Lost my job for swinging!!

[Edison Carter]

I'm sorry, this thread does not appear real. I think this person is simply trying to place a 'scare' into people. An 18 year employee gets fired over this. The empolyer could never prove he set up the sites in the first place. If someone came to me with this I'd have to establish that it was real and not simply faked to get the employee in trouble.
Unless there had been previous 'sexual harrassment' type issues and this was the straw that broke the back.... I'm sorry, maybe the guy's legit, I'm just not buying it.

[Lovely Jubblies]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

You are openly seeking sexual relations outside of your marriage. And you have posted nude photos of yourself on the internet. If you were single, and had not posted nude photos - you would probably not be under scrutiny.

Of course you have a right to privacy. But you made the choice to advertise the sexual aspect of your private life on the internet. Psycho lady came about your profiles and photos in a legal way, as did your employer.

We don't blame you for believing that your employer is overstepping rational boundaries by interfering with your sex life. But we are not surprised by your employer's actions - and they are probably acting in a legal manner.

No, we're openly seeking friends within our marriage. Our ad deliberately stated that we wanted friendship and aren't the type to jump into bed with somebody after a single conversation. If that friendship were to lead to consensual sex further down the line, then so be it. If it doesn't, then great too, we want friends who are at the very least tolerant of the lifestyle. Where better to find friends like that than on a swinger's site? So why should an employer be able to tell us where we can and can't make our friends? 'If I were single and not posted nude photos, I would not be under the same scrutiny'. So I'm obviously being discriminated against then. The law was changed in regard to posting sexually explicit pictures (which I didn't post). As far as I was aware, it was still legal to post erotic pictures. It seems that even if an employer doesn't like it, it's still my private life. It's not like I'm posing outside of my workplace in a see-through t-shirt.

Think of it this way.. Minors aren't allowed to smoke or drink. It's illegal. It's also illegal to smoke or drink at my place of work. Would I have been dismissed if someone had found pictures of me on the internet holding a glass of wine and a cigarette on a site that someone who comes into contact with my employers might find? What makes a consensual sexual act any more 'morally wrong' than smoking or drinking in front a child or an anti-tobacco or anti-drink campaigner? Finally, there's actually a lack of consistency in my own workplace. A person I know used to call sex-lines from his office phone and use the internet to search for porn. He received a written warning. He continued doing it and was eventually dismissed. I didn't even receive a warning for the things I choose to do outside of work.

Finally, the site I was using was SLS. As I'm sure you're all aware, if your external profile isn't activated, you have to be searched for by somebody who registers to use the site. That's how I was found.

[Edison Carter]

Again, this guy is trying a fear campaign. He is not real. There's no doubt after this last post that it's all a fake. Some moralistic jerk who thinks harming this site with scare tactics will work. Think about it. A person out to 'get him', trolling for stuff on the internet 'about him', unable to stop this person in eight years ? And, knowing this person is out there to post on adult sites at all ? Seems too stupid to be true and it probably is.

[Lovely Jubblies]

Originally Posted by Edison Carter

I'm sorry, this thread does not appear real. I think this person is simply trying to place a 'scare' into people. An 18 year employee gets fired over this. The empolyer could never prove he set up the sites in the first place. If someone came to me with this I'd have to establish that it was real and not simply faked to get the employee in trouble.
Unless there had been previous 'sexual harrassment' type issues and this was the straw that broke the back.... I'm sorry, maybe the guy's legit, I'm just not buying it.

WTF??? Here I am at my wit's end because the job I have had since leaving school is over because of my private life. I was a member of SLS for 3 years and several other sites, too. Yes, my pictures were on my profile. How much more proof does an employer need that it's me? And no, there have been no previous 'sexual harrassment' issues. I've been stalked by somebody that the local authorities can't help me with because the stalker doesn't actually put her name to anything.

Either your post just goes to show how f***ing unrealistic this situation really is, or you have absolutely no idea of the real world. The fact is that this is real and has ruined my life. I am in the middle of contacting every attorney I can find, along with sites such as ncsfreedom, ACLU, NCLabor, NASCA, etc. and whilst I have been told I have a case, I just can't afford an attorney. So now I'm trying to find one who will work pro-bono. Thank God you don't work for one. If you do, please tell me who it is so I can cross the name off my list.

I just hope you don't end up in a situation where you're desperate for help and somebody laughs in your face or accuses you of 'scare tactics'

[twohots4u2]

We have a small business and understand the labor laws fairly well. We feel that it would be illegal to fire someone for posting photos or an ad on this or any other swinging site. The federal, state, and local labor and anti-discremination laws apply to all businesses, private and public. Your best bet may be with the ACLU. They have good pro-bono lawyers. Fighting this sort of thing should help you, and the rest of the folks in this lifestyle.

