Sexual Blackmail

[youngnhotcpl]

Another email from this couple after I told them we were not compatable. All we want to do is try and repair ourselves, they are trying to convince us I am a piece of shit, and I guess my wife should choose them over me.

Third email.
You know i don't think we ever mind fucked you as you did us. You said you were our friends and that you wanted to learn and be like us when all you (xxxx) wanted was to fuck me (xxxxxx) as you did not very well but you did. The times that I got off both of them was with xxxx help if not for him it would never have happened. You don't know how to please a woman maybe girls but not a woman which is why i think xxx plays and lets you play with other girls. I never wanted you to beat Jen into submission that you got wrong. But then again i think that you might be more submissive than you know. I really thought that you were better people than what you have shown us and that truly disappoints me.I thought that you were a man that stood up to people and talked if that what was needed but I see now that you are not a man at all not of your actions or of your words, you can not be trusted. We could have been good friends even if the sex was not their but you don't want xxx to get that close to anyone and I see that now. Can't keep her under your thumb if she get to close to the right person. I hope that you find what you are looking for and that xxx gets what she needs. I don't think you will find a WOMAN that you will do much for but good luck.I should have known that the biggest problem was going to be that you could not handle any man touching xxx you are way to selfish. I should never have told Rob that is what I wanted he was never that interested but I thought that was how it should be. If you had been man enough we could have sat down and talked these things out but you aren't a man and I am not sure there is much hope. xxx I am sorry to say that I thought we were friends you made a good show of it. Someday when you grow up and open your eyes you will see that the way you live is not a way of life. You are a much better person than xxxx will ever be and I wish you the best! Good luck with your life you are going to need it for as long as you have him in your life. Bye guys xxxxxx


And another, Lets just all blame this on me, damn, I would liked to have been there. Fuck Me for caring, at least that much.

Fourth email.
You can think what you would like xxx never fucked xxx when you weren't in the room. xxx is the one that wanted to play when you were not thier because you make her uncomfortable. I don't think that you were are friend because friend would have had the nerve to talk to us face to face and you didn't. if you had thinks would have been totaly different. Instead you take some chicken shit way out of it and can't even be a man. And it was me who was pushing for the sex unlike you xxx does listen to what i have to say and thinks about it he knew that i was uncomfortable with the fact that you were fucking me and that all he was doing was standing around that is not right. Hell the sex with you wasn't even good you have no clue what you are doing and are not willing to even learn you don't care what or how to please a woman you couldn't have gotten me off with out xxx because you think all there is to it is pounding on it and it takes most WOMEN alot more than that. xxx didn't want to play with xxx that was what i wanted and that is the truth about it I have never lied to you or to anyone I don't lie i see know reason in it. As for xxx breaking a rule did you ever set any??? Or was it ..xxxs decision?? She can do what she wants. Remember that. xxx didn't I don't think relize that he was breaking a rule. The rule that he gave you were about me if you wanted them for xxx then you should have said that.
As for your message board I don't need poeple to tell me what or how to feel or think about this I am seeing how it is with you. I thought that we were friends and that was a lie because friends talk and try to make things right befor they just say fuck it like you did!!!!!

me again.
I say fuck it. Obviously, these people were trying to minipulate me and my wife. I should be in total agreement on this point.
This other man said he had some rules, it was agreed that I would not Fuck His Wife In The Ass, Or Give Her Cocaine, as well as the no one on one sex. I said, Hell Yea, that goes for mine also. I don't want some fat 50yo man fucking my wifes ass hole, or drugging her, or giving her drugs. This one on one sex was this important to him, and I said the same rules applied, for it seemed like common sence. Guess payback for me will to.... I ain't got no cocaine....

[WonderWhat]

The whole thing reminds me of the whole adolescent bullying/hazing routine:

1. pull kids into the group
2. make them feel included
3. tell them that they're about to be "initiated" into some arcane group/skill/knowledge
4. make them feel that they've accomplished something, and that backing out now would be "losing" something (losing face, prestige, privileges, whatever)
5. use that as a lever to submit them to the group or leader's will

YoungHotCpl: You were very slow to catch on. Cut loose, take a step back, check your situation as a couple, re-examine your assumptions and attend to your relationship, and until that happens, see if you really want to be in the lifestyle, and how (define your rules, the "grey area" description is really fitting and practical).

