long term.

I'd actually be willing to bet that successful swinger couples have much lower odds of separation.

I'd also be willing to bet that some number of couples who really don't belong together and are on their way to a breakup "experiment" in the final days in an attempt to fix things that cant be fixed.

The interesting stat would be of the 50% of folks who *dont* get divorced, how many live some sort of alternate lifestyle...

[BamaRide]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

We Did It..a 3 Some And Have Had Nothing But Flash Backs And Bad Memories...we Found Out The Hard Way..that All We Ever Needed Was Each Other. If You Love The One You're With..don't Ruin It By Inviting Someone Into Your Love Life.....we Made A Bif Mistake And Wish It Hadn't Ever Happened Now.
Seriously Before You Do Think About It And Realize It's Only Lust And Only Lasts For A Few Minutes The Bad Memoried Last Forever!

hmmm unregistered... figures...

REGISTERED!!! The lifestyle did nothing but improve our lives together as a couple.. not for you, fine..love it or leave it.

BamaRide

[bendmeovernow]

Yeap.. i guess we are all doomed... damn.. what ever will i do. seriously though.. we have been swinging for 3 yrs now.. and after the kinks where worked out.. the only thing that is interfering in our marriage is familly members that want to get in our busness and say how we are going to hell and all. arge... hell i am thinking of not being with my husband anymore.. but it's not NOT nott related to swinging.. it's from not being compatable and being too different with almost nothing in comon. when all you have is kids and swinging in common... yeap... that can cause a break up. anyways.... as others posted... swinging isn't for everyone, do your home work and set up ground rules before you do anything, and don't let others make you not do it if it's something you really want to do.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by bendmeovernow

Yeap.. i guess we are all doomed... damn.. what ever will i do. seriously though.. we have been swinging for 3 yrs now.. and after the kinks where worked out.. the only thing that is interfering in our marriage is familly members that want to get in our busness and say how we are going to hell and all. arge... hell i am thinking of not being with my husband anymore.. but it's not NOT nott related to swinging.. it's from not being compatable and being too different with almost nothing in comon. when all you have is kids and swinging in common... yeap... that can cause a break up. anyways.... as others posted... swinging isn't for everyone, do your home work and set up ground rules before you do anything, and don't let others make you not do it if it's something you really want to do.

I am confused:

So nothing is interfering with your marriage except nose relatives....but you have nothing in common and are contemplating a divorce?

I wasn't sure if part of that was facetious due to the trollishness of the original post, or if you were just trying to say swinging had nothing to do with it.

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by mixtupcpl

50% of marriages end in divorce right? I mean thats an actual stat. I agree that it is really very unlikely that "the staff" has *any clue* what the personal lives of any of these members are about. But figure that in *any* gathering of couples, there are about 50/50 odds for any one of them surviving long term.

I'd actually be willing to bet that successful swinger couples have much lower odds of separation.

When my wife and I first started looking into swinging, I spent a LOT of time researching things like this to add to our discussions. Neither of us wanted to get into something that had a pretty good chance of harming our relationship. The idea of watching my wife have sex with someone else was notionally highly erotic to me, but it wasn't worth screwing up our marriage over.

What I found; swingers, by far, have higher marital satisfaction then non-swinging married couples. The divorce rate is considerably lower. The cheating rate, which is upwards of 50% in non-swinging couples, is less than 2% in swinging couples.

Chicken and egg? No idea which came first. But, successful swingers need to have stable, deep relationships. Nobody here on this forum will tell a non-stable couple to get into swinging.

These stats didn't really influence our decision to try swinging. What did influence us was that a considerably large majority of swingers reported positive effects on their marriage from swinging, and only a very, very small portion reported negative effects.

The reality; if swinging destroyed marriages, swing clubs would be out of business for lack of customers. Sites like swinglifestyle.com wouldn't be very successful. Forums like this one would have shriveled up and died. It's blatantly obvious that swinging doesn't destroy marriages. There are plenty of other ways marriages can be destroyed. But, having sex with other people with your spouse's consent isn't one of them.

Lots of non-swingers assume that swinging must be bad, because cheating to have extra-marital sex is bad. That's not a logical conclusion. Swinging doesn't involve cheating. Cheating is the negative component of cheating to have extra-marital sex. Eliminate the cheating, and you're left with extra-marital sex. It's not for everybody, but for couples with a stable, deep relationship where both would like to enjoy extra-marital sex, there's no default, base reason why having sex with someone else is bad.

[NealnAnji]

Great comment by bbarnsworth. We feel likewise, and, our experience has been very positive as far as swinging goes. If anything, swinging has made our marriage more secure and enriched at the same time.

All said and done, swinging is not for everyone or for every and all couples in this world. This hardly needs repeating. If your marriage is secure and both husband and wife are open to experiencing social as well as sexual intercourse with other partners, that is, someone else's hubby/wife/mate, then swinging is for you.

We have been happily married a long time and have never felt our marriage threatened because of swinging and the fact that wife or hubby plays with and has sexual intercourse with another male or female. Experiencing and enjoying sex with a variety of partners is, to us, a very satisfying and enriching experience.

If the marriage is insecure and/or you cannot overcome jealousy when watching your mate playing with another potential sex partner, and then he/she goes all the way to uninhibited sexual play followed by intercourse, then swinging is definitely not for you.

Swinging and enjoying sex with a variety of partners is a consciously made choice for a couple, not a compulsion or something to do because other couples are doing it. Swinging is not the right lifestyle choice for all couples and sundry.