Sexual Blackmail

[youngnhotcpl]

Can anyone give me advice on what to do in this situation. We started seeing this couple several months ago, and grew very attached. It has turned from being more Swing to Polyamory in the past month, and now the other man wants to have one on one sex with my wife, most likely in a closed door situation, for he will not play with her at all when I am present.

When we first met this couple, we told them, my wife was Bi, and only wanted to play with his woman. Everything progressed well at first, and I also had opprotunities to have sex with his wife. I did not, and I repeat, NOT demand anything, and was only offered this by him. We have enjoyed several FMF, as well as a couple FM with me and his wife, while they watched. Nothing happened closed door.

Now, this other couple is demanding that My Wife have a sexual relationship with him. I have been told (by his wife) that the fun will stop, and she will not have sex with us again if my wife does not put out. I am open to the idea of my wife having sex with another man, so long as it is what she wants, in a safe situation, with someone we know well. I am not Jealous of any pleasure she may get, so long as it is open door, and everyone is involved.

Their attitude is for me to dominate her, and make her have sex with him, or any sex from this point on will stop.

We have grown very attached to this couple, and they are super fun to be with. My wife has no interest in having sex with him. As you can imagine, there are more factors involved, like our age differences, body shapes, sexual experiences, attitudes towards sex, as well as rough vs sensual sex. Things are not as cut and dry as this one point.

She is not attracted to him. She constantly is telling me that she does not want to have sex with him.

He also does things that make me suspicous of his intentions. He had a closed door encounter at a party this past weekend. I trusted him to follow his own rules, about everyone being involved in any sex. All of us had been drinking alot, and we all were very intoxicated. I did not find out until the next day that he had made my wife have a g sopt orgasm, and made her cum / squirt 4 times, and had eaten her pussy. Damn, I wish I could have been there. I would loved to have watched. I did not know of the g sopt trick. He is definately more experienced, and knows alot more than me. This G Spot trick is just that, a trick, and has beed said to cause women to have emotions for men they are not attracted to.

All of this seems underhanded, and selfish. I should have been involved. When I asked her how all of this could have happened, she said that she could not stop him.

I never expected him to pull a rabbit out of the hat like this in a closed door situation. The trust I gave him has been somewhat shattered, to the point of having a panic attack, another new trick my body has never had. What to do now?

[sexyshelby]

I would end things with this couple. It's just too messy and involved for me. If they are giving you panic attacks, is it really worth it to stick it out?

~SS

[jennandjamesinm]

If you aren't interested and your wife isn't interested, I'd cut ties and RUN like hell. They can't MAKE you do anything that you don't want to do. If he (and she)can't follow the rules you you and your wife have set, then to hell with them.

Not only that, but other than not having sex with the two of you, what's the blackmail? There are plenty of other people that swing other than this couple, you just have to get out there and find them. It sounds like you'd be better off without them. Good Luck.

Jenn

[MoonLightKiss]

I agree with the others. You should run like hell. Seems to be way too much drama, and a lack of respect from them. Plenty of other people out there to enjoy, so Run Forrest Run.

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by youngnhotcpl

The trust I gave him has been somewhat shattered, to the point of having a panic attack,

Trust has been SOMEWHAT shattered. Dude there is not somewhat about it.
He disrespected your bounderies, he disrespected your wife.
Did your wife what to take part in this act? Did she say no? Was she frightened?
If she answers yes to one or all of these. WAKE UP man your wife was violated.
End of story.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by youngnhotcpl

Damn, I wish I could have been there. I would loved to have watched.

All of this seems underhanded, and selfish. I should have been involved. When I asked her how all of this could have happened, she said that she could not stop him.

Read this again, I am discusted. You state that your wife said she couldn't stop him and your pissed that you didn't get to watch????
I don't get it. your wife was violated and you are upset????
Do you not see were the problem really is.

If I was harsh please let me know. Perhaps I am misunderstanding, God knows, I hope I am.

Prettylady

[JP51]

Just stop...your wife is sending you a strong NO signal! Cut and run now!