[Dave_kat]

Dave here, and I've kinda been following this in the background.

We've had a somewhat similiar experience in this type of situation. We met a couple who at first we thought was pretty cool. We were the experienced two in the group, and things were going well.

They preferred different location. They would come over, we would hang out, and he would choose to leave and leave his wife with us. Basically he was "penis shy." We were cool as a group, and he managed to let his guard down before Kat had a chance to go spend some time at their place (we do play alone if everyone is cool with that, different reasons for us etc.)

He started showing a very sexist attitude, something that Kat finds very demeaning. Also he started making a lot of discriminatory remarks regarding gays (Kat's brother is VERY gay). Needless to say, after all of this, Kat took a "No, not going to happen" attitude and stuck by her guns. She didn't have problems being friends, everyone is entitled to their own views, but for her, the sexual attraction was gone. Even after all of these comments, events, etc, she continued to hang out with them on a friendship level (although she and his wife would continue to have sex occasionally)

Kat also told him this in no uncertain terms. He though, allowed his wife and Kat to continue until I returned from OIF I. He would be present, but to my knowledge, did not attempt things with Kat. Afterwards, it was an email saying that because Kat wouldn't play with him, he felt the need to break things off.

I respect Kat, respect her decisions, and bore no ill will towards who I thought would still be friends.

It wasn't until later that we heard from mutual friends about the badmouthing, the claims of inadequacy, and some other torrid comments about us, best left to middle school locker rooms.

Its amazing how people can be on their best behavior and how the true colors eventually come out.

Because of all of the "after" actions, we've broken it off completely. No more talking, no more hanging out.

I suggest you do the same and to go on. Chalk things down to bad experiences. Hurt people will say and do things they never meant, but that is no excuse for the follow-up emails, for the phone calls and all of that.

Do not let them get you down about your performance or your manhood. Is your wife happy with you and how you perform in bed? That's the only real importance. There is another thread on women and orgasms, some good insight about how some women just cannot have an orgasm without their husband there. Maybe, just maybe, they aren't as "experienced" as you might have thought.

These things happen. Relationships end badly. I've always thought of swinging as a double date. You can have some great double dates, but once someone has an issue, it ruins the whole thing for everyone. It takes maturity to not act like we're back in high school with the name calling and the bad rumors.

[biblonde]

I kinda find it amusing that they say over and over and over again how they didnt want to fuck either of you and how horrible you were yet they are fighting tooth and nail to get you to come back so they can convince you to play again....They show their true colors in their emails and hopefully they will get the hint and move on to the next victim. They really need to grow up and you guys need to take it as a learning experiance and move on! best of luck!!

[realpeoplen]