Good luck. Our heart goes out to you.

[hard8cocklover]

I feel sorry for you. I wish that lady was nice to you instead of mean.

[2jersey]

Good luck with your problems - whatever they may be...

http://www.personneltoday.com/Articl...tm#ArticleBody

Excerpt:

By David Green, partner and head of the employment and pensions unit at Charles Russell

Q Our US parent company has asked us to include a 'morality clause' in a contract for a senior employee, which would detail what he can and cannot do in his private life. Can we do this here?

A Even if the employee was prepared to sign a contract which included such a clause, to enforce it, the company would have to show that his behaviour was likely to affect his ability to do his job.

If the individual was particularly senior and his role, the business and the company's reputation were dependent on his 'moral standing', it might be possible to enforce such a clause. The company would have to show that the individual's 'immoral' behaviour would bring the company into disrepute to justify taking any action.

In addition, if the morality clause was itself in any way discriminatory - ie, if its definition of 'morality' stated that the employee was only permitted to have relationships with members of the opposite sex - that will be in breach of new regulations which will make discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation unlawful from December 2003. The clause would be unenforceable and the employee would be able to bring a discrimination claim.

If an employee worked for a public body, they could claim under the Human Rights Act 1998 for breach of his right to respect for private life and the general prohibition on discrimination.

Q To what extent can employees' activities outside work affect their continued employment?

A In general, what an employee does in their private life outside work should not affect their employment. However, it could be reasonable to dismiss someone for their conduct outside work if it damaged, or could damage, the employer's reputation. This would depend on the nature of the conduct, the employee's role and the nature of the business.

In each circumstance, employers should always follow fair procedure, by investigating and giving the employee the opportunity to answer the allegations.

If the activities outside work involved drugs or criminal convictions, employers should be aware that they do not automatically justify dismissal if they are irrelevant to the employee's work.

[Lovely Jubblies]

Originally Posted by Edison Carter

Again, this guy is trying a fear campaign. He is not real. There's no doubt after this last post that it's all a fake. Some moralistic jerk who thinks harming this site with scare tactics will work. Think about it. A person out to 'get him', trolling for stuff on the internet 'about him', unable to stop this person in eight years ? And, knowing this person is out there to post on adult sites at all ? Seems too stupid to be true and it probably is.

How on earth can you say my situation isn't real? I take back what I said in my last post - I truly hope you have to go through what I am going through and get treated the way you're treating my experience. The simple fact is that I had profiles on Swing sites that have all had to be withdrawn. At what point have I used a 'scare tactic'? Have I at any time said 'Be careful, this could happen to you?' No, I've asked people for advice because I'm f***ing desperate and don't know where to turn.

As for the stalking thing. If you have someone who has admitted to your face that they're out to get you, you try going to the authorities with 'suspicions' and no hard evidence and see how far that gets you. 'Knowing this person is out there and to post on adult sites at all'? Regardless of who is out there, don't I have a right to live my life the way I want to as long as I'm not breaking the law? Obviously not where you're concerned.

You're obviously no help at all at least in this post. Please leave me alone.

Oh, and I'm a 'she', thank you for the assumption.

[Lovely Jubblies]

Originally Posted by twohots4u2

We have a small business and understand the labor laws fairly well. We feel that it would be illegal to fire someone for posting photos or an ad on this or any other swinging site. The federal, state, and local labor and anti-discremination laws apply to all businesses, private and public. Your best bet may be with the ACLU. They have good pro-bono lawyers. Fighting this sort of thing should help you, and the rest of the folks in this lifestyle.

Good luck. Our heart goes out to you.

Thank you, twohots. You've no idea how it feels to get a reply like yours (that was kind of a good sad if that makes sense)

[Lovely Jubblies]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

Good luck with your problems - whatever they may be...

http://www.personneltoday.com/Articl...tm#ArticleBody

Excerpt:

I just wanted to include part of the quote so you know I've read it. Thank you very much for the information, 2jersey. I'm waiting for a reply from the ACLU and will discuss this with them.

I know my situation may seem far-fetched. I'm not some sort of 'freedom-fighter', I'm just a regular girl who wanted to make new friends and have a private life that doesn't just involve knitting circles. I really hope that something can come of this - there HAS to be a point where we as adults make our own decisions on how to live our lives as long as we don't hurt anybody in the process.

[intuition897]

Hi Lovely Jubblies,

Mr Intuition here. Mrs told me about your situation, sorry to hear...unbelievable how intimiated vanilla's are by people in the lifestyle. We are in Canada and the labour laws are different (and how you spell labor too, cause I know what a stickler Mrs is about proper grammer), but I would be suprised if your employer is really that much "at will" to fire employee's. I have about 50 employee's and if we choose to terminate someone's employment there has to be: (a) a serious event/change of work performance, (b) ongoing, progressive disiplenary action/s, or (c) a external event that could make you unbondable.

