Female of other couple decided she couldn't handle her hubby with someone else

[Darkblue]

Hi
We are new to swinging and have found a couple who we get on with really well outside and inside of the club we visit, we have not had sex with the other couple but have petted and touched each other with little or no problem, however on out second visit to the club with them we were all upstairs and doing the ususal stuff, massage ect and then the other female got some chocolate out(liquid) and put it on my wifes breast´s and started to lick it off,no problems there, then the women got her hubby and put some chocolate on his bits and they both licked it off and he enjoyed it,i sat and watched,the other women turned to me and put the chocolate on me and turned her back to her hubby and my Mrs and then she started to lick the chocolate off me which was no problem, we started to kiss and play around, my Mrs and her hubby went and done their thing as well(oral and handjob)(no sexual intercourse as this was agreed by all beforehand) but all of a sudden she jumped up and started asking what they were upto as my Mrs was giving him a good handjob and he was enjoying it, she was saying that she didnt want them doing that and what they thought they were doing?? well basicaly we did tell her that she had started it by turning her back on her hubby and turning her attention towards me and no one had done anything that that wasnt agreed on beforehand! anyway it spoiled the whole night for all of us and she started to blame my wife saying she was basicaly hot for her hubby? now we are unsure on how to handle this,this is our first real contact and we are their first contact!! all in all we do like them and they like us and generalyeverything fits just like a glove, except for her being the way she is!!

In my view she started it and now is trying to push the blame onto my Mrs but my Mrs didnt do anything that the other wasnt women wasnt!!!

So do we call it a day and try and give it another go and see what happens??.

Steve

[TNT]

Since you said that ya'll and the other couple are both new to swinging, it seems to me that the other wife is not yet ready for what can/might/possibly/did transpire. She's the one with the problem, in this paritcular situation, not the two of you.

Things like this happen from time to time. The best thing to do is just blow it off, don't get upset over it and continue talking and communicating with your SO.

In this particular case, we probably would try and maintain the friendship for a while but would not play again until we were assured that they had their problems worked out.


Teresa

[Darkblue]

TNT
Thanks for your answer.
Thats what were thinking of doing waiting and just getting together for BBQs ect and give it one more go and see how that goes!! after all its all about sex,having fun and living out ones fantasy´s and not finding a new partner for life!!

Steve

[Pepper & Drew]

I think I'd be friendly, but wouldn't play with them anymore. If you'd agreed upon how far things would go beforehand, and then she changes the rules midstream and makes a big deal because something that was already agreed upon is happening, then they aren't ready. To me, if they spoil your night once, they'll spoil your night again and again.....

Pepper

[Darkblue]

Thanks for your view Pepper and Drew but on the other hand doesnt everyone deserve a second chance? and we are thinking of trying again in a month or two and if if theres any friction(lol) then we can still call it a day!! it woud be a shame as its hard to find a couple who are more or less on the same wavelength,The guy is fine and wasnt worried by what was happening it was just her? but like i say we are thinking of trying again..

Thanks everyone for there replys and thoughts its good to talk to others(in my own Language) i cant post this on the German boards as they post on there as well..

Steve

[Additude]

Steve,

I'll bet her hubby caught hell. As I see it if that's not what they wanted then her husband was allowing your wife to give him a hand job. I am sure that in her mind, her husband was as "Guilty" as your wife!

I'd let them hash it out and I'd make one more attempt at communication via email if you still want to pursue it, but if you do not get a favorable response back then move on.

[Amanda69]

The other couple sounds like they just weren't ready for swinging. Many think they are and then the first time they see their partner enjoying themselves with another they feel that jealousy coming up.

It is unfortunate that this was your first experience as well but rest assured you did nothing wrong just lucked out at getting the wrong couple.

[Darkblue]

@Additude
Thats what we thought!! cant see why though? she started the swop to begin with.



@Amanda69

They have been swinging for a few months longer than we have, but hadnt made any contacts,its different here in Germany, a somewhat reserved community.

I think she is possible feels insecure as it her 3rd time married and i dont know what went on before other than she had a few affairs but hey,its not she is a Virgin, my Mrs has never been with another guy,i was and still am her first and she was enjoying herself with him as she knew what the limitations we had set..

We have emailed them and i hope we can work it out as they are a really nice couple and nearly everything fits we would like to have a permanent pair to swing with as we are not ones for swopping with every Tom,Dick and Harry!! i guess we will just have to wait and see..

It easy for me to read post´s and answer them on here with advice but its hard at times to see whats going on when the situation is yours..

Once again many thanks to you all..