Hi everyone I have been reading all about this and i know what really happened, I was there. We didn't even know thier was a problem until we got a letter left in our mailbox. He didn't even have the courage to come and talk with us about how he felt. It is easy for people to make snap judgements and give advice especially when what they are being told is only half of the story and full of embelishments and half truths on top of that! The fact of the matter is, the night before she "played" with my husband, apparently unwillingly, but NOT what she told him when he asked her "are you sure you want to do this and she said yes". Her apparent change of heart was because the night before my husband talked with her about her desire to play openly for at least and hour and she told him she 'wasn't ready". When she told him she wasn't ready, he told her he was perfectly ok with that and did not want her to do anything she didn't want to do. Fact is he didn't really care either way and he told everyone that. When he found out she told him she didn't want to play he took her home the next morning and put her into tears for several hours because he was so worried that if she didn't play he wouldn't be allowed to play with me anymore. Even after she did an apparent change of heart the next night my husband still asked if she wanted to play and she told him she wanted to. He gave her every chance to say no and even knowing that he made sure the door was open and unlocked while they were playing and the fact is during the 15 or 20 minutes he played with her, with his hands only, didn't even fuck her, me and her husband walked in and out 3 times. It was NOT a behind closed door thing as he would like people to believe and he all but insisted she play with my husband even after my husband told him he didn't care either way!
I think true friends can work out anything if they are willing to talk about whatever the problems are. They never gave us that chanch. If they had we would have said ok we would rather have you as good friends then to have sex. My hubby doesn't need anyone else. He goes around telling everyone that I am trying to fuck him to death .
As for what I said about sex with the other well sorry to say it is true I found it boaring most of the time. In fact while I was on him one time he said "she is getting bored" the only difference being he used my name. He does not take the time to try to really figure out what a woman wants. My husband even offer to help him by telling him things that he could do or say. But he didn't really want that help.
Now if they were feeling so used and abused why is it that the night after all the bad stuff happened they (he mostly) had no problem comming to our house to fuck me? He had not been able to get me off and had tried many many times, so my husband talked me into an orgasam while he fucked me.. but yet they were so used that they can no longer be our friends.
If anyone has been used its has been us. We befriended these people, welcomed them into our home, my husband, in his words, shared his most precious belonging with him, me. He was willing to help this man figure out what it is he doesn't understand about how to please a woman. My husband showed great respect for his wife's wants without ever forcing himself on her and only after she told him she wanted to play with him did he do anything and then just enough to pleasure her. After that he told her he understood her feelings and thought it best to take "baby steps" with it for her sake. This is a pure simple case of a man that has been allowed for years to play with other women and not having to deal with the feelings his wife probably felt that when he finally was put in a position of having to share her with someone else in order to keep getting what he wanted desperately (me) he found out his ego couldn't handle the fact that another man could get his wife off four times in 15 minutes just with his hands. He is having real issues dealing with knowing that there is another man that understands women so much more than him, even his own wife. He has lashed out at us through this site and in all honesty, it is just what I would expect someone to do when they are too much of a coward to be honest and truthful about their feelings. Personally I think taking this approach to dealing with his own insecurities is a childish immature way to make himself feel better about his own shortcomings but in reality, who gives a shit? There are four people that know the truth about what happened and sadly one of them feels the need to lie about it just to make himself feel better. We all know the truth and therefore will not lose any sleep over this situation other than over the loss of someone we hoped would turn out to be really good friend (his wife). This man is an egotistical, self serving, self centered prick. Those were my husbands words about him almost a week before all this happened but my husband still kept and open mind and wanted to give them a chance to prove he was wrong. It really sucks when your husband can say "I told you so" when he warned us about this man's real agenda and it wasn't to have us as real friends. Its was all a ruse on his part to keep fucking the first woman he ever met that was too much for him. I was a challenge to his ego and ability so much so that he felt it necessary to get viagra to perform. Unfortunately viagra can't teach a man how to pleasure a woman. He failed at being a friend, he failed at pleasuring me and I'm pretty confident he fails at pleasuring his own wife. Shakespear once wrote a very famous line in a play that applies to this situation extremely well.... "methinks thou dost protest too much" . Just food for thought all you swingers out there in the internet world. Is it possible that a man could be so distraught over his own lack of abilities that he would lash out at someone just to make himself feel better? Gotta wonder? I will not post anything else on this matter because as far as we are concerned we are better off without fake friends. I'd rather die alone than in a room full of pretentous jerks like this man.

[youngnhotcpl]

HELP

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by youngnhotcpl

HELP

Ummm what exactly would you want us to do here?

Its over, move on.

[turnuptheheat]

Seems that the situation got out of hand for everyone.
Everyone seems hurt and offended.
The emails were clearly abusive (if the text was faithfully reproduced) and were likely written when in a wounded or angry state of mind.
Hopefully everyone can learn something and just turn the page.
the best thing for all parties IMO.
Good luck to all four of you. I do hope something good comes from the big picture.

[Darkblue]

Call it a day and start afresh for both couples! you will never get back together so theres no use in trying to get one over on the other couple especialy on a forum, theres always two sides of a story and only the people involved know all that went on or what didnt go on...

