We screwed up - swinging on a business trip

[curiousagain]

Originally Posted by kevin&danielle

No our friend isn't involved in this, other than just us playing together. This board member basically caught us red handed. Yes it was a business trip on the boss’s dime but we figured that what we did in our evenings was our business. It had nothing to do with too much alcohol consumption either. We had talked about being with our friend the last time we saw him, which was in May. Of course it was a bad choice not to be more careful in our playing and even when it was happening and at this point have/had learned a valuable lesson. We will stick with the denying it to our grave. That is about the best we can do right now. We just feel like we are being singled out because of the nature of the sexual encounter. There were plenty of other members flirting with single women in the bar. One married member even left with a single woman to go up to his room. Married sales men for the association were buying single women in the bar drinks on the associations account. My boss is having an affair on his wife and has asked us to lie about it if we are ever asked. We wonder why all these people living in glass houses want to start throwing rocks. My job isn't in jeopardy. We are pretty close to my boss but I was quite shocked that he didn't defend us and expects us to defend him if we are ever approached by his wife. I guess I will bring up this point with him tomorrow.

Then I wouldn't worry about anything. If he brings it up again, I 'd bring up a few things myself. Of course, he is your boss and I had one make my life a living hell one time because I wouldn't cover for his affairs. Turning in my notice on that job felt way better than you can imagine.

[curiousR]

...This board member reported that he and his wife had put their ears to the wall... pounded on the wall to tell us to stop making so much noise... our neighbor looked out his door to see who it was.

it seems the conduct of the board member is deceitful, vengful, underhanded and intrusive. sometimes attacking the accuser makes you look bad so i would temper your approach but it should be said, it should be brought to everyones attention that it is inappropriate behavior to put your ear to the wall to hear more clearly, people having sex, and then complaining about it.

[graygo98]

Most Boards meet quarterly... i.e., every three months. Often a December meeting gets shunted to first thing in the NY. So, I wouldn't hang too much on the timing.

LoveDoctor's advice is bang on. Drive on, this will fade in your rear view mirrors by summer. And, thanks for the reminder that some people are real assholes.

[txduo2000]

Originally Posted by curiousR

...This board member reported that he and his wife had put their ears to the wall... pounded on the wall to tell us to stop making so much noise... our neighbor looked out his door to see who it was.

it seems the conduct of the board member is deceitful, vengful, underhanded and intrusive. sometimes attacking the accuser makes you look bad so i would temper your approach but it should be said, it should be brought to everyones attention that it is inappropriate behavior to put your ear to the wall to hear more clearly, people having sex, and then complaining about it.

You know, in my initial post I seem to have missed commenting on this completely. Very good point curious!

It would be one thing if they could clearly hear all the goings on from, say, their couch on the opposite wall from the shared wall between the rooms, but that they put their ears to the wall to listen in more closely?????

Bottom line ... if it was noisy enough to bother them from across their hotel room, then they should have called the front desk and asked for management to do something to quiet the noise. It was just morbid curiosity that caused them to press their ears to the wall to hear more clearly what was going on, which makes them nothing more than nosey, and now judgmental, assholes.

As far as board meetings taking place quarterly, I know this. It still doesn't explain why this particular member is just now reporting an incident that took place three months ago if it was of such major concern to him. Perhaps he is anticipating wild and crazy goings on at the forthcoming board meeting? Perhaps he is an idiot? Perhaps the upcoming board meeting just simply "jarred his memory" of what happened last time? Who knows? I still think it is a little untimely for him to make this complaint this late in the game. After your puppy has pissed on the rug, you don't wait 3 months to punish him for it.

And Kevin, as to your boss's "moral indiscretions" ... if you are aware of such, it seems to me that you have a little closer relationship with him other than the simple boss-employee relationship. I have had many jobs -- I never knew what the hell my bosses did in the oh so private sectors of their lives. So if this is the case, and he brings it up again, I think I would follow curiousagain's advice on this one ... let him know you will not tolerate "the pot calling the kettle black" and anyone, let alone HIM, making moral judgments against you for any reason, real or imagined is unacceptable. Leave it at that, refuse to discuss the situation further and just be careful when it comes time for your next meeting.

[billm91]

Business is business and personal is personal. Know the difference. Keep them apart.

[purrbutrfly]

Tell him you're gay and if he doesn't drop it that you'll bring him up on sexual discrimination charges How does he know who was fucking who???? lol Worked in a subtitled French movie that I can't recall the name of...pretty funny. Quit working for the boss that worries about what you and your wife are doing in your hotel room...you found that job when you where looking for one, so why not find another-maybe even make more money and have a better time on your next business trip