Rohypnol at a party - Somone put it in our drinks!

[CandPinSA]

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

That aside you're still not really sure if you were raped after the drug took affect......

{SNIPPED}

........concern then my "lifestyle" being made public over a police report.

I tend to agree. Although I have never been in this situation in any setting... and as we are new to the swinging lifestyle... I would like to think that I'd rather see these bastards f*cked for their deeds. Remember, one of the most common effects of the drug is actually not being able to tell if anything at all had happened to you. In rare cases, the victim remembers 'something' happening, but not what, and remembers not being able to stop it. But in most cases, there is no memory of anything happening and often no 'feeling' of something happening. Second.... no one has to say to the police "I was there to f*ck other people as I'm a swinger and this was a swinger house party." All they need to know is that "a few couples who are friends were gathered for a weekend get-together."

I would hope that in your position, we would feel the police needed to be notified, and the lifestyle, or what others think of me for it, be damned.

CandP

[Mr. Truelove]

I say definately go to the authorities on this matter.

About confidentiality. Officers have to deal with confidential matters all the time (for their safety, other people's safety, and legally) so I wouldn't be too worried about it unless you are someone really extraordinary. (political figure comes to mind). But with lafayette being a college town I can't imagine your story being incredibly noteworthy from an officer standpoint. Just another thing that happened.

But what happened was very serious. Law Enforcement treats Rohypnol cases very serious as the person that released it in your drink will likely attack more victims. You going to Law Enforcement could prevent future cases of rape, and that in itself is reason enough to come forward. I think they would show a lot of gratitude that you came forward and would treat the situation delicately and privately.

Victim information is always kept confidential, especially in these types of cases.

I will be following this thread and wish you the best.

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by LOL_OMG

My advice would be to call or email the hosts and say that you really don't want to get the police involved but you want some answers. If you can't get them, then the police will.

Personally, I would be very wary of approaching any of the people involved directly. They're just going to deny that they had anything to do with it, leaving you with no real "options" other than to contact the police, by which time they will have agreed on their version of what may have happened. Don't tip your hand!

Better to let the cops have it from the outset. There's a little art and a good deal of science to be found in a successful interrogation. Plus...they can interview all the guests separately but concurrently, leaving them little opportunity to collaborate on their story. Not to mention the fact that they'll probably conduct the interview at the police station...an intimidating situation in and of itself. Trust the cops on this...more often than not, they know what they're doing.

Don't worry about revealing that you were there to meet other swingers, most cops could care less. When you consider the kinds of stuff they see on a daily basis, a few couples getting together to play a little grab-ass won't even phase them. They'll probably suggest that you have a full STD screen run as well, especially on the Mrs.

Gawd, if I ever found out some asshole did this to a woman I cared anything about, he'd be the one running and screaming for the cops...

[intuition897]

Actually, after reading JnCC's post, I take back what I said. Don't go to the hosts first. Get the doctor you saw to send the report to the police and let them handle it. JnCC's right: going to your hosts with the threat of going to the cops sort of constitutes tampering with evidence in a way.

I have a habit of believing the best of everyone, and always hoping that every person has some decency in them, but that's not always useful or realistic. This is just such an occasion. My suggestion to sort things out between yourselves is my knee-jerk reaction, because my motto seems to be "Can't we all just...get along?" JnCC's suggestion is far more practical and realistic. While I might not always agree with the way he calls a spade a spade I can certainly appreciate it in this instance.

[LOL_OMG]

Actually I'm changing my opinion on this as well. Because of the fact that now you've been "banned" from the group page...I don't believe you will get any answers (let alone honest ones) from these people. My concern is for the both of you. You have been taken advantage of, someone there has totally taken your trust and taken a big dump on it. I'm afraid if you don't deal with it, you could hurt in the long run...

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by intuition897

While I might not always agree with the way he calls a spade a spade I can certainly appreciate it in this instance.

Oh, come on! You know that when a spade goes by more than one name, I try to use the least offensive one...

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by JnCC

Oh, come on! You know that when a spade goes by more than one name, I try to use the least offensive one...

[Tybee Swing]

fun4Ds, we are so very sorry for what happened to you!!! It's tragic and so very sobering and scary to know that this practice exists around the lifestyle. By sharing what happened to you, you've given us all something to be wary and cautious about.

Best wishes to you - I hope you let us know the outcome of everything.

[WA_Cple]

This happened at an event in our community. The person who was drugged reported it to the dance organizer and also to the police. The dance organizers informed everyone who was at the dance and also did a general "beware of the scary people" message to several areas of our community. I'm not sure what happened regarding the police...

It is a very scary thing for someone like this to be on the loose within a swinger community because so much of our lifestyle is based on trust.

I am very sorry that this happened to you and your wife. I can't imagine how violated you must feel - it really creeps me out!! Since the event in our community - hubby and I are very careful never to leave our drinks unattended.

Mrs WA

[kandr2000]

I am so sorry...this story brought tears to my eyes and anger in my heart.

This is very serious, the police should be informed. I would also be worried about outing myself as a swinger, but they should be able to handle it with care. They are trained to do so. I have come across quite a few people that are in some sort of law enforcement in the lifestyle.

I would have the std tests, along with the hiv tests that they suggest for rape victims, just in case. I would feel relief in knowing that most times your gonna know if someone was inside of you, except for the fact that they probabley wore a condom. (my husband and I had sex after drinking ALOT and I knew we had had sex when I woke up that morning, even before he told me)

There is only ONE reason your goning to be drugged. That is for someone to have their way with you. It is very brave to do(to drug you, for no reason. I also agree that maybe they banned you for something you did. If I didnt get anyone on the phone or by email, Id be making a trip to the house to get some answers.