I would however say its not fair to start telling how bad he or she was in bed as everyone is different i know women that have cum within a minute or so and others that have taken an hour, everyone is different and have different needs so i would sggest that both couples back off and leave things as finished and stop blaming the other couple..life goes on and there are plenty other fish in the sea...

Put it down to experience and move on,dont around with a bad taste or hard feeling towards the other, move on!!!


Steve

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by youngnhotcpl

Another email from this couple after I told them we were not compatable. All we want to do is try and repair ourselves, they are trying to convince us I am a piece of shit, and I guess my wife should choose them over me.

Third email.
You know i don't think we ever mind fucked you as you did us. You said you were our friends and that you wanted to learn and be like us when all you (xxxx) wanted was to fuck me (xxxxxx) as you did not very well but you did. The times that I got off both of them was with xxxx help if not for him it would never have happened. You don't know how to please a woman maybe girls but not a woman which is why i think xxx plays and lets you play with other girls. I never wanted you to beat Jen into submission that you got wrong. But then again i think that you might be more submissive than you know. I really thought that you were better people than what you have shown us and that truly disappoints me.I thought that you were a man that stood up to people and talked if that what was needed but I see now that you are not a man at all not of your actions or of your words, you can not be trusted. We could have been good friends even if the sex was not their but you don't want xxx to get that close to anyone and I see that now. Can't keep her under your thumb if she get to close to the right person. I hope that you find what you are looking for and that xxx gets what she needs. I don't think you will find a WOMAN that you will do much for but good luck.I should have known that the biggest problem was going to be that you could not handle any man touching xxx you are way to selfish. I should never have told Rob that is what I wanted he was never that interested but I thought that was how it should be. If you had been man enough we could have sat down and talked these things out but you aren't a man and I am not sure there is much hope. xxx I am sorry to say that I thought we were friends you made a good show of it. Someday when you grow up and open your eyes you will see that the way you live is not a way of life. You are a much better person than xxxx will ever be and I wish you the best! Good luck with your life you are going to need it for as long as you have him in your life. Bye guys xxxxxx


And another, Lets just all blame this on me, damn, I would liked to have been there. Fuck Me for caring, at least that much.

Fourth email.
You can think what you would like xxx never fucked xxx when you weren't in the room. xxx is the one that wanted to play when you were not thier because you make her uncomfortable. I don't think that you were are friend because friend would have had the nerve to talk to us face to face and you didn't. if you had thinks would have been totaly different. Instead you take some chicken shit way out of it and can't even be a man. And it was me who was pushing for the sex unlike you xxx does listen to what i have to say and thinks about it he knew that i was uncomfortable with the fact that you were fucking me and that all he was doing was standing around that is not right. Hell the sex with you wasn't even good you have no clue what you are doing and are not willing to even learn you don't care what or how to please a woman you couldn't have gotten me off with out xxx because you think all there is to it is pounding on it and it takes most WOMEN alot more than that. xxx didn't want to play with xxx that was what i wanted and that is the truth about it I have never lied to you or to anyone I don't lie i see know reason in it. As for xxx breaking a rule did you ever set any??? Or was it ..xxxs decision?? She can do what she wants. Remember that. xxx didn't I don't think relize that he was breaking a rule. The rule that he gave you were about me if you wanted them for xxx then you should have said that.
As for your message board I don't need poeple to tell me what or how to feel or think about this I am seeing how it is with you. I thought that we were friends and that was a lie because friends talk and try to make things right befor they just say fuck it like you did!!!!!

me again.
I say fuck it. Obviously, these people were trying to minipulate me and my wife. I should be in total agreement on this point.
This other man said he had some rules, it was agreed that I would not Fuck His Wife In The Ass, Or Give Her Cocaine, as well as the no one on one sex. I said, Hell Yea, that goes for mine also. I don't want some fat 50yo man fucking my wifes ass hole, or drugging her, or giving her drugs. This one on one sex was this important to him, and I said the same rules applied, for it seemed like common sence. Guess payback for me will to.... I ain't got no cocaine....