[CB_n_Red]

You only need use two words to that couple. The first starts in "f" etc.

They don't deserve any more consideration than that given their attempts to coerce you both.

CB

[youngnhotcpl]

Both of us care about this couple, and have spent alot of time with their family. We do care about how they feel, and do want to be friends. We have had alot of fun times. This is the first situation we have been in with a aggressive couple. I have not pushed my wife into anything, I have always given her the option to do what she wants, for I do when we are with other women. We have soft swapped, and run around the house naked, she sits on his lap, we have fun, and do fun soft swap stuff together. I can not put all of the blame on her, him, or myself. If I had to guess why she allowed him to toutch her, it was to try and preserve the friendship. This is one of the issues we are having. If she does not put out, they probably will not be willing to keep being friends. We are alot younger than them. I know this does not matter much to most, but they are more dominant in this foursome than us.

As to answer more of your questions about her participation, she said that she just laid there.

I am sure it was different in his eyes. She probably would not tell me even if things were more. She wanted everybody to have a good evening, and the stress of knowing that the good time could end because she was not willing to participate forced her to try, as well as made me let it happen.

[Chicup]

You don't 'force' your friends to have sex with you.

Sorry but they are not your friends.

I could understand them saying something like they would stop playing until she is ready for full swap or something, but trying to get you to force her to do something is just wrong.

[WildMiCouple]

Originally Posted by youngnhotcpl

She is not attracted to him. She constantly is telling me that she does not want to have sex with him.

This says it all.......listen to her

Sounds like he wants to dominate her without you around. And it took her getting drunk before she'd let him touch her I'd definately cut and run with this couple, as others have said. Don't ever put up with another couple that doesn't respect your boundaries.....which says they don't respect you.

As far as the G-spot squirting thing. Plenty of info on the net to guide you in giving her one on your own Just need to do a little homework and practice.

Good luck......and ditch the couple.

Brett

[JustAskJulie]

Trust your gut and end it before it gets any worse. You named this thread "sexual blackmail" nothing in that title or the thread leads me to believe that you have any reason to continue this relationship under these circumstances. WHy would you even consider it?

[nteracialcpl]

We had a very similar situation, except that, to demonstrate the difference between a good, respectful relationship, between consenting adults, and, what seems to be transpiring in your situation, when my g/f expressed that she wasn't yet comfortable with having intercourse with the other guy, he respected the boundaries.
We continued to be friends, and, though I didn't avail myself of the opportunity to have sex with his wife, any longer, the offer still was available.
The "girls" played, a few more times (before his untimely, unfortunate passing), and, never was there felt to be any undue pressure to do anything that anyone was uncomfortable with.
Now, to be honest, I can place myself in the other, older gentleman's shoes, in the sense that we've, also, run into couples that want to play w/her, but not, necessarily, w/me. She's attractive. I understand that, and, accept that that situation is, more or less, to be anticipated, if not, expected.
To this point, she has not wanted to play, w/o me, or, with another guy. If, and/or, when such occasion occurs, I'm hoping that I'm able to be mature enough to accept that, in this lifestyle, one is going to have awesome, excellent experiences, that'll never be duplicated in life, and, I've been allowed other women, as a result of our participation, so, if/when it's her turn, I'll be able to take it in stride.

[youngnhotcpl]

We are not considering keeping up this relationship with this other couple. I do not want to be weak and say that I need your help in getting me out of this situation, for it will end, and I have to break the news to them soon.

This forum is helping me with alot of positive reinforcement, from cool people, that are kind, and know more about this lifestyle than we do, and know how good it can be. Even if you say I am stupid, and need to wake up, I know the only reason you are posting it is because you do care.

We had never been put in that situation before, and the good time seemed like it was worth it. I know all of you are correct, it is not. Thanks.

[biblonde]

You are making the right choice to get out of it. This really isnt much of a freindship if they are trying to make you do something you dont want or taking advatage over someone who is drunk. You are being used by them and no good can come of it. There are so many other decent people out there. Just keep looking and you will find a couple who you not only click with but has full respect for you and your wife. Best of luck to you!!