You are in our prayers.........

Goodluck.

[sereneiders]

I know what you're talking about.

It happens to us in a club that my wife suddenly felt a little dizzy. At least here, alcohol is something you learn to deal with since you're a teen as to recognize the effects and when something is wrong, and we're both aware of our tolerance to alcohol as to figure out when we drunk enough, which wasn't the case: we were dringking our second gin tonic, she got close to me and told me "let's go home, now!". We took a taxi to home, where she passed out. At the next day she told me that one in the taxi there were moments where her sight went black, but she was unable to let me know. It was obvious to me that someone put something in her drink and since then we pay attention to our drinks.

Six months later, we were in the club and a gal, friend of us, started getting wilder than usual. She was wild but this time she went way off the line, because at some point she dissapeared and when coming back she told us she fulfilled a guy fantasy of peeing over him, which is gross for a swinger club. The guy is a married one from a well known couple, and they both endorsed the story: she had peed on him. We grab her and bring her home where she throw up and blacked out, and at the next day she was unable to recollect anything of what happend. When we told her she peed on this guy she was so embarrased that she didn't went anymore to the club.

I googled the symptoms and reached the symptoms profile for Rohypnol. We warned the club owners, and they told us this happend before, that they're trying to catch the bastard who's doing this. In any case, it's something you may face anywhere, and because of this it's adviced to avoild leaving your drinks unattended.

Rohypnol is forbiden in USA, but it isn't here, altough it's hard to buy because it requires a double checked medical recipe. From the known use as a rape drug, Roche is artificialy coloring the drug with a blue ink (previously it was transparent), so the target to put the drug would be pretty dark drinks or blue ones, where the ink wouldn't be seen.

About your story, you may be banned because of something you did while on Rohypnol during the party, that the hosts found out after you leave (someone else told them later on), and they may have been banning you since they doesn't know you were drugged. I would contact this people face to face to tell them about the drug, that if you don't have the chance to warn the remaining members about what happend you'd conclude they were the ones drugging you and you'll report them to the police. I bet this would be enough to be unbanned and give you the chance to talk about what happend with other members of that group.

EDIT: Regarding JnCC advice, Rohypnol is hadrly used as a recreational drug (the ones using it this way would be heavy drugs users whose addictions would be easy to detect, and would combine it with other traceable stuff as to be able to recall something), and it's know to be used as a rape drug. The police wouldn't take it seriously if someone say you took it because you WANTED to when in the middle of a party: it turns you wild at first, mixed with alcohol may render you useless and unable to move, you risk to fall in a coma, you don't have ANY recollection, nor about any "pleasant" side effect (that could make it worth otherwise). No matter the fairy tale everyone involved may arrange, I doubt the police would blame on you because of being drug with Rohypnol. It is THE rape drug.

[MoonLightKiss]

My God, my heart goes to you both. What a horrible thing to have happen. And a heartfelt thanks for posting it. So many terrible things happen that people are unaware of because others are afraid to talk about them. If one person learns to never let a drink out of their site, or never allow someone else to make it, then this post was worth it.

But my advice is to call the police. Even if your intentions were to have sex at this party, your choice of partners was taken when the drug entered your system, and your choice of changing your mind and saying no up to the last possible minute was taken away too. Its rape, plain and simple. I would also agree with others. Don't call the hosts and give them a heads up. Surprise is the best element when trying to conduct an investigation. (Or at least that is what my dad tells me.) The hosts may not be guilty, or they might. Unless you know for sure who did this shitty thing to you, I would let the police start banging on these peoples doors. Let them find the ones who did this, and string em up.

And do not blame yourselves. You didn't purchase the drug or put it in your drinks, so in no way should you feel like you are at fault. Nor do I believe you should beat yourself up over feelings that you should have prevented it. There are some sad ass fuckers out here who get off on screwing with people. Unless you have a crystal ball that works, and seen this was gonna happen, put the blame where it belongs. ON THEM.

I hope all works out for you.

[ANGEDKY(mr)]

Please seek victim counseling, even if you feel ok now. This will help minimize the impact on your daily life !


Odds are cops won't turn up anything (ie no arrests) however if you wanna turn up the heat, a police report with medical records will do just that. I guarantee there will be more than one poopy diaper in the crowd that was there !

If you ever want to just vent, my P.M. box is always open.

angedky(mr)

[dinkydow4us]

I'm very sorry this happened to you guys. Please call the police, your lives have been threatend. Who ever the dirtbag was, they had no way of knowing if you were taking any other medications and what the results would be mixing them. Since you were druged at the party, it gives the police a good place to start. The police are the only ones that have any chance of stoping these people. I don't think there's any doubt they'll do it again. When they get caught, they're the ones that will get thier names in the paper for drugs and rape, not you. Don't wait any longer, call now. You deserve better than what you got. Good Luck D. D.

[TeamSoBe]

My wife was drugged in the exact same way at an off-premises party in a South Beach night club once about three years ago. We didn't call the police because we didn't quite put the pieces together until a few days later. We did locate a photo of the couple who did it to her on the party's web site afterward and show it to the promoter and as many other people as possible as a warning.

Just watch your drinks in public. In a swinging context or any other. It happened to our Mrs beause she left her drink unattended, and it didn't happen to me because I clutched my drink all night even when I went to the restroom. If I hadn't then she would have ended up raped while I slept in a corner somewhere.

Our one redeeming factor was that the couple who drugged our Mrs gave us a ride home from the club (probably hoping something might happen) and our Mrs projectile vomited aaaaaaaaaaaall over their SUV on the way home. I was really embarrassed about that until we put all of the pieces together and realized that they had been asking for it. Our Mrs never pukes and those people were why and they got to clean it up, yay!!