This is some scary shit. I would print these out, that way if you need to take this couple to the cops you have something in writing. I don't know what to tell you other than they have definite issues. Only a couple that is very attached would write things like this. Perhaps you need to send them a certified letter (so you have a written receipt that they did receive it) telling them bluntly and pointedly never to contact you in any way again or you are going to have them charged with harassment. In my personal opinion, from your first post when you said that your wife told you that she wanted to leave but could not get away from him that is sexual assault. No means no. It doesn't matter that you are swingers, or that in the beginning it was consentual. When she said no (again, in my personal opinion) he should have stopped. Thats it. From the point where she said "no, I want you to stop" a crime was committed. Now, Im NOT telling you to do anything. But I think this is a very unstable couple who need counseling probably for issues within their own relationship. Best of luck to you.

[kenora_guy]

youngnhotcpl, This couple is soooo full of themselves it stinks. I would tell them once and for all that you are not interested in them any more and that you care not to have them call or write...

Should they continue to harass you, I would (with select chosen words) let them know you are willing to be blackmailed and that any further contact will be viewed as harassment. You may need to change your telco # and have it unlisted (don't forget to use #67 when dialing out)...

This situation is messy, and I can't see any friendly way to end it beyond your previous attempts...

[Starshine]

Hey,
My hubby and I are new here, but I had to weigh in on this issue.

I am coming at this from a different perspective, I think. I am coming at it as once being a betrayed spouse from my husband's affair.

Anyway, when I read your account, I though, "it screams of affair." I am not saying that I think your wife is having one, but it sure sounds like that is where it was headed(good reason to have no contact with this couple). If this desire to be alone with your wife has come around the same time as this closed door experience you stated, then my bet would be that your wife DID agree to "play" with him. I think people are looking at it as rape, or being violated, but I just do not see how you are being violated if you have 3-4 g-spot orgasims, or are being eaten out. I mean, if I was struggling and trying to get someone I find repulsive off of me(and there have been times I have done this just with my hubby), I do not think I could relax enough to cum...and believe me, I cum pretty d*** easily.

If you all were truly so close, then emotional affairs were already taking place..even if they were between all of you. Add the sex, and you are really asking for trouble. I would say your WIFE betrayed you as much as your "friend" did when she agreed to go behind closed doors...even if she did not mean to have sex. On the other hand, why would she agree to go somewhere alone with him UNLESS she intended for something to happen? Does that make sense??

It would also make sense why you received nasty emails from them. When someone ends an affair, feelings from the other person are very raw and often aggressive. It sounds like your "friends" were hurt and did not understand where you were coming from. It could be that you were the only one out of the loop, so to speak, as to what had been going on.

Maybe I am just overly cautious, since I actually have been on the receiving end of an affair. However, that is why my hubby and I have set strict rules and consider ANY violation of these rules as a betrayal.

I am sorry if I sound harsh, but experience has taught me that if there is anything "fishy" about a story, I should follow my instincts as to what rings true. Good luck in the future.

Starshine

[Charger500]

HOLY SMOKES!!

[Mr&MrsSwing]

I am glad you all decided to get out of the relationship. You both have many other couples, I am sure, that you could develop a relationship with. The wife demanding sex for her husband, this other man taking advantage of your drunk wife BEHIND CLOSED DOORS, etc.. This is all very unhealthy. It seems that this man has fantasies about dominating your wife, and I would definitely end the friendship completely. Call me an alarmist if you will, but PLEASE do not put yourself in a situation where your wife is alone with this man. I believe, from what you have said about his character, that he may take matters into his own hands. Good luck

MRS

[newblueyedcpl4u]

First of all lets get serious here. If she didn't want him to have sex with her, what was she doing in the closed door bedroom with him? Second I have no beliefs that is she didn't want him to do it she could have fought him and made him stop or it is rape. Last she comes to you and tells you he gave her a g spot o four times, and she didn't want him too? I think someone is pulling on your petticoat a little dude. No way she would lay there through four times and not enjoy it, seems she may have not wanted it to happen the way it did but once it did, if she layed there through four times, she was loving it by the end. She is making excuses and you are a gullable man for buying into what she has said in my opinion.