Steve

[LIZA]

We have had this happen a couple times, and even did it myself once early on

But the couple we had the biggest problem with went pretty much like you describe, except she was into it and he was freaking out.

After we had met them for drinks a couple times, I invited them to go to a club we used to frequent with us. She was the one I mainly talked to and she was all for it.
When we got to the club he seemed uncomfortable and later when the 4 of us started playing it was really uncomfortable, she was giving my husband a BJ and he was paying about 10% attention to me and 90% attention to watching them! He eventually stormed out and after a few minutes she followed him..........she found us about 1/2 hour later and apologized, said he was upset and they were leaving

Well she kept in contact with me and like you guys, we were pretty new to swinging and they were really the first couple close to our age we had met and liked pretty much..............so she said he was over all that jealousy and was eager to try again if we were ok with it.

Well, we agreed. We ended up going to a different club that was so far from home we planned to spend the night there. Basically met them there, things went pretty much the same as the first night with him getting jealousy and angry and eventually leaving the room we were in. so ok, we had learned our lesson!
But then about 3am when we had retired to our "cubby" to get some sleep, a huge fight breaks out between them, mainly the male half screaming, hysterical, crying, throwing things around............we knew right away it was him and we were mortified. He must have woken at least 10 couples up and "interrupted" probably 20 more............the whole place heard every word. He eventually insisted they leave right that second and if she didnt want to be stranded that she better get in the car..........the only slightly humorous thing was when she emailed me a couple days later to ask how to contact the club...........he had been so frantic to get out he left with no belt, no cell phone and only one shoe on!

Needless to say, that was our last time seeing them!

I am pretty sure I wouldnt be comfortable playing for a second time with a couple where one had such an outburst like you describe. A lot of first timers do feel jealousy but its pretty rare that someone not be able to control it and have an outburst like that in the middle. She doesnt sound like she is prepared for swinging or maybe hey had some miscommunication over how far it was going to go

I would suggest going back to the club you like and meeting other couples that are a little more secure with it

[Darkblue]

@Liza
Quote"A lot of first timers do feel jealousy but its pretty rare that someone not be able to control it and have an outburst like that in the middle. She doesnt sound like she is prepared for swinging or maybe hey had some miscommunication over how far it was going to go" endquote

Well she was the one who is all for it??and seems to be the one who decides things? and it was discussed before hand on how far we wanted to go and they were the same,no full sex! so who knows, anyway we have invited them for a BBQ and a talk see how that goes,if were not happy then we will call it a day with them, as i am sure we can have fun without hassle...

In a way i am glad to hear were not the only ones who have experienced this sort of thing,Liza your one seems to been well OTT glad that no fight went on between you and the other couple..jealously is a bad thing in the wrong place..
Steve

[Chicup]

Stories like these remind me why newbies shouldn't swing with newbies

Mind you when we were newbies we WANTED to swing with newbies, the idea of going slow and exploring it together seemed great, and it was when we found the right couple but I think that these drama bursts are pretty common based on what I've seen and read here. At least with an experianced couple you only have 2 that might have a drama jealousy issue, make it 4 and you really upped those odds.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by Darkblue

Thanks for your view Pepper and Drew but on the other hand doesnt everyone deserve a second chance? and we are thinking of trying again in a month or two and if if theres any friction(lol) then we can still call it a day!! it woud be a shame as its hard to find a couple who are more or less on the same wavelength,The guy is fine and wasnt worried by what was happening it was just her? but like i say we are thinking of trying again..
Steve

Nope. We've met couples that don't deserve a first chance, much less a second one It sounds as if you've already made up your minds, so I'm not really sure why you asked or opinions on what other people would do in your situation. Perhaps in your case, this couple just got their wires crossed once and it'll be ok from here on, but in our experience, what you see one time is usually what you see every time. There's couples that we know that follow the same pattern, time after time. Generally (and like I said, there are exceptions), if there's drama once, there'll be drama again.

Whatever you decide, I hope you have fun!

Pepper

[Darkblue]

@Pepper and Drew
Thanks for you answer and opinions, We havent made our minds up at all,We are in the lurch, one part of me says try again and the other says sod them, thats why i was asking what others have done as i was sure this had happened to others before...

At the moment we are just going to see what happens on Saturday at the BBQ and i want to have a chat to her to see if she will tell me why she was like that??if we dont like what we hear then thats it!!

@ chicup
Interesting theory!! but we did want a couple who were newbies like us for that very fact that we wanted to learn from each other, we didnt want a couple who had been around the block a few times and who might try to put us in a position where we felt uncomfortable or even obliged to do something we didnt want too!

Steve and Susanne