If you have any old copies of performance evaluations/contribution assessments, that reflect good work ethics; and they have nothing documented to the contrary I would suspect they may find themselves overstepping their rights, and yours. Again we are in Canada and our laws are somewhat different, but we are similar enough to have our legal counsel based out of the head office in the US.

Also in Canada we have a branch in the government, the Ministry of Labour, that has a board to hear cases like these; you should call the local/state government to inquire if you have a similar institution there.

Best of luck with this!

Mr. Intuition

[Lovely Jubblies]

Originally Posted by intuition897

Hi Lovely Jubblies,

Mr Intuition here. Mrs told me about your situation, sorry to hear...unbelievable how intimiated vanilla's are by people in the lifestyle. We are in Canada and the labour laws are different (and how you spell labor too, cause I know what a stickler Mrs is about proper grammer), but I would be suprised if your employer is really that much "at will" to fire employee's. I have about 50 employee's and if we choose to terminate someone's employment there has to be: (a) a serious event/change of work performance, (b) ongoing, progressive disiplenary action/s, or (c) a external event that could make you unbondable.

If you have any old copies of performance evaluations/contribution assessments, that reflect good work ethics; and they have nothing documented to the contrary I would suspect they may find themselves overstepping their rights, and yours. Again we are in Canada and our laws are somewhat different, but we are similar enough to have our legal counsel based out of the head office in the US.

Also in Canada we have a branch in the government, the Ministry of Labour, that has a board to hear cases like these; you should call the local/state government to inquire if you have a similar institution there.

Best of luck with this!

Mr. Intuition

I can't believe this - somebody else actually believes us!! What you've said makes perfect sense - I can't see how having a profile on SLS can possibly interfere with my job. I work in administration and have no public contact. I don't socialize outside of work with work colleagues - my private life is totally separate to work for me. I don't stay out all night swinging then skip work the next morning, either, lol. I have an excellent work-record, excellent time-keeping and try not to take too much time off sick. In my 18 years working within the Local Government I have never even been reprimanded.

I'm actually awaiting a reply from the Dept of Labor (it's ok, my hubby's English, he spells it 'Labour' too). I emailed them a few days ago and have yet to receive anything back from them. In the meantime - maybe we should just move to Canada!

Thank you again guys, for taking the time to help

[LOL_OMG]

Hi Lovely Jubblies
First of all, I don't find your story far fetched...I've heard of all sorts of things through the years. As a previous government employee I remember having to read the "Code of Ethics and Conduct" on a yearly basis (they would even give you time on the clock to read it so you didn't have any excuses) and initial that I had read it. You may have had to sign something similar at some point.

I was also our local union president and have had to deal with some different morality issues. One guy was surfing porn on govt computers...thank god I dealt with a great counterpart in management because he could have been out on his ass.....2 months from retirement (can we say dumb ass?).

I think you may have a case here...based on the fact that someone had to have actually signed up for the site to see your pics. Heck my bosses bosses boss was a nudist! We just got back from a trip so I'm a bit tired but I will do a little digging on this tomorrow.

Mrs LOL

[Lovely Jubblies]

Mrs Lol, you're a Godsend!! What a wonderful way to round off my evening! I have been so down with all of this (and having people thinking I'm just scaremongering is hardly helping), it's just so nice to read that someone might actually have good news. I did email one of the country's top First Amendment attorneys who has vast experience with Adult matters and he told me that I have a case but that he can't work pro-bono (which is what I need - we just don't have any disposable income).

I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow. Thanks again and have a wonderful night (or what's left of it!)

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Lovely Jubblies

However, I have been stalked and harrassed for the past 8 years by a woman who is known to me, who has managed to trace my accounts (she spends hours each day trawling the internet for information about me).

Why did you have ANY traceable information to you on the web then? If you had someone 'cyberstalking' do you think speicific information and faceshots are a good thing to have? A slight change of address, edited pictures, even a slight age change would all be understandable by potential partners, and is commonly done even by people who are not being actively looked for like yourself.

As for 'at will' firing side topic

There are a reasons why the Canadian economy (and European economies) is so weak compared to the US. As an employer, at will firing allows me to get rid of loser employees quickly creating a better working environment for everyone else.

Obviously this can be abused as in the OP's case in such odd situations as swinging but the policy itself helps everyone, you don’t fire good employees on a whim if you want to stay in business. Anyone who has ever worked in a 100% union environment knows how bad it can get when you can’t fire the